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KarmaMod (f)
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I . African women are too deep into cultural stuffs and I don't want anyone to indoctrinate my kids either by religion or culture.
what does this mean?  |
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davidylan (m)
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what does this mean? why u vex? Now its the Nigerian women and culture thread u're already frowning?  |
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KarmaMod (f)
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what's the culture?
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davidylan (m)
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what's the culture?
you werent exactly asking this when the other thread was up about nigerian men loving culture so they could subjugate their women. |
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KarmaMod (f)
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Your point?
That is the Naija MALE culture.
what's the culture of Nigerian WOMEN?
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davidylan (m)
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Your point?
That is the Naija MALE culture.
what's the culture of Nigerian WOMEN?
Your point? That Nigerian men have a culture but women dont? You cant have it both ways. |
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KarmaMod (f)
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Let njagangja answer me since you dont get my question
I'd like to know what female cultural practices she's referring to if that's alright with you
we already know the males'.
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LadyT (f)
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Hissssssss Karma you are acting like you dont know! You know how we eat young children. Go shopping naked. And Worship the god of devils.  |
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KarmaMod (f)
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Well Im a big fan of dark skinned babies They taste like amala |
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blkjoooo (m)
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People, am a nigerian man n i wna state it clearly dat nothing with a man catering 4 his relatives. I can understand why aa women feel its wrong, its nt right. If u were ere in nigeria or grew up u wuld undastand better. Most families ere are veri veri veri poor. N d few wu hv d money dnt help execp u r related 2 dem, sum dnt even help if u dnt hv blood connection. So it is every family for themselves n them alone. Take for instance a poor nigerian family of 4 kids, the parent are nt financially dat ok, Ol the while they hv been managing jst so they could send their kids scool. Lets say afta some yrs one of d kid got a nice payin job meanwhile his siblings r there they dnt have any job. Do u now expect him nt 2 support them or what, knowin dat if he doesnt do it no one from elsewhere is goin to help his family! Pls, u guys shld consider d situation here b4 u start giving your husband family names. Most of them its nt their fault they askin their bro 4 money. If our economy was favourable am sure tins lyk ds
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Lopezdee1
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to these emmm outsiders ahhahha  I'm myself is a nigerian man straight up to the blacked-up cave hhahha. we in uk still remember them day when an irish man will spend all his money in beer and kabab, in a night out, even spent his transport money! it all good for some funi lookin creatures to come in here to run off their mouth feelin like they touchin something hahha hmm As for aa man, i think the nigerians will be in better position to comment on the lovly aa culture, if u could enlighten us on your so called emm precedent and noble culture @ post i can only blame those foolish nigerians that marry non nigerian lady, cannot elaborate more on this? Some even settle for a fat wite ass. Even someone from funi places got issue with a nigerian man. what these outsiders dnt know is nigeria is hard core! till u get that in your block head the earlier the better. it doesnt matter where a nigerian man is, back home is always at the back of his heart right. he loves his country dearly like a pussie. he is not like say the greeks, italians and stuff. he is different. he beleive action speak louder than words, he doesnt beleive in phonin u 10000000 times a day to say i love u, when he knows he doesnt meant it, he wouldnt buy rose day and night when he knows deep down its all bulls hit, u know the modern cave attitude like some say if an outsider cannot identify with our hard core nigerian culture, get yourself your own polarised-kind, u cannot marry a moslem, deny him prayin 5 times a day Ike or whatever your name is, what a MORON you are , a brain is a terrible thing to waste son. |
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Tanna (f)
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I've been married to hubby 14 years. I am Black american. He is born and raised in Lagos. This man has tried my patience, and tested my salvation. He has made me feel like the most valuable woman in the world, and the ugliest. Now that we have both matured and hung in there-- I feel BLESSED and PRIVILEDGED to be with such a quality guy.
Pros: Very passionate and focused, EXCELLENT PROVIDER, MUCH charm, Saves money Very well.
Cons: SEXIST, CHEAP, ARROGANT, Overly Dramatic about menial things, and his STYLE of Communication is a constant obstacle for us.
