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Sista (f)
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@superman
What I mean by forgetting roots is, Africans gave up African traditions to take on the ways of the white man. A lot of Africans have not but most Africans have.
How do you explain Africa even having a name to describe their religion such as Christianity and Islam? White mans Christianity which is what most blacks practice today was the indoctrination used on black people during colonization and slavery. Islam was pushed on to Africans by Arabs who took slaves from Africa. Muslims did their dirt to Africa and they left behind Islam. White people did their dirt to Africa and they left behind white Christianity.
Drusilla is the only African I know who practices chrisitanity the African way. But, even that way
is useless to those who have forgotten.
This is why I can not understand why Nigerians particularly call their self born and Bread real Africans when they are speaking with Africans who were not born in Africa. They say that A.A are not real Africans that A.A's are different. How dare they say that. Africa has been infiltrated so many times, even Africa is not her true self anymore, let alone the Africans born there.
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superman (m)
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yes Sista I'm not refuting what u are implying you know ! i know there are a lot of fake africans out there . as for christianity yes i agree to some an extent. if u can remember in the other thread about islam i did mention my problem with these muslim brothers is they simply ve to recognise they are africans for real. the same goes to my christainity. to me there is nothing wrong be a christian or a moslem but as long as u recognise your root its all good now u wonder why these moslem are poundering humans in the north for no cause.
as for in my case i can attest some african christianity is real of cause i remember when angelican church in USA were like going on they gona ordained a gay priest yes a gay preist , they first set of people to condemed that was an african a nigerian while south african what now emm TUTU were down for west but then the nigerians knew it was anti-african and threating to pull out from the world memebership association.
superman know africa got a problem but the picture is bigger than that frame u got right there babes!
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Sista (f)
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@Superman
I wasn't implying that you were refuting what I said, I just was not sure if you understood what I was saying.
As far is Christianity and Islam go. what people do not understand is, when religion such as Judaism, Islam and Christianity were created, they were created amongst a specific group of people that were all in agreeance about how they wanted to worship. The Arabs created Islam to represent what they supposedly adhere to and in the name of slavery, they made Africans submit to Allah. In essence, Allah was not God, Allah was a rich Arab man or poor Arab man who stole Africans and sold them to the rich Arabs. So, if an African said I submit to Allah as he was being enslaved, this was him in essence saying I submit to Arab people, they are the ruler over me and I must accept.
Same thing goes for white Christianity, I say white because although we know that Christianity was developed in Africa, we also know it was white homosexuals who used it to take over the world with. It was white men who plagiarized the religion and then they added white supremacy to the religion. One of the white supremest additions to the religion was changing the name of the Son of God. His name was not Jesus. Jesus is not an African name. Another white supremest addition was turning Jesus white. That way if black people believed that Jesus is white, they would believe all that is white is good, they would also believe that God is white. So, when they prayed to God in the name of Jesus, they were in essence praying to the rich white man or massa in the name of his offsprings son or sons or In America young massa. The only time black people recognized that God had blessed them was determind by how white people treated them that day. If whitey was good and nice that day, God had blessed the retched black sole. If Whitey had not been so nice to a black person that day, that meant that God was not pleased with the retched black sole.
All of this tapers over into how and why African people are the way that they are today.
Didn't mean to go off subject matter but when you look at it, all of the discusions that take place in nairaland about how black people are towards each other, it all ties into religion and politics. You really can not discuss any of the problems we as black people have without discussing the core. The core always lies in religion and politics.
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superman (m)
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hmm well true talk but I'm sure there is a black jesus! and guess what some people think he is from nigeria u no
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GNature (m)
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hmm well true talk but I'm sure there is a balck jesus! and guess what some people think he is from nigeria u no
@superman Dude you're something else  |
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Brownsuga (f)
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@Superman and Sista, does this thread seem to you to be the right place to discuss religions?
Please, there are enough threads already debating on controversialised world religions, wouldnt u care to go there?
This thread WAS NOT created to discuss religion.
