|
candylips (m)
|
soulchild1 u don talk everything  |
|
|
|
|
|
soulchild1 (f)
|
thanx candylips |
|
|
|
|
|
somegirl (f)
|
Well spoken, Soulchild!  |
|
|
|
|
|
Brownsuga (f)
|
@Proton. It is remarks like these that discourage me from writing anymore. In fact eversince i started this thread, i have been made to feel guilty for starting the whole topic in the first place. You can make your own conclusions, but i don't like to be misunderstood. As for the distorted image of the N man that is already out there in the world, i didnt create that in just one month. Or did i now?
That this thread has turned out to "a big trailer", is beyond my comprehension too. But i am happy that people, both N and non-N, have taken their time to comment. I doubt that i will end up with the same N man again. I doubt it very much.
No, you are wrong, alot of reflection has been made and is still been made. I personally learned alot from this rship and from this thread. You will never know how much.
Peace to you too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Proton (m)
|
I hesitate to reply above post for days, so hopefully this thread dies a natural death. On reverse thought, I realise I owe Niaralander a response. So I put it down with no fan fair this way:
@ Brownsuga
The distortion of the N. Man and Africa at large has been delibrate and ongoing , perpertuated by Western doings to achieve a common goal:
divide and conquer; blacks cannot get it right; set the populace in disarray by demonising;
ultimately bringing down the fibre of oneness and understanding. Result? Stolen wealth.
YES, you did not create this. I hope you do not want to be associated with this.
However, the danger here is YOU, as a journalist and a black person, living in the Western world do not help these issues. More disturbing is the fact that YOU are an atticulate doughter of a Nigeria man. This is one interesting( is it?) fact you failed to disclose on this
thread,but posted in one other. I wonder why. Well, this was one reason I suggest "one look at where one(things) went wronge"
Respectfully,my take was and is, while seeking advice to know why N.men act the way they do, having an open mind to answers will accelerate your healing process for this encounter or future rship. Quoting "Soulchild1" again,it would "be a boring world", to let one person's action throw you into a bismal state of mistrust for all. As I am writing this, I,m convinced that there is a nice guy around you now, that tries to capture your attention, but cannot get a greenlight. Let it go. Men, you are too good. Just my 2cent.
PS. I,m not a subscriber Heaven and Hell doctrine. The two are here on earth.
-----Nairalanders--- this has been a great thread full with infos and ideas. I just hope no more dissing. I,m out!
|
|
|
|
|
|
BINTIKENYA
|
N MEN,look nice, claim to be very cultured but abuse anything good that comes their way,nothing cultured about that to me,just another form of akata.
Its true they want to date internationally then marry at home,I say its good because I could not imagine being the wife of these kind of men,yet the women from Nigeria act like they are soo lucky to have them esp when they think they stole him from you!!Anyway,birds of a feather flock together,no difference between the player men and women.They should stick together.
They think thats being smart,its inhuman,and mediocrity.Nothing manly about hurting women,it could be your sister,mother,and may it happen to your daughter one day if you do it to other peoples daughters!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
mrmayor (m)
|
BINTIKENYA, What are you talking about?  . Please tell us about Kenyan men |
|
|
|
|
|
adeboo (f)
|
Its true to say that men will be men whatever age, race or creed.
To say all Nija men are bad is generalisation and thats bad. I have South African friends and they complain about their men too.
However, what i always say is if you are going to marry a man of whatever tribe as long as he is not from yours, try and get closer to people from his tribe to know what kind of person he is.
Its not a new thing Nija men using that age old lie that they are 'separated' they have always used that and will always use that. So its nothing new.
|
|
|
|
|
|
GNature (m)
|
N MEN,look nice, claim to be very cultured but abuse anything good that comes their way Have you experienced this first hand or are you just going by hear say ? Because what you have written could apply to any man around the world. |
|
|
|
|
|
honeric01 (m)
|
Well first and foremost, i think this topic is cool and educative. since most people that are commenting on this topic claim to be from outside Nigeria or non Nigerian, i would want you guys to know that being a Nigerian, as in being a nigerian man does not mean you would be 100% good or 100% bad, all you need to say is that the ones you have been able to meet maybe due to the type of luck you have are the worst Nigerian men you have ever met! probably maybe the way you addressed yourself added to why you met such Nigerians.
i am not trying to make anyone feel bad or think they are unfortunate, but i want you to know that Nigerian men if you look carefully are loving and nice not really meaning that all from Nigeria are good! but if you come to Nigeria and then weigh how many married people that got married in recent times and then the ones that divorced and the one still living together for better and for worst, you would be surprised to see what 85% are still living together, if you go through the whole world and then compare married couples and those that have divorced, you would see that Nigerian men or couple rather are fast better than most countries of the world, you can prove me wrong.