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*Hauwa*
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ummm wow! the pro short sha my sister the cons long Pros: Very passionate and focused, EXCELLENT PROVIDER, MUCH charm, Saves money Very well.
Cons: SEXIST, CHEAP, ARROGANT, Overly Dramatic about menial things, and his STYLE of Communication is a constant obstacle for us. you mean mind reading right? |
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JJYOU
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ummm wow! the pro short sha my sister the cons long Pros: Very passionate and focused, EXCELLENT PROVIDER, MUCH charm, Saves money Very well.
Cons: SEXIST, CHEAP, ARROGANT, Overly Dramatic about menial things, and his STYLE of Communication is a constant obstacle for us. you mean mind reading right? you!
Ike or whatever your name is, what a MORON you are , a brain is a terrible thing to waste son.
you hear? |
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nalijah07 (f)
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@ adconline - I want to thank you so much for your posts.
I too had a REALLY big problem with my boyfriend sending money home constantly. Just watching him make sacrifices himself to send the money home was infuriating to me. It's to the point that whenever he mentions our future together I'm thinking in the back of my mind that if this sending money home thing is going to be a part of our future then I'm not sure I want any parts of it.
It's not that we AA's are not educated or don't have money or a life for ourselves. It's just natural to feel protective if you think your mate is being used. But in reviewing you post and realizing that there are no social security benefits, tuition assistance programs, etc. and the fact that some may have refinanced their land for him to get here is giving me a different school of thought.
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tpia
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I've been married to hubby 14 years. I am Black american. He is born and raised in Lagos.
This man has tried my patience, and tested my salvation.
He has made me feel like the most valuable woman in the world, and the ugliest. Now that we have both matured and hung in there-- I feel BLESSED and PRIVILEDGED to be with such a quality guy.
Pros: Very passionate and focused, EXCELLENT PROVIDER, MUCH charm, Saves money Very well.
Cons: SEXIST, CHEAP, ARROGANT, Overly Dramatic about menial things, and his STYLE of Communication is a constant obstacle for us.
this has to be one of the funniest posts about naija men, on Nairaland. Especially the bolded.  |
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April22 (f)
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@ adconline - I want to thank you so much for your posts.
I too had a REALLY big problem with my boyfriend sending money home constantly. Just watching him make sacrifices himself to send the money home was infuriating to me. It's to the point that whenever he mentions our future together I'm thinking in the back of my mind that if this sending money home thing is going to be a part of our future then I'm not sure I want any parts of it.
It's not that we AA's are not educated or don't have money or a life for ourselves. It's just natural to feel protective if you think your mate is being used. But in reviewing you post and realizing that there are no social security benefits, tuition assistance programs, etc. and the fact that some may have refinanced their land for him to get here is giving me a different school of thought.
Trust your gut on this one. I suggest you talk to him about if he plans on always sending money back home like he is now. Believe me. If you get married, you'll start learning all kinds of things about his relatives. And you may discover some of the requests for money are based on lies. That's the part that gets to me the most. What bothers you now is going to be multiplied times 10 after you're married. The other thing is even if he says things will change after you get married, I wouldn't just trust that. He's got to in some way show he's turned over a new leaf and if he hasn't maybe the two of you aren't compatible. Something to think about! |
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nuzo (m)
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Trust your gut on this one. I suggest you talk to him about if he plans on always sending money back home like he is now. Believe me. If you get married, you'll start learning all kinds of things about his relatives. And you may discover some of the requests for money are based on lies. That's the part that gets to me the most. What bothers you now is going to be multiplied times 10 after you're married. The other thing is even if he says things will change after you get married, I wouldn't just trust that. He's got to in some way show he's turned over a new leaf and if he hasn't maybe the two of you aren't compatible. Something to think about!
How come you know all these "bad" about nigerian men since your own man is "perfect"? My advice is that anyone who finds this cultural difference so annoying should head for the law court. Fortunately or unfortunately, getting a divorce is one of the simplest cases one can win in the western law courts. Just wonder what your problems are since you have a perfect nigerian man. |
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April22 (f)
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How come you know all these "bad" about nigerian men since your own man is "perfect"?
