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Sista (f)
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To allI attend a community college so I meet lots of Black Africans. I love them to death and for the most part they love me too, the men mostly. In my whole life I have had two sisters from Africa that I have had close relationships with. My first good friend, I met her at beauty school. She is a Nigerian From the Igbo tribe. She was a toughie but I understood her toughness because I too am a tough black woman. She tested me for a long time and I never faltered in her eye's, that is how we became close. I went to my first African wedding with her. I been to many African parties but the best one I ever been to was the one her mother gave in celebration of the new baby my friend had. The second sister I became close with is from Nigeria too. She is from Benin. She has lived in America for a long time and she has two children with an African American man. We became close quickly and we introduce our self to people as sisters. We hug each other when we first see each other and we hug each other and say 'I love you" before we depart. Having both of these women in my life has been a blessing.Here is where the problem comes in  When I am hanging out with my African male freinds on campus, and we see a female African from any tribe that they know, they introduce me to her, she rolls her eye's at me or she just does not look at me period. When she say's "hi" to me after the introduction, it is as if she does not want to speak or acknowledge me at all. At that point I just assume that maybe she is not comfortable. I squander for an opening and if she is wearing something nice, I will compliment her, I will smile as I am talking to her but I am not being a phony because I am happy. Still, she will not show any warmth towards me. She is not a girlfriend to any of these African men so I do not understand this attitude. Can someone tell me what that is about? I get the impression that some African sisters view African American sisters in the same way they view white women. They don't want white women to have any type of relationship with Black African men and they don't want Black American women to have any relationship with Black African men. The African sisters I became close with do not have a problem when we are in the presents of African men or men period. I don't want to assume that the other women are jealous. They are beautiful and intelligent as well, so they have nothing to be jealous of. I have seen some threads that in a negative way, compared black people to other black people. I hope that this thread does not become a thread for black people to come and make general comments about other black people. This is a thread that should promote some understanding amongst black women as a whole. I hope that we can stay on topic. As all can see, my hope did not come true. This topic has completely gone off and has become about the genes of African people. It won't do you any good to read the comments on th first two pages because after the first two pages, a new topic comes in and it stays on that topic. in. this link will take you right to where the new topic on African genes begins.
http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-21388.32.html
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Sista (f)
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To allI attend a community college so I meet lots of Black Africans. I love them to death and for the most part they love me too, the men mostly. In my whole life I have had two sisters from Africa that I have had close relationships with. My first good friend, I met her at beauty school. She is a Nigerian From the Igbo tribe. She was a toughie but I understood her toughness because I too am a tough black woman. She tested me for a long time and I never faltered in her eye's, that is how we became close. I went to my first African wedding with her. I been to many African parties but the best one I ever been to was the one her mother gave in celebration of the new baby my friend had. The second sister I became close with is from Nigeria too. She is from Benin. She has lived in America for a long time and she has two children with an African American man. We became close quickly and we introduce our self to people as sisters. We hug each other when we first see each other and we hug each other and say 'I love you" before we depart. Having both of these women in my life has been a blessing.Here is where the problem comes in When I am hanging out with my African male freinds on campus, and we see a female African from any tribe that they know, they introduce me to her, she rolls her eye's at me or she just does not look at me period. When she say's "hi" to me after the introduction, it is as if she does not want to speak or acknowledge me at all. At that point I just assume that maybe she is not comfortable. I squander for an opening and if she is wearing something nice, I will compliment her, I will smile as I am talking to her but I am not being a phony because I am happy. Still, she will not show any warmth towards me. She is not a girlfriend to any of these African men so I do not understand this attitude. Can someone tell me what that is about? I get the impression that some African sisters view African American sisters in the same way they view white women. They don't want white women to have any type of relationship with Black African men and they don't want Black American women to have any relationship with Black African men. The African sisters I became close with do not have a problem when we are in the presents of African men or men period. I don't want to assume that the other women are jealous. They are beautiful and intelligent as well, so they have nothing to be jealous of. I have seen some threads that in a negative way, compared black people to other black people. I hope that this thread does not become a thread for black people to come and make general comments about other black people. This is a thread that should promote some understanding amongst black women as a whole. I hope that we can stay on topic.
