Webster's World: topsy turvy

well, i went visiting-my girlfriend. she lives in another city and from time to time i just have to do the obligatory visit. they are somewhat expensive-the visits i mean. But that's life. so, we got talking and gisting. i was feeling on top of the world until she asked me, "how's your christian life?" i lied of course. told her it was healthy. this eternal race isn’t easy you know. Blunt says, “how i wish i could choose heaven from hell." Anyway, i got wondering. How do these girls, fun-loving and exciting one day, all of sudden turn religious. i know am not the only one to experience this phenom(my friends concurred). i suspect it comes with maturity. i don't have anything against being religious. infact, its a plus. made me love her the more. (i hope i really do)

well(my lecturer says its a nice habit)-i mean my use of the word, "well". i do so when i'm also speaking. so well. when i got home, my little teen cousin was yapping that the mexican soap was not running on AIT. you know the one i'm talking about(when you are mine). i wasn't bothered. what bothered me was - well first of all it wasn't on because the president was live on TV-she hollered the president to hurry up his speech so AIT could show WUAM. i was speechless. thank Goodness no security personnel were around. you know OBJ, he chatted and even joked  until the allotted time for the soap was over and then he promptly closed the speech. maybe he knew he had a captive audience of young people at that particular time-talk about primetime.

woke up this saturday morn with pain in my right leg. i hope i'm not getting ill. ignored it and went out-ended up going with my friends to buy live chicken. and yes, spent a big chunk of the day gisting with this girl(i think she has a crush on me). i hope to, well, never count your chicks until they hatch.

sirwebs.

AUG, 19: I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
-- Thomas Carlyle

I spent a large part of today calling the customer care line of a major GSM company in Nigeria. MTN of which am a subscriber kept billing me N25 and yet not connecting me to the call centre operators. In fact, at the point at which I am supposed to be connected, I will be instead DISCONNECTED. It is amazing that a company which has at its disposal some of the brightest brains in the country has a lousy customer care. Well let me as well unburden my chest. MTN is tight fisted. They hardly give perks, unlike the competition. I have spoken to a few fellow ‘Y’ello’ users and the story is the same. A good pal of mine has concluded plans to emigrate to Glo Mobile. I don’t think I will take such a drastic measure myself because I am not surprised. It’s the usual ‘Nigerian factor’. Nothing good seems to work in Nigeria.

Now the talk is on Nigeria, I must say that I am really frightened. The rate at which the security situation has deteriorated is horrifying. I now lock my doors with huge padlocks. I don’t understand why these politicians can’t conduct themselves in a civil, modern and above all democratic manner. It shows the caliber of persons contending to rule over us. Analyzing the doubtful events with some associates, we concluded that our parents’ generation has failed this country. They seem to be all educated but not enlightened because some of the stuff they do smacks of ignorance, a lack of culture and finesse which are hallmarks of enlightenment. What more can I say. I hope, pray we are better. For once let us not become chips off the old block.

sirwebs

"The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star."
- Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste

I spent the day catching up on my correspondence and one of the letters i wrote was to an English aunt of mine who has been away from Nigeria nearly 25years. Here are exerpts of my reply to her enquiry on the state of Nigerian food:

The most remarkable thing that has happened to Nigerian foods in the past fifteen or so years is the proliferation of MacDonald style fast food chains. The business was started by UAC (you may know the co.) and now every Dick, Tom and Harry has joined the bandwagon. Nigerians have a habit of refusing to be creative but eager to copy and recopy any successful venture. Well, no matter what the economic indices might say these fast food centers are full(especially weekends) as families, friends, associates etc tuck into western diets of burgers, rolls, pies, buns, ice-creams and the whole lot. However Nigerian staple are hardly, if ever, served.
 