Countries like USA, UK Germany Russia and any other countries of the world, they change wives and hubby like changing clothes, some even do that as if its a way of life because of how the system works, how they grew up to know life. most of them were raised by a single parent, i give you all that task, go and check em out and then come here with your statistic to prove me wrong,
we have stupid and senseless men in Nigeria, but at the same time, we have the best and most loving Men in the world and i my Dad was a living proof, he was married to my mom for 30 years before he died and so is every relatives of mine, no sign of divorce around me, never experienced any,
so please until you change your mentality, you will keep meeting useless and careless men as you would meet from anywhere in the world.
|
|
|
|
|
|
honeric01 (m)
|
Well first and foremost, i think this topic is cool and educative. since most people that are commenting on this topic claim to be from outside Nigeria or non Nigerian, i would want you guys to know that being a Nigerian, as in being a nigerian man does not mean you would be 100% good or 100% bad, all you need to say is that the ones you have been able to meet maybe due to the type of luck you have are the worst Nigerian men you have ever met! probably maybe the way you addressed yourself added to why you met such Nigerians.
i am not trying to make anyone feel bad or think they are unfortunate, but i want you to know that Nigerian men if you look carefully are loving and nice not really meaning that all from Nigeria are good! but if you come to Nigeria and then weigh how many married people that got married in recent times and then the ones that divorced and the one still living together for better and for worst, you would be surprised to see what 85% are still living together, if you go through the whole world and then compare married couples and those that have divorced, you would see that Nigerian men or couple rather are fast better than most countries of the world, you can prove me wrong.
Countries like USA, UK Germany Russia and any other countries of the world, they change wives and hubby like changing clothes, some even do that as if its a way of life because of how the system works, how they grew up to know life. most of them were raised by a single parent, i give you all that task, go and check em out and then come here with your statistic to prove me wrong,
we have stupid and senseless men in Nigeria, but at the same time, we have the best and most loving Men in the world and i my Dad was a living proof, he was married to my mom for 30 years before he died and so is every relatives of mine, no sign of divorce around me, never experienced any,
so please until you change your mentality, you will keep meeting useless and careless men as you would meet from anywhere in the world.
|
|
|
|
|
|
hannydarl (f)
|
Sisters let us tell ourselves the truth even if the bros will deny it most of our men are big cheats and we all know it. lets forget that they are our brothers .we know how dificult it is to find a typical nigerian man who will appreciate a womans love.No sister in niger will tell me that the rotten men here are not more than the good ones lets forget emmotion and face the fact most nigerian men will tell you sweet words i heard they even carry drinks to a girls house and when they get what they want off they go especialy those ones abroad we don't have to deny the truth because they are nigerian men.All these women are saying is niger men should stop telling lies when they are on heat. if the relationship is not heading anywhere don't say otherwise i believe a girl prefers it if the man avoids marriage topic then she will decide for herself wether to stay or go and it wont hurt her so much but when she is told that marriage is on the way only to hear another story then the hurt is more.Most nigerian men don't appreciate good girls always; especialy when they feel they are not ready for serious commitment the only apreciation they will show is to take their cut and tell her kindly that they don't think they are good enough for her that is after they must have taken their cut o:they don't play too much with her because they feel she is "good"now i don't seee that as been caring.Now they are complaining of a trend among our niger brothers and we are here defending them sitting other nationals as bad too but let us remember that was how 419 started among nigerians and we waved it off saying nigerians are not the only ones doing it but it is telling on us when we want visas to travel out verry soon the bad eggs among our men will spoil show for innocent nigeran men who fall in love with white women maybe very soon foriegn countries wont wed nigerian men with their white sisters without carrying out embarassing background checks all because our 'sharp' brothets don shit for church.
|
|
|
|
|
|
mrmayor (m)
|
HannyDarl,
I will never deny that Nigerian men cheat on their partners but in which culture that men don't cheat.On the pages of Nigerian newspapers from The Sun Newspapers to Lagos weekend you can read stories of betrayal from men and women and that's Naija vs Naija.It happens so get over it.
Ifyou can,please tell us the rate men from other nations cheat when compare to Nigerian men,in Ireland divorce rate is almost 40% and the main reason given is infidelity on the part of both couples,if you dated a Non_Nigerian man tell your experience wheather or not the man has cheated on you.