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Brownsuga (f)
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@Sista, you have some good points, and i will get back to you this afternoon. Let me frist run to the market and get me some good soul food, @Sage, i have read and re-read your input but i just can't undearstand what it is you are trying to say. @Dido, i just couldnt help but notice that you mentioned that lady-babay mama- way too often. I thought , something fishy here, Something aint right here. How can one befriend one's ex? You two had a strange frienship. You actually discussed about him with each other etc ?!!!  And now she is with him!!! @ mochafella Let me quote you , "Most N women don't beleive in flings or won't admit it openly -HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? SOURCES?). Hence the N man is "conditioned" (BY WHOM?) to lie (WHY LIE!  ) that its more(  ), even if its obvious to all that its a fling and nothing more (YOU SEEM TO BE JUSTIFYING LYING, BECAUSE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT N MEN -THEY HAVE TO BE EXCUSED?!!  ). Yours was a fling (NO, IT WAS MUCH MORE THAN A FLING FOR ME, I WANTED TO MARRY THIS MAN), so was Dido's the moment (SO, BEFORE THIS MOMENT IT WAS NTO A FLING TO HIM?) he moved the baby-mama back in. How about a married man having a fling wth a young lady? is he conditioned to lie too? by whom is he conditioned? Your statement not only lacks evidence, it is also not endowed with reason, it lacks physical moral depth and i think you are trying to demonstrate sufficient legal/moral reason for wrongful actions taken by N men and N women. @Mizakay, thx for your hilarious story. Gosh i don't know why people hide about their children; i think one should be proud of one's children, How did u find out though? Girl, you are something!! Well i am glad you walked out of it chin up and all!! Lool. You keep that chin up!!! |
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Brownsuga (f)
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I meant , "reason for wrongful actions taken by N men against N women"
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superman (m)
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former US president still hold the world record ! remember MOnica lewisky in da White house! oh i forget he is an american! oh s h it i think I'm goin nuts
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Brownsuga (f)
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superman |
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Brownsuga (f)
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@Sista, so what you are actually saying is that Africans have lost their true identity, culture and norms and values to the colonisers, and therefore that is why they are resorting to ill behaviour?
Do i get you right sista?
I have also been folowing your posts, the common thread in your messages seems to want to advocate for one love among 'the black culture', Eventhough i think your message of peace is the ideal one, it is far from a realistic point of view. Many Africans don't necessarliy identify themselves with the African American culture nor people.I also happen to know many AA's who don't regad themselves as being an African, of course we all know nearly all AAs and Caribbeans have African roots,
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sage (m)
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@Brownsuga
I was just trying to illustrate the mentality many Nigerian men have about women thatz all. Statutory right to sex is usually for men and since he can get mistresses with impunity then he normally does not have a problem with having a lady thatz a virgin, and then getting freaky sex from a mistress or many that are not 'good enough' to get married to.
Some men even equate virgin= Wife.
Some of the views will appear strange to u guys from other places, but then,
And as u go on with this arguement, u are going to see Nigerians that assume a high pedestal of beign "MORAL" and actually believe that.
@Coco29
U said Nigerians believe that sex matters should be kept for marriage, well not strictly. It should be if u are a woman.
@TaniCarr
Ive followed ur posts and i was quite impressed when u said that u knew how to cook some nigerian dishes eg Egusi. Looks like u have an open mind mind towards other cultures. It seems u are really intrested in Nigerians
That said, if u want to do things do them because its what u want to do 4 yourself. Seems like all the things u do are influenced by what the Naijas do. Well if u finally end up with a Naija Manchester United should be straight but always have this in mind
IN NIGERIA THE WORLD OF A MAN IS DIFFERENT FROM THE WORLD OF A WOMAN.
for eg in ur church now u have had to stay away from sex totally in order to build up ur reputation
Does any man in the church have to do that for even a day in order to build up a reputation, NO Y? because he is a man
U mentioned something about ur not beign a virgin beign a kind of a bad mark on u in their eyes.
is it so for any of the guys NO Y? because he is a man.
