Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Family  |  Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
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SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« on: September 28, 2008, 08:23 PM »

A very good friend asked me to post this on NL


She has been dating this guy for a while now
and they are tinkin of getting married
but the guy shuttles between Germany and d USA
currently he is settled in d USA and is tinkin of bringin is girlfriend over
after their marriage in febuary next year after marriage,
but he says during the process of preparing her documentations
she would have to stay with his parents
and she has refused considering the fact of how some in-laws treat their daughter in-laws
please reasonable matured nairalanders what do you think about this situation.
Urgent advice needed

because personally i don't support the idea of staying with inlaws



onyinye2 (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #1 on: September 28, 2008, 08:37 PM »

I 100% agree with you Ruky!!!!
Tufiakwa!!!
Sorry but you couldn't pay me to stay with a man's parents. I'm sorry cause I know it would not work. Shoot, I remember when my cousin got married and stayed with her husband's parents. . . . . It was hell on earth for her. The mom wouldn't let her do nothing cause she said that she wouldn't do it the proper way. She was calling me to come get her so she wouldn't have to spend the whole day in the house. I mean it was ridiculous. So I say the couple should just endure a "long-distance relationship" then the alternative of going through the process of trifling in-laws.
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #2 on: September 29, 2008, 04:13 PM »

Quote
It's better and safer for the lady to stay away, because there's no way they will not fight.

The in-laws will be watching her every move and when they notice their son's sent her money without sending any to them? T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!

She can't even afford to dress well and look good - they'll start feeding their son with lies and ideas.

STAY AWAY!!
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #3 on: September 29, 2008, 04:28 PM »

maybe he thinks shes safer there

as long as the inlaws r ok and good,then i see nothing wrong wt that,afterall its for a little while
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #4 on: September 29, 2008, 04:31 PM »

Quote from: jennykadri on September 29, 2008, 04:28 PM
maybe he thinks shes safer there

as long as the inlaws r ok and good,then i see nothing wrong wt that,afterall its for a little while

jenny sassup
aw u dey?

did u have to stay with ur inlaws at any point
before joining ur husband
because i know u re Igbo
HR.hotness (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #5 on: September 29, 2008, 04:32 PM »

I don't see the need for her to stay with her in-laws. . .

besides being in that situation may breed contempt and cause problems in d marriage
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #6 on: September 29, 2008, 04:34 PM »

i dey jare,how my orobokibo? Grin

no i didnt stay wt my inlaws,i was schooling here,when i met my husband,so after d whole wedding and so on,we came back here together

SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #7 on: September 29, 2008, 04:35 PM »

please can anybody make a suggestion
as to where she shld stay, pending when her documentation is ready
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #8 on: September 29, 2008, 04:35 PM »

like i said it depends on d inlaws,and if its for a little while,then fine
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #9 on: September 29, 2008, 04:36 PM »

make she rent appartment then

but i wont support the idea of staying wt her own family
jay bee (m)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #10 on: September 29, 2008, 04:38 PM »

Where is she staying @ the moment?
She might as well stay put @ her current location until the whole thing goes through.
Staying with in-laws before marriage is a recipe for disaster
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #11 on: September 29, 2008, 04:39 PM »

ruky is she going to be staying there before marriage or after marriage?
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #12 on: September 29, 2008, 04:39 PM »

Quote from: jennykadri on September 29, 2008, 04:35 PM
like i said it depends on d inlaws,and if its for a little while,then fine

orobo is fine o!!
her name is Fiona

anywayz u know u cantpredict all this inlaws
especially if u re not from d same town with them
if my friend was Igbo i think it would have been a different case
but shes from my side Edo state


Quote from: jay bee on September 29, 2008, 04:38 PM
Where is she staying @ the moment?
She might as well stay put @ her current location until the whole thing goes through.
Staying with in-laws before marriage is a recipe for disaster


shes still with her parents
d staying with inlaws thing is after the marriage.
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #13 on: September 29, 2008, 04:41 PM »

then if he can make him rent self contain for her

but me thinks d guy no want her to stay alone,and he thinks shes safer wt his family
tope2000 (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #14 on: September 29, 2008, 04:42 PM »