Those who had the opportunity of watching the TV Show Cheaters can confirm that everyone cheats White,Black,Yellow,blue and yes including Nigerian men and women
|
|
|
|
|
|
EfeT (m)
|
hi brownsugga,
sorry for your experience, however, most people seems to generalize anything that has to do with the Nigeria MAN, must we always think that because it was done by a single Nigerian, therefore everybody is guilty? Even in US and Europe all these things happens, the other day I was watching Jerry Springer Show, what I observed about Americans is better left for ones imagination, this does not mean I am holding a brief for Nigerian Men, but to say that Nigerian Men are made like that will be illogical and absurd.
|
|
|
|
|
|
BINTIKENYA
|
@mrmayor, am only responding to the topic of the moment,non-nigerian women speak. i will tell you about kenyan men when the non-kenyan women post a topic on them. check the topic title  And please listen to your own kind if not to me,HANNYDARL has a good point,don't dismiss her,and here we go again losing our culture,just because its on cheaters and statistics show that in other western nations divorce is on the rise does not make it ok for we Africans to accept it. Family is all we have to treasure and to dissolve that will be to damage a system that needs alot of fixing.The west already has a system in place to take care of broken families-child support,welfare,free education and healthcare,section 8,financial assistance,credit etc,!What about us?Who or what can we fall back on? YOU MEN BETTER WAKE UP AND STAND IN THE GAP! |
|
|
|
|
|
hannydarl (f)
|
mr mayor I'm not argueing that other men don't cheat i am only wondering why majourity of nigerians who go abroad use the hearts of foreign women as a ladder to achieve their selfish aim?afterall there are foreigners here why are our women not complaining about them afterall men are the same everywhere the difference with the foreigners here is that we all know they hardly marry from here so girls that date them know what they want and the guys also know what to expect that way no one can complain
|
|
|
|
|
|
muchbabe (f)
|
Yes some Nigerian men hav issues but u can't just taint all nigerian men based on some experiences
i know most of u will say ur not generalising but readin through this thread, the dominant thing someone will pick up is that nigerian men are bad,
oh so nigerian men don't get lied to or cheated on by foreign women huh? i know of cases that this happens, some of the women call the police to come arrest the guy, even some have been deported because of the women in their lives.
Men and women all over the world have issues but its sad that nigerian men get called out most of the time.
lik i said before, goin through this thread all i got was bad vibes and disses to nigerian men,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
salvation
|
Most guys can be very inhuman at times.How do u explain a guy telling a girl all the sweet and nice things about her,and that he would marry her,but deep inside him he knows exactly what he wants-to take advantage of her. Thats a wicked act and a heart that has no conscience and fear of God. I'm also bothered when i see ladies blindly accepting such fantacies. http://eaglesdigestmag.com |
|
|
|
|
|
ladykavian
|
Well, I have to say that throughout this topic, nobody has actually answered the question or why Nigerian men do what they do to women, I happen to be in a relationship with a Nigerian man right now, and some of the things said hit close to home, and when confronted about them, he lied. I now know from personal experience that it is true. I am sorry to say that. I loved him, and he abused that, how can that be forgiven or forgotten? And maybe you men can give some incite, how can us ladies avoid having our hearts broken, is there any advice you would be willing to share?
|
|
|
|
|
|
mrmayor (m)
|
Ladykavan,
You didn't,t say which culture or country you come from but my guess is your "country men" never lied or cheated on you,your friends or anybody you know!
All the women who have complained about Nigerian men have not bothered to tell us how saintly their men are,how caring,loving,romantic their fathers,brothers,uncles,nephews and friends are to their mates.
How many Nigerian men have been heartbroken by foreign women?I'm sure Naija men who have dated women from outside our culture and country have stories to tell.
|
|
|
|
|
|
ladykavian
|
mrmayor-
I am an American woman, and you are right, our men are not perfect in any respect. That is why i now believe that men are the same in every culture. It hurts to say that, because I was hoping that men who were brought up in a different culture would have a better outlook on how to treat a woman. I have found this to be completely untrue.
|
|
|
|
|
|
naijaway (m)
|
Nigerian men are the best if they truly love you. Is not when you 'r too fat or sleep alot with other people then u expect a naija man to be with you for life. A nigerian man likes an honest and loyal female like his culture has presented him not otherwise; The only problem is that some nigerian women are too fake that we always have to lie(sike) to get them which then follows us anywhere we go. My advice is that you come to Festac town and some other cities to meet real Nigerian men only that alot of them might have fiancees but they will let u know. My point is that not all is that way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
vronnie (f)
|
Brownsugar, first I'm not Nigerian I'm African American second, all men lie .I'm currently dating a Nigerian man . I have some of the same experiences with my Nigerian man that i have had with afro-American men. And yes the stereotyping of Nigerian men is very common in the afro-American and the Caucasian dating experience so you just have to make wise decisions.