As long as u realize that that u have to be under certain behavourial confines because u are a woman then u are ready to deal with life with Nigerians in general. Goodluck too
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Dido
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Brownsuga, I know it all seems strange and fishy but that's the way it was. SHe initially called me to find out what was going on with me and this guy and silly me at first denied that we had anything more than a friendship. SHe continued calling me because she thought it was kind of strange that he called me so much when we were suppose to be friends, so I admitted that we did have more than a friendship. Once I admitted that she tried to befriend me to get more information about what was going on with us. She went as far as telling me that he was not treating her right and that for days on end he would not say anything to her and they live in the same house and she did tell me that she had questioned him on several ocassions about our relationship and he denied it all. After talking to her a couple times, at first I felt sorry for her, she even at one point break down and cried about how horrible he use to treat her, I somewhat felt guitly but learnt later on that it was all a scam to get information and use it against me. She made me look like I was the bad person and that I told her things to intentionally hurt her . She claimed that she only called me because I was harrassing her and she would go back to him and tell him I disrespected her and so on and so on, (total lies) TO make a long story short, It may seem crazy Brownsuga, but sometimes when you love someone you don't tend to think before you act sometimes. My sensitivity and consideration towards other peoples' needs and feelings have created a lot more harm than good for me, hopefully my downfalls will make me stronger along the way. But I did take your advice and many others and tried to broke it off with him but he showed up and my doorstep with pure kindness and of course took advantage of my weakness for him . For the first tme in a long time we were able to talk about the situation with him and her, [ i]and please let me know if I'm stupid for believing that this is stilll all an arrangment for their child and to save him the expense of having to pay two rents][/i]. I know I've been advised to take the stand and be strong about it, but now I'm thinking I should give it one last try to see if he will live up to his latest promise of spending more time with me. I don't know if I owe him that to be honest with you, I was more upset than happy when he said it but I'm still willing to try. Can somebody please just slap me into reality, maybe that's what I need!  |
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GermanLady (f)
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Brownsuga, I know it all seems strange and fishy but that's the way it was. SHe initially called me to find out what was going on with me and this guy and silly me at first denied that we had anything more than a friendship. SHe continued calling me because she thought it was kind of strange that he called me so much when we were suppose to be friends, so I admitted that we did have more than a friendship. Once I admitted that she tried to befriend me to get more information about what was going on with us. She went as far as telling me that he was not treating her right and that for days on end he would not say anything to her and they live in the same house and she did tell me that she had questioned him on several ocassions about our relationship and he denied it all. After talking to her a couple times, at first I felt sorry for her, she even at one point break down and cried about how horrible he use to treat her, I somewhat felt guitly but learnt later on that it was all a scam to get information and use it against me. She made me look like I was the bad person and that I told her things to intentionally hurt her . She claimed that she only called me because I was harrassing her and she would go back to him and tell him I disrespected her and so on and so on, (total lies) TO make a long story short, It may seem crazy Brownsuga, but sometimes when you love someone you don't tend to think before you act sometimes. My sensitivity and consideration towards other peoples' needs and feelings have created a lot more harm than good for me, hopefully my downfalls will make me stronger along the way. But I did take your advice and many others and tried to broke it off with him but he showed up and my doorstep with pure kindness and of course took advantage of my weakness for him . For the first tme in a long time we were able to talk about the situation with him and her, [ i]and please let me know if I'm stupid for believing that this is stilll all an arrangment for their child and to save him the expense of having to pay two rents][/i]. I know I've been advised to take the stand and be strong about it, but now I'm thinking I should give it one last try to see if he will live up to his latest promise of spending more time with me. I don't know if I owe him that to be honest with you, I was more upset than happy when he said it but I'm still willing to try. Can somebody please just slap me into reality, maybe that's what I need! how many times you need to be slapped into reality? why you ask people about their opinion if deep down inside you know what you need to do? some women like to suffer - and you seem to be one of those! Look into the mirror and ask yourself,WHY do I allow this man to treat me like that? If you don't like his behaving,step away from him.That easy Other than that,hold your breath and play your role in this game. I am telling you ,if I would be a man I also would take advantage of women like YOU ! It's an easy target. I bet you ,this man is giving you the best sex you ever had in your life ,that's what it is.you are dic*wipped - sorry but that is exactly what it is. If you would not enjoy the sex with him,he would be history along time ago now tell me I am wrong  |
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Dido
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Germanlady, Point well taken, However, I am not one who loves suffering, it is not that EASY to walk let go of someone you truly love and for so long. But I can guarantee you that not another man will win over on me like this ever again. Sensible people live and learn from their mistakes and I think I'll regain my sanity once I'm over him. |
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Dido
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Hey Brownsuga,
I just read your initial post and I see that you too have been burnt by the "Nigerian Love." I could be wrong but, after my situation, I think that like any other men, Nigerian men lie at first to see if women would fall for them. Once a woman gives in to their pursuance, they continue to lie to hold onto the woman, whether it's because they really like them or simply because they want to have options when it comes to sex. It's hard to confess to a lie once you have initated one and some of these men, though very few want to come out and be honest but they know that once they do that it will ruin their credibility.