Quote from: jay bee on September 29, 2008, 04:38 PM
Where is she staying @ the moment?
She might as well stay put @ her current location until the whole thing goes through.
Staying with in-laws before marriage is a recipe for disaster

for once i agree with u Grin
jay bee (m)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #15 on: September 29, 2008, 04:44 PM »

Less risky after the marriage as long as d period ain't more than 4 or so weeks.

What's the current relationship with her in-laws like @ the moment?
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #16 on: September 29, 2008, 04:45 PM »

as for me am strongly against d idea
because d eye service go too much
any little tin u do na their pickin them go first call


besides this, her fiancee's sisters are still in d house
and d 1st girl is a bit on the troublesome side
aw do u expect me to advice my poor friend to stay in that house after marriage
don't u think early frustration in marriage could because a lot of damage in future?
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #17 on: September 29, 2008, 04:47 PM »

a friend of mine stayed wt her inlaws,an edo girl sef ,from ishan,we happen to be class mates during high school,and when she wanted to travel to australia to meet her husband,she had to stay wt d inlaws,because of d paperwork and so on

they were so nice to her that d babe no one leave d house again

one thing about this inlaws of a thing is do ur own part to be nice them but don't get too familiar wt them ,because over familiarity brings about insults
tope2000 (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #18 on: September 29, 2008, 04:47 PM »

Quote from: SeXYhOTmOM on September 29, 2008, 04:45 PM
as for me am strongly against d idea
because d eye service go too much
any little tin u do na their pickin them go first call



besides this, her fiancee's sisters are still in d house
and d 1st girl is a bit on the troublesome side
aw do u expect me to advice my poor friend to stay in that house after marriage
don't u think early frustration in marriage could because a lot of damage in future?

hmmmm. . . true talk
As far as I'm concerned its a bad idea
jay bee (m)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #19 on: September 29, 2008, 04:48 PM »

Quote from: SeXYhOTmOM on September 29, 2008, 04:45 PM
as for me am strongly against d idea
because d eye service go too much
any little tin u do na their pickin them go first call


besides this, her fiancee's sisters are still in d house
and d 1st girl is a bit on the troublesome side
aw do u expect me to advice my poor friend to stay in that house after marriage
don't u think early frustration in marriage could because a lot of damage in future?

It all seriously depend on the duration of which he his asking her to stay with his parents.
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #20 on: September 29, 2008, 04:48 PM »

Quote from: jay bee on September 29, 2008, 04:44 PM
Less risky after the marriage as long as d period ain't more than 4 or so weeks.

What's the current relationship with her in-laws like @ the moment?


my dear it would hvae been a different tin if dey were sure of d time frame
but d estimated time frame is 6months
jeez that 1 na die o!!!!!


infact shes here with me now
make she read all ur contributions
tope2000 (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #21 on: September 29, 2008, 04:50 PM »

Quote from: SeXYhOTmOM on September 29, 2008, 04:48 PM
my dear it would hvae been a different tin if dey were sure of d time frame
but d estimated time frame is 6months
jeez that 1 na die o!!!!!


infact shes here with me now
make she read all ur contributions

thats like a life sentence oooo  Shocked Shocked
but like jenny said maybe it depends on her relationship with her in-law, Are they nice people?
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #22 on: September 29, 2008, 04:50 PM »

Quote from: SeXYhOTmOM on September 29, 2008, 04:45 PM
as for me am strongly against d idea
because d eye service go too much
any little tin u do na their pickin them go first call



besides this, her fiancee's sisters are still in d house
and d 1st girl is a bit on the troublesome side
aw do u expect me to advice my poor friend to stay in that house after marriage
don't u think early frustration in marriage could because a lot of damage in future?

