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uchetobi (f)
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My Boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year 5 months now. How long do you think he can stay without sex because I really love him and won't want 2 loose him.
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nddy (m)
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It depends on both of you. If your relationship is strictly platonic, I don't see any cause for alarm. But if it's not, I guess there is a problem if you ain't giving it to him. You know a brother has needs.
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DE-KING (m)
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Just like nddy said, it depends on the kind of relationship. If the relationoship is not defined, then I tell you that it's really going to be tempting especially if both of you have weaknesses for each other sexually.
Talk of me, I can be in a relationship without sex for as long as I want. It's all about self control and discipline.
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uchetobi (f)
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Actually we've discussed it and he says he's cool with it after much arguments.
But I'm scared because once in a while he brings it up again and I have to re-explain so I suspect he is having a hard time accepting it but its been 17 months now that we've been dating. I know he loves me and I love him too, I just want to have an idea of how long he can be with me.
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layi (m)
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Anyway, I am a V and I ain't scared to say that especially in this age when it sounds like "wackiness" for a guy to be one. Guys and girls can stay without sex for as long as they want. You just have to play your cards well. But after reading this: and he says he cool with it after much arguements. But I'm scared because once in a while he brings it up again and I have to re-explain There seems to be a prob. Why should there be argument? Is relationship about sex? Ever heard Onyeka's song "If you love me you'll wait for me." Tell that to him! He should respect your wish, because I believe if a guy keeps disturbing you for sex, he's selfish. Does he love u because of sex? True at times we get tempted - I get tempted as well - but I weigh my priorities and allow my head control "mr man". A guy who can't control his sex drive is a "timebomb" and a "bad lover". You are going to have to deal with adultery later in your marital life. Note:I'm not against sex but i'm against illicit sex for several reasons. |
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gina34 (f)
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@Layi am impressed.  well uche you and i have similar problem. But we have being together for 2yrs now and sometimes, he brings up the sex issue.and i will try to explain things to him.but sometimes he would'nt want to hear anything from me. So to avoid trouble i will gently live the house. One day he even went as far as trying to force me to do it.  |
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Bibi (m)
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Uchetobi - its good both of you are talking about it. You should keep talking about it. The fact that the guy comes back once a while to ask again does not me he actually wanted sex, he wants your reassurance, he wanted your encouragement.
However, be careful of whatever promises you have for each other. Did you tell him you are a virgin and are you a virgin? If he believes you are a virgin and decided to keep that pure, then make sure he will not be dissapointed. If he finds out later that you are not, he will doubt your sincerity from the beginning. If you are not a virgin, hold him in confidence and let him know upfront, so he's not expecting a virgin, even if he decides to stay.
If eventually both of you decide to bend to nature, I wont call that illicit sex, rather its something that you both shared and something wonderful between you too. You both have to be ready and willing for that to happen. But be careful, once you start this, it may not stop and if it stops, its over.
I can't say how long a relationship should hold without sex, it really depends on the 2 people involved. Ive been in relationship for 2 years without sex and I enjoyed it a lot, yet Ive been in another for just 2 days and we started off with it. If I compare both, I had more enjoyment and self respect out of the 2 yr relationship. Forget about what guys will say out there.
So, I will encourage you to keep on talking to him, make sure you spend time out together a lot, let him be at peace with you (and himself) and know you are there for him. Let him know that it will be worth the wait and that you will always be there for him. Continue to be positive to him to cast out any doubt in his mind. I'm sure, both of you will make it together.
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nddy (m)
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Anyway, I am a V and I ain't scared to say that especially in this age when it sounds like "wackiness" for a guy to be one. Guys and girls can stay without sex for as long as they want. You just have to play your cards well.
But after reading this:
There seems to be a prob. Why should there be argument? Is relationship about sex?
Ever heard Onyeka's song "If you love me you'll wait for me." Tell that to him! He should respect your wish, because I believe if a guy keeps disturbing you for sex, he's selfish. Does he love u because of sex?
True at times we get tempted - I get tempted as well - but I weigh my priorities and allow my head control "mr man".
A guy who can't control his sex drive is a "timebomb" and a "bad lover". You are going to have to deal with adultery later in your marital life.
Note:I'm not against sex but i'm against illicit sex for several reasons.
its your choice to remain one, not anyone's choice. Its your life maybe you can control yours but some can't. It just life |
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layi (m)
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its your choice to remain one, not anyone's choice. Its your life maybe you can control yours but some can't. It just life
Thats why its an advise an not a command. Point of correction: Nobody's life is out-of-control  |
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nddy (m)
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A guy who can't control his sex drive is a "timebomb" and a "bad lover". You are going to have to deal with adultery later in your marital life.
then why make this comment
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Bibi (m)
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Uchetobi - its good both of you are talking about it. You should keep talking about it. The fact that the guy comes back once a while to ask again does not me he actually wanted sex, he wants your reassurance, he wanted your encouragement.
However, be careful of whatever promises you have for each other. Did you tell him you are a virgin and are you a virgin? If he believes you are a virgin and decided to keep that pure, then make sure he will not be dissapointed. If he finds out later that you are not, he will doubt your sincerity from the beginning. If you are not a virgin, hold him in confidence and let him know upfront, so he's not expecting a virgin, even if he decides to stay.
If eventually both of you decide to bend to nature, I wont call that illicit sex, rather its something that you both shared and something wonderful between you too. You both have to be ready and willing for that to happen. But be careful, once you start this, it may not stop and if it stops, its over.