Unlike some women who would rather be honest to appear trustworthy, men do the opposite, not realizing that once the truth comes to light, it make them look worst than if they were honest from the beginning, so trust is lost in any case. I would prefer honesty because honesty builds trust, no matter what the situation might be.
But I do feel your pain, although I am totally against dating a married man, but either way, the end result was still a broken heart based on lies. Someone needs to write a book on coaching men on how to be honest and why. THere are to many books advising women one "how to mend a broken heart", "getting over a love one" and "how to tell if it's true love," all that good stuff, but I think if they target the source of the problem then we would not need all these crazy books to help us heal. You feel me?
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mochafella (m)
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@ mochafella Let me quote you , "Most N women don't beleive in flings or won't admit it openly -HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? SOURCES?). Hence the N man is "conditioned" (BY WHOM?) to lie (WHY LIE! ) that its more( ), even if its obvious to all that its a fling and nothing more (YOU SEEM TO BE JUSTIFYING LYING, BECAUSE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT N MEN -THEY HAVE TO BE EXCUSED?!! ). Yours was a fling (NO, IT WAS MUCH MORE THAN A FLING FOR ME, I WANTED TO MARRY THIS MAN), so was Dido's the moment (SO, BEFORE THIS MOMENT IT WAS NTO A FLING TO HIM?) he moved the baby-mama back in. How about a married man having a fling wth a young lady? is he conditioned to lie too? by whom is he conditioned? Your statement not only lacks evidence, it is also not endowed with reason, it lacks physical moral depth and i think you are trying to demonstrate sufficient legal/moral reason for wrongful actions taken by N men and N women. First of all, I'm not justifying lying, I'm sure you can read that my post made no moral judgements or justification neither was it given as an excuse for their behaviour, you asked for a reason and I gave you one. Whether you beleive it or not is your choice. That "moral" interpretation you gave is also purely yours, I gave none. As for your questions about N men, women and flings, I have no sources but I suggest you take up residence in Nigeria and observe. Were you still planning to marry this man after you found out he was not divorced and apparently was not planning to leave his wife? Think carefully, your reply says more about you than it does about him. Did Dido still seriously expect something after the Baby-mama moved in, apparently with his mother's acquiescence? It may and probably meant more to both of you at the start of the relationship but subsequent events should have been the trigger for both of you to wipe your tears and get to stepping, and I'm not justifying the behaviour of the men but you both could have saved yourselves a whole lot of grief and at a much earlier stage. |
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GNature (m)
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Were you still planning to marry this man after you found out he was not divorced and apparently was not planning to leave his wife? Think carefully, your reply says more about you than it does about him.
hmmm |
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jaguda (m)
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@ Emeka, nice response, stand up for the Nigerian Man
@BS, bottomline, what was the status of ur man? was he an assylum seeker, or am illegal immigrant? i have seen a lot of my brothers bring back to Naija, some bloated, out of shape, ugly white trash, (not sorry) for marriage, all in the name of securing legal papers to work in foreign lands. There is even a thread in Nairaland where a black guys is pictured as dating all mountain of a woman all for papers.
