Nigerian Men, Sex And Affairs: Non-nigerian Women Speak

Hallo u all,

Please don’t abuse me for expressing my mind!

I recently had an affair with a Nigerian man, infact it's only been 5 weeks and 4 days ago that we last made mind-altering love.  It was the best time of my life and I miss it all ooh so very much. Growing up, I’d always heard that West African men were the best in bed. But there were also other stereotypes, especially about Nigerians, many believe them to be big-time insensitive and selfcentred liars and they are seen to value material possession and money over all else…, 

It is stressing being in a relationship whereby at the back of one’s head you are anticipating the materialization of these stereotypes, meaning while enjoying the moment you are really worrying about if he really means the “I love you”, the “you are soooo sweet” or the “I want to be with you forever” declarations.   I am a 26 female from the horn of Africa and I’d never had an affair with a Nigerian man before.  I was brought up to value the marriage institution and devote to family. I passionately fell in love with this man and instantaneously felt a strong commitment to be his wife….forever. We had an affair for over 6 months, and we discussed and considered marriage.

6 months later things turned out different. Whereas in the beginning he told me he was separated for many years and was in the middle of a divorce, he later confessed that due to cultural reasons, divorce was really not an easy option. His family and ethnic clan back home were against it etc…I was stunned and felt hurt. He went back to the US and I was left in Europe with a broken heart. Later, I confided in many of female friends. I was shocked at what they had to say/experienced/heard through their girlfriends/read, especially the white women friends. To sum it all up- it seems the average Nigerian man has broken many a (non-Nigerian) female heart before he is taken to his grave.  I think Nigerian men will do anything to have a good time, even at the expense of others, but in the end they would like to end up with a submissive and devout Nigerian wife.

So while there might be some candour in the stereotype that Nigerian men are good in sex (maybe that is the only thing they are good at, lool, am joking here oo!!), there is also some accuracy in the label big-time liar.
I am also not naïve enough to believe in- or make generalisations, but based on all these empirical facts, one is bound to make them.

I just would like to know why the Nigerian man is such an inconsiderate calculative liar….

Are there any non-Nigerian sistahs in da house?
Nigerian sistahs and brothers holler back, but plz don't break me, i am fragile, lool

BS

yoh jap sis! what do u mean some african people are like that ?!!!
thx for the wishes, i know my happiness doesnt depend on a man!!
chill, bs

am not rasist, i just came to this site because i love africa and Nigeria
what i say is maybe the fact that many Nigerian people are like this
maybe thet are brought up like this in order to survive.
i don't know. but the answer must lay somewhere

Wrong Nigerian sisters know the name of the game., and can play the hgame too.

I'm sorry about what happened, but you can't classify all nigerian men in that category.
though they are smart and may break a few hearts once in a while, you can still find good Men in Nigeria.

I'm Nigerian and i would  tell you this for free --NEVER TRUST A NIGERIAN MAN. Even those that are in a commited relationship ie married with children, cheat, they tell lies. A relationship/affair with a naija-- Enter into it at your own risk.

But you knew he was married?? Why would he ever leave his wife for you??

What i will tell any non-nigerian woman  dating or thinking of dating a nigerian man is ' BE CAREFUL". most are not sincere. They just want something from you and will do whatever it takes to get it. And once they have it, YOU ARE HISTORY.
BUT, remember, the operative word is "MOST", so don't generalise, even Americans and European men do that too.

one thing I do know if nothing elese. Nigerian men want a women who is submissive,who loves God and who represents him in the best way.That's one thing I know.If you give them some ass then your ass is trash!Keep your legs closed and you will be amazed at how many will want you.I know from experiance.So many men at my church and men who know me threw members of my church like me so much because of the reputaion I have of being a "good girl"They sure don't want someone who has been "around the  block" one time too many. If you show them that you are very sexual,they will enjoy your body but will not want you for much more than sex.You can kiss alot flirt alot touch a little but keep those legs closed if you want him to really want you.They feel that if they can get it without marrying you then anyone can.Even if you aren't a virgin,they still want you to respect yourself,and you better believe they will be thinking if she can do this and this to me then she can do it to another guy.Save the freaky side until after he marries you.