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nilla (f)
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To answer your question, Yes i think some African women dislike Black American women. You have pointed out some very important points the fact that you have 2 good african friends clearly shows that not all African women dislike Black American WomenI get the impression that some African sisters view African American sisters in the same way they view white women. They don't want white women to have any type of relationship with Black African men and they don't want Black American women to have any relationship with Black African men. this is true. Its almost as if they are being possesive right? Some of them do these because they think that the african men should be in a relationship with the african women because they have something in common. Others do these because they are being downright stereotypical and they probably think they are better than Black American Woman. You can see that there are different reasons why they are acting this way. But don't let it bother you, if you did not wrong them in any way. I think there wil lalways be this type of people. |
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adconline (m)
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You got to bear in mind that some Africans of different cultures do not easily interface with people of other cultures. You got to seek a middle or comfort zone to start a relationship. You mentioned that your Naija friends really took time to become so close. Mind you gestures, body language and mannerisms can be misleading since you guys are not from the same cultural background. Some of them might want you to come clean and open up a conversation. They may even think that you are the guy's friend and may choose to stay as far as possible.
Remember don't have a generalized opinion on a particular set of people. African women to the best of my knowledge do not hate white women. What for? Their number problem - African men. Litany of things their African men don't do right.
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Drusilla (f)
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Sista,
There are a few things going on, at least from my perspective.
African American women are treated different by African men, at least from what I have seen.
I think even the introduction to others, is a bit more than African women might expect, if they were at home, for example. (This is not so far off from Ghetto -- I have seen fights almost break out because somebody asked my name and people be told that they need to mind their own business -- unless my name is offered, then it is not to be asked for or assumed that the person has a right to know it)
We also would be expected to be allowed to be included fully in all of the conversations between men, whereas it does not seem that is what African women expect, excepting the professional setting. (This also is not so far off from the Ghetto --this might beconsidered flirting and will certainly lead to a fight, if the evening involves beer)
Also we tend to take liberties based on the name introduction, where there are none. (This is offensive in the Ghetto also -- we think you need to talk about what you came here for and not ask all kinds of questions)
Also in the Ghetto it would be offensive for someone to compliment you on you clothes -- it's better left unspoken, otherwise you risk coming off as if you think, you are better than someone else.
Remember -- chances are that no matter if you do not think someone's clothes are pretty or nice, THEY DO. So they do not need your compliments one way or another.
It will make them feel strange either way. i.e. they always dress good, nothing to get excited about, so why are you by pointing it out making them feel like some freak who when they get no compliments, they do not look good.
I would think, that swirling in the back of the African woman's mind would be the idea: that I ain't trying to get no sex from you, so do not expect me to kiss your butt and forgive you for all the offenses that your so dimwitted about, you do not know your committing them.
I think an approach, where you remain quieter with the men and with them would work far better than one where you try to do the American thing (what we in the Ghetto call -- whitegirling someone) and start a continous blab about who you are and question who they are, etc, etc.
Allow them to make the first move. Allow for some room for criticism. Some of the best unspoken understandings between me and African women have been when I remained silent and finally they begin to speak to me, to explain, how you do not eat this or that African dish with a fork but rather with your hands dipping it or whatever. Sooner or later this allowing them to for lack of a better word: "mother me" has led to them wanting to know more about me and while time may not allowed us to get close, I did not feel as if they were my enemy, when I left.
I do not know how much this little thinking of mine, will help you.
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mrmayor (m)
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Sista, Welcome to the club,this attitude of African women towards African American/Afro Carribean women is nothing new,its called FRONTING.Many of these African women come from middle class families back home where they are used to looking down on people who have less money as them.When they get to America/Europe they transfer their condisending attitude to wards AA people. The truth is African women are less tolerant about women in general,their thinking is this,even if their man is not there those not mean you would not like to get freaky with him later when you become friends,they are more likely to be friends with you when they know you are not the competition. If you want to be friends with African women,the best place I would suggest is CHURCHES,am sure you know where to find African Churches. @Drusilla, I agree with you again, Sista,
African American women are treated different by African men, at least from what I have seen.
I think an approach, where you remain quieter with the men and with them would work far better than one where you try to do the American thing (what we in the Ghetto call -- whitegirling someone) and start a continous blab about who you are and question who they are, etc, etc.