Yes, MEN cheat! Not only NIGERIAN MEN, its a privates thing! Same way guys cannot understand how women spend hours shopping, so since we can't really know a person except we get closer to him, pray u do not pick a junk next time. If u r too scared to date a Nigerian male, i sympathize with u, because even in Naija here, i've had heartbreaks from Nigerian women, but that is not stopping me from seeking out love. If u still feel like dating a Nigerian abroad, check out his status before u leap.
@ all the females, issues like this make us run home to take up partners in Nigeria. Women Lib, yes, but not what u girls are displaying here. Gues u girls are singles with no dates, judging from ur post. a guy fucks u up, please, don't take it out on the next guy, he might be the one.
Ciao.
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kaecy5 (m)
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@Brownsuga, @iice, @Germanlady,
well, in defence of the few bad nigerian men
i would really liketo ask why do u label them bad, is it because they left u for reasons they can't explain to u?
basically we should look into the root cause of the problem before we jump to conclusions. lets start by asking what and why are some nigerian men bad what is the major causing factor to this phenomenom
well i could give u a list of factors why you could come to some conclusion why some men from nigeria are bad
1. naturally higher % of nigerian girls love lies. they would date u when u tell them lies of all degree, so much so lies that swirl around money, and lies that tell them they r the only one in the whole wild world that could have access to ur heart and ur bank account, even if they know ur lying they still enjoy it to the fullest
and since most nigerian guys have tried this method and it works anytime anywhere so i don't see u non nigerian ladies as an exception. mind u when most nigerian girls are asked to choose between real men and fake they prefer the fake because of money factor.
2. mind u one major factor why most nigerian men would want to dump u non nigerians
FAMILY- nigerians are attached to family whether they r in nigeria or they r abroad. when they r abroad they tend to think more about home. now getting married to a non nigerian girl from the process of elongated dating might hamper this dream to go back home some day because to say the truth most of u non nigerian ladies would not want to go back to nigeria and reside
if u would - why not admit it now.
after considering this factor for a while they would prefer to go back tonigeria and pick a lady whom they know would not fidget at the idea of visiting home someday
well i use to have a friend who's mom is german, and father nigerian. while were in school about year 3 or so the mom showed up in school the next day the boy and 3 other siblings left nigeria. they called their father 2 months later to inform him they have left ninja. and now they are married to foreigners the man (their father) have not yet come to terms with it that he has lost his family
now ask ur self the basic question before u continue running ur mouth- we all know when u marry a non nigerian lady the children don't belong to u. who is ready to take such risk
until u can proove to me and other nigerian guys here that u r sure ready to follow ur man to the end of the world if he decides to go back home tomoro if not start looking some where else because u would definitely get some more heart breaks.
an average nigerian guy even if he is in the end of the earth still values his family even if they fight constantly.
go touch one of them and dare him to react.
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kaecy5 (m)
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@sista i sure need some more proove on ur christianity and islam theory of a rich man or poor man because i sure am returning to my roots. i have started by denoucing my english name only answer to my native name. because the english man would never bear my native name. u could hoola me with some more proove kaecy5@yahoo.comtake care |
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GermanLady (f)
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well i use to have a friend who's mom is german, and father nigerian. while were in school about year 3 or so the mom showed up in school the next day the boy and 3 other siblings left nigeria. they called their father 2 months later to inform him they have left ninja. and now they are married to foreigners the man (their father) have not yet come to terms with it that he has lost his family
they called their father to inform him? The father should have been there to SEE what's going on in his home ,that his wife was about to get away from him .Let me tell you one thing about a mother,a woman who has 3 kids by her husband will not just leave without a good reason.It's not easy to raise 3 kids as a single mother.I am pretty sure this woman was escaping from him.I am also sure he knew why she has left.If he has really no idea why she left with 3 kids,there is a lack of communication. It is always sad to see families are not together anymore,and I don't want to blame men always, But don't you think this lady had a REASON to just leave with her kids- german or nigerian or elsewhere - a mother with 3 kids will not just leave without a reason.It's easy to hear only one side of a story and sometimes you would be very surprised to hear the other side as well. |
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kaecy5 (m)
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But don't you think this lady had a REASON to just leave
thats sure the problem, nigerian men are sure afraid of non nigerians because down here when marriages have problem we stick to it and fight it out to be able to resolve issues., but we know over there when most marriage start showing signs of problems everyone packs his bags and leave. |
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GermanLady (f)
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thats sure the problem, nigerian men are sure afraid of non nigerians because down here when marriages have problem we stick to it and fight it out to be able to resolve issues., but we know over there when most marriage start showing signs of problems everyone packs his bags and leave.