Helloooo to u non niger babes! I have read all you've said on this topic. I feel sorry for Brownsuga. But am particularly alarmed that the story has been blown out of proportion that good chicks like Tanicarr are at the risk of losing a going relationship just because they stumbled on one pathetic story. What of those white chicks who have dumped their niger husbands and boyfriends? We have heard so much of that. My friends brother was recently deported from Germany, and his wife of 4 years quickly remarried! She never called or mailed him after he was deported. It was through mutual friends that my friends brother got to know that his wife had remarried and had sent their only son to her parents!We niger guys hear this kind a story often and yet we've not built a stereotype around any white chick. Please retrace your steps before it is too late. Niger guys are good though some are very bad (like the drug pushers and fraudsters). Please avoid the bad ones! If you need help I can give a few tips for free!

@ desiree
he told me  HE WASNT MARRIED in the beginning. and then almost 2 months later, he said that they were arranging papers and he was divorcing . After that he said in his culture ( he is Igbo, but based in the US) didnt approve of divorces and his family pressured him not to. It seems the families inter-married etc. They r seperated many years.

I have a life-principal, maybe it is from my upbringing, never ever get involved with a married man. In my culture we believe that you sow is what you reap- u do that and it will come back to you, in your own marriage thus. Besides that i have never ever dated a married man and don't intend to. This man lied to me and that was what made me furious and made me start this whole discussion.

thx, bs

If you want a sincere Nigerian man to marry get one who is not living in Europe/America illegally, is doing a good steady job and well educated. Such Nigerians go into relationship with foreigners out of love and not for anything else (e.g Permanent stay, money etc), unfortunately most of these Nigerians would prefer to come back home and look for a wife. Why? Because our cultural and traditional values are different, stronger and supports the family better. When a typical Nigerian couple is going through marital crises they would hardly ever throw in the towel. Marriage in Nigeria is a union of two families as such the families would step in if things are getting out of hand and settle the matter. Nigerians have unquestionable respect for their parents and would listen and obey them.

The western culture is very weak in this aspect, marriage is just between the couples. Divorce is part of the western culture, which is a fall out of the replace and don't repair concept. Laws have made it very lucrative for women to divorce their husband as such they don't even work hard at sustaining their marriages. In fact most western women instead of looking for ways of resolving marital crises prefer to threaten their man with divorce.

Our culture also has roles and responsibility for men and women in marriage. The woman looks after the day to day running of the home while the man provides for the home. Its deeply entrenched in our tradition and this has helped to maintain the respect and harmony in the house. The 50/50 concept of the western culture means there are two captains in the boat resulting in unnecessary tension, arguments and confusion on roles and responsibilities. How come the business world is yet to adopt this 50/50 concept if it is truly a good thing.

The bottom line of it all is that a typical Nigerian man with no hindrances would prefer to come back home to marry a Nigerian girl, so if you are non-Nigerian and in a relationship with a true Nigerian man then shine your eyes o! or just take it as it is without expecting too much.

@Elidegreat
Maybe if you spoke proper English, we could all ustand and respond,
Anyhow, it seems to me you're bashing at iice for expressing her mind- just like u did,
so what's up?

@Brownsuga,
You started this whole story of bad N men in Diaspora! How come you now accuse me of taking a swipe at dear iice when I am not. All I wanted was direct information on how many non Niger women that have been conned by N men in Diaspora. Till date no number has been suggested. @iice, of course I know one or two persons may have been victim(s) to the unwholesome attitude of bad N men but habba!!!why blacklist a whole generation because of the sins of a few ancestors?!!!A lot has been suffered in the hands of non niger  women that a whole chapter can be written, but nothing has been said so far. I apologise to you hurt ladies (unbehalf of all N men). Please do find it in your tender hearts to fall in love again. I assure you the next guy will be different. Just make sure he has a genuine means of livelihood. Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!

yea,,,,I bet african american men are romantic, buy u roses with the money u made while he is home the whole day or in jail, tell u I love u and fukc with all the strength from lifting weights all day because he doesnt want to get a job, and going out of their way to carry your hand bags and clean your feet because if they don't u will kick them out of the house,,,,,right?
Question to African american women: what the hell are u doing with NIgerian men?