Its always better to let them make the first move,this approach has worked in my dealings with Indians and Moslems Drusilla, WE IN THE GHETTO! I'm so disappointed  I thought you were some Professor of African Studies In Howard University who is trying to establish a pure African Country in America.  Cheers girls.
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Drusilla (f)
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Mrmayor,
LOL Smile Thank you
Is a small African American country in Africa, out of the question? LOL Smile
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Maat
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@ drusilla(This is not so far off from Ghetto -- I have seen fights almost break out because somebody asked my name and people be told that they need to mind their own business -- unless my name is offered, then it is not to be asked for or assumed that the person has a right to know it)
I only quoted one thing you were right about but there were many things you were right on about. African women are just like us A.A women in many ways when it comes to men. They are also a lot like us when it comes to getting ghetto. LOL Let me retract that before and African takes offense. We are a lot like them when it comes to those things. One thing I do know about Africans, they don't want A.A saying they do anything like us. We can say we do things like them but not the other way around is not cool, LOL
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mrmayor (m)
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Drusilla, Mrmayor,
LOL Smile Thank you
Is a small African American country in Africa, out of the question? LOL Smile
No,its not out of the question,but please don't tell me you are Ghetto! you are much too smart for that.I really hope that there is a lot more interaction between Africans and African Americans.The AA people I have met have being a revelation of sorts,I have come to learn from them and admire their resilience. I still don't understand why there is still suspicion between African women and African American / Afro Carribean women. Cheers |
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Drusilla (f)
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Maat, LOL It is my sincere belief that Continental Africans are in fact Black People.  When you get a hold of what that really, really, really means. Then you can get past all the barriers. |
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Drusilla (f)
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Mrmayor,
I am most definitely Ghetto.
And despite what you believe about Ghetto people.
That is a greatest thing about me.
It's not the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog.
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chinani (f)
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Wow! So many wonderful ideas!  Sista you'll do well to listen to all of them -- except mrmayor's; he managed to read your initial post & still submit an (incorrect) generalization.  Johnny, tell him what he's won. . .Anyhow, I won't repeat any of the bright ideas already stated but will add that African women in America live like a minority minority. Being black makes us a "minority" and w/in this "minority" we do not have the dominant culture or mode of expression. B/c of this we, like others, -- Indians, Asians, etc. -- are suspicious of women who only have male African friends. It could be that you're seen as a bopper. While you may not be & have African female friends b/c they are not visible African women may think you're trying to be different or cute -- bascially taking their culture for a joke, a trend while you get your college kicks in. Like "garri how exotic" or "my friend is from Africa" & they're thinking "You don't know the 1st thing about it" -- basically the whitegirling it that Drusilla hit on earlier. Also, they might think one of the dudes is your boyfriend or that you're extra flirty. Relationships among Africans don't necessarily look the same. I for one have dated African & A.A. men & I've never done P.D.A. So just being around them alot might make the ladies think you're a girlfriend (or bopper  ). Solution? There's no easy or simple one. Keep being yourself & be very aware of cultural differences even if you can't articulate the differences. Adconline & Drusilla weren't lying. . . Also don't take anything they say or do personally. Rule of thumb: if they don't think about you, don't waste time thinking about them. |
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Eurphoria (f)
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@chinani I agree with you here and Drusilla ofcourse  good advice you gave sista, all this cultural politics how draining @Sista \from your post we can see you are coming from a good place and have no sinister motives, hope Drusilla's points helped , sure helped me understand a few things myself, though i don't experience any of this but have a vague idea. Just remain who you are, keep being nice, no matter what some of these small minded ladies do, its all just Fronting lol like someone mentioned. Very interesting thread |
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Sista (f)
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@ Eurphoria@Sista
from your post we can see you are coming from a good place and have no sinister motives, hope Drusilla's points helped , sure helped me understand a few things myself, though i don't experience any of this but have a vague idea. Just remain who you are, keep being nice, no matter what some of these small minded ladies do, its all just Fronting lol like someone mentioned.
