Nigerian Men, Sex And Affairs: Non-nigerian Women Speak

nods .

Hi, this is a very interesting topic of discussion indeed. Perhaps I should share my experience with all of you.

I am a Thai married to a Yoruba man for 3 years now and we are residing in Melbourne right now. Marriage was never on my mind before as I was too occupied with pursuing my goals. Also I was enjoying the carefree life I was leading and thought that commitment would bore me down. I was skeptical about befriending him especially after listening to all the talks about the imfamous Nigerian men and the scams or affairs they are asscociated with but I guess I am the adventurous sort who prefer to live by experience. Afterall no venture, no gain. Hence we got close and decided to get married. We did the traditional wedding in Nigeria by the way.

Things were definitely hard in the beginning as we had to accommodate each other especially where lifestyle and culture are concerned. An accountant by profession, making money has always been my husband's top priority hence I tend to feel neglected whenever he has to undertake big projects assigned to him. Sometimes as a woman, I do suspect he might be keeping a woman behind my back and most of the times our arguments sparks due to my jealousy but as times go by and as I learn to understand him better, I am able to trust him and curb my jealousy.

I believe every relationship is a gamble regardless of who your partner is. Sex and affairs are happening everywhere in the world and it does not constitute to Nigerian men alone. I guess one has to take extra risk when she decides to have a relationship with someone outside her own race. So long as there is love and trust between both parties, you should be able to go through any obstacle that comes your way.

My advice when dealing with Nigerian men; do not expect public display of affection and TLC (tender, loving, care) when their heads are thinking of making money. On the other hand, when things are well with them, they can be really romantic especially when they are alone with you. If he is really in love with you, he would be very proud to show you off to everybody and listen to what you say, even though they can have their strong opinion on the subject matter.

the only point am going to add here
will be that nigerian men were the most romantic person on earth,if you can do the following things:

Respect him for being a man, before being your lover.
Appreciate whatever he gives to you, even though you expected more.
Talk nicely about his sibling and friends, even when his not around.
Don't  always say no whenever he wants sex, unless you have better excuse than am not in the mood. If not you've just reduce his affection for you.
Finally, never be possessive of a nigerian man, give him freedom of movement, and his conscience will do the rest.
If you can follow all this steps, then you've being blessed with one of the romantic, and caring being on earth. NAIJA REAL MAN.

If Nigerian men are so terrible, why do you care? Why not just move on and date men from your own country? Why come to a Nigerian forum and dog Nigerian men and in the process insult Nigerