Interracial Dating & Marriage ("Jungle Fever")

Nice topic.  We can start this discussion where 'Dating a White Lady (or man)' stopped. 

So why is it that people who are otherwise not racist, when confronted with the spectacle of a black man or woman dating a white woman or man, discover themselves to be strongly against such relationships?  Why is inter-racial dating & marriage frowned upon by so many?  Will this change with time?

Please open a new topic if you want to talk about inter-tribal dating & marriage in Nigeria

Wow vexxy, Just a sentence and you covered it all. I am going to have to go with vexxy.

I see nothing wrong with it.

First off: I'm white, my wife is Nigerian, we've been married for 7 years and we have 2 childeren. Just to explain where I'm coming from and to point out that it can work.

Second: I really - and I mean really - hate the term 'Jungle Fever'. It's derogatory and it carries very negative connotations. If you've seen the movie by Spike Lee, you will notice that the implicit message is: don't do it, it will never work out, it's just some sort of disease.

Now back on topic.
Is it good or bad... it depends on how strong the love between the two partners is,on how easy/difficult it is to overcome the objections of the environment and how willing the partners are to overcome the cultural differences.

I want to stress that the willingness of both partners to understand and respect each others culture and habits is paramount to the success of the relationship. The differences on how you deal with life, death, having children, the role of the (extended) family, etc are what's going to make or break a relationship. Understanding, acceptance and compromise on these issues is what it needed. That means compromise from both partners and a willingness to go against the opinions of the family if necessary

When there is true love, the problems with the racist attitudes of the environment can be overcome, but working out the cultural differences requires a level of openness, commitment and understanding that is rare in relationships, even between partners of the same race.

In summary, it's not that much of a racial thing as it is a cultural problem

*I have heard it's about our attitude*

Some men can't deal with a strong black woman

i agree with you White Chicks are da bom, my first gurlfriend was white this gurl was so understanding and she was the best, we broke up because i acted like a jerk, Black gurls are really not my thing even though i am black and African, they either want gangster or pimps and finally the money. White gurls are  i feel more attracted to them than black gurls

Very true, Seun.  Discrimination or generalization of any form is wrong.  You never know who you will meet if you allow yourself the chance!

It is only natural that a Nigerian lady abroad, who would rather date and marry a black man (preferably someone from her tribe), would feel threatened by white ladies who are reducing the pool of black men available for 'our' girls!

The only thing you can do to "get" those white girls is this: go ahead and fall in love with their white brothers!  Date them, marry them, bring lots of cute black babies into their families!

Nothing wrong with it, if you ask me, but you have to tell yourself the truth that you'ld encounter so many oppositions and then ask yourself if you can overcome them.
Anything is possible only if you can stand up for it.

Here in the States, Bibi, most black men are saying that black women are only looking for someone to pay their bills.

We define a "strong black woman" as one who is financially stable, has her own benefits (medical, dental), has her own place, doing well in her job, has goals, is working to always better herself. . . in essence she doesn't need a man to handle business for her.  She is well off independent so whomever joins with her must be ready to face a woman who's life will not end if "he's" not around.


I know very few who write off black men for dating white women.  It is no longer a taboo. 

An' K. Good point about the green card thing. Good point.

i strongly disagree

some people do many naija dudes do want their "stays" so they do that.
this i know, but can't say its d general reason though.

but it isn't a nice thing to use marriage to play about like that u know.
i don't find it a reasonable act.

Smart Nigerians

who calls devilish act smart. Men some tymes i just don't know. The Fraudlent attitude is becoming rampantly come and a way of life to some. Those guys aint smart they are foolish.

Obviously I can only speak from experience here in Belgium, but it is a fact that most Nigerians (both men and woman) want to marry a Belgian citizen to obtain a residence permit. In many cases, they just separate once they have the Belgian nationality.

There are a few elements here that make this practice less than admirable:
* a lot of the times we're talking about younger men/women marrying much older women/man (and I shun contacts with these couples, because they make me feel uneasy)
* a lot of these couples are between Nigerians and the less educated part of Belgian society (that's putting it mildly) - what's to ecome of the children
* in most cases it's a contract between unequal (economic, age, education, ...) partners for reasons other than love

That's not to say that all cases are like that, but it gives both parties a very distorted image of each other