Greatest Rapper On Nairaland: Volume 3

The fixtures are as following:-

Monday 29th Dec. 2008 deadline: 23:59 hrs GMT

A-40 Vs X Fio
Ibime Vs Knife
Chamotex Vs Sauron
Crude Vs Old Sync


Tuesday 30th Dec. 2008 deadline: 23:59 hrs GMT

DBR vs Naijafan
DJ Jeffy Vs Menike
Gametag Vs Mailmalc
Brash Vs Worldbest




Gentlemen the rules are:-

8 bars 16 lines per opponent

No biting, if you are caught you will be disqualified - No Canibus/Mode9/Africanhiphop chopping!

marks will be awarded for Punchlines, creativity,metaphors and perfect rhymes - please make sense, no '96 Mase/Rasquee flows expecting high ratings pls.

All spits will be quoted by judges to prevent netcees from modifying their lines - double check for typos and intentions before stoning the rock with your egg, we only return your shells.

No Parents dissing this is for fun please guys - Respect begets respect, even in defeat.

Late submission will attract -30% of total score - Walahi, no favoritism, GMT timing.
No Multiple user personality. ie. i am mukina , i register sukulu to support myself - date of registration, number of reasonable posts will determine the quantity/quality of support

The winners of each battle will battle each other until we have the final two - knockout. There is no shame in defeat and there isn't much justice in the world, no bad belle.

The judges and the rest of the music section/whole forum can also partake in the voting - online voting can easily be rigged, you'll be needing all the support you can get therefore invite all your friends in and out of NL.

If a netcee failed to show up, his opponent will automatically be in round 2 - automatic workover 12 hours after deadline, -30% within 12 hours after deadline.

Let's stick by the rules so we have some organisation. - Where there is no law, there is no offence

TIME - Due to the different time zones by some of the netcees, we are sticking to the GMT timing and consideration to those with diff times - 24 hours is plenty of time, if you cant do it in 24 hours, you won't do jack in 24 days. Wish you all the best, remember, it's JUST a game!

Here's my verse against Knife. . . .


I’m very polite, I’ll show dude-some-respect/
I’ll even pull his chair out. . . . with a noose-on-his-neck/
You bore-us-with-weak-text/ Nairaland won’t fall-for-ya B.S/
So voters’ll give you the W. . . . along-with-the T.F.!
This Niger-Delta nigga be taking women hostage/
but if ya chick says she’s tied up. . . believe, she’s into bondage!/
Her cookie jar is open and we all-been-in-it/ even Sauron-hit-it/
She got a V.I.P pass. . . . at the abortion-clinic!!/
Lets determine-facts/ Skill is what this urchin-lacks /
I’d give him a 'taste of his medicine'….but I couldn’t write a verse-that-wack!/
You need proper ventilation/ Your lyrics are suffocating /
Got ya lungs and chest aching. . . .'cus my rhymes are breathtaking!/
So ‘pay’ homage to a vet. . . and bring my cheque/
Before I choke you with a phoneline. . . . and ‘wring’ your neck/
Ask you rhetorical questions, so trying to answer-my-diss/
first requires-this-kid to stop and quietly-think . . . . "Am I a fag or a bitch?"

Intro; Hey It;s still Cavern Castle Tower Rap Control Centre. . . U na mean dowg?!  Hahahahahahahahahaha Nairaland stand up, it's some palicide i'ma about to commit in hurr. . . . .let's go. . . . .

Yo,


I'm the lynx that'll invoke jinx on this Old thing n watch him Sink
Cut his links, have him lynched, n grin at him like it's high jinks
"Gimme watcha got?" Son i can't manage your voluminous gabbage
Skip adage, your prezzie'll be Scroll of bandage laced on Band-Aid
I'm a Sage, at ma lyrical age, u murkin me is a whole lotza mirage
U's ravaged because i'm so savage, do somthn but don't rattle ma cage
It's a new phase, it'll take Oldman eternity to synchronize with us
Listen up cuzz, runnin the light than pop at jake is your only recourse
This pansy mistook the mic for some dicks, so he grab it n sucks
How he gon deliver when he's so verile n as weak as he comes(Cums)
Under his very nose i'ma School the pupil out of his eye
He go red faced, like a fancy spec, he's gon wear the black eye
To stop ma overhead torrid spit from balding u, son get a topee
Can i borrow u a vowel, or is your tongue permanently torpid?
Watch it, ma multis are grubby n gruffly set to forfeit your lyrical gutsy
Next time he this lame bunny moves is on a gurney out of this tourney


