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chriscox
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Hi everyone,
I really feel blessed to have found this forum. My story is that I am a young white British Male in my mid 20's. I met my Nigerian wife (also young) here in the UK whilst she was studying her masters. We fell in love and got married. The thing is, even though she married me, she is very much Nigerian and loves being in Nigeria so much. She had made it clear from the beginning that she will not settle to live in the UK. We are currently based in the UK but now looking to relocate to Nije. We have no kids.
My wife and i are however both wondering what it would be like re-locating. My wife grew up in Nigeria but has never had to live there whilst being married to a white man if you catch my drift. We are worried about how people will perceive and receive us. Especially my wife who feels that she will be judged by her fellow Nigerians for marrying a white man. What' mids so funny is that we dont fit any of the Nigerian stereotypes for couples like us. My wife comes from a wealthy family and didnt get with me for money or anything like that. She also didnt marry me for a UK passport. She is very patriotic and married me for love. According to my wife, a middle class white male getting together with an African woman is a good representation of equality across racial lines. She is miserable here in the UK and absolutely hates it. So regardless of the dangers, we have to move ! Any thoughts on this?
Secondly, I am an IT software engineer. I'm not sure how lucrative my work field would be over there. Is it possible to get a job in this field as a young expatriate with 2 years experience? Does anyone know of any foreign IT companies in Abuja? Thirdly, I hear that the Nigerian government doesnt give passports to Male foreigners on the basis of marriage no matter what?
I have come on nairaland to seek advise as my wife herself doesnt know the answer to some of these questions. Please i need some constructive advise. As you can see our case is on the rare side. Its usually the other way round! (Nigerian man/White woman). I have seen some good advise on here and hope to get some.
Personally, I have been to Nigeria a few times, whilst arranging our traditional marriage and love the country. I like the people's warmth and the land despite all the negetive rubbish that's being circulated about nije, especially by the British media! I found it devastating to see that all the things we hear about Nigeria in the Uk are not necessarily true! I am not naive, yes, there are negetives but to me these are born as a result of hardships which were induced by the West in the first place. Dont get me wrong, I am a proud British Man but also all for Nigeria and feel i can join the new generation youth there to help others and bring about a positive difference. (Not that the youth there are not trying to do so already : pls dont get me wrong). I just feel that especially in terms of using my UK IT links to partner with fellow ambitious Nigerians, i could promote something lucrative in this sector,
I feel that this blog could help alot of couples in our situation as there arent many post for White male/Nigerian female marriages on Naira land. (Nija brothers, much respect to you and I sincerely hope this isnt insulting to you in anyway. I am on your side o! I love your women and just had to take one for myself. And dont worry, i am taking good care of your sister, afterall, i paid dowry at the airport before flying her out of the country after we got married).
Any advice on our transition to Nigeria would be most helpful.
Thanks.
Chris xx
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richo (m)
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u beta stay in UK till u get a well paid job in naija! you can inquire from banks and telecomms cus other sectors dnt really employ IT experts.don't expect life to be as easy as britico for naija oh!!
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Area_boy
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there's so much wrong with our mindset and culture here in naija that needs a second look, rule of thumb here is, black marry white = "done for money or foreign passport" and anyone doing it is guilty as charged, sad as it is, it's true in some cases. but the average nigerian will never notice the difference, you just have to manage here and see how things turn out, as per good IT company here, why not start up one yourself and u'll be doing good before too long. place to stay = abuja or calabar, everywhere else is shit,  nuff said  oh and one more thing, do like i'm planning to do, neither of you stay in your home country, migrate somewhere else, not naija, not UK, that way both of you make the sacrifice, comprende?? |
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netotse (m)
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u need to do a hell of a lot of research before coming here or else u will carry last,
all the best in you plans sha!
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chriscox
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Thank you for your reponses so far. Greatly appreciated.
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monkeyleg
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Hi Chris,
I know you might feel that your situation different, but believe me, there are couples like you living and enjoying Nigeria. However, just like in the UK, certain parts of the country are a lot more elighthened that others (Lagos, Abuja, Port-Harcourt), to name but a few. So from start you guys got to choose well.
It is good to know that you are both somehow well off, so you may not struggle as other, and I am sure her family will do all they can to make you guys settle quickly, just be open minded (which I can tell you are), and have tons of patience, cos it can be very frustrating at times. In my opinion Lagos would probably suit you guys more, cos there is the large expatriate community there , which I am sure you will need from time to time, and besides that is wehere all the bigs companies are.
Now work, I would advice you start looking from the UK. There are a lot of big multi-national companies in Nigeria (Shell, Schlumberger, Total, Chevron, Microsoft, Oracle), to name a few, and I am aware loads are looking to move into Nigeria as well. So I will advice you do your research well in the UK, before you leave. I know these big companies do a lot of global recruitment drives, so look out. You can also look at SA companies that are setting up shop in Nigeria. Dimension Data is one of them. You also have the big consultancy firms (Accenture, etc), So the options are there, but you have to look well. I think the Times or Observer advertise jobs in Nigeria, so that might be a good place to start.