Very interesting thread Yes, I will always remain who I am. I sort of already know why some African women react the way that they do towards A.A women, I just wanted to hear it from them. @ To AllI began this post as Maat because I had gotten banned from this forum for a while for posting in the wrong subject area and I thought I was banned for good. I soon discovered that after creating a new username Maat, that my Sista one was allowed to come back to nairaland so Maat has been put to rest. Sista has returned
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twinkledew (f)
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I will talk for myself. i don't know what most people feel about AA but i know most Africans don't like white peeps. i don't understand why. I don't dislike or Hate anyone. i get along with everyone. probably because of the way have been brought up. My parents and religion has taught me to love everyone. i think some Africans r just jealous. they prbly think u are taking all their blokes. but hey, there are loads of fish in the ocean |
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twinkledew (f)
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@sista stop flirting with the African dudes . Just kidding @ Drusila
asked my name and people be told that they need to mind their own business -- unless my name is offered, then it is not to be asked for or assumed that the person has a right to know it)
We also would be expected to be allowed to be included fully in all of the conversations between men, whereas it does not seem that is what African women expect, excepting the professional setting. (This also is not so far off from the Ghetto --this might be considered flirting and will certainly lead to a fight, if the evening involves beer)
Also we tend to take liberties based on the name introduction, where there are none. (This is offensive in the Ghetto also -- we think you need to talk about what you came here for and not ask all kinds of questions)
Also in the Ghetto it would be offensive for someone to compliment you on you clothes -- it's better left unspoken, otherwise you risk coming off as if you think, you are better than someone else.
Remember -- chances are that no matter if you do not think someone's clothes are pretty or nice, THEY DO. So they do not need your compliments one way or another.
It will make them feel strange either way. i.e. they always dress good, nothing to get excited about, so why are you by pointing it out making them feel like some freak who when they get no compliments, they do not look good. Why do Africans don't like people commenting on how they look. i can remember back at University. A Ghanaian girl felt out with me because she thought i was mocking how she dressed when i complement her. she did not tell me but another mate of mine told me. i was not mocking her neither did i thought her clothing were bad. to me she used to dress so well. hey i have learnt but that does not stop me complementing people. |
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Drusilla (f)
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twinkledew,
The acceptable way to compliment someones clothes is to say: "I want to go and buy that outfit, shirt or dress your wearing, it looks so good on you."
Don't arrogantly assume that the culture is stupid and has no way of complimenting each other.
Learn the culture and you would have no need to arrogantly disrespect it.
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NotShy2Ask
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I use to wonder why Nigerian chicks would give me the cold shoulder but I figured that they don't think that I am good enough for their men. Now that I am older I try to only associate with the ones I meet in church.They tend to be alot more excepting of me than the others. They are always approaching me and saying I look nice and that I look nigerian,which I think it's to be considerd the best of the best compliments. If they think your are a "good girl" then they welcome you with open arms. You really no if they like you when they start telling you to come to their house and things like that.
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twinkledew (f)
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most people don't want u to buy the same outfit they have. so what do u say.
I am not arrogantly disrespecting anyone i just think there is no thingy to hate on people that compliment your outfit.
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chinani (f)
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Well I still compliment people by saying "That's so cute/fly/whatever". Ain't never going to stop.  |
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clocky (m)
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they are jelous of them because they are  |
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jessilina (f)
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@EVERYONE,
I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK AFRICAN WOMEN DISLIKE AA WOMEN. HOWEVER, I DO THINK THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR. THEY ARRIVE HERE IN THEIR TRADITIONAL GARB EMULATING THE RANKS OF QUEENS AND PRINCESSES, WHERE IN THE MEAN TIME THEY COME FROM SLUMS AND SHACKS WITH NO RUNNING WATER SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE BUSH. DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE? NO!!! DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SUPERIOR? NO!! INSTEAD THEY SHOULD ENTER OUR COUNTRY HUMBLY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND DRESS IN THE STYLE OF AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE TRULY THE SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE RECORD WE DON'T WANT YOUR MEN, THEY ON THE OTHERHAND WANT US!!!!
