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sade (f)
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19 Year Old Nigerian Girl Looking for Her Parents. What can I do to help her?
I was in my place of work one faithful morning when a 19 year old girl came into the office crying over her lost property.
According to her she was brought to UK when she was 14 years old by a woman to work as a house-help. She said the woman do maltreat her and she has to run out of the house which made her to start sleeping in the park where I work. She do keep her luggage in the bush near the park each time she wants to sleep but this very day she got to the normal place where she kept her things and couldnt find it so she has to come to the park office to complain.
When she mentioned her name I realised she is a Nigerian and I inteviewed her. I realised from the interview that her parents separated when she was 9 years old so she knew nothing about her mum and they brought her to UK to be a house-maid.I think the woman actually used her daughter's passport for her to enter the UK so she has no passport on her and she has no place to live and the woman told her never to come to her house again.
The problem now is that she has loss contact with her parents and she does not even know where they are in Nigeria she only knows her dad's name. They both got no mobile phone when she was coming to UK so there's no way she could contact them.
So I don't know how to help the girl.Is it possible to place an announcement from here stating her dad's name on radio or tv or do we need to contact the police. I'm really confuse because she's too young for what she's passing through now and as an house-maid she has no one in the UK. And I can't imagine how life will be like if winter comes because she's homeless or I should not indulge myself in her case?
Someone should help me out here. Please!
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Seun (m)
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What a case! The following information will prove useful to those who want to help:
- The name and address of the woman she was living with in the UK.
- The picture of the girl (so her parents would be able to recognize her).
- The full name of her father, and a description.
If you report the case to the British authorities they'll deport her, right?
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sade (f)
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She knows where she lives and her phone number so I asked her to call the woman and apologise so she can use that means to get her parents phone numbers but she warned her never to come or call her again.If she has to report to the police the woman in question wil be in trouble 'cause she brought the girl here when she was a child (14) so she was innocent.
The girl is from Ijebu Ode in Ogun State.She actually gave me her dad's name but I don't want to mention it here for confidentiality reasons.
Even if the British authority has to deport her she has no home because she doesnt know where exactly her dad stays and she knows nothing about her mum.
She called me few minutes ago to tell me the woman told her she loss the phone numbers,that if she really needs her dad's number she should go to Nigeria!You can imagine that statement.
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Seun (m)
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Can she subtly mention to the woman that she's considering the possibility of going to the police as a last option? I think this should put the woman in a more cooperative mood. (Yes, you're right not to mention any of the details in public unless it's determined to be necessary)
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sade (f)
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I'm planning to call her tonight maybe she should threaten the woman that she might report to the police and lets see what will come out of that.
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Seun (m)
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I didn't say threaten, I said 'subtly mention'. There's a difference.
She should go like, "ma, I really need that phone number. Because if I don't get the number, I'll have to go to the police1, but I don't want to go to the police. Please, help me in God's name ... my friends2 say they can't help me if I don't get the information"
Information subtly passed accross:
1) I am aware of the option of going to the police.
2) I have friends with me who are advicing me
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sade (f)
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Alright then.Thanks alot.I appreciate that.
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Propre (m)
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If I were in your shoes I will advise the girl to contact her local housing or social service department or better still you can call them on her behalf and explain the situation to them; I am sure they will provide her with temporary accommodation and necessary assistance.
The social service will eventually call in the police; who cares if her old madam gets into trouble, she deserve to haven’t brought in a minor (14 years old) on a false passport to be used as a maid.
If she doesn’t want her service anymore, she should have sent her back to her parents in Nigeria instead of throwing her out into the autumn cold.
Why help her find her parent anyway; they gave her up at 14 years old to become a house maid – Her best option is to remain in the UK
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WesleyanA (f)
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don't say that. the mother probably wants the girl to grow up and achieve ina new supposedly better country.
some people would do anything to go or get their kids to the UK.
it's not like the mother wasn't thinking she was going to grow up get married and not become a maid anymore.
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Jackie (f)
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Sade why don't u call the woman in question and talk to her. She should know what she will go through if she has to be reported to the authority" Child Abuse" I would suggest call the woman and hear her own part of the story. Why is she treating the little girl with disgust?
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hot-angel (f)
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I am not the best at giving advices but i will try. Sade, the best thing i think you can do for this girl, is to call her madam (you said the girl talked to her madam few minutes ago.. soo that means she has her number). Call the madam, claim to be a child-guidian or summin, and ask the madam for some informations you think will be helpful in search of the girl's whatever you are looking for. I see you r really interested in helping this girl. Don't you have like someone who is in a big place, like a lawyer friend that can help you go do the job. You'll tell your friend to act like s/he is sent from govenrment, tell the person to tell the madam that the girl (her house-maid), is at the orphange home as of now.. just cook some stuffs up for the madam. Threaten the hell out of her. Tell her if she doesn't co-operate you will tell the government she used her daughter's passport to get her house maid in the State... and all that. Poor girl.. her parents divorced at 9 and she's leaving on the streets at 14. This is soo sad.  |
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Scorpio (f)
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I really don't know what to say because u guys have already said it all. i'm just concerned about where that poor child is spending the night and i don't care if that woman would co-operate or not, but that girl needs a home; so i'm sayin she should speak to someone in Child services or somn.