it's Crude ya'll. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

@ Crude

Am placing this flame on you because you forgot you're highly inflamable/
You are STOPABLE, Now I prove that  you're just a turntable/
Think about this Crude, stop being rude, because nemesis' just sound good/
I strip you nude, am battling, not ready to make you feel so hood/
Know what you should do, because I affect your NL future, am tha voodoo/
Now, NL can see you, they ready to mock you, sorry boy, that's life dude/
Check the way, I raze your prowess, am grounding you flaw-less/
Sounding little bit lawless, but Crude, just pray you be like me if Jah bless/
I don't caress battle, I fcuk warriors up, especially those in infantry/
I keep you out of face, you aint worth living cool, feel cool in pantry/
Am much more than a dandy, I flaunt my lyrical riches, you brokeass/
Tell me you are kidding, because now you bleeding, even as a carcass/
Am not just the best, but the best that always pass the test/
I pay you in cowries, because your style is outdated, retire and rest/
Am the cultivator, important like harvesters and tractors, you's a pest/
Take this pollution-causing netcee away, NL, Sync wont pity who comes next/

Let us continue,

Just got a call sayin I got war tagged wit my biggest fan
Leave dudes insane wit vodka, nigga come kiss my pam
Fire the ruger let your brain's spray the wall's, blood dropin' on ya,
Jeffy more vicious than a ciger" take note's Menike's about to school ya
Lyrically my bars of metaphors are bigger than a noah's ark
I slice n' dish Jeffy out as a specialty for dinner call it a panic attack
Look man, I'll re'arange ya face like you got knocked by thousands of G Forces
Ain't nothin unique bout this fag , his only as original as his Gay force is
Grab an elevator, your shitt lines needs to be lifted up
With that cheap ass flow, you're just another stupid thrifted mess
My lines spits more fire balls than a satan's sex life
Ya lines wack, similar to a terror squad wit out a big pun in its life
An uppercut will send 'White over ya head' like the Ku Klux Klan
Your a joke, menike will end you in a round so search for anotha plan
This is a morgue filling flow, don't violate my rhymes killing scrolls
Or Ill restrict your lyrical privileges like your voice box went on un willing parole

Ok brash lets do this

The only reason you flow better and juicy,'cus you got  slacked female orifice
Am a vet mc you's a faggot,hands up, on ya heels,  'cus i just cocked 'em uzi
Bitch,You own noob ranks,doesnt make you dope,u better behind closed-doors
Psycho switch mic 2 to dildo,veteran cock rocker eat those-balls
Hommie am hardcore not sexually,swallow ya destiny, damn, felt nothin'
Listen up,technically i spit fermented venoms,feed ya some, health-keep-droppin'
Am a slayer,you aint got no damn flavor ya wackness is self-defined
Put the heat on ya dome,brash diagonosed, he's now deaf 'n blind
Note:My multies leave ya feelin' more hands like Lagos moobs in action
Ya chick got empty pocket but she rich in c'um bought her boobs on auction
Faggot,i rain fireballs on ya game,leave you treating more rash(brash)
You'r ill? the only sickness i see you got originated from iya sikira's nyash
Worldbest repin' dopeness,ma ish? son i don't recommend
Why? punches cache in memory plus 'em lyrical VAT(Virus,Adware,Trojan) included
Leave this cat with no head,spank him now am yellin' pinyata
He couldn't construct a vowel even if he aged reading encarta

@A-40
Ain't this the same dude i "chewed'' for "bittin" a line on forum games/
alright son, no more games/ time u get it straight like no more gays/
what a mismatch/ u'r not even 'suit'-able to pull a "tie" from this man/
fcuk discounts/ u'll still remain a broke homo even if your ass is on free-lance/
on mics i'm vicious/ i spit verses like scriptures/
A-40 loses/ mailmalc be "taking" more wins than crude taking pictures/
lonely-dude/ keep wanking hard since your d!ck is your only tool/
show me a grin and i won't hesitate to leave you wit a broken tooth/
u don't flex muscles/ u static like a national monument/
A-40 is just an empty threat like a sniper wit no-bullet/
i assemble sick rhymes to abruptly erupt you and your whole caucus/
u still won't spit sick even if u have an inflamation of the oesophagus/
perhaps u wer hopin to absorb ma illness like some Peter Petrelli's sh !t/
but i make my points clear (Claire)/ regeneratin 'head' shots on your achilles 'heel'/
malc burst lava infected flows to put this man on fire like Denzel/
on this joint i stay Cool like L L/ A-40 says farewell to N L/