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nilla (f)
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@EVERYONE,
I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK AFRICAN WOMEN DISLIKE AA WOMEN. HOWEVER, I DO THINK THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR. THEY ARRIVE HERE IN THEIR TRADITIONAL GARB EMULATING THE RANKS OF QUEENS AND PRINCESSES, WHERE IN THE MEAN TIME THEY COME FROM SLUMS AND SHACKS WITH NO RUNNING WATER SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE BUSH. DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE? NO!!! DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SUPERIOR? NO!! INSTEAD THEY SHOULD ENTER OUR COUNTRY HUMBLY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND DRESS IN THE STYLE OF AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE TRULY THE SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE RECORD WE DON'T WANT YOUR MEN, THEY ON THE OTHERHAND WANT US!!!!
i think this is crappy talk. the one in bold If we come from slums and shacks, how did we get here. We hid on a boat or something What could you probably be doing on a forum chatting with people from the slums huh |
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NINETOFIVE (m)
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@EVERYONE,
THEY ARRIVE HERE IN THEIR TRADITIONAL GARB EMULATING THE RANKS OF QUEENS AND PRINCESSES, WHERE IN THE MEAN TIME THEY COME FROM SLUMS AND SHACKS WITH NO RUNNING WATER SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE BUSH. DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE? NO!!! DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SUPERIOR? NO!! INSTEAD THEY SHOULD ENTER OUR COUNTRY HUMBLY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND DRESS IN THE STYLE OF AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE TRULY THE SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE RECORD WE DON'T WANT YOUR MEN, THEY ON THE OTHERHAND WANT US!!!!
I guess you 've just sent this message to the bush, is people like you that created the problems we are trying to solve, i hate a black person that try's to look down on a fellow black person, when are we going to stop all these shxt, we are all the same for God sake. |
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trully
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@EVERYONE,
I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK AFRICAN WOMEN DISLIKE AA WOMEN. HOWEVER, I DO THINK THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR. THEY ARRIVE HERE IN THEIR TRADITIONAL GARB EMULATING THE RANKS OF QUEENS AND PRINCESSES, WHERE IN THE MEAN TIME THEY COME FROM SLUMS AND SHACKS WITH NO RUNNING WATER SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE BUSH. DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE? NO!!! DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SUPERIOR? NO!! INSTEAD THEY SHOULD ENTER OUR COUNTRY HUMBLY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND DRESS IN THE STYLE OF AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE TRULY THE SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE RECORD WE DON'T WANT YOUR MEN, THEY ON THE OTHERHAND WANT US!!!!
You've got a whole lot of problems girl. Why don't you deal with them instead of resulting to insults and trying to belittle others just so you can feel bigger than you actually are and feel good about yourself. |
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chinani (f)
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My people, this jessilina is desperately searching attention. Review the comments she's already made & you'll find she's not reasonable, intelligent or serious. Everything she says is a lie which is doesn't believe herself.
Please ignore her. Without male attention she'll cease to exist.
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Sista (f)
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@ To All @EVERYONE,
I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK AFRICAN WOMEN DISLIKE AA WOMEN. HOWEVER, I DO THINK THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR. THEY ARRIVE HERE IN THEIR TRADITIONAL GARB EMULATING THE RANKS OF QUEENS AND PRINCESSES, WHERE IN THE MEAN TIME THEY COME FROM SLUMS AND SHACKS WITH NO RUNNING WATER SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE BUSH. DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE? NO!!! DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SUPERIOR? NO!! INSTEAD THEY SHOULD ENTER OUR COUNTRY HUMBLY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND DRESS IN THE STYLE OF AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE TRULY THE SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE RECORD WE DON'T WANT YOUR MEN, THEY ON THE OTHERHAND WANT US!!!! You guys, you have to remember that in places like this, things are not always as they seem. This girl has to be a white woman who had her African man taken away from her by a sister. Now she is seeking revenge by attempting to pitt black people against black people. She is to coward to do what she is doing as a white woman so she is pretending to be A.A. She can not possibly be a black woman in this day and age thinking ignorant things like this. She does not like black people. Her aim is to come in here and hurt black people. Or, she could be some kid who found a place to vent her ignorance, she sounds like she could be about the age 15 I feel real sorry for this girl  I suggest that we all ignore this person. I mean it, we should pay her no mind
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ZuluNation (m)
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My people, this jessilina is desperately searching attention. Review the comments she's already made & you'll find she's not reasonable, intelligent or serious. Everything she says is a lie which is doesn't believe herself.