you are absolutely right ! many years back women here in my country had to stick with their husbands too.They had no choice because they had no money to leave.Women depend on men in the early years .The law was different years ago and nowadays women feel more free,they are much more independent,sometimes they make more money than their men.So they don't want to put up with a lot of things. I'm not sure is all that is good or bad. It's good when u can feel free to go if you are in an abusive marriage for instance,but nowadays people sometimes just run to fast because the CAN so I'm torned in between yes and no - good or bad.It all depends on the situation. |
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Dido
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thats sure the problem, nigerian men are sure afraid of non nigerians because down here when marriages have problem we stick to it and fight it out to be able to resolve issues., but we know over there when most marriage start showing signs of problems everyone packs his bags and leave. Yeah of course you Nigerian men would stick around because half or most of the time, you are the reasons for the marraiges having problems in the first place. You yourself said that Nigerian men seldom walk out on their families, so more than likely you will not leave her to go and take up a sweetheart, when you can stay with her and still do the same. The reason why the Nigerian wife will probably not leave her husband is because she feels she has a reputation to uphold, and no matter what she has to endure in the marraige she will tolerate it to "save face." (display herself as a good wife). That is the reason why I feel that most Nigerian men would prefer to have a submissive wife so that they can be in full control, do what they want and still have your gullable wives at home to serve you. Though I am guilty of this to some degree, I don't think no woman in her right mind who is contiuously unhappy in a marraige should stick around. No matter how many times the both of them talk about their problems and try to work them out, if either party is not happy in the relationship just leave. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman taking her children and leaving a relationship, if she is miserable what's the sense in sticking around. As a matter of fact that shows her strength and independence as a woman and thats something some Nigerian men have a hard time accepting. They immediately feel challenged when they see a women portray any signs of independence or streight, because they feel like it's taking away their control. |
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GermanLady (f)
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Yeah of course you Nigerian men would stick around because half or most of the time, you are the reasons for the marraiges having problems in the first place. You yourself said that Nigerian men seldom walk out on their families, so more than likely you will not leave her to go and take up a sweetheart, when you can stay with her and still do the same.
The reason why the Nigerian wife will probably not leave her husband is because she feels she has a reputation to uphold, and no matter what she has to endure in the marraige she will tolerate it to "save face." (display herself as a good wife). That is the reason why I feel that most Nigerian men would prefer to have a submissive wife so that they can be in full control, do what they want and still have your gullable wives at home to serve you.
Though I am guilty of this to some degree, I don't think no woman in her right mind who is contiuously unhappy in a marraige should stick around. No matter how many times the both of them talk about their problems and try to work them out, if either party is not happy in the relationship just leave.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman taking her children and leaving a relationship, if she is miserable what's the sense in sticking around. As a matter of fact that shows her strength and independence as a woman and thats something some Nigerian men have a hard time accepting. They immediately feel challenged when they see a women portray any signs of independence or streight, because they feel like it's taking away their control.
wow .Is this the same Dido I knew from this other thread? Gurl you surprise me,you sound so strong now! Kudos to UI totally agree with you,thank you for your statement  |
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Dido
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Thanks, just don't know how to take my own advice that's all |
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superman (m)
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is it really!