@mailwank
I go to war against you babylon's like rastafari's or selassie
On the paper trail like T.I,I'm bout my B.I on my own island like V.I
Go against me? nigga you'd be getting an I.V in ICU/I see u
Suited in a see-through casket leaking like baskets
Pastor holding funeral masses
Cemetary rap my closet full of ravens and bats that feed on your corpses
Battle me with extra pre-caution,this is extortion i stick you up for all of your portion
I'm IRS robbing y'all in broad daylight your not that bright
Malc's got cerebral palsy acting all antsy your gay ass is sweeter than pansies
Talking about wanking? Malc sounds strangely similar, insanely killing ya,got you niggaz Daz-ed like Dillinger
I spit that yardcore shit like a bornjamerican,but truly african i kick it like a seasoned veteran
Clean as a whistle my rhymes more lethal than bizzle's
Ma flow too sinister i stack cash like a corrupt minister
Killing with the double entendres, nigga check my rap ensemble
Too bad Mail-wanc's style is totally sampled i ll blow out your candles c.o.s homie this is so not your birthday
Its more like your death-day i'd have your organs for sale on e-bay

My Hit-Back @ Sauron

Yo! This git is an error let me quickly tipex him out of the picture
He been dancing to his dol-drum since Mukina pop up this fixture

I did'nt come(come) quickly because i aint sterile, now here's your ill-fate
Rubbish?! u produce 'em in multiple like u's garbage template

I aint gotta call u a Fuccker cuss u's the one who always get fuccked
Son, your lame flow, lyrics n lines wont get u nowhere but "STOP"

16 globules they said, n i'ma dowse Sauron's lyrical conflagration
No doubt, he's a step away from phoney, he's a friggin animation

Fa' sho u's reffered to as a rider, cus u amazingly ride on dicks
Feather weight, i'ma lift u with a flick, mahn i don't need no derrick

High time u had shut eyes dowg i'm putting u off like i got the switches
Man don't make me add Crow to ma bars, they stick to me like leeches

He's all taut up in his wife's leggins, that's the only time he's tight
I'ma help by stickin me leg in his lame ass, son don't nurture no fright

In this game u're too wet behind the ears son throw in the towel
I heard him screamin silently "There aint no light for u at the end of this tunnel"

Phew!

He's getting pale and he's in a mess, he's frail-n-in-distress.
You aint riding, I'm exposing your folly like your e-mail-address.

My boots kick Crude, my frees continue to bruise, changing views like bad attitudes
Lifting this dumb dude through the roof, to the point where he needs a parachute

You acting bold, but your bars are freezing-cold, I'm hotter-than-flames-from-hell
Chill y'all mouth dude, the only thing CRUDE-about-you, is how your name-is-spelled

Blastin at this CRUDE fag & timing the match like a score-board
Closest you will EVER get to a 'star" is clicking 'shift 8' on your key-boards!!

Punk i'm hot, you are watery with flow, stop biting my quotes,
His life is a joke, crashing his bike on the poles, the only time he's tight with a post!!

Crude oil?. . . . .i'll pour u in a TANK!. . . .this "autistic" nigga like to "DRAW BLANKS"
Ain't no "REDEMPTION" for this fag when he get his "ass rimmed" like Andy in "SHAW-SHANK"

Like "Peter North" u best come "EXTRA HARD". . . . .take ma advice when u get BORED.
Becuz the last time a dude was "above my level", the devil was an angel seated next to GOD

Nigga Crude, you will do a good job as an excellent global sod
But as an elite netcee or emcee, you’re just a total fraud.

Am sorry for not responding, if I'm still permitted, i I'll love to drop this./

@ DBR

Though I don't smoke isht, I will burn this unwanted dog like weed/
Think DBR, I aint a C-A-R, Never take me for a ride, Change your deed/
Am too traditional, Hip hop is mine, you can term it "MY VERNACULAR"/
But you aint something, lack posession 'because nothing about you is spectacular/
NL wanted the greatest, man, why are you aiming at being the lamest/
You is an elephant, but the motionless synthethic recently made -the latest/
My style aint about winning, It represent the attitude, the spirit and letters/
don't depend so much on the loss, even condoms break, you too be latex/
Am the battle, don't battle because you will only rattle, shake no more, dead man/
Am the full circle, you's a arc in the game, try calcu*** am the real bad man/
Dead Bad Rat, a.k.a DBR knows nothing about the biz, SYNC is the OLD CAT/
don't need the right data, because that'll discourage you, take a rest dummie, grow fat/
Am the lastman, the past men were slack men, I took over, watch your side man/
because You will soon feel the pains, better quit! Relax and watch from the sideline/
I commit the worst crime, I got many pissed off, because my tempo aint used for washing/
That's why am the decoy, I made you spit your best, so I bring the test, you still blushing/


NL only if that would still serve, I was off for ACADEMICS Purpose!

