|
serubawon (m)
|
I lost my wife almost 2 years ago and I'm trying to make a new life for me and my 2 kids. My late wife and I had a fantastic relationship (and i really mean fantastic). I've found out that I'm not really interested in starting a new relationship, even though everybody tells me i should. I'm 37, have a very good job and very protective about my children. Right now, I build my life around them. Is there anybody who has had a similar experience? I would really like to now how you were able to overcome it, because I'm not finding it particularly easy, especially with the fact that women have almost turned me into a product that has to be purchased at all costs. Right now, i am practically terrified of women (based on experience) and I find that a bit disturbing. Hope some people could help me out. Thanks[/b]
|
|
|
|
|
|
ikamefa (f)
|
I lost my wife almost 2 years ago and I'm trying to make a new life for me and my 2 kids. My late wife and I had a fantastic relationship (and i really mean fantastic). am sorry about your loss , its not easy am not a widow but i have seen one of my relations go through this. women have almost turned me into a product that has to be purchased at all costs. Right now, i am practically terrified of women (based on experience) and I find that a bit disturbing. Hope some people could help me out. Thanks[/b]
this part had me in stitches "  ". i know its not easy with your loss et al, why don't u concentrate on raising your kids, with time maybe u will get over your loss and u would have found the right woman for u. hey u can't but come in contact with desperado's out there, we have female desperado's as well as male desperado's. |
|
|
|
|
|
Ndipe (m)
|
May God give you the fortitude to bear this loss in Jesus Name, Amen.
Take heart. don't rush into any new relationship. Give yourself some time to grief before getting into a new relationship. I wish you the best.
|
|
|
|
|
|
kiki (f)
|
i'm really sorry bout ur loss and i know its hard to replace a loved one but trust me u gon get over it. It might take a long time but u gon be aiite
|
|
|
|
|
|
Remmzy (m)
|
To loose a loved one turns mood sour  but you need to get along. My point is Take care of your two kids because thats the wish of a dieing mum.
Don't rush into any relationship , your kids will make you know the real woman {if you want to re-marry} if only you can read the signs.Signs are all over us!
|
|
|
|
|
|
casper (m)
|
omo sorry oo,
but if i were you i would just get a househelp of about 15 or 16 years old and let him or her take care of my children and never woryy about their needs as in home chores and then continue my life
|
|
|
|
|
|
olalekanhs (m)
|
i lost my mother 2 years iago i was just 16 years old and my father is a widower and believe me your children want ur undivided love at 37 u should know that the best thing to do for ur kid is to be a father and a mother at desame time bacause a new wife bring problem i know u have desire but believe me marriage is not the answer.as we see in nigerin films we know what STEP MOTHERS can do if u really love u kids u will prove u love them unconditionally by giving ur all to fit in a mothers place>God will be ur strenght
|
|
|
|
|
|
AOsGrl
|
hmmm Don't let people rush you into something you're not ready for.
Like everyone else has said. Your children are suffering from this loss as well. Please concentrate on taking care of them and paying them attention first. And pray to God Always that if it is his will he should send you a mate that is worthy of you and your kids.
|
|
|
|
|
|
bagoma (f)
|
i'm so sorry about your loss.
but don't worry so much as things will definetely get better and everything will take shape soon. the pain will ease and i bet you'll forge on in life. the happiness of your kids is top priority now.
be not anxious for anything. in time all will fall into place.
keep your head up, looking on to God for greater times/things to come.
|
|
|
|
|
|
curvyice (f)
|
hey so sorry bout ur loss, wouldnt exactly say i noe how u feel but hey i noe peeps that have rocked the same boat ure rocking. u deserve to be happy so give yourself a chance to noe happiness again. and hey ur kids need u now more than ever, with all ur sences, listen to ur kids. and hey let ur heart lead to to what exactly u should do,
grace and peace.
|
|
|
|
|
|
freelance (m)
|
I am really sorry for what has happened to you, but i must confess that life is not fair and that is why we all need the favour and grace of God. i guess your kids are still young and i think the first thing you should do now is to get closer to God and also build up your children to the level that you can be proud of them Getting another wife now is to out of the way because all your attention should be on your kids and on no one else. Wish you all the best and by the grace of God it's well. safe
|
|
|
|
|
|
serubawon (m)
|
I was really encouraged by the responses I got. Thanks a lot to all those who contributed. Well, truly speaking, i'm not ready for a relationship now and don't think i'll be ready for some time to come. As some people said, my kids are all that i live for now and just seeing them everyday makes it worth living. i honestly don't know if i can ever meet anyone like their mom and even if i do, i don't know how if i'll be able to let go of her and start re-building again. As a lady said the desperados actually exist and they are really making my life pretty miserable right now. Once again, thanks for the thoughts and advice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oracle (m)
|
I'm sorry to hear the sad news and i hope God keeps, guides and protects you.
All i have to say is whatever you do please take things easy because this is something emotional
|
|
|
|
|
|
rockhaven (m)
|
we must be conscious of the wordings of our marital vows.it is till death do us part.we must learn to accept kids deserve to be happiest and we also deserves to be companied and be happiest.2 years is long enogh for you to move on.that you can ventillate this issue means it has become an issue.you are a man and men often cannot go on for a longtime without sexual expression.it is better for you to marry.there are women who you can marry and who may even do more for your kids than their mum.prayerfully look for one of these compassionate woman who may even be a widow too and go on with your life.you have a right to enjoy your life as well as your kids.god gave you the wife and god in his sovereignity has taken her away.refusing to marry cus u ar still sorrowing is you questioning the wisdom of god .god told samuel,how long will you continue to sorrow over saul since i have disannoited him.you may wish to call me for further counselling.marriage is esentially a covenant affair that legally ends with death of ones spouse.from then on you are free from the law of that marriage.
segun 08033043242
|
|
|
|
|
|
ayomifull (f)
|
What a loss! a dear wife! Sorry about the loss. Be strong and take solace in the Lord, give your kids all the attention they need now as i suppose they are young kids. I don't know what to say you re only 37 OMG! May God give you strenght to carry on. Please pray to God to give u directions and also speak with marriage counselors, this could be very hard. May God be with you and take care of the kids.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
olatos (f)
|
@ Poster, its quite pathetic, Ur story is just like my familys case(we were just two kidz too), My Dad has gone through this, and i can tell u that it wasnt eazy, My mum was d most sweetest woman that you could ever come across, (I never knew her, cz i was just 3 years old and my younger sister was 7 months), It really hit him hard in d Face, cz my Mum was hale and hearty, but den came along family members, telling my Dad 2 re-marry, hmmmmmmm, we saw [b]HELL in d hands of my step-mother, But we thank God that 2day we came out aliveeeeeeeeeeee, It wasnt an easy road,  , PLEASE, i would beg u in the name of God not 2 re-marry for now,cz of ur kidz, like a yoruba adage says, Ko si eni to le se bi Iya eni fun ni, i.e theres no woman who will b like their mother, I pray that God will comfort u on every side, its well my brother |
|
|
|
|
|
serubawon (m)
|
It's been a while since i've been on this thread. It's really nice of all the people that have contributed one way or the other. Well, fear not. I'm not rushing into marriage or anything. I owe my kids some quality time with their dad. Also, i actually posted this thread in 2006, so i'm actually 39 now. It's funny how time flies. It's been difficult, but God has been faithful. We'll see how the story continues. Thanks everyone.
|
|
|
|
|
|
stillwater (f)
|
I wish you good luck  |
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
