How Do I Keep A Relationship?

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Date: November 22, 2008, 07:03 PM
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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, iice, StephenP)  |  How Do I Keep A Relationship?
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Author Topic: How Do I Keep A Relationship?  (Read 145 views)
olajimi07 (m)
How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« on: September 29, 2008, 12:34 PM »

i have ben havinfg problem with most of relationship because i do not know how to care for them,because i thinks they come and go
sistawoman (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #1 on: September 29, 2008, 01:54 PM »

I don't think i really understand your question?

Unless you will be locking the person up in your basement there is now way to make a person stay.  You must be who you are and either they will accept you as you are or they wont.   There is no need to pretend to be someone else because you will not be able to hold up the pretences for too long. 

Just love them the way you would want to be loved.  Treat them the way you would want to be treated.  Treat them like you would want someone to treat your mom or sister or aunt or grandmother.

And if ur female then treat them like you would want someone to treat your dad, brother, uncles or grandfather.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Does this open you to hurt? Yes.  But i would love no other way.  Either i am all in or all out.
sesman (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #2 on: September 29, 2008, 02:40 PM »

Quote from: sistawoman on September 29, 2008, 01:54 PM
I don't think i really understand your question?

Unless you will be locking the person up in your basement there is now way to make a person stay. You must be who you are and either they will accept you as you are or they wont. There is no need to pretend to be someone else because you will not be able to hold up the pretences for too long.

Just love them the way you would want to be loved. Treat them the way you would want to be treated. Treat them like you would want someone to treat your mom or sister or aunt or grandmother.

And if ur female then treat them like you would want someone to treat your dad, brother, uncles or grandfather.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Does this open you to hurt? Yes. But i would love no other way. Either i am all in or all out.

Well said. I concur   ,  Good advice sisterhood  Grin
olajimi07 (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #3 on: September 29, 2008, 04:33 PM »

what i trying to say is no matter how hard i try to treat  them  the best way i want to be treated i still find out that i loose every thing at my own expense.for example:the longest relationship i have had is four month old.and  care for them i way i care for my blood sister
jay bee (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #4 on: September 29, 2008, 04:35 PM »

How many have you had?
Have you tried letting things flow naturally?
What does the word "care" mean in your dating dictionary?
tope2000 (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #5 on: September 29, 2008, 04:45 PM »

Quote from: sistawoman on September 29, 2008, 01:54 PM
I don't think i really understand your question?

Unless you will be locking the person up in your basement there is now way to make a person stay. You must be who you are and either they will accept you as you are or they wont. There is no need to pretend to be someone else because you will not be able to hold up the pretences for too long.

Just love them the way you would want to be loved. Treat them the way you would want to be treated. Treat them like you would want someone to treat your mom or sister or aunt or grandmother.

And if ur female then treat them like you would want someone to treat your dad, brother, uncles or grandfather.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Does this open you to hurt? Yes. But i would love no other way. Either i am all in or all out.


well said sis Kiss
olajimi07 (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #6 on: September 29, 2008, 04:53 PM »

I went to my friend’s wedding last night and it was so nice. I ended up taking my mother with me because I didn’t have a date to go with anymore, but that was cool because I had a great time with her. It was nice to sit and relax with someone that smiled. Even though she probably would have rather been home, it was great to have her,but later she complian of my not being able to keep one
sistawoman (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #7 on: September 29, 2008, 05:10 PM »

Quote from: olajimi07 on September 29, 2008, 04:33 PM
what i trying to say is no matter how hard i try to treat  them  the best way i want to be treated i still find out that i loose every thing at my own expense.for example:the longest relationship i have had is four month old.and care for them i way i care for my blood sister

There is nothing you can do if the person is not ment for you.

Despite all your best efforts to show them what real love feels like looks like and acts like if they are not ready for YOUR love they never will be.

Do you really know how many failed relationships the average person will go through before they find the one?
I read someplace, can't find my source right now, that the average male has 5-10 whereas the avarege female has from 10-15 failed attepts at finding love.

With each failed attempt you build your list of what you want and don't want in your ultimate mate.

You must kiss alot of toads, deal with a few chicken heads before you find that match that GOD has waiting for you.
dayokanu (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #8 on: September 29, 2008, 06:32 PM »

You can't keep a relationship? That means you don't have a job or you are broke.

The moment you are loaded the girl would worry about keeping the relationship. not you.
Cristalz (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #9 on: September 29, 2008, 07:03 PM »

Quote from: dayokanu on September 29, 2008, 06:32 PM
You can't keep a relationship? That means you don't have a job or you are broke.

The moment you are loaded the girl would worry about keeping the relationship. not you.

Behold the shallow-minded Tongue
dayokanu (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #10 on: September 29, 2008, 08:02 PM »

Keep deceiving yourself No money No relationship Period!!!
Cristalz (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #11 on: September 29, 2008, 08:26 PM »

Seems you've had a really bad experience,dk Undecided .  .  .take heart,not all girlz are like that Grin
sistawoman (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #12 on: September 29, 2008, 08:43 PM »

Where the mind goes the body will sure follow.

If you have predisposition your mind to believe that every woman you meet is after money then you are doomed for failure from the start.

But if in fact you approach every relationship as a separate realionship and not relevant to the one before it then you have a higher rate of success.

The love game is one in which you are bound to get hurt and be neglected, which in turn helps us really appreciate it when he get the love we give back in return.

I hope that you learn to soften your heart and give love another shot or two.  The payoff is sooooooo worth it.
Abuseay (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #13 on: September 29, 2008, 08:59 PM »

sistawoman wassup?? been some days i came on this land ooo, Now that am back.i just dey see ur footprints everywhere i turn to,  na wa oo,

And for the poster, well, i think u need a Good job, and leave relationship for now,  stay focused, ur true love is coming , and will spot u out in no time, just be yourself all the way, Shikena!
sistawoman (f)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #14 on: September 29, 2008, 09:04 PM »

Quote from: Abuseay on September 29, 2008, 08:59 PM
sistawoman wassup?? been some days i came on this land ooo, Now that am back.i just dey see ur footprints everywhere i turn to, na wa oo,


What sup sweetie.  I have been hiding, hanging out, dealing with family stuff.  You know we have to chat, get back to the lessons and catch up maybe tomorrow night after work.  Tonight i just want to go home and crash.  Hubby is coming home early from work to spend some much needed R&R at home with his wifey.
Abuseay (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #15 on: September 29, 2008, 10:06 PM »

AAaaaawww, so nice to know ure doing great, and thanks for being there,  for the nairalanders, lol, cheers,  talk tomorwz, am always hiding too, so a nudge or Buzz will do, God Bless U, Regds to Hubby,  and Kids,
fiz (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #16 on: September 29, 2008, 11:28 PM »

@ Poster,

You r not alone as i'm having that same problem also, my longest r/ship was just 8months, and believe me i'm no player,  just that i get fed up of my partner all of a sudden,
A-40 (m)
Re: How Do I Keep A Relationship?
« #17 on: September 30, 2008, 01:47 AM »

Quote from: dayokanu on September 29, 2008, 08:02 PM
Keep deceiving yourself No money No relationship Period!!!
How does that Good old saying go? There is no romance without finance

Or the ladies all time favorite You got to have a J.O.B if you want to be with me  Tongue
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