**** dusts off the rusty mic*****time to offload these bars of death from my USB before my boss catch me****but first, I gotta tweak a couple of lines for Chamotex*****Chamo, you ready?




I had lyrics, but the judges took the BEST AWAY/ thinking I wont REPLICATE. .
. . but my rhymes keep the light shining. . . . yours just de-‘GENERATE’!/

I’m inspired by the SLIGHTEST ASSUMPTION/ that retirement blinded my MIND TO ITS FUNCTIONS/
Just throw the MIC IN MY CIRCUMFERENCE. . . and I’ll ignite you like HYDROGEN BUNSENS!!/

I smack-this-bitch-in-written-text/ snap-his-limbs-and rip-his-neck/
Match-my-gift?. . . . you couldn’t ‘catch-my-drift’–with-fishing-nets!!/

Sauron FOLDED YOU OVER/ but you gave the judges more 'kickbacks' than 'LOADED HOLSTERS'/
I hope u bribed again . . . 'cus you couldn’t 'win free'. . . if you hosted SHOWS WITH 'OPRAH'!/

You couldn’t C I . . . with 101 ROMAN SOLDIERS/ I spit like POTENT COBRAS/
I could carry your weight. . . and your mate. . . on BROKEN SHOULDERS!/

I punch holes in you. . . like lecture NOTES IN FOLDERS/ he might flow like LOCOMOTIVES. . .
. . but my jetstream’ll leave ‘sun standing’. . . like a SOLAR SOLSTICE!/                                       (son standing)

HOLY MOSES!/ I’m the shit!. . . . so HOLD YA NOSES!/
When you spit, we hold our noses. . . . but only 'cus ya flow decomposes!!. . . .

And exposes ya halitosis/ and rancid dragon-breath/
Mouth odour make you Close-Up. . . but I smile freely. . . 'cus I’m Aqua-Fresh!!!/

This is Armageddon and someone’s ‘bout to get done,
Ibime don’t take this ish personal, it just had to get done.
DJ drop the beat, it’s time for his Crucifixion
This is another example of Lyrical assassination     

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me put an end to your misery, u choked trying to 'diss-me', im just another unsolved mystery
U got caught for rhyme lifting; he’s been busy pressing ‘Ctrl +C’ followed by ‘Ctrl +V’ on his ‘PC’

This dude is so ‘Lonely’ like ‘Akon’ cuzz he gets no action, so he got his arse-torn . . .
 . . by a DILDO that was strapped-on, now watch me ‘plug this hole’ (hoe) with ma lyrical ‘tampon’
Got ditched by his male companion, so now he munches pop-corn whilst watching gay-porn

Your flow is so weak like it’s out of shape; mine got u yelling “rape!” this nigger couldn’t escape
U’re a battlin disgrace, I hit d ‘backspace’ and leave u 'erased', a lyrical murder victim caught on tape

My flow encapsulates u majestically, infesting the memories I heavenly endeavour in, cleverly
U gon’ need psychotherapy cuzz after im done exerting all this energy with rhyme-ringing-melody. . .
 . . . you will be left with nothing but a sensation and a spine-tingling-memory

Call it ‘hammer time’, u can’t touch this, even if u had a baseball bat, u couldn’t even make a hit
Imma fracture your rhythm, bust your ear drums, making u dance ‘MAKOSSA’ to a ‘SLOW JAM’ beat

I spit slick quick sick script that'll leave u ripped; this dimwit spits shit that’ll get him kicked into a ditch
Ibime the pregnant orangutan, your bars warrant few consonants so imma throw some D’s on this bitch

Like JAY, im bringing the ‘GIFT and the CURSE’, don’t wana call u GAY but u rap like a ‘BITCH with a PURSE’
P.S - Y’all got me battling an immature amateur, im giving this ‘chick’ her first symptom of MENOPAUSE