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yinkaboi (m)
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sad isnt it? i think seun has said it all. try and squeeze out whatever u can from the woman and see if she is on the right side because some of our girls tooo could be mischevious!!!!!!! perhaps she did somefin ........ donno but its only fair ro get adequate info from both parties before taking action. peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  |
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uchetobi (f)
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Make sure d girl is 4 real that is she is not trying 2 con u or something. then u can plan your next course of action
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Seun (m)
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Also a important point - make sure the girl is real.
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Motee (f)
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Be careful in any way you will help her.
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drbigdaddyg (m)
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You guys and babes are really great in advice. I couldn't imagine it being a problem unless this girl is fake or has commited something that warranted the treatment. In this case, I will advice, you get to the root of the whole matter, making sure the woman is at fault. Be very careful Sade  |
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sade (f)
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Thanks evryone for your contributions.
She said the left the house because of the way do treat her.She said "I prefare sleeping in the street than going back to her".According to her the woman promised her parent that she would send her to school which she never did.Infact she said she has not attended any school since she got to th UK.
I collected the woman number and witheld my number to call her but she never picked her call so I left a message that I need to speak to her concerning a girl I met and I promised to call back.But the girl called me back few mins after that the woman called her that she shouldnt give anyone her number and if she needs her parents' number she should go to Nigeria!That was when I realised the woman is not ready to help.
I think the best thing to do is to report to the social services because the law here is a bit rigid.I didnt really want to involve myself in something that might put me in trouble but she still sleeps in the park and winter is arround the corner.
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Seun (m)
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We are with you all the way. Trust your judgement and do whatever you feel needs to be done to help the girl. Good Samaritans like you are the angels that make the world a better place for the underprivileged. On behalf of the girl in question and the Nairaland community:  to you! |
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Motee (f)
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@ Seun....I BACK YOU UP MAN.
@ Sade....Goodluck.
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MSY
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So , any update on the girl ?
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drbigdaddyg (m)
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Maybe the girl has got wings
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sade (f)
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Thanks.The last time I saw her she said she's staying with a friend now.But the aunty promised to take her back to Nigeria next month because the girl told her she will report to the police.I think the girl prefer going back to Nigeria though she doesnt know where the parents stay but the woman can sort that out for her.Thats the latest so far.
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drbigdaddyg (m)
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You've really done great. The girl owes you every good offer that'll suite you because you've really demonstrated the quality of that good samaritan.
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Seun (m)
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So now you're trusting this same woman to take her to Nigeria and put her in the right place? Are you serious? What if the woman brings her to Nigeria and just abandons her here? I don't understand what you're saying at all!
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drbigdaddyg (m)
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You've really said something. Let the lady tell her where the parents live and if possible should call them before the girl so that she (the girl)'ll speak with her parents. I believe the lady must have had the parents' phone number or any means of contacting them.
So, is only when this girl has heard from her parents that she would give in to the lady otherwise she should keep threatening the lady.
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whocares
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I don't understand the reluctance to report this woman to the police.
If the authorities deport the little girl (it seems the girl wants to go home) - she gets a free ride home
If not - social services can help her with accomodation etc.
I cannot imagine what the little girl would have done, to warrant bad treatment.
And for the woman to allow her sleep in the park (in that weather), especially in a country where she knows nobody - is just plain evil.
She (the woman) needs an eye opener - if whatever the little girl did is that bad, the police will deal with it.
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sade (f)
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I called the woman sometime ago but she never picked her call and the last time I spoke with the girl on phone she told me the woman said its either she comes back living with her or she takes her back to Nigeria.Ofcourse the poor girl prefare going to Nigeria to staying with the woman here.
But as you've all said I'll make sure she speaks with her parents before she can follow the woman.It's a good point.I had wanted to help her to report to the police but she said no so there's nothing I can do because I've actually tried my best.I would have loved to call the woman again but she had told the girl never to give anyone her number again because I've called her twice.
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Seun (m)
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I feel that what the woman wants is not important. If the woman says she doesn't want you to call, well that's bullshit because she's just trying to get away with the bad things she has done.
Sade, you're a gentle soul and this is nice, but if you need to use a tough hand to get what's best for this girl, then do it. I sense that at this point you are eager to wash your hand from this case and forget about it. However, my belief is that what is worth doing is what doing thoroughly so your efforts will not be wasted in the end.
Cheers!
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drbigdaddyg (m)
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Yes. You have started the good work, Sade, besides this girl stands so many risks if she is not helped now. So, we better go ahead especially now that we have already began with this initiative. God's reward awaits you if you eventually save this girl from this problem.
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Z4M4eva (f)
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Pity!sad story |
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gbengaijot (m)
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I am sorry i didnt get this in time.Since she is trafficked into the country, i thinki can help her out. I use to work as an administrative intern with an African organistaion called Africans Unite against Child abuse. and its owned by Miss Modupe Debbie Ariyo. She is actually a sister and a God mother to me. We have dealt with trafficking cases like this before at the office when i was working there. I don't work there anymore but i can get in touch with her and she can help out in contacting the madam, the social services and the police in a way that the interest of the child will be protected and wont be at risk. Since she is under 18, if there is proofs that she was smuggled into the country, she is more likely to get assylum here in the UK( i think so, i am not sure) until her parents her found. please don't let the madam take her to Nigeria because she could be retrafficked or totured to silence. I know what madams are like in the UK( very wicked). You can find more information directly at www.afruca.org or u can txt/call me on 447940263849 for me to link u up with Debbie. |
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