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Brownsuga (f)
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in defence of the Nigerian man
u can quote me any where, it is a well know fact that the average nigerian man is dedicated to his family be it either his nuclear family or his extended family
although most times he does it for selfish reasons but other times he does it for the right reasons
why i say selffish reasons he might decide to take a 2nd wofe to meet his desires but that stil does not make him evil
mind u some religion and cultures permit so
come to think of, we did not invent adultery infact in nigerian traditions u can take a 2nd wife to avoid adultery and the likes.
so why do we then say the average N.Man is bad. but u know we Nigerians are unique people and highly gifted in act of brain manipulations probably u might call it that we r conning and crafty but i would say it is a naturally gift of wisdom in diverse ways. The issue was not family devotion, though I think you need to re-consider the true understanding of the value of family. Just because you stay married doesnt legitimise deception. The issue was cheating. As for your natural gift, do utilise it efficiently and pray you will not run into problems.  |
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Dido
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Brownsuga, Thanks for your advice, You guys are all right and right now I"m in the process of moving on. I hurts like hell but I know I got to do this for ME. I just hope that I can be strong enough to stick it out,  |
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BigSis (f)
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Dido,
They be fuckin'. Do you want to join in a threesome? Then why should not he, she his wife.
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adconline (m)
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First, I hate it when we easily generalize. U dealt with one naija man out of about 70 million should not lead you to conclude that the rest of 69,999,999, are bad. Some ladies are lending their support, the implication of this is that your dads, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, fiancés, uncles are all cheats. Agreed or not? Naija men are not the cause of high divorce rate in the west, which is often associated with infidelity, divorce rate 50% in the US. Naija men did not make up this data; so let our argument be holistic instead of being lopsided. http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:x8kknqHUPNMJ:www.montrealmirror.com/ARCHIVES/2003/110603/sasha.html+percentage+of+cheating+partners&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1 A Zambian, once told me about these unfounded allegations and I went home to do my research. Population of Zambia is 11,502,010 and males make up half of the population, while Lagos is above 12 million and with 50% male population and the characters of about 1 million men in Lagos do not truly describe a Nigerian. I told my Zambian friend that some bad Zambian men who often act fraudently do not reflect a true Zambian, but why is it that they do not hold Nigerians to that same standard? They truth of the matter, is that in most cases non - Nigerians expect more from Naija men and when Naija men fail to live up to that expectations, it becomes news. How often do we get stories of Naija men who are always made slaves by their Oyibo partners and spouses? Give me a break. One hundred thousand bad eggs out of 140 million people are very microscopic. I also come to know that good Naija men are not good in showing off their bling bling, therefore people may not appreciate them. You have to critically look at the premise of every relationship to know where it’s heading to. If material or monetary support was used to induce or influence someone’s sense of reasoning, it is doomed to fail. If all the men who treated you badly in this world were Nigerians, then there ought be a HAZMAT sticker for Naija men. I don’t believe in impeccability of people, human beings are bound to err and we should not put everybody in the same box. Let’s open a discussion on Naija men” How many break ups have u had and how many were Naija related” for non- Nigerian forumites |
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katherinae (f)
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chima 38
thart is the dumbest response i have ever heard, nigeiran men treat them bad because they are available, i am igbo by the way. look here majority of nigerina guys are like that and even when tehy leave their non nigerian women adn go back to their nigerian ones they still treat them taht way. we don't scold them for their actions and that is why they get away with it. girls there are many nigerian relationships where they are both very unhappy so take comfort in taht, i have met a lot of men adn i have to say nigerian men are the lowest of them all. i am very embarassed to say that. yes there are a few that marry white women and they stay forever my uncle is one, but they are few and far in between, and when they leave nad marry nigerian women, they have been soooo used up that they don't have much to offer anymore. I'm soo sorry girls but even the nigerian women are not thrilled about it, so now u see nigerian women with white men, at least those ones know how to have a good imte, unlike uptight boring nigerian men
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Brownsuga (f)
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@adconline, i agree with you, but no one is suggesting what you are suggesting.
@katherinae. Finally a self-critical N woman, who sees reality as it is!. But dear, what we are trying to understand is WHY the N man is like this?!?!!?!? What do you say?
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mochafella (m)
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girls there are many nigerian relationships where they are both very unhappy so take comfort in taht.
Shuo, is there really any comfort in that?  @katherinae. Finally a self-critical N woman, who sees reality as it is!.