We still eat garri, beans, rice, yam, potatoes and the wide variety of soup. Garri is quite expensive now. A cup (can you remember the size) goes for N20. A cup of beans is (I’m getting these figures from my sisters now) N25 and rice is N20. A lot of Nigerians, especially city dwellers now routinely eat foreign or imported rice. Basically these are polished grains from Asia (mainly Thailand). They are now massively imported and as a result are cheaper and have pushed the local variety to the back burner. In recent times however, medical personnel are saying the local, unpolished, rice grains are healthier and campaigning for people to go back to them. The Yoruba middle and upper classes have recently been making a fuss of serving and eating locally produced rice at social functions. It’s a fad (if you ask me) that demonstrates you are rich because you can afford local rice (remember they’re costlier). We still have the regular okro soup, egusi soup, etc plus newer ones that people learn from other ethnic groups. The Efik of calabar are wonderful cooks and from them we now have Afang soup, Edikanikon(something like that) soup and others I can’t pronounce not to talk of trying to spell. Afang is unique because no drop of water is added to the soup. The sizable amount of palm oil which is poured in and the fluid which come out of cooking an assortment of vegetables are the only liquid in the soup. Stock fish is still imported for the soup pots and meat and chicken eating avidly. Chicken is quite affordable now since they are massively imported from Asia although its consumption was dampened earlier this year for fear of –what else- avian flu.
 
 
Yours,

sirwebs

““Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.””
 -J.R.Tolkien

I have been busy preparing for a job test. As I usually experience difficulties with math, I’ve been seriously ‘swotting’ and reacquainting myself with old foes a la: fractions, decimals, percentages, mean, and mode etc. Well, to get to the location of the test I have to travel a long way via public transport. Honestly I hate it. Uncomfortable, irritating and I find it impossible to get used to. Why can’t I fly? Damn expensive! I believe I am sounding impossible. I hate traveling by road and I can’t afford to go by air. This reminds me of the tortoise in Igbo folk lore. He never was satisfied with where he was and yet he couldn’t afford a better state. And when help invariably came he acted as if he was the one doing his helpers a favour.

The classic tale is told of Mbe (Tortoise) who foolishly fell into a pit of filth (make it faeces) and was stuck for seven days. When his rescuers arrived and where preparing to arrange the difficult and tasking job of pulling him out, he lambasted and shouted on them to hurry up and pull him out ‘because the stench was ‘killing’ him. They wondered at how the stench was now unbearable at the moment of imminent freedom when he had been there seven days.

Unlike the Tortoise, I am supportive and thankful for all the help I receive.

Talking of the tortoise and his funny double ways reminds me of the cricket umpire at a recent test match. He accused one side of ball tampering, an issue which led to a stalemate and then fortuitously asked for half a million dollars to stand down from ‘refereeing’ the match. Archetypical tortoise 101.

sirwebs

Rise up, o men of God! Have done with lesser things;
 - William P. Merrill (MHB 585)

I had the opportunity of worshipping at two centers recently and I noticed a few interesting things. The first church was a glitzy, modern, urban, forward looking congregation. Every body was super decked in immaculate outfits and the pastors were supercharged in the Spirit. However, I seriously doubted how genuine the outward appearances where. The raising of hands, the singing and swaying, the ‘falling’…; well honestly it was obvious even to a first timer that instead of brotherly cooperation there was open competition among ‘brothers and sisters.’

The preacher shouted on top of his voice into the microphone along with a professionally executed bit of acting for the better part of one and half hours and the service was over. I came away with the impression that everything – the service - or a lot of it was cosmetic.

The second church I attended had your regular ‘orthodox’ setting; suburban, middle class, and unpretentious. The humble looking clergy preached a ‘straight from the heart’ message in a conversational tone with a huge touch of piety. The congregation exhibited a ‘real’ sense of brotherliness and the singing and dancing and worshipping were absolutely genuine.

I came out with a warm feeling and on retrospection felt maybe…really, all that glitters is not gold.

sirwebs

"In politics, nothing is contemptible." Benjamin Disraeli


Well, I had taken a self imposed sabbatical from Blogging. It was wholly intended and maybe I should say refreshing. Blogging can be a lonely and lonely hobby. And yet it can be a group activity and in the case of the UK a national and historical event. The British have been encouraged to keep a (online) diary of daily events for posterity.

Ultimately a lot has happened from impeachments to what else, threats of impeachments. It seems that is all the lawmakers in this country are good at. The fervour with which they pursue the impeachment process is mysteriously absent when they are pushing the passing of a bill. However all that is beside the point and stale news.

