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layi (m)
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Marriage
« on: September 17, 2005, 12:09 PM » |
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1. Marriage is not a word. It`s a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor`s Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don`t know son, I`m still paying for it.
10.Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn`t know hiswife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son,EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman`s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13.When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
15. Con*bleep*ius says: man who sinks into woman`s arm soon have arms in woman`s sink.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in Nigeria, the rest cheat in "rest parts of the world".
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can`t face each other, but still they stay together.
19. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right, I just didn`t know her first name was Always.
22. It`s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY,A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT
25. WIFE: Let`s go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.
26. At a *bleep*tail party, one woman said to another: AREN`T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
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vexxy (f)
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This is too funny! I'm passing it to my friends now.  |
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FOD (m)
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MORALE: Save yourself the trouble of marriage...remain single...jk. Nice one, Layi.
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goodguy (m)
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coo  |
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hot-angel (f)
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This is hilarious. Good job layi. Nice one! 9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don`t know son, I`m still paying for it.
10.Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn`t know hiswife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son,EVERYWHERE!
26. At a *bleep*tail party, one woman said to another: AREN`T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
21. I married Miss right, I just didn`t know her first name was Always. Those were my favorites. |
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bagoma (f)
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hey layi. was that a war agaist women? how come u implied in so many words that women are d guilty in bad marriages? take your time o. sho areo, sho gbo? anyway u cracked me up. that was funny! ha! |
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layi (m)
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Emi o ni fowo osi juwe ile popsi mi. I rep the male kingdom to da core. You should see fabians joke about men...u'll think we were a mistake from GOD. Its time to turn tables like i'm a DJ...sorry  |
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Farriel (m)
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Interesting. And yes, I also noticed the way that women seemed to be portrayed as being the cause for most failed marriages in this joke. I'm not sure most ladies would find this funny, Layi.
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bagoma (f)
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 u are damned right we don't! he's been seriously warned. i believe he's taken every foul word back. abi, no be so, layi?
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layi (m)
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My point exactly.... When the guys are being hit..the ladies giggle But when tables are turned, its cheating. Foul words? I don't see any o! Really I've got no bias for the women folks..i love y'all...just wanted see how u'll react to the joke since y'all were at dumb male jokes. |
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vexxy (f)
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I think this is funny. It's only fair after all of the "Dumb Husband/Men" jokes I've read. |
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kissyspark (f)
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its no joke i think its a fact   |
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bagoma (f)
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then think again sho gbo? |
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goodguy (m)
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kissyspark is right. It only sounds like a joke because those facts are funny. |
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vexxy (f)
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I think they're more opinions then facts which is what makes them jokes and makes it funny.
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aquita (m)
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@layi
nice one. welldone.
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oyinyechi (f)
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Nice piece! kip d ball rolling
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