Oh yeah, the rest of us are in denial aren't we? |
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superman (m)
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u must be jokin !
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kaecy5 (m)
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story story story
mind u nigerians for some years runnign are still the happiest people on earth the europeans can't give u that niether the americans anyday
u know at times when people get frustrated they tend to use anger to cover up their tracks and try to blame people for every thing negative happening to them meanwhile they sure are the root of thie problems. come to think of it why is the nigerian man so unique thay we had to create a discussion group to analyse him
the reasons are true and simple. the nigerianman knows how to stand for his right and rights of his family he isnot a boy toy as u can turn some whitty to be and he knows when to draw the line between free giving and exploitation
the average nigerian girl could be considered to be a money monger always expectingthe man to pay for dates, buy her this and that, infact making love wit her u sure of paying for it one way of the other and since we all know girls run their mouths faster than guys they also want u to feel that u need /thinkof sex more but ina research i did we both know who thinks of sex more between the guys ad gals
well madam german and B.sugar the problem both of u had are simmilar problems we all face everyday when we intentionally as adults decide to close our eyes and jump into wrong relationships intentionally we were not forced into it but because we taught some factors can be manipulated we decide to go ahead then if it does not work out we tend to throw blame round every body that is unfortunate to come your way
let me ask u this basic questions
both of u are giving adivice to a confussed lady earlier inthe thread and your so fast in sayinghe threats u badly then u should leave himalone
have u thot of 1. was he always treating u badly fromthe begining if he was then and u were still flowing with him so tellme what changed u or what changed him most probably u started nagging too much because your depressed your getting old and he can still have young chicks at will?
2. u fell in love with him form the begining when your intuition was telling u might be doing something wrong but u decided to wait it out and continue may be he might change or lets say since we all know nigerian men can be good in bed lets enjoy him for a while then we kick him out. or should we say we pretend to love him use him when we r tired we cry foul u know nigerians canplay rough?
3 one thing about love is that once one party start lossing focus he/she start acting funny and it is such so with ladies that when they can't get they wan tthey turn around and start functioning asa pest to your pocket to things around u . picking on every thing and as usual claim it is sexual harrasment that they of cause are the weaker sex and mind u at other times u still claim to be superior
4. stop bitching about nigerina men bein bad or not because we r just who we r men thrying to please u women which we all know round the world are never satisfied.
5. can women stop nagging for once then there really wouldbe world peace
next time u folks decide on picking on nigeran men u should also ask why u can't stop nagging and waggin your tongue and learn the act of keeping your man, come to think of it, u really failed your self and family u can't just know the simple tricks to keep a simple average nigerian man thats why he left u
if u need counseling buzz me and iwould tell u the basic 3 to keep your man infact let me just say it
1. be a good cook so he wont miss home that much and thinkof his mother's egusi soup
2. be a good home maker know your job as a wife/ girlfriend and mother
3. stop being a nag and learn to attack issues from various stands stop functioning your always right even if you're trick himto believe he thinks he is his idea whereas we know it is yours
a bonus point here ,- stay beautful both in looks in personality and in bed, yes bed if the sex aint good lets face fact the relationship start dying even if u have 100% in other areas u can ask bree vandicamp in desperate housewives.
enjoy
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kaecy5 (m)
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@dido Thanks for your advice, You guys are all right and right now I"m in the process of moving on. I hurts like hell but I know I got to do this for ME. I just hope that I can be strong enough to stick it out, stop blaiming some one else for your faulty actions and u sure are listening to the wrong few 1. u knew inthe begining he was not straight but u still sat still thinking u can change him and now u failed out and u think u can blame it on every body 2. have u for once sat down to consider if u had any wrong doings in the whole affair because we should stop runing too forward and point fingers at people because i tell u if i should hear his own part of the gist it may not be fair to u 3. stop walkin away. u don't fight an enemy by running away u say he is your Manchester United stick with himand fight off the enemy thats what courage is about and stop acting as a lilly livered chicken or most probably looking for an excuse to join the elite single ladies club whom we all know runfrom posts to pillars achieving nothign but hatred for the male species irrespective of where they come from 4. i put it to u that u sure contributed 50% to the failure of the relationship and stop acting like a saint 5. can't u see how caring the average nigerian man is he waits on u to read the handwritten onthe wall he does not just come out to tell u facts because he cares about u and wouldnot want to hurt u infact he can't stand your tears 6, how good really do u think u r behind close doors?  |
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Brownsuga (f)
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@kaecy5, you can say all you like. We will read and perhaps respond too.
