Would you rather spare the rod and spoil the child

Let's glide through the book of proverbs shall we ?

Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

OMO IBO:

i'd hate to hit a child but will not hesitate to leave a dent on his/her mouth if i really have to.

Is the child your size? How can you back slap a child? oti o!!!

@post
No, I will NOT spare him/her. . . .but slapping my child in the face. . . .God no!!

H202, how was your finals?

Shits and giggles


The best is yet to come

You were giggling while taking them? hmmmm

They weren't so bad.

It shouldn't. Since you studied till . . . .am

Well, goodluck on the results

And your flat ass left me hanging.  Talking about, "ooooh I have to talk to my friend"
The Bread of Life will pencil in the results himself.

H2O2:

And your flat ass left me hanging. Talking about, "ooooh I have to talk to my friend"
The Bread of Life will pencil in the results himself.

Lol, am sorry, I told you. [i]You [/i]left me hanging "ooohhh, I have to go to sleep"
And I needed help. Pkele

Simple answer for me. Nope. I would not spare the rode what.so.ever. Spoil the child? Never.

Ebony-Silk:

Lol, am sorry, I told you. [i]You [/i]left me hanging "ooohhh, I have to go to sleep"
And I needed help. Pkele

it's okay.

i won't be hitting my kids except am pushed to a limit.

bawomolo:

i won't be hitting my kids except am pushed to a limit.

iro nla!! what if your 3yr old wants to go to church like the rest of the boys

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tpia:

the rod doesnt have to be a literal one.

Exactly. That is why I will never spare it.

Ebony-Silk:

iro nla!! what if your 3yr old wants to go to church like the rest of the boys

what sane 3yr old kid would want to go to church rather than watch some adult swim. that young Arrow does indeed deserve to be spanked for misplaced priorities

I don whip my first born in the past but I never had to do it again because I did it early on in his life and, since then, he realised that daddy is not one to be meesed about with. His younger one also realised that from watching him. I dont have any need to use any strong hand again because I only tell my children something once.

My kids dont jump around in the supermarket or store because as soon as i tell them to stay beside me, they do so. It makes my life more peaceful

I won't spare the rod of any kind, be it hand, belt, whip, tree branch, what have you. Reason being that you cannot rationalize with a child. That is the problem I see with alot of US. families (mainly whites). They try to rationalize with their children at a young age. I remember one time I was at the grocery store buying food. A little girl was begging her mom for something and her mom said no. The girl started throwing a temper tantrum. Then the mom started trying to rationalize with the girl, giving reasons as to why she can't/won't get it for her.

She was there trying to rationalize for what seemed like about a minute or so. Never once touched the girl (not even to pick her up so she could stand). Black families were looking and commenting. I overheard one black guy say something like (and this is not word for word), "what the hell? What the f**k she doing just talkin to the girl?" another black lady commented saying something like, "uh-uh, I ain't havin' nuhn uh that wit my children. No sir." Coincidentally, the children of the black families were just standing there beside their parents quietly watching the girl and the mother. By the puzzled look on their faces someone could make the assertion that they were wondering why the woman had not hit the child yet.

There are countless other stories, and it just goes to show that you can't rationalize with children. So I will not be sparing any rod(s).

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tpia:

and yet the jails are filled with black folks.

Funny how that white child will grow up with better anger management skills than many of the black kids.

Unless what we're saying here is black kids need to be handled with a stronger hand than white kids?

Maybe I didn't say enough. . . I don't see any problems with utilizing the rod(s), so long as you cannot rationalize with the child. Once the child gets to the point where the parent/guardians can rationalize with it, then the rod(s) should not have to be in active use. I don't know what exactly contributes to why so many black people are in jail, and I don't really care, because they aren't my people. What I know is that you cannot rationalize with children while they are so young. As children, punishment is how they learn. Not with soft words and rationalization.

