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faa (f)
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@ justmoi,
merci. I also appreciate your effort.
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Nia
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@ Justmoi, Thanks and well said.
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Justmoi (f)
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JustMoi, the point were your argument falls down is the fact than Mankind's past has followed the example of the hens moreso than your examples.
Look at the history of humans and you'll see that polygamous behaviour among the men in the past is well established as oppossed to polygamous behaviour among the women.
Here is the link for the quotes in my previous post. I meant to include it originally. http://magdalenefoundation.com/nature-female-promiscuity.htmlNew technologies, such as DNA testing, have given us insight into female sexual behavior in the wild that was once only guessed about, and guessed about quite incorrectly , And we see that being the alpha male may not be what it's cracked up to be,
", four of the males in the chimp community were dominant during the study period, but two of them fathered no offspring (within the group) while dominant. So much for the notion that dominance is necessarily coupled with high reproductive output, " 3 Chimps have a similar social structure to hens/cocks, basically an alpha male and a couple of females, yet we see what the DNA tests revealed. Testing hens offspring might reveal a shocker too. But that is just as aside. We will work with the assumption that the cock fathers most if not all of the hens offspring. That a lot of human communities were polygamous in nature or follow this or that example in the animal kingdom does not in anyway help the argument that a man can love his wife and still cheat on her. I will refer you once again to this: And we see that sexual loyalty to a mate is no more natural in females than in males:
"In fact, fidelity is a phenomenon that seems to occur only when males can impose it on females, either directly through their greater social power or brute force, or indirectly through controlling the resources that females and their offspring require. In sexually egalitarian societies like those of bonobos and marquis, females have both less fear from males and more equal access to resources than do most other female primates. The fact that the most liberal attitudes toward human sexuality are found in societies where women have similarly independent social status and economic means is entirely consistent with the broader patterns across primates" 2 Human society was far from egalitarian and women just began to acquire certain rights (e.g the right to vote) in the last century. Women were even sometimes considered as chattel. Much like in the excerpt above, early man imposed certain things (polygamy/other double standards) on females through exertion of his social power, brute force or indirectly by controlling the resources that she and her offspring require. This had nothing to do with love and everything to do with selfishness. We all know that some people will do things if they feel that society permits them. These people will cheat without compunction because they feel that the woman is not going anywhere, that she will have no worth as a divorcee, will not be able to remarry or be self sustaining, and has no other options. Love is not selfish and a person who is truly in love will definitely rate that love higher than some random shag. Now the minute a person begins to think of taking a chance, it shows you how low their so called "love" rates. Maybe a man can like his wife or be fond of her and still cheat on her, but love? Nah! |
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Justmoi (f)
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another point:
why are so many women answering this question on behalf of men?
No ladies should pretend to know what a man feels or is capable of. Are you trying to saying that we should accept whatever a man tells us (about what he feels or is capable of) no matter how preposterous it is? If that is the case, then both sexes should be able to run around doing all kinds of crazy stuff and when pulled up on it, respond as follows: "Oh you don't know what it means/feels like to be a man/woman." I betcha some people will have a field day if and when such excuses begin to wash. The question is, "Can a man love a woman and still cheat on her" I believe the women are answering because they are part of the equation (and are giving their opinions as to what they would believe if faced with such a scenario). Take women out of the equation and the question will cease to be. |
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Vieira (m)
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I think the crux of the matter here is your definition of Love.
I now see that you view love in terms of the mythical version.
I personally do not believe that love really exists.
The love as described by most believers of the fantasy love is one that precludes anything else, not even a lustful glance elsewhere. This kind of love I believe is only found among pyscho's and bunny boilers.
I would actually like to do a real life social studies test.
How many of the believers of this mythical love actually are in a relationship right now where the male is in love and hence will NEVER cheat?
I want a list of nairaland peeps.
Then I will take the next step.
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samson ebele (m)
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u know what? u can't love her and still cheat on her. Yes! if u love her u will not cheat on her.
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sagacious (f)
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I think if a guy is truely in love with his girlfriend,he have no reason to cheat on her,love is all about commitment and sacrifice. That's how i feel.
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zeekay
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YEs is possible because an african man is polygamous by nature
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earthrealm (m)
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from my point of view, its NO
if am ;dangerously inluv with a girl', i aint gat time 4 any other chic,
though some guys could stil cheat , its an indiviodual thing
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faa (f)
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I couldn't have said it better earthrealm.
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manakins
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This thread is amusing with the amount of
response and most people defining love in their
own ways.
I wish to say there is no definition for Love.It all depends on individuals perspective as
in how you want it although the society has made it look live LOVE is a sacred thing like
SEX use to be.
How many of us really understand LOVE?
How many people can actually LOVE in totality?