But can not insult people who are trying to also do the same.
That is disrespectfull immatured and it is simply intolerable.
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kaecy5 (m)
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@brownsuga
i really am sorry if i insulted any one i would edit it right away
take care
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Brownsuga (f)
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thank you so much kaecy5! I will respond to all you have written asap. Now, let me get some warm food in this tummy!! lool  |
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pace (m)
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maybe we need to ask brownsugar what she wanted from the relationship and did she make known to the other party?its easy for pplp to make wild allegations and for all i know the guy aint here to tell his own story.from my experience most pplp[foreigers]don't want to respect our cutlure and traditions yet this is the very essence of our being.and please when pplp make general statements,it sucks!not all nigerians albeit africans are bad pplp,as far as am concerned there basically two kind of pplp in this crazy world,the good and bad.it's not limited to a race,religion or even sex.
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kaecy5 (m)
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PACE
i say thank u
for saying it correctly
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soulchild1 (f)
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Honestly speaking, Pace, I share your thought.
I am half-Nigerian and half-German. The relationships and marriages I have seen braking up in this country Germany - honestly speaking not be small thing.
There is no party in any marriage innocent, but someone also have to admit that Germany and Nigeria are two different cultures. In Nigeria marriage is still regarded as something precious, wonderful and something that is supposed to be everlasting. In Germany or in the western countries it is already wide-spreaded, if it doesn't work out well, we can get divorced. No one will feel kind of embarrassed or ashamed to say I am divorced now for the second or third time, they just consider it as something normal. In Nigeria, I don't want to say that marriages in Nigeria are easy, not difficult, both parties always share the same view, but at least both of them have the stamina to say "I don't want to go out and tell my parents or her parents it didn't work out, so thats why we have to work it out" and some will work it out. I just guess, some of their problems is the differences related to the two different mentalities, then a lack of communication and lack of interest for the country Nigeria. Most of the children of those marriages, don't even know how to spell Nigeria, not to talk of the fact of ever been there. So when the child hasnt gone there, then you can imagine that the wife has also not gone there. So how you do you want your husband to continue love you, when you don't share the same passion for his own country with him.
I dint want to say that Nigerian Men are angels. Definitely not. But all of us have to admit and realize that everywhere you go no matter of black, white, yellow or green, there are always black sheep's. It is just sometimes, I feel the actions of Nigerians are more painted black than other ones. The Germans also cheat on their wives, they also have affairs and be promising they will pick the stars from heaven for you, if you want them to and in the end you don't see anything (this is just what i ve seen with friends of mine, i have never dated a German o! lol) And who talks about those issues - nobody. There are also incidents of this paper marriages where the German party asks for every single action he has to take for the Nigerian to help him to stay money. Not only the money the person has to pay before he/she agrees to marry, also money during the marriage for going to the authorities and all that. So who used whom?
Why do Nigerian men end up marrying back home a Nigerian wife? I feel it has something to do with the lack of knowledge about Nigeria. I don't think it has something to do with the fact, that any Nigerian family wouldn't accept a white woman at their brothers side, it is just that most of the white women are not that interested in our culture. They don't know how to cook our food, still think we live in the forest, trek how many miles to fetch water daily and what we understand about having a real family that sticks together. So the best thing for them, instead of getting disappointed for another time, they decide to marry somebody from home, at least those ones know whats going on. I don't blame them.
I really don't want to defend any action people are taking, but we also have to try to understand some actions before we judge them. I don't mean being blind and tolerate every nonsense people do, being naive and all that, we also have to admit there are some people that are painting our name as Nigerian black. But we still have to go out and prove that not all of them are like that, we have heart and we know how to respect others and other feelings.
Well, I guess, I wrote more than a lot and though there is still a lot to say, but let me just round up for now and sorry for all the mistakes i made (i mean in spelling and in grammar).
@brownsugar: Just do me a favour, even though you had this sad experience, whenever you see a Nigerian man, don't just turn your back to them and walk away, give him chance. Not everybody is the same, otherwise this world would be terrible boring.