I do think though that alot of black people are in jail, not because of anger management skills. It's more along the lines of affiliation and how they act on those affiliations. I haven't really read any statistics or taken any surveys, so I don't really have anything to back this assertion except for the population of black people that I'm familiar with.

This is for you all who really took this serious, we really dont know we sometimes help people and families with what we say here, here in the States, the kids are something else, dont get me wrong, not all of them, but most of them, Why? Because they rod was spared and the child is spoilt

I would neva because if I do the child will think the bad stuff they do is okay and wen de r grown and de do sumthin dat lands dem in serious trouble wat will i say, u kno

tpia:

and yet the jails are filled with black folks.

Funny how that white child will grow up with better anger management skills than many of the black kids.

Unless what we're saying here is black kids need to be handled with a stronger hand than white kids?

according to this every african should be in jail, because i know we beat the crap out of our kids, sheesh we invented beating. but seeing that our kids do better in school and at work, i don't see how this statement of yours could be true.

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jany49:

This is for you all who really took this serious, we really don't know we sometimes help people and families with what we say here, here in the States, the kids are something else, don't get me wrong, not all of them, but most of them, Why? Because they rod was spared and the child is spoilt

considering the state of Nigerian and the state of most western countries, i doubt spanking has really made a positive different. you think your neighborhood agbero or ray-ray on the block didn't get smacked?

I think that some small children need a LIGHT spanking at times.  But I don't feel that children should be spanked past the age of 5.  I think a spanking can be given with love.  I probably will not spank my children, but I will never say never. Some people "beat" their children. This doesn't build healthy self-esteem.

Its those abusive parents who make spankings an issue.  abusive parent + spanking = azz kickings

My father spanked me once when I was seven. I learned two great lessons that day.

1) A Big, black man called my daddy should not be messed with and 2) If I am going to do bad things, hide them.

Let me first say I have no children of my own that I birthed. I have assisted in rearing countless children as I used to work in a foster care agency and I had three step children when I was married that I raised. I believe that there should be a balance between the physical rod and the virtural rod of correction (for lack of a better term). I, like other posters, have noticed that in the US, blacks administer physical discipline more than other races, but the jails are filled with our kids and young adults. I believe many times that we beat the children after the child has already learned bad behaviors. When the child is young, every thing is "cute" to some parents and then they want to correct when out in public after the child has run wild at home. This will not do.

If you correct a child, whether physically, or through other serious discipline methods, WHILE THE CHILD IS YOUNG, you can avoid much with children as they get older. Let the child know you are not playing at the outset, and you can be pleased with the results. Bend the sap while it is young. It will not break. The most important thing in raising children is to be consistent with administering CONSEQUENCES for bad actions. If the child knows there will surely be trouble for bad behavior, they will obey.

Let me first say I have no children of my own that I birthed. I have assisted in rearing countless children as I used to work in a foster care agency and I had three step children when I was married that I raised. I believe that there should be a balance between the physical rod and the virtural rod of correction (for lack of a better term). I, like other posters, have noticed that in the US, blacks administer physical discipline more than other races, but the jails are filled with our kids and young adults. I believe many times that we beat the children after the child has already learned bad behaviors. When the child is young, every thing is "cute" to some parents and then they want to correct when out in public after the child has run wild at home. This will not do.

Exactly, I completely agree.

I agree with you, everything you said points to Spare the Rod and spoil the Child

prittigrrr:

Let me first say I have no children of my own that I birthed. I have assisted in rearing countless children as I used to work in a foster care agency and I had three step children when I was married that I raised. I believe that there should be a balance between the physical rod and the virtural rod of correction (for lack of a better term). I, like other posters, have noticed that in the US, blacks administer physical discipline more than other races, but the jails are filled with our kids and young adults. I believe many times that we beat the children after the child has already learned bad behaviors. When the child is young, every thing is "cute" to some parents and then they want to correct when out in public after the child has run wild at home. This will not do.

Couldn't agree more. My mum is the same way with my younger brother, letting him run wild at home so then when they're out in public he wont behave and she wonders why?