ruky stop generalizing
jay bee (m)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #23 on: September 29, 2008, 04:52 PM »

6 months is a definite no.
That's self destruction. Don't think anyone can cope with 'em in-laws for that long. I can't even cope with my own mum for more than a month talk less of an in-law.
You know people like their respective space and over-familiarity brings nothing but heartache
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #24 on: September 29, 2008, 04:53 PM »

thank you guys for all ur contributions
when my fiancee came home the last time
i stayed with him at their family house
and everybody was nie to me except mhis sister

when i even spoke with his siblings dey were telling of how
nasty their sister culd be, i even saw examples of d nastiness
dey told me of how she has fought with her elder brodas wives
aw she fights with everbody in d compound ,

am not used to typing much
there are still a lot of tins attached to my indecision
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #25 on: September 29, 2008, 04:56 PM »

abeg u people r making it sound as if all inlaws r bad

d fact that u experienced some kind of misunderstanding wt them does not mean it will happen to another person or all inlaws r d same

there r some nice ones abeg,i never stayed wt mine,but if i had to,i know i wouldnt have regretted it

they even report my husband to me smtimes Grin
tope2000 (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #26 on: September 29, 2008, 04:56 PM »

Quote from: SeXYhOTmOM on September 29, 2008, 04:53 PM
thank you guys for all ur contributions
when my fiancee came home the last time
i stayed with him at their family house
and everybody was nie to me except mhis sister

when i even spoke with his siblings dey were telling of how
nasty their sister culd be, i even saw examples of d nastiness
dey told me of how she has fought with her elder brodas wives
aw she fights with everbody in d compound ,

am not used to typing much
there are still a lot of tins attached to my indecision

ok that is a DOUBLE NO for staying with in-law
continue staying with ur parent jor Cool

@jenny
urs are just nice
i hardly hear good things about inlaws
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #27 on: September 29, 2008, 04:59 PM »

Quote from: jennykadri on September 29, 2008, 04:50 PM
ruky stop generalizing


Quote from: tope2000 on September 29, 2008, 04:50 PM
thats like a life sentence oooo  Shocked Shocked
but like jenny said maybe it depends on her relationship with her in-law, Are they nice people?

yes they are nice people
but one of his younger brodas made this statement at one time

''they are still welcoming you''

another ocassion while i was at their place
one of his brodas wife was around
and she was complaining about aw, our mother-inlaw is never satisfied with what she does

after all this tins how do u guys expect me to still go there and stay after marriage?
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #28 on: September 29, 2008, 05:01 PM »

Quote from: tope2000 on September 29, 2008, 04:56 PM


@jenny
urs are just nice
i hardly hear good things about inlaws

its all about marrying into the right family

u will one day become someones inlaw wont u?

r u going to treat ur inlaws(maybe brothers wives) in a very wicked manner?if u find them living wt u in d same house?

abeg this is simple logic
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #29 on: September 29, 2008, 05:01 PM »

Quote from: jennykadri on September 29, 2008, 04:56 PM
abeg u people r making it sound as if all inlaws r bad

d fact that u experienced some kind of misunderstanding wt them does not mean it will happen to another person or all inlaws r d same

there r some nice ones abeg,i never stayed wt mine,but if i had to,i know i wouldnt have regretted it

they even report my husband to me smtimes Grin



u shld count yourself very lucky
jennykadri
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #30 on: September 29, 2008, 05:02 PM »

ruky na u d thing dey do now,abi na ur friend Undecided
SeXYhOTmOM (f)
Re: Is It By Force To Stay With Ur Inlaws
« #31 on: September 29, 2008, 05:04 PM »

hi sori
this is ruky's friend
maybe i should open an account
just that i don't know how to use it very well
 Dont Open This If You Are Not A Man!  How Do You Leave A Nigerian Man?  What Kind Of Parent Allows This Sort Of Thing And Tapes It?  Page 2
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