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Dido
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Kaecy5, I am not blaming anyone for my actions; I’m not the one that did wrong in the relationship either. FYI, I did not know that he was “not straight,” he came off as being a sweet person but I guess that’s the perfect example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Secondly, I never once thought that I could have changed him, I’ve learnt over time that you cannot change a man even if you give him the world. I “hoped” that he would change but I was not trying to make him into someone he’s not. You are right I can’t put the full blame on him I blame myself too for being stupid for 4 years to put up with all his nonsense, but that’s just my personality. I believe in giving people chances and I guess I gave this jerk one chance to many. I’m only going to take blame for trying to hard to make the relationship work and if you want to classify that as “nagging” for which I have heard so many times from him well so be it, but only COWARDS use that word nagging because they are not MEN enough to converse about relationship issues. I cannot imagine a grown man not being able to talk about any problems in a relationship and their avoidance is a first sign of guilt and deception. The thing about some men is that they are too dumb to realize that being silent about issues is not proving how clever they are, it only proves that some of them are to stupid to even come up with an excuse for their actions. About sticking around and fighting off the enemy, I think I’ve done all that I can to make this men realize how much I love him, the only person with demons is himself. He needs to sit down and reevaluate himself and realize that if he wants to end up with a woman that is worthwhile, he will have to change his ways. Don’t get me wrong he is a sweet person it’s just his ways that he needs to consider changing. The truth is with an attitude like that, he can only end up with a dumb stupid girl who is either desperate for love, can’t do any better or use him. Simple. I may not be a full bloom saint, because I can get freaky in the bed , but I damn sure know that he would NEVER find another woman who was so willing to do the shit I have with and for him. Women of today are not like women of yesterday, and I consider myself a woman of yesterday, because I go all out for my men not sit down and wait for him to bring home a dollar and not care how hard he is out there bursting his ass to care for his family. I guess that’s what I needed to become to win his heart. |
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Proton (m)
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Brownsuga
I am close to concluding that not only have you arrived at state of mind that most N.men are liars,but methodically now steers the wheel of this big trailer (thread) to gather support for a one- time experience.
This distortion, by a learned young woman (most likely pretty as well), has a dangerous and damaging effect. Both for N.men and non- N.women : those yet to find happiness or love in N.men ; those already in love/marriage, and lastly but sad, those broken relations, that find consolation in this train of thought . In following this mindframe, little reflection is made on wher one went wronge, to learn from such.
People all over fall out of love for various reasons. Men or women. I really pray you let it go, so to put attention on the next Mr. Right. Sincerely, something tells me the next guy will likely be a Nigerian(maybe the same guy in question).
Haven read this whole thread, I seriously think "SoulChild1" presentation, summarised
it the BEST. Please try reading her post again.
Peace.
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somegirl (f)
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@soulchild1:
Since you're Nigerian-German, you'll probably have heard of Susanne Wenger, abi? She's just one of the white woman who does not fit your description of "most of the white women".
All the white women I know who are married to a Nigerian are interested in his country, culture, food, language etc. They often take great efforts to learn all of this (which is not that easy here; just think of the many Nigerian children born in the Diaspora who speak no Nigerian language and complain how difficult it is to have to LEARN them now). And then there are the white women and men who are interested in and maybe even love Nigeria who are not married to a Nigerian but who still wish to get to know the country and its people. You nko? You speak a Nigerian language? Know how to cook Nigerian dishes? If you're Yoruba, do you kneel for your elders? As a woman, do you know that your kid brother-in-law traditionally might be your senior in the family (Seun mentioned it somewhere)? What do you know about Olodumare, Obatala and Oduduwa? Will they have to tell you to remove your shoes and walk backwards at the entry of the Osun Osogbo Festival or will you know and oblige by yourself? Etc., etc. ---
PS: But I DEFINITELY agree that it is not always the Nigerian man's fault and only seldom (or never?) his fault alone.