|
|
|
|
|
|
mrmayor (m)
|
@VRONNIE,
Thanks.Atleast someone is making sense here,infedelity is the main reason of break up of relationships around the world,its not unique to Nigeria,men or women
|
|
|
|
|
|
naijaway (m)
|
everyone cheats not only naija men; a thing to note is that we have a fairly low divorce rate am not talking of monogamy or pologamy but even with that we still rank low in divorce and rank one of the highest in parental responsibility and care. Not a lot of statistics but there's visible proof.
We just know this game and not just that but also having masters in it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
big_bumper (f)
|
Wow, this thread that was supposedly intended to provide an ear-bashing, eye-opening, revelation about Nigerian men in diaspora and their cheating ways, has unsurprisingly degenerated into the typical, trite, trash usually spouted by the scorned, sour, bitter, non-nigerian females, about the other woman the Nigerian princess. Due to the induced stupor caused by the monotonous drone of the non-nigerian females, who kept on going on and on like a broken record, it did not come as a surprise intelligent contributors like mrmayor and elidegreat, who were initially on the same side of the coin, did not know when they turned on each other (woman wrapper you know yourself ). Nigerian men were labelled . . . (to be continued) |
|
|
|
|
|
big_bumper (f)
|
Having gone through the thread with a fine toothed comb, Nigerian men (THE
CULPRIT) were labelled as unfaithful liars and cheats, backward africans with backward thinking, backward behaviour and backward society, for whom exploitation and corruption and rampant poverty prevail, whilst the Nigerian women, the AFRICAN QUEEN ( mind you the only crime we
committed was that we got the ring) were labelled thus gullible submissive fat uneducated chattels not independent stay at home to cook, clean and have children love of money housemaid dull in bed not strong-willed obey our man's every whim and fancy don't work brought up to think being a woman is a disadvantage dumb stupid scared of being labelled a promiscuous nasty whore stiff angelic christian wife thinks our p*ssy is on a pedestal desperate for love can't do better our men disrespects us our men puts us down we are crap in bed THE MIND BOGGLES INDEED. WHO OFFENDED YOU AGAIN?  |
|
|
|
|
|
eeman (f)
|
@ sugerbabe, i feel you.
Lets be realistic and face the facts as they are.
Most niaja guys go abraod to seek "greener pastures", some are illegal immegrants and do all things posible to get papers to stay abroad. including geting a foreign wife maenwhile most of them have wives back home.
comeon lets stop being defensive and be realistic.
Those women abroad are human and noone likes being used.
I know a case of a man who brought home his german wife and introduced the niaja wife as his "sista".
If it hurts so much then niaja men change ur user ways.
|
|
|
|
|
|
ATLANTA96 (m)
|
[b]but why is it just nigeria, nigeria alone, ahhhhhhhhhhh
u all should take it easy other africans guys do thesame too,
but why all eyes on nigeria men today tomorrow nigeria weman,
every relationship is a game. if u play ur game fine, u will win,
listen the problem is that a lot of people don't konw the different between love
and infatuation and lust. they miss up everything, if u take ur time u will really know
when u r loved and in love, men use weman and dump them so weman too use alot of
men and dump them, this happen everywhere in the world but why is nigeria men the
devil u know, [/b]
|
|
|
|
|
|
ebeledi (m)
|
what a stupid lady who ever started the thread
because a nigerian guy broke her heart that means all naija man be like that
the lady is very foolish i have to adimit
its just like me meeting a cock sucking east african and thinking all of them our like that
very stupid lady especially knowing nigeria has over 150 ethnicities
i guess each ethnicity acts the same
foolish ashawo
|
|
|
|
|
|
ATLANTA96 (m)
|
NO MIND THE LADY SHE WANT TELL THE WORLD SAY
SHE DONE TEXT NIGERIA GUY,
THE THING REALLY SWEET PASS PAPPER SOUP.
IF THE GUY COME BACK SHE GO SAY MODUPE
BUT AS E NEVER COME NA A WONLAMUOO,
EVERY AFRICAN WANT TEXT NIGERIA GUY BCOX
THEY BELIEVE THAT WE ARE THE BEST IN EVERYTHING,
NA UR WASTE GO BROKE THIS TIME, NO BE UR HEART
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