I can't say how long a relationship should hold without sex, it really depends on the 2 people involved. Ive been in relationship for 2 years without sex and I enjoyed it a lot, yet Ive been in another for just 2 days and we started off with it. If I compare both, I had more enjoyment and self respect out of the 2 yr relationship. Forget about what guys will say out there.
So, I will encourage you to keep on talking to him, make sure you spend time out together a lot, let him be at peace with you (and himself) and know you are there for him. Let him know that it will be worth the wait and that you will always be there for him. Continue to be positive to him to cast out any doubt in his mind. I'm sure, both of you will make it together.
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layi (m)
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A guy who can't control his sex drive is a "timebomb" and a "bad lover". You are going to have to deal with adultery later in your marital life.
then why make this comment
Let me know what exactly is wrong with the statement |
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nddy (m)
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ok i can't control my sex drive , does that make me a time bomb or a bad lover
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layi (m)
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@Nddy
Sure it does!
That means you're going to have sex with anyone,anytime and anywhere the drives 'drives' u.
You can even 'make out' with your lover's sister since u can't control the drive.
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obong (m)
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just have sex with the guy, damn
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nddy (m)
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@Nddy
Sure it does!
That means you're going to have sex with anyone,anytime and anywhere the drives 'drives' u.
You can even 'make out' with your lover's sister since u can't control the drive.
thats funny though, the thing is that yes i love sex, But hold on can i ask you a question MR V (hahhahahhhahaha) what do you do when the feeling comes into you |
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layi (m)
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thats funny though, the thing is that yes i love sex, But hold on can i ask you a question MR V (hahhahahhhahaha) what do you do when the feeling comes into you
*what funny in beign V*Good you call it a feeling. Note first of all...that this feeling is triggered by events. It's a response to external stimuli. I guard against such stimuli/events to the best of my ability and at times when i'm not too succesful. I just take my mind off it. Its a mind thing. If we have to respond to every feeling...we'll steal and we'll kill. In short words...your ability to control your feelings is what make u higher than animals. |
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uchetobi (f)
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just have sex with the guy, damn
if i could have sex with him i would have. why hold anything back from the love of my life. but its against my personal belief. i know if he is mine he will stay. i just wanted to look at the situation from an average person's point of view. i assume that's yours. so thanks |
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gina34 (f)
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Everybody is entitled to his/her opinion.
Power without control is useless.
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vexxy (f)
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Uche,
I find the fact that you both talk about it very good. It's healthy to discuss all aspects of the relationship with your partner.
I do not see a cause of concern by his continous asking. Like Bibi says, he may just need reassurement and encouragement from you.
I see that you also said that it's against your personal beliefs, does he not share this with you? That may be the cause of re-occuring "arguments." It's important to set boundaries and let him know your beliefs.
Also, I see that you've been with him for 17 months and you both are in love. Are there talks of marriage?
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Scorpio (f)
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just have sex with the guy, damn
You harsh o , n e wayz uchetobi, it all boils down to u and what u believe. if he really loves u, he'll wait, just like people have said earlier on. don't let him make u think otherwise! |
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nddy (m)
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*what funny in beign V*
Good you call it a feeling.
Note first of all...that this feeling is triggered by events. It's a response to external stimuli.
I guard against such stimuli/events to the best of my ability and at times when i'm not too succesful. I just take my mind off it. Its a mind thing.
If we have to respond to every feeling...we'll steal and we'll kill.
In short words...your ability to control your feelings is what make u higher than animals.
a guy saying he is a virgin doesnt give him respect or whatever, agurl could be proud of it but boys(laughs) i find it stupid |
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Scorpio (f)
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a guy saying he is a virgin doesnt give him respect or whatever, agurl could be proud of it but boys(laughs) i find it stupid
Y? just askin because i'm curious! |
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layi (m)
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a guy saying he is a virgin doesnt give him respect or whatever, agurl could be proud of it but boys(laughs) i find it stupid
your opinion...neither am i asking for your respect. If u were one..i'm sure u wont see it as beign stupid. Moreover i wrote it to show that abstinence & self control is very much possible (Firsthand experience). Whatever u deduce from it is left to u. I'm happy i answered her question *why u hittin on my posts alone?.....i aint scared bro...just want to be sure its in good faith  * |
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nddy (m)
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[On the topic] Girl, all you do is your choice, whatever you do make sure you ain't doing it against your wish.
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hot-angel (f)
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if your boyfriend can do without sex for a year and half. I think he'll and he can defintely wait for you to be ready.
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lily
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if you're keeping your self because of you faith, then keep it up, but for a man,its not worth it,because ,when u get married, he'll ask u why u didnt learn how to play,then he'll go outside to someone that knows how.
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Danasco (m)
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Twice i had a relarionshio that i spend morethan two years without love making. Its easy if u love the person. Presently, i have spend 1 yr 7 months.we are already planning for
our weeding. You are all invited please.
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lily
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congrats, but when u wed and she doesnt do it right,don't go outside to find who does it right,just teach her if u love her.
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dovey (m)
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Integrity matters a lot. If you want to retain your integrity with this guy, just wait until you are much more ready. What gives u the assurance that after having sex with him, he would stay.
If he loves you from the bottom of his heart, he would reckon with you. At least sex is not food.
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WesleyanA (f)
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as long as i can. . . .my wedding night's the due date though. @layi, you're going to make your girl really proud of herself and you. |
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nddy (m)
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why do people take pride in things that don't matter in life.
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