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somegirl (f)
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Something else: I know of at least one European girl who, in Nigeria, kneeled when greeting Yoruba people senior to her --- and she had a Yoruba boyfriend who consistently did NOT prostrate. |
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kaecy5 (m)
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@soulchild1 i think i should i buy u a beer although i don't drink for preaching to b.sugar to open up her heart because u sure hit the nail at the right spot basically have we tot of it this way that most nigerian men run from non-nigerian womenfor various reasons aprt from culture differences. what about communication differences for instance a briton joke may not be amusin to a nigerian and a regular warri joke wont trip no whitty so come to think of it how many nigerian guy involve with foreigners are really happy? u sure can count them they r few marriage is all about compatibility. i am compatible to u in many ways and forms. we sure should be thinking alike sounding alike reasoning alike and stuff like that infact what thrills u should of course thrill me. theni ask the question again germanlady and b.suga do u reall really would say the truth that u sure had 100% communication with ur nigerian guy ? or u assumed u did and probably talk only about sex because if it is just sex it sure becomes boring after a while. and if u did have good communication u would know when he is lying my girl knows when i want to lie or distort the truth because we sure have good communication and she had really understudied me most probably because she is a nigerian enjoy |
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soulchild1 (f)
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@somegirl: Sorry, I havent heard about Susan Wenger or at least I can't remember now. But to make things clear - I don't want to say at all that Germans or Non-Nigerians married to a Nigerian generally lack of interest for our country and as you quoted me right already, I said "most of the white" and that simply means there are also some exceptions. I would put everybody in the same box like others do with Nigerians and especially it would also means that I have to deny my own mum, because she also knows how to cook the Nigerian dishes, she wears native, does braiding, speaks even my Dad's mothers tongue (more than just some few words) and so many other things and always has great interest for the country Nigeria - in fact she considers it as her own country too and this love and affection she has for Nigeria, she passed it over to all of my sisters and brothers together with my Dad. And we are now the one travelling every year for a couple of weeks to Nigeria. In fact i just returned not up to two weeks from Nigeria. Yes, I do know how to kneel down for my elders, cook Nigerian dishes and it is not only the Yoruba's that kneel down for their elders, also in other parts of Nigeria. Yes, I also speak some few words of my Dad's mothers tongue and most of it thought me my mum. I know quite some things about Nigeria and quite some traditions, not only due to the fact, that I was brought up that way, also because i regard them as effective and compulsory. Finally it always depends on the level of commitment, how do you want to commit yourself to your life partner/husband/wife, the level of communication, understanding for one another, also knowing your partner (I mean it is not possible to know your partner from head till toe, even if you think you do, but to know him as in that you know the way he thinks), knowing his background and definitely it also has something to do with your own family and some certain traditions every country has and every family still sticks to. Some of the country stick more to their tradition compared to others. For example I have seen all this in Nigeria. In Germany they don't do any introduction before marriage. They might get engaged, but this ceremony will be held in private and is only hardly celebrated with the family. Women and Men share the kitchen and housework here in Europe, depending on the arrangement people have with their partners and what interest they have. I don't want to say that men are not capable of cooking or wont have the interest for cooking, it is just that i wasnt brought up that way, that doesnt man it can't be good. It is all a matter of arrangements, understanding and especially communication. Many marriages are divorced due to the fact that it came to a stage where they had nothing to say or laugh about and this can happen, no matter of black married to white or green to yellow or pink to purple. It is a general problem that can be avoided. Well, but all of us have to admit, the experience brownsuga made, is not an experience that can only happen when you date a Nigerian Man. Definitely not. It can happen with anybody. Surely it is not a nice experience, but sometimes things happen for other things to happen. Thats just life and everything has a reason. In that sense, I wish all of you guys a wonderful weekend. |
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somegirl (f)
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Soulchild1, thanks for sharing your experience! I just wanted to make clear that it is not EVERY white woman who is disinterested in her husband's culture, language, food, etc. I know you didn't say that but I'm glad we have mentioned the other side explicitly now (because some of the other members might not know). between, your family sounds really lovable. In respect to the kneeling, the reason why I said "if you're Yoruba" was because you might have been Igbo or belonging to any other ethnicity that does not call this custom their own. I think, personally, I would not mind if I did most of the cooking (unless I had a really demanding job) because I enjoy cooking and especially to regale the ones I love with delicious and experimental dishes. On the other hand, I don't mind a guy in the kitchen and would actually appreciate his company there. My (ex)boyfriend made me some fried egg once. It was so sweet! Well, but all of us have to admit, the experience brownsuga made, is not an experience that can only happen when you date a Nigerian Man. Definitely not. It can happen with anybody. Yes, one shouldn't generalize (I don't remember though whether she did or not). |
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kaecy5 (m)
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well the issue at hand is simple, B.suga states Nigerian men are cheat either directly or indirectly
she did not say some or most nigerian men. which we allknow gives room for probability
am sure taking this personal because i am a nigerian man and i have friends that are men and they sure aint no players
well the polity we come from tends to fine tune us to live in reality in one form or the other
learning to adapt explicity to every situation and to every people we meet in our lives be it chinese american etc, as we well know people differ in culture, attitudes and directions
like i would always say humans are vectors they all have magnitude and direction is not a problem to locate
i normally draw my inferences form things and people around me and i have promised my self even in another world to come i would never marry a non nigerian because presently in this world i should be marrying my girl friend later because i sure love her. now u might ask why i said never the answer is simple
i have got a cousin that got married to a german lady, infact i just wonder why it has to be germans that i always run into negatively. after a few year about 2 years the lady came back to nigeria with him and their daugther. she stayed for a month or so een went down to the vialleg did the regular routine of trying to know the people and the culture wow every body was tripping we so excited that the lady was reall
the he went back some years later he said it is time to come back home - then situations change the lady absolutely refused to come back home to reside with her husband claiming in their deal living in nigeria was not part of it. she called it quits and went away with their 8 year old daughter.well he came back to nigeria later got married to some one else 3 years later because he realised nohope withthe german lady
no u tell me who actually used who?