My advice is that anyone who finds this cultural difference so annoying should head for the law court. Fortunately or unfortunately, getting a divorce is one of the simplest cases one can win in the western law courts.
Just wonder what your problems are since you have a perfect nigerian man. Divorce is not as simple as it seems. Once people get married, unless one spouse does something really bad, it's important for the couple to work through their problems together. My husband has told me I married him--not his family. I've pretty much figured out what matters the most is how we deal with what comes our way. I know his family is not going to change. But I can say I know some American women married to or dating Nigerian men who don't have a similar mindset. It's a lot easier to determine before getting married then to wait until afterwards. People start merging their lives together, including having children and not to mention all the emotions involved. Marriage is too important to just jump in and figure, well we can go to court if it doesn't work out. |
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nuzo (m)
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Divorce is not as simple as it seems. Once people get married, unless one spouse does something really bad, it's important for the couple to work through their problems together. My husband has told me I married him--not his family. I've pretty much figured out what matters the most is how we deal with what comes our way. I know his family is not going to change. But I can say I know some American women married to or dating Nigerian men who don't have a similar mindset. It's a lot easier to determine before getting married then to wait until afterwards. People start merging their lives together, including having children and not to mention all the emotions involved. Marriage is too important to just jump in and figure, well we can go to court if it doesn't work out. I beg to disagree with you on how hard getting a divorce can be for westerners. Its even much more understandable getting a divorce cos of this particular cultural difference than other flimsy excuses most westerners give for divorce. As for the other american ladies complaining about this differences in their nigerian men; didnt they notice all these when they were dating or do they just see nigerian men and get married to them the next day? Like you rightly mentioned in your post; quickly run to court if the marriage is not working. No need to waste your energy on nairaland thinking you can get rid of a culture that may have made your man what he is today. A thing you seem to be enjoying. |
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JustGood (m)
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@Nuzo, God bless you for being so polite with your responses to these women. @ALL BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN, if you dont like the way Nigerian men behave please get the hell away from them. Why do you stay with them and expect them to change? If you cant change to suit and understand their ways, please f*** off and spare us your moans. Go and find American men or men from other Nationalities |
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Abiodun92 (m)
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Very Serious.
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April22 (f)
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I beg to disagree with you on how hard getting a divorce can be for westerners.
Its even much more understandable getting a divorce because of this particular cultural difference than other flimsy excuses most westerners give for divorce.
As for the other american ladies complaining about this differences in their nigerian men; didnt they notice all these when they were dating or do they just see nigerian men and get married to them the next day?
Like you rightly mentioned in your post; quickly run to court if the marriage is not working. No need to waste your energy on nairaland thinking you can get rid of a culture that may have made your man what he is today. A thing you seem to be enjoying.
Based on your post, I assume you're not close to people who have divorced. It may seem like no big deal, but it is. I think what can lead to divorce is when people can't work through or live with their differences, which can include cultural differences. But even if people have the same culture, there still can be personality differences or whatever. What's your definition of a flimsy excuse for a divorce? Adultery, domestic violence, one spouse so bad with money it leads to bankruptcy? I just listed some examples here of why some Americans of various races (I'm being broad here) get divorces. Quickly run to court if the marriage is not working? You're joking--right? is this the same advice you give Nigerian women? I haven't seen where any foreign women on here have called for getting rid of Nigerian cultures. |
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Nijasingh
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Foreign women /Men need to appreciate and accept that family values among Nigerians are important and they should be Happy they are married to people who have family ties and not just living in isolation like in the west!!
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tom28 (m)
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I know this yoruba man who is married to a russian woman and everyday this woman insults the daylight out of this man even in the presence of other ppl.This man slaves for her and when this man is making amala in the kitchen she laughes and calls him a blk ape making who loves to feed with his hands.Their relationship is wht i consider weird and its odd tht this man doesnt find anything wrong when his wife refers to him as a monkey.
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