I conclude the word love is to big so don't even contemplate it because
LOVE = HATE
which is not suppose to be
While
FREINDSHIP = PARTNERS
b/because there is room to figth and make up.
So i conclusievely say that a man can love a woman and still cheat on her while if she finds out that love should see them through which in most cases it tunrs to hate while in friendship there is a better understanding and most likehood to make peace.
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Mystique (f)
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I was in love wit a guy once, ***Coupla years back***  |
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Vieira (m)
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What happened then? did he come to his senses?
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sexilin
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well shadex it means u can't get smfing n hv it.just like u spendin urmates money butu had urmoney den u spent it n don't won't urmate to hv d money back basically that is what no it means
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earthrealm (m)
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I was in love wit a guy once, ***Coupla years back*** k what happened, did the scales fall off his eyes??  |
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carmelily (f)
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what we often refer to as "love" isn't in fact, love. ideally, love shouldn't hurt. eric benet says he's never loved anyone like he loves halle berry, yet he cheated on her repeatedly. true love (as in the man-woman thingy) exists in about 1 out 0f 500,000 cases. watch the true story, "beautiful mind". johnny nash and his wife found TRUE LOVE.
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bammidele (m)
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This thread is amusing with the amount of
response and most people defining love in their
own ways.
I wish to say there is no definition for Love.It all depends on individuals perspective as
in how you want it although the society has made it look live LOVE is a sacred thing like
SEX use to be.
How many of us really understand LOVE?
How many people can actually LOVE in totality?
I conclude the word love is to big so don't even contemplate it because
LOVE = HATE
which is not suppose to be
While
FREINDSHIP = PARTNERS
b/because there is room to figth and make up.
So i conclusievely say that a man can love a woman and still cheat on her while if she finds out that love should see them through which in most cases it tunrs to hate while in friendship there is a better understanding and most likehood to make peace.
PLEASE EDUCATE THEM MORE I HAD TO LEAVE THE FORUM WHEN I FOUND OUT THEY WERE NOT REASONING LIKE I DO , YOU CANNOT BE PAROCHIAL IN YOUR VIEW OF LOVE , LOVE IS ONE THANG THAT HASN'T GOT ONE DEFINITION AND LOVE IS NOT SEX! SO STOP USING SEX TO DEFINE LOVE , IS LIKE SAYING CAN A MAN LOVE A WOMAN AND STILL SHOUT AT HER,YELL AT HER , BEAT HER, QUARREL ETC
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Omodada
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Ok guys, love or no love, a guy who beats his wife belongs in a mental institution.
The men and women that kill their kids and then commit suicide love their kids, but its unacceptable behaviour.
I mean, the rapist thinks he loves his victim right?
Love is a choice
--------------------
Its a choice to be patient, kind, not insist on ones own way, etc,
Its hurtful and disgusting to cheat, and creates mistrust and messed up kids.
Many Naija women feel trapped by status, being "Pregnant & Barefooted"
Frankly in Nigeria there are no consequences to this behaviour.
Try that in the US/UK and you will be
a) homeless
b) paying childsupport
So if you want to carry on, change the law and see if guys don't learn to behave.
There are no consequences so the disrespect to many women continues.
Of course I am blessed that most of the men in my family have never done that and those that have hang their head in shame.
When a girl has a one-night stand with someone else? does she still love her man?
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mubowa (f)
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@omodada ani omo daaa daa ni e se. you are absolutely right oh honey pie,is just that people haven't realize that yet
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sammyjl (f)
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 Hell ya
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lizzy 47 (f)
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the question has two answers, if the man has self-control for himself he will not cheat, but if no self-control then he will cheat
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tokzyt (m)
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if u genuinely love , u won't cheat even if u have a million opportunities of doing it and not being caught.
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amikable (f)
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i believe it is very much possible, because some guys are fond of cheating on their spouse, so am not surprise
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mindey
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no  |
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toyin.A (f)
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It is not possible cause when you're truely in love to cheat on your partner is like as if you're stabbing yourself which u wouldn't want to do TRUE LUV DOES NOT CHEAT
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page6063
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I have a long distance relationship. I leave abroad and my boyfriend in Lagos. I feel that he is cheating because of the distance, I am the one that calls him 90% of the time. (should I look at it that it is cheaper for me to call from abroad and that is why I do most of the calling or should I look at it that he is obviousely cheating on me?). The only time I am not able to get access to him on the phone is when he is at work. He tells me he misses me and he still tells me he loves me. What can I do? |
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Macgreat (m)
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@page, cheat on him i guess |
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Zandra1 (f)
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@ poster, in response to your question, as far as am concerned its impossible.
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sylvex (f)
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Nope! that's not possible. If a man truly loves a woman there's no way he can do get much less glance twice at a lady passing by,
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ifyalways (f)
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NO NO NO.
IMPOSSICANT
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