The Deadly Affair

There were three guys standing in line to get into heaven. Just as they were about to enter, St. Peter stops them and tells them they have room for only one more person, so the one who died the worst death may enter.

St. Peter starts off with the first guy and his reply was: "I always had a suspicion that my wife was having an affair so I came home early one day to find that there was nobody but her. That is until I peered over the balcony to find a man hanging from the ledge in his boxers. I got so upset that I started stomping on his hands but he wouldn't let go. I got a hammer and started pounding on his fingers, but he wouldn't let go. Then finally I went inside and grabbed the fridge and dropped it on top of him. After I looked down to see that he was crushed to death, I felt so bad that I took a shotgun and killed myself."

St Peter says, "that's pretty bad," and asks the second guy how he died.

The second guy said, "I was getting ready for my workout in the afternoon and I always do my aerobic videos in my boxers. Today I somehow slipped and fell off my balcony. Luckily, there was the balcony on the floor below so I held on to the rail. As I was calling for help some lunatic started yelling at me and started stomping on my fingers. He brought out a hammer and started pounding on my fingers, then he quit and went back inside. When I thought he was gone I started pulling myself up from the ledge and all I could see was a huge refrigerator falling on top of me and I fell with it 10 flights below, and now I'm here."

St. Peter thinks to himself, 'that's pretty bad..'

The third guy was Bill Clinton!
St. Peter was surprised and said, 'Well Bill, what happened to you?" Bill says, "Well, you won't believe it. Picture this, I'm naked inside a refrigerator.....

heres another............

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves,
and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind
them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is
galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following;
"Emma comes first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I
come again. Two asses they come together again. I come again and
pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In
this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "I'mma just tellun my
friend howa to spella Mississippi."

One day a little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver. He starts saying things like: "If my Mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I would be a little rooster," the bus driver said shut up!

Still the boy went on ... "If my Mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant, I would be a little male elephant," the bus driver said shut up!

Still the boy went on ... "If my Mom was a female dog and my dad was a male dog, I would be a little male dog."

The bus driver got so mad, and asked: "If your Mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a homo, what would you be?"

The boy answered: "A bus driver!"

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

That is nasty

The first one is d bomb! Why didn't I see it before???
The last one is disgusting!
But they're all nice!

this was when Nairaland had no MIgnies, no Ituens , No teddy bears ie when Nairaland was fun to suff

wetin u dey try talk new fellow