never underestimate the power in this phrase "NIGERIAN SPIRIT" till then u will begining to understand why a striaght nigerian is always gona be a nigerian
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Brownsuga (f)
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@Dido. Ooh dear Dido, they say love is blind, i think this is true in your case; it has blinded you!! I understand now , abit about the thing with his ex-wife and you. I think you are the kind of person many take advantage of. So be careful in the future!!! I think Gemanlady raised some good points; you really need to critically do some self-reflecting and ask yourself some serious questions. Why do u let men treat u this way? U deserve better. You broke it off and u let him in again?!!!! You need to snap out of it, stop reacting to emotions, be more rational about this and get over this dude. Believe me i understand about love etc, becuase i was head over heels in love with the N man i was with. When i found out he lied to me (no there were no immig probs, he has a US citizenship) and that he was actaully married. I took my distance and 3 weeks later he left for the US. He now calls me all the time and writes me almost everyday. He tried to get me over there once and is now considering on coming back to NL. Of course i didnt fall for his trash. He swears that he is married on paper only to an Igbo lady whom he hasnt been intimate with for well over 4 or so years; "culture is keeping them 2gether". I say bullshit! i don't want him back. You see yes i did love him once, but now he is history. So, there is hope, you will get over it, in time though with ups and downs. But you need to get away from this man and his complex family story!!! They are a strange unit all 2gether, What helped me was talking about with friends but also writing about it on this thread and listening to all the comments that helped me put things into perspective. You wrote "My sensitivity and consideration towards other peoples' needs and feelings have created a lot more harm than good for me, hopefully my downfalls will make me stronger along the way". Girl you are too good for this world and its people like u that suffer the consequences of being kind and considerate. I hope u have learned a lesson here; don't involve yourself with ur boyfriend's ex's!!! I am sorry u had to go through all this shit, and that the Manchester United love the most in this world is making u crazy. don't take him in ur house. Be more assertive and tell him u r moving on, explain why. Stay strong, focus on other nice things Do some reflecting and self-analysis. and let us know how u doing! Good luck sis! BS |
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Brownsuga (f)
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@mochafella, you havent wriiten much to make me think otherwise on ur expl of the N man etc. You wrote something and that is the way i ustood it and still ustand it.
Anyhow, about marriage with the N man; no! of course i wasnt planning on marrying him after he told me he was married. I took my distance then. I did want to marry him when he told me he was divorced, which was months prior.
In the beginning he told me he wasnt married, months later he told me was divorced, then much later he told me was in the middle of a complicated divorce for years, meaning that he was actually still married then. That was what hurt me the most; the bloddy lies, which till today still haunt me and quite comprehend.
BS
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mochafella (m)
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@mochafella, you havent wriiten much to make me think otherwise on your expl of the N man etc. You wrote something and that is the way i ustood it and still ustand it.
Ok Anyhow, about marriage with the N man; no! of course i wasnt planning on marrying him after he told me he was married. I took my distance then. I did want to marry him when he told me he was divorced, which was months prior.
In the beginning he told me he wasnt married, months later he told me was divorced, then much later he told me was in the middle of a complicated divorce for years, meaning that he was actually still married then. That was what hurt me the most; the bloddy lies, which till today still haunt me and quite comprehend.
Sannu, Ndo, Pele. |
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kaecy5 (m)
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in defence of the Nigerian man
u can quote me any where, it is a well know fact that the average nigerian man is dedicated to his family be it either his nuclear family or his extended family
although most times he does it for selfish reasons but other times he does it for the right reasons
why i say selffish reasons he might decide to take a 2nd wofe to meet his desires but that stil does not make him evil
mind u some religion and cultures permit so
come to think of, we did not invent adultery infact in nigerian traditions u can take a 2nd wife to avoid adultery and the likes.
so why do we then say the average N.Man is bad. but u know we Nigerians are unique people and highly gifted in act of brain manipulations probably u might call it that we r conning and crafty but i would say it is a naturally gift of wisdom in diverse ways.
most probably u fell for one does not make it bad for others. u can watch cheaters on reality tv then u would know it is not only N.men that cheat infact cheat is an english word and it did not start with us. most men are cheats so why paint us black then
but as we always say"mugu fall wise man wack am" simple.
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