Please ignore her. Without male attention she'll cease to exist.
I'm glad am not the only person that thinks is poor lady is very lonely and seeking attention on Nairaland. |
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Drusilla (f)
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@EVERYONE,
I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK AFRICAN WOMEN DISLIKE AA WOMEN. HOWEVER, I DO THINK THEY FEEL THEY ARE SUPERIOR. THEY ARRIVE HERE IN THEIR TRADITIONAL GARB EMULATING THE RANKS OF QUEENS AND PRINCESSES, WHERE IN THE MEAN TIME THEY COME FROM SLUMS AND SHACKS WITH NO RUNNING WATER SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE BUSH. DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO HATE? NO!!! DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SUPERIOR? NO!! INSTEAD THEY SHOULD ENTER OUR COUNTRY HUMBLY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS AND DRESS IN THE STYLE OF AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN WHO ARE TRULY THE SUPERIOR. AND FOR THE RECORD WE DON'T WANT YOUR MEN, THEY ON THE OTHERHAND WANT US!!!! I do not even think this person is American. And their certainly not African American. First of all, in anger some sorta Ebonics should be coming out. This is all perfect English. Secondly, everybody in America understands that we have country places in the south with no running water, they still use wells for their water, in places like the wastelands of Texas. Thirdly, America has no slums? America has no cardboard shacks where the homeless live in boxes all in a row -- right in New York City for heaven's sake. Fourth, I do want all the African men, who will have me. Their just Black men, why would I not want them? Fifth, Men will screw a cow, so being desired by a man, is no credit to any woman's beauty. She's could be just better than the cow. Sixth, Who sees Continental Africans in African Garb? Puleeze! You see more African Americans in African Garb than Continental Africans. This is just bullcrap by some white woman who has a secret agenda and I think it is that she has been dumped and used by some African man who went back to his real African woman. The post gives her away. |
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mrmayor (m)
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Guys, I sincerely believe that the FROSTY between Africans and African American is based on ignorance and mutual suspicion,both sides are not making any real effort getting to know one another. I still think actions from African women towards African American can be described as FRONTING,in my experience you get better response from African women in a church environment. Drusilla, Fourth, I do want all the African men, who will have me. Their just Black men, why would I not want them?
I want to officially declare that I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU,I think of you day and night hoping that one day I will get you to my palace,yes my palace I think I will open a thread declaring my Love for you. Fifth, Men will screw a cow, so being desired by a man, is no credit to any woman's beauty. She's could be just better than the cow.
Sixth, Who sees Continental Africans in African Garb? Puleeze! You see more African Americans in African Garb than Continental Africans.
Woman I love your sense of humour,its deadly |
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Bamanwy (f)
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I actually find it completely the other way around. Despite what @everyone says, I don't wear traditional African clothes and having lived in Europe for some years I guess my accent has changed to something not quite British/not quite Nigerian. When I visited the USA for the first time to see my sister I was appalled at the way I was treated by AA women I met in the supermarkets. When they heard me talk, they made insulting jibes, asking if I had just come from the trees or if I lived in a mud hut. I found this pretty offensive especially coming from women who seemed themselves to be inhabitants of some ghetto. Yes, I was born to poor parents in a traditional mud and stick house in a small village in the Delta, but I went to university in both Nigeria and UK. I'm no 'bush' girl, nor am I some arrogant princess. My sister told me that she experienced the same thing when she arrived in the USA some 15 years ago and maybe that's why most of her friends are either Nigerian or Mexican. I was also pretty appalled that so many AA women seemed to be hostile to the fact that I am married to a white man. I married my husband because I love him and neither race nor colour came into it. Mixed marriages seem to be much more accepted in both Nigeria and UK where I now live (though I know that in Nigeria, many people think a black woman only marries a white man because he is supposedly rich - what a laugh, until recently my husband and I have had many financial struggles, only relieved when I started working after graduating).
From what I've read so far on this thread it seems to me that it's all just born of a complete lack of understanding of each other's cultures and upbringing. We think we should have the same views because of our skin colour, but actually we are much more affected by our birthplace and culture - it's the old 'nature or nurture' thing.
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