A few days ago the Americans announced they have attained the 300million mark. As our census board cannot tell us the results of the count earlier in the year we still continue the practice of ‘hazarding’ a guess. Hazard because there is nothing scientific about it. It depends on what you believe or want to achieve: 130m, 150m, 180m and 180+ m. Anyway the salient point is that the US has always and continually uses its large population to drive its economy. And it even supplements that by encouraging immigration of labour to move its gigantic country. But alas as the most populated Black Country with the tenth largest population in the world we have not been able to utilize our size to any benefit. The under education and use of abundant human resources has naturally led to a ‘dog eat dog’ society where mediocre and  incompetent persons find themselves in power and subsequently go looting, circumvent the law, and openly display a vaulting and vulgar ambition for power. While others are busy taking advantage of the web to chronicle the workings of society for the benefit of the unborn generation, we are busy dismantling the work of previous generations and generally making a fool of ourselves.

It is interesting that a segment of Nigerians now barely sleep at night. Not because of the age old menace of armed robbery attacks but for the modern, marketing menace of offering all night free calls. one wonders what people talk about at night? A friend of mine is a pastor or is it evangelist? He provides counselling services over the phone from midnight. Another one has half a dozen girlfriends. Dating for him is now a midnight freebie. And so i tell my teenage cousin, "don't take any man serious who calls you when its free."

I don't call folks after midnight. I don't think its polite enough. Neither do i think its classy no matter what the networks say. It used to be cool, yes. But what everybody indulges in almost always is no more cool. But what i believe should be a hot debate is why the so called free calls comes with an unwritten caveat: "your call may not connect until after a dozen trys." My worry is when they all clog up their networks, what happens in an emergency. A real emergency and you can't call for help just because a bunch of businessmen are afraid to make their free gifts free. Reminds me of the Greeks.

“The British Secret Service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB.”
 - Clive James
 

The KGB or is it the FSB…(I think they’re still KGB) has been accused of killing people with radiation and I begin to wonder how incorrigible and dedicated these guys are. My cousin thinks Litvinenko was too nosy and having been an ex-KGB should have known better. I was befuddled with the remark and could not even when I knew I should, find a better answer to justify why Mr. Litvinenko felt he should carry on doing whatever it was that ultimately led to his demise. Anyway for me the big news was “what is the name of that radioactive material?” It is so ear itching it can kill someone from farther than the agent itself. But seriously the security breaches in the UK are becoming quite, if not yet alarming, irritating: from bombs to threats of bombs; to liquid explosives; to gaseous radiation.

Still harping about insecurity, here in Nigeria I just read the vice-president temporarily moved out of the presidential villa citing security concerns. In a country with very alarming security concerns, the vice-president had better stay put at the Villa where it was reported he has about 200 security personnel. So…what else is happening? Well I got a text message one night asking me to appear for a test the following day in Lagos. No problem. Infact good news you may say. But the worrisome part is that I used to live six, seven hours from Lagos but now it is twelve, fourteen hours by road. So my point is don’t the recruiters know that this is a very large nation? Just asking.

And so, for the most important issue of the week. What for Heaven’s sake is happening to Arsenal FC? They can’t seem to win a match when Mr. Wenger has assembled almost potentially his best squad. Even though he may not accept it I believe something is wrong with his tactics. This is my blog and virtual “soap box” so I can pontificate, and opinionate. Mr. Wenger should stop playing one striker upfront and if he must play that way, he should keep Van Persie on the right hand side of midfield. Wow, got that off my chest.

Sirwebs.

“We are all on death row.” – Tuface Idibia (Grass to Grace)

I am not an avowed  champion of Nigerian music even though I must confess that in the last couple of years the music industry like the rest of the entertainment sector has become so revitalized that our music and musicians are recognized all over the continent. Talented people like Tuface Idibia have even been acknowledged outside the continent with awards and recognitions.

Tuface, who recently released a sophomore album, has once again proved that he is not a one off guy and now seemingly has matured in his music to take on serious socio-political issues. Listening to his album over Xmas was an exhilarating venture moreso as I watched with disdain the politicians messing themselves up. So a refrain of Idibia’s “e be like say dey wan tell us wetin we never hear before” is such an apt documentation of people’s feelings towards political campaigns. What have most of the politicians done in the past eight years apart from “to carry money go France.” Even with my limited experience, I sincerely believe that I can perform more than a lot of the political office holders. One can get so worked up and angry at the waste of our country that like Tuface you can say “their looting no dey give us assurance.”

Amidst all the hustle and bustle of yuletide; all the suffering and weeping of petroleum products scarcity and the uncertainty of an unknown year spread before us, remember “ma guy na your eye u go sharpen because e be like say e don dey happen…” but like my pastor and Tuface says “As u see me so Olodumare don bless me.”