I hope this encourages you, that it is possible, but you have to plan well.
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fustina
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chris, babez, if u get a great job in lagos or abuja, i advise u to relocate immediately. my situation is exactly like urs and i am enjoying myself, the only problem is that it took me a month to get use to the life style but now, it is awesome.
i know your problem is racial discrimination and/or sterotyping, there is nothing like that over here. instead, wherever u go, u get "first class treatment" because nigerians love tourist. its unlike ours in every aspect. i suggest u live and work in abuja, its more accomodating, relaxing and a lot of freedom(as long as your wife's family is wealthy or u are wealthy enuff, u wuld luv yt),
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Sam Milla (m)
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I have traveled and actually lived in many European countries
and one thing i have learnt is that most of the negative things people say about those places are simply not true.
I commend you on your decision to relocate which i believe doesnt come quiet often in cases like yours.
A lot of people will tell you the disadvantages of relocating to Nigeria and leave out the advantages.
I am a Nigerian and i know we all love visitors.
We are ranked the happiest country in the world
And that is for a reason.
Places like Abuja and Lagos, Calabar or even Enugu are very quiet to live.
Plus there are already thousands of White guys living freely there.
Lagos will be my best pick since you white guys likes visiting beaches and so on.
I took a German friend of mine home and we visited many places even my Village in Enugu.
Now i live in Holland and he calls me all the time to ask me when we will go to Nigeria again.
I will like to point out that his mother objected to the travel.
It was his father who encouraged him to take the journey.
I am suprised that Europeans who colonised us for many many years are now afraid to visit us.
Concerning Job,
There are very lucrative IT jobs every where in Lagos and Abujah.
Nigeria is the biggest computer and internet user in whole of Africa.
Understandably we have the biggest population.
So that puts you in a position to become very rich if you eventually open your own firm
Which will cost less than half of what it will cost in London.
Do some online search. With your qualifications, you will get a job easily.
And believe me , people will respect you where you work more than the Other Nigerian workers.
Plus my favourite : ADVENTURE.
The best way to know things better is to actually see them and touch them.
Sometime in the future , you will live to be envied by all your mates.
It is the same with us Nigerians. Travel and live in Another country and your mates will respect and envy you.
Even those who are actually richer than you.
Good luck Mr Chris and love your wife more.
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Ruby_Pearl
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No wonder you dey bash naija women. I see you got fetish for white women. koda o koda, bo se nbu wa.
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plus_Queen
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Is the wife also Igbo?
that seems to be the tribe of the naija counterparts of these so called associations.
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Ruby_Pearl
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For six months? You no get work At the end of the first month, you should have let her know that you dnt play games. but then, naija men are kinda slow in that dept. So how much did you spend on her? |
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Ruby_Pearl
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I just hope my husband and kids dnt see this
Answer my question jor, on my previous post
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Ruby_Pearl
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lmao! rush myself ke? Do you know am in my early 30s  rotfl, you sure chris will pick up? you berra run after him.  how are we deceitful?  |
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bigboyslim (m)
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Rubyyyyyyyyyyyy, how now. long time. how's it going? anything for the boys?
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Ruby_Pearl
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eya, waz up, bro. hope your HB is alright now pkele, I saw your previous post. |
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bigboyslim (m)
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eya, waz up, bro. hope your HB is alright now pkele, I saw your previous post. LOL. omg. u never forget. but thanks for your concern anyways. plans are still in the pipeline but i'd rather not talk about it. |
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davidif (m)
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@poster
oga chriscox, why would you want to leave the UK and come to this useless joke of a country. Please, unless you have to don't come to naija but if you do eventually decide to come, then go to Calabar and Abuja and NOT lagos or port harcourt abeg.
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Ruby_Pearl
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rotflmao!! Dude, you're funny. breastfeeding ko breastslapping ni Am not deceiving anybody o. I just dey post and go like no man's bizness. wetin Chris say? Did he answer? LOL. omg. u never forget. but thanks for your concern anyways. plans are still in the pipeline but i'D rather not talk about it.
Eya, hope everything goes aiight. No, I dnt forget things easily. That's the problem I have, Forgive but never forgets  |
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Cipriani (m)
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rotflmao!! Dude, you're funny. breastfeeding ko breastslapping ni Am not deceiving anybody o. I just dey post and go like no man's bizness. wetin Chris say? Did he answer? Wonders will neva end in this world. Na you be the 1st girl wey go tell me say she dey breastslap her own pikin Kai!!#@ Your pikin don suffer , which kain mama you be sef, :-\so if to say I mari you na so you go dey breastslap my children, na dat same breast I go use breastbeat and breastpanel your body. |
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Ruby_Pearl
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rotflmao!! funny dude! I don marry already, so stop dreaming  Even if them breastslap you, you go still go smile |
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Ruby_Pearl
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e serious so? Why would I want to post my wedding pixs?  privacy!!!! I be yankee girl, you dnt know?  You go wait tire! Ask other NL members wey dey wait for yankee wife Just make sure chris no give you a naija woman with blond wig |
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