Love Letters

Dear Sugar

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalysis goes in reverse gear My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.

Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs ever bite you because you are too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Ever,
Sugar nonoza

Anyway funny letter

If physics is in the right place and there is definite chemistry, then biology would automatically take place.

omg this is so sweet!

These ma people here are just toooo much !

Heres mine oooo. i just dey try sha !

Thinking about you baby and all the times we've been together like  butterflies to flowers.
Retrospective my companion. remember the time when our eyes locked. the burning ember and the current that radiated when our hands interlocked.
That first night when our lips sealed thinking, our  world is going to go wide apart if we let go of ourselves ! remember the exploration of the inner chamber when i was vigourously sinking in the honey pot.  the sweat of our body and the rhythms of our souls beating together in unison !
The whole world on exile and all other creatures  to extinction. I would be the king and YOU the queen.

Thanks for loving me baby because my world is filled with absolute bliss, you crept into my unique soul and transformed me into this glowing rainbow of illuminating colours.

I love u forever and a day.

_{I find it sooo difficult to do now ! i havent done this in a very loooooooooooooong while}

It makes me remember those days in Secondary School, the letter too much walaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiii

so, you guys still write love letters, hum!, the last time i received one was like 10years ago. The world has moved on . Catch the vibes.

well if it still exists is another topic on its own.But the fact remains that they are able to express how much they love themselves. they most important thing is are u able to communicate your love with the person u love.I think in their case the message was effectively passed because that what they tell themselves when they are together.

the 1st one was really funny, cracked me up big time 

as for the reply, I'm afraid I just melted away into complete boredom, wasn't funny, a bit pathetic actually, sorry. 

A LOVE LETTER

I was riffling through my old things the other weekend:
Secondary school note books, undergraduate files and
somewhere in my notebook for PhiChemBi
(pronounced FI-KEM-BA): Physics, Chemistry, Biology). I'd
come across a true relic from the past: a love letter I'd written to
the
first girl I was supposed to have loved. How the letter survives till
today
is a comment on my personal habits. I don't keep diaries - I've
always
thought that only mean people do - but I never fail to keep
documents.
Letters, ordinary notes, office memos are carefully hidden away
somewhere in
my unending file of documents. I sometimes thought it is junk but as
it happened
that weekend, I encountered a document which recalled past memories.
The
keeping of junk probably has its uses after all.

The letter in question is not an ordinary letter. It is the
first letter I'd ever written to any girl. It was also written in a
particular style. As secondary school students, we had our own way of
doing
things. A form three student as we then were who was just being
introduced to
the mysteries of science and agriculture, invariably felt that a love
letter
was a good forum to show off his erudition. Every love letter was
scrutinised by one's circle of peers. For the writing of this
particular letter,
I had no fewer than 10 advisers. The letter kept going back and forth
with
each person, adding his own line. Our objective was simple: that the
girl to whom is was addressed should fall head over heels in love. We
had high
hopes that the letter would do the trick. You probably also once
wrote
such a letter.

it is as follows:

At school, July 10, 1982 My dearest, sweetest, fondest,
fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Yetunde. I hope
this
letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology.
My
principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind
towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been
troubling
my soul. The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my
adrenalin
is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the
windvane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same
time; the mirror
in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are
the
one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you. I went out to sea
in my
dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H20 and you in your majesty rose
from
the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be
with us!
We are thy servants.

As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you
to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on
this
matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we
should
seek and we will find, and that we should knock, and it will be
opened unto
us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord,
one
thousand, nine hundred and eighty two, asking, seeking and knocking
at
your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in
my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system,
the
oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my
room. The
conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realise the gargantuan
nature of
my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without
sugar, like
a snail without shell, a Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become
an
orphan. In fact I'd kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in
the
morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently
created by
God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please
Yetunde,
let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said
it
all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasise,
universally
and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the
metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction
and the
adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that geography of your
body is a permanent allelluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and
iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is
milk and
honey. At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time
saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once
lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that
glitters
is not gold. The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What
God
has put together let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy
task
even if God's time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man
without love
is like a fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you
like
the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and
let me
have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me
to
you.

I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only
admirer.

The attached form, which has become brownish with age, is
itself a study in youthful naivety. It contains such questions as
what is your name? Age?
Do you have a boyfriend? If yes, please state why? If no, please
explain?
Do you love me? If no, state why. If yes, doxology.
What is your hobby?
Which is your favourite food?
Mother's occupation?
Father's occupation?
Are you from a polygamous home?
Is your father rich and handsome?
Is your mummy also a paragon of beauty like you?
What do your parents want their son-in-law to become in life?

I could not stop laughing. Imagine the kind of things we
did as small boys. Asking a girl to fill a form! The questions and
the idea of
it strike me, in retrospect as plainly stupid but at the time,
writing
such letters to unsuspecting girls was the centre of our world. I
confess
that I was a consultant in the matter. All my friends wanted me to
help
them write their love letters. And whereas they succeeded with their
letters, my own letters never brought any results.

This particular one (I must have written over 30) was never
sent. What happened I recall, was that there was a change of
strategy.
The consensus was that I should speak to the girl directly. I was
scared!
My friends insisted, however. I was coached for days without end.
Whenever we wanted to put theory to practice, my heart would beat so
fast that
I became tongue-tied and I'd develop instant fever. One day, I
finally found the courage to do it. It was a disaster. I went up to
the girl,
sweating profusely:
>
"Excuse, I want to tell you something" (this took at least
10 minutes)
"Yes"
"I think I am in love with you. I want the two of us
to, (this took not less than 20 minutes, the sentence was completed
with a
sign, indicating boy-girl relationship)
"No, I don't want," the girl replied.
"Why now?" (another five minutes)
"I don't know"
"okay, thank you." (less than one minute And I took to my heels

lol

@
Damsal

 i went through your profile and pic, u look graet, can we be friends, i qiute agree wit u

This Letters are wonderful I just got one for myself.Thanks all

@micklplus
 hmmm u try well well. i v u sent it to anyone? it could go a long way, u know

@builder
oh that was really funny. your letter made me laugh and the form just sent me rolling. u mean in your time such forms really worked? i mean babes actually filled and returned them? 
 men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  that was like applyin for a job vacancy
 

@emenno
why don't u send yours to me. i promise not to laugh.

too bad i never received such letters. GSM and email spoil show for me

i think u re right, anyone reading wil surely laugh

but its not funny

 :d