i have come to realised that when the ngierian men are married to foreigners and they reside with the foreigners in her own country every body is a t peace but once they decide to come back to nigeria thats the begining of problems.
infact from some of my friends and cousins married to foreigners i would give 2 thumbs up to the ladies from eastern europe. those ladies would sure come backe with u and stay with u alltheir lives. but the other few from the west and the americans u sure have to quite convincing enough to be able to convince them to come down with u because they still her the perception we all live oni trees and hop like monkeys even whenthe lady in question is black.
soulchild i could put it to u that ur parents have got a wonderful relationship because ur mom saw to it that she was in love with ur dad and thats why she could move in and out with him and they r still up but come to say the truth most modern non nigerian ladies still don't live in reality. shouldi be insultive to say they most are a bunch of lilly livered lazy fellows so weak to fight out their marriage and covering under the guise of women liberation and rights of woamn hood in which u quarrel we call it quits after all the law backs us up we make more money , he runs in debts to pay child support and stuff liek that, we keep saying its ok it is live we move on but no average nigerian is ready to part wth his family even if they r not at peace anyday
@soemgirl it is not all about learnign the culture it is about deep down conviction am i really ready to come down and live with this nigerian guy all the rest of my life, wth no electricity no water no computers no internet thats in worst case senarios or as long as we r away fromhis home then am in love with him?
well i have always had problems in choosing a girl friend not just because there aint no fine or wonderful ladies about it is simply because my criterium in selection is cooking. i knwo am a hell wonderful cook so good that i lecture soem girls that care to learn, now for me i saw it that my wife should be better than me in that aspect of life, well not that am saying women are relagated to cook but most times, the fact still remains women spend more time cooking for thei families than most men do , whcih leads to the question how many non nigerian women that are dating nigerianguys can really really cook standard nigerian foods?
infact let me share u ona secret the easiet way to get a nigerian guy is through his stomach if u can replace his home cooking in perfect form u have him for keeps.
to all u ladies that feel u have been betrayed by a nigerian guy at one point or the other lets comes to think of it do u or would u have really luved him to the point of relocating with him? cooking his type of foods? stopp complainign of equality and stunts alike? wont run away after one quarrel and quit because ur chicken livred?
another secret: u can whip a man to do what ever u wants just trick him around and make him feel it is his idea u sure would have a wonderful life together.
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somegirl (f)
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Kaecy5, some say an international relationship is a meeting of two cultures. I would say it is a meeting of two people influenced to a greater or lesser extent by two different cultures. Let me explain. Some Yoruba kneel and others don't. So, one has decided to carry on with the custom while the other one has thrown it over board. Some Nigerians mind if cooking is split equally between the partners and some might not. The trick, in my opinion, is to sit down and talk and talk so that you know what to expect from each other in a relationship. In my opinion, if your cousin and his German wife had agreed NOT to move to Nigeria to live there permanently or even "just" for a longer duration, than she was totally in her right to say that she didn't want to go. And your cousin should not have been surprised if he had agreed with her in the beginning. Even if a young girl enthusiastically and without ever having been anywhere like Nigeria has announced that she will follow her man till the end of the world, I would not scold her if she could not bear Nigeria. It is not that it is a horrible country but it is very different from Europe and she will always be a member of visible minority group there which is not too nice.