Chineke Meee, the boy is good. Kudos brother: one love.

An Article presented to The Economist as entry for the April, 2007 Marjorie Deanne Internship .

As the clock winds down on the government of President Olusegun Obasanjo, critics are divided over the success or otherwise of his anti corruption crusade but one thing is certain he has transformed the banking sector consequently reviving the public’s faith in banks and giving the financial sector a much needed fresh blood.

Currently, Nigeria has 25 banks – a result of mergers, acquisitions and the proscription of nearly a dozen – from the staggering 89 institutions prior to the banking reforms. Most importantly, the banks now boast a minimum capital requirement of N25 billion ($195million). A not so staggering amount in the International market place but for a country as used to failed banks as much as failed governments, it is a huge leap in the right direction. Analysts are keen to point out that the combined size of the 25 banks are just about the same with the leading banks in South Africa, the only economy bigger than Nigeria’s in Africa. But the N25 billion is just the first rung of the ladder. The banks in Nigeria are mandated to continually upgrade their minimum capital base. The idea is that gradually the country will have ‘mega banks’ that can compete favourably anywhere across the globe.

In turning around Nigeria’s “archaic” economy into a modern one, President Obasanjo has relied on ‘expatriate’ Nigerians like ex finance minister, Mrs Okonjo-Iweala who came from the World Bank. However she had resigned after being moved to the foreign Affairs job and subsequently relieved of her position as the head of the Nigerian Economic Summit, an economic Think Tank comprised of top Nigerian CEO’s and businessmen. But the Central Bank Chief, Prof Charles Soludo was plucked from one the Nigerian universities and he has put into practice some of his scholarly theories. Apart from jacking up the paltry capital base needed to previously operate a bank by N23 billion, he has also gone on to restructure the banking sector paying close attention to regulatory standards (most strategic with Nigeria’s infamous corruption reputation), and even braved the powerful muslim Northern elite by removing contentious Arabic script in the recent redesign of the country’s currency.

The increase in the minimum capital base of the country’s banks, the second stage of which has just commenced forced the banks to seek capital through IPO’s. This singular act has tremendously increased the activity and prominence of the stock exchange in Lagos and awoken the investment spirit of Nigerians. In a country notorious for high poverty, high unemployment and the abundance of churches which attract members with the gospel of miraculous prosperity, Nigerians have currently taken their fate literally into their hands by buying up the advertised shares.

And so as the government of Obasanjo prepares to exit, the banks have re-entered the capital markets, furiously searching for more public funds to continue the increase to mega status. While the president who has made much ado about his reform programmes not only in finance and economy but also in the education sector, campaigns actively to get his party’s candidate for president into power during this April’s general elections in order, according to him, to guarantee the continuation of the good work, some astute Nigerians may instead be furiously canvassing for funds to invest in some of the more than two dozen banks downtown. Maybe the giant is finally shaking up?

The winning contribution to the Save our Community Africa organised world environment day essay contest.

A concern for the environment has now taken the front burner in today’s political and social discourse. Concern over the environment is no longer viewed as alarmist. Increasing evidence about the effects of pollution on the environment and the human population and the emergency over the increasingly depleting natural resources of our earth has compelled all countries of the world whether rich or poor, to now become acutely conscious of our environment and the need to keep it healthy.

The destruction of the earth’s composition is as a result of myriad causes chief of which are the activities of man caused largely by massive industrialization and over-population of the human species. Consequently, the degraded environment becomes unhealthy both for human beings and the sustainability of the entire ecosystem. An unhealthy environment therefore, is an environment which has undergone changes to its natural state that instead of been able to uphold the flourishing of flora and fauna becomes dangerous to such. However in this essay we will define an unhealthy environment as one that cannot sustain and as such becomes dangerous to the safety of human existence. Unfortunately unhealthy environments have been proliferating at an alarming rate as human activities in our villages, towns, cities, and countries continue to degrade the ecosystem.

It is not very difficult to isolate unhealthy environments. Science and knowledge has progressed so much that unwholesome areas of living can be identified with ease. Some of the indicators of unhealthy environments are polluted air and water bodies, erosion of land surfaces, illicit disposal of waste materials (including household, sewage and toxic elements). Others are over population, scorch earth farming practices like overgrazing and uncontrolled deforestation to make way for farmland.