I myself, born and bread in Europe, cannot expect the man I love to resettle to Europe permanently because he told me from the beginning how much he loves Nigeria and that he intends to stay there. However, we always talked about him coming here for a few years to study and to make some international experience. I on the other hand told him that I love Nigeria too, that I don't know if I could live there permanently but that I would at least try. In this regard, we both know what we can expect of the other person.
But let me cut this short. I still need to do some cooking because the brother of the man I love will come in a short time to help me move and I want him to eat some nice food in the break. If you want I can tell you later how he liked it. Last time, at least, when I had picked him up from the airport, he loved it. So, oya, I got to go ---
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kaecy5 (m)
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i can see u r a good cook
oya enjoy o jarre
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harvey (m)
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hi all,
I've heard all what ya all have being been saying.its really a Good topic.first am a Nigerian man by birth and blood and proud to be.the mistake you Non Nigerian ladiesout there make is that you aredown with the wrong Nigerian men,the irresponsible ones who areout there in Europe America where ever hustling try to save their sorry ass.i hate to know that men out there are messing us up.You have to know that Illiteracy is a barrier and most guys who are like that are those into drugs,fraud andall that shit because they don't want a decent life,they want it quick.you have to examine the Nigerian Manchester United are or willing to go out with properly,before u give him a yes,also u don't just have to throw youself at him just because u like him.play expensive a little,so he knows your worth.The average Educated Enlightened Nigerian man isn't what you ladies out there think.because they've got to live a decent life and not to play on other peoples feelings.I'm a Nigerian Man but don't fall into this category u ladies are placing Nigerian men.I'm very vulnerable when it comes to loving someone and i don't want to sound like am good but trust me work on the tip i gave u ladies and it sure will do magic.because most Nigerians out there in Europe or wherever without a degree and who do not intend to have any are desperate andwill do anything just to have a good life at the expense of the innocent Non-Nigerian lady.
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Dapso
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I'm a Nigerian and proud to be one. You need to get it straight that Nigerians hate havinglady's that will become liablity latter in life. Moreover, ladies without good moral upbringings. Men in general will take good study of you, if you present yourself so cheap, they will take advantage of you only to dump you because you don't meet up with the critaria. The same thing goes for ladies. Finally, it is a common phenomenom all over the world, becaude we are all human, and stop labelling Nigerian black.  |
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somegirl (f)
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Hi Kaecy5, thanks for the probably undeserved compliment. I'm still experimenting and learning. If I just could ever get as good as my grandmum. But she is a wizzard in the kitchen, how should I ever reach her level? As for the day, it was very demanding and stressful. However, my sweetheart's brother is just a such uplifting guy. He always can say something that makes me think that there is hope after all.  Let's see --- good that school is keeping me busy now! |
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lradnur (f)
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I am a african american woman. I have dated several Nigerian men, both of whom were married. They are married to Nigerian women. They totally disrespect them, they talk about them and put them down about their weight and family. They are doctors and politicians. As much as I enjoy the intimate interaction, I would not be able to trust them enough to marry them. I am not the only woman they are having extra affairs with. Most of the men they associate with cover for each other. I have to admit, the >>X is great, the attention is great, but that is all I am seeking from them. I have a good time with them and that is all. I really feel for their spouses, they would be blind not to know what is going on. Any women in America who is married to a Nigerian man look for the signs. They are sneeky.
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superman (m)
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but hey hey come on what now 21 century is it hmmmm!
there are many men out there many many! why is it just retricted to nigerian men. as a matter of fact rite former us president bang a lot in his office if u care to know!
i think all the nigerians out there should be wary of these AA men! ha i lie ha
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soulchild1 (f)
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I know that this is the website of Nairaland and the majority of user are Nigerians. But this topic has turned to out to be or I just gain the impression of how many stories can we gather together that paints Nigerian men black.
@Iradnur:
Just some few questions: Is it only Nigerians that cheat on their wives or girlfriends? I don't need to guess, but definitely NO! Is it only Nigerians that tell their wives or girl that she added weight? I think, definitely no, I even think husbands telling their wives that she has grown fat or so, is even more common in the western world, where everybody tries to look like the whole models in Paris.
If you really judge their actions, them being disrespectful to their wives and family and cheating on them. Why did you start dating in them in the first place or lets say going out with them after you discovered their character.
To me, you partially supported some of their actions you are know complaining about. Because to me hanging out with such a person means you share partially the same view with him or don't have a problem with his behaviour and he will see it as a kind of support of his action.
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