A community in which the water bodies have become polluted is an unhealthy one because this raises the risk and incidence of water borne diseases like cholera and river blindness. This scenario is played out in numerous villages and cities around the country and the world at large. Water bodies which are used for drinking and have served as such for very many years are polluted with effluent, solid waste and in Nigeria, frequently by refuse dumps.

During the farming season communities are seen to relentlessly persist with the practice of bush burning to clear farmlands. This activity is unhealthy for the environment because burning releases great amounts of carbon emissions into the atmosphere, kills soil micro and macro organisms and devastates the land in such a manner that it usually takes many years for the land to recover. This practice also alters the habitat by fostering the growth of hardy fire-resistant flora some of which are not natural to a particular ecosystem but flourish when its natural inhibitors are removed permanently. Unhealthy environments caused by air pollution have been increasing as people become richer and can afford cars. Vehicular transportation has been credited with causing a great percentage of air pollution. The health hazards attributed to unhealthy air quality is estimated to run into trillions of dollars globally. Some of the ailments associated with this distortion in the atmosphere are lung and respiratory diseases like asthma and bronchitis which scientists acclaim has been on the rise. Air pollution arising from vehicular emissions and heavy industrialization which send huge quantities of carbon dioxide and hydrocarbon emissions into the atmosphere have been squarely blamed for the green house effect and as a result the heating up of the globe which is melting the polar ice caps, has increased sea levels and forced the shift towards more environmentally friendly means of powering vehicles like hydrogen fuels and hybrid electric cell batteries. Air pollution as a leading cause of unhealthy environments have raised so much concern that environmental scientists believe it can have so much negative impact on the globe affecting even civilization itself.

Another ready pointer to identifying unhealthy environments come communities is the negative effect or fallouts of industrialization. In our country today, we are not new to stories about the devastation of communities and the environment by oil spills from petroleum pipelines, dumping of non-biodegradable chemicals and waste materials, smog from industrial furnaces and engines. Such practices (sometimes caused by accidents) destroy aquatic life and food sources, deoxidize water bodies and deplete nutrients from them, while aiding the proliferation of dangerous aquatic plants and acidify the soil. These conditions make farmlands infertile and in many cases the minerals are taken up by the plants and pass on to the body when the plants are eaten.

From the foregoing it is clear that no matter whether it is land, water or air that becomes polluted and as such unhealthy, the end result is that the health of man is compromised and the quality of life reduced because our happy existence is tied to that of the environment. Scientists claim that of the many ailments that bother people more than a few are triggered by living in unhealthy environments. Yet it is irreconcilable that Man refuses to heed these warnings and goes ahead to further jeopardize the already fragile ecosystem when it is our species (Man) that will lose the most from any environmental disaster. These notwithstanding there are solutions to environmental problems in our communities.

The first and foremost solution to unhealthy environments/communities is a change in attitude.  People must become reoriented to develop a sense of responsibility and respect for the environment. Clearly, while in the quest of exploiting the natural resources to raise standards of living, care must be taken not to damage the environment and when it inadvertently becomes damaged consideration must be taken to control the environmental degradation. Social scientists now talk about environmental communication as a potent means to solve the problems of unhealthy attitude and practices towards environmental issues.

Environmental communication here is an information effort from governments and non-governmental organizations and the media to enlighten the citizens on how best to live in harmony with the environment. Such an endeavour has taken root in the developed world and citizens of such countries are now environmentally conscious and understand issues like recycling, renewable energy resources, carbon miles and footprints.

Another solution is legislation to protect the environment. Environmental laws that control man made pollution and that seek to protect the natural resources from misuse. Currently there are such existing laws but the greater need is for better enforcement and greater consistency and integration with other laws that address environmental concerns.

Non-governmental agencies, United Nations organizations, environmentalists, Green parties and politicians and celebrities should support and stand for environmental causes in public, lobby for environmental protection and be examples to facilitate the general public imbibe healthy environmental ethics.

As we grapple with increasingly unhealthy communities and environments we must understand that our planet Earth is the only one known to sustain life in the solar system and so we must protect it from the ravages of carbon emissions, acid depositions, ozone layer destruction, loss of wild lands, soil erosion, water pollution, illicit disposal of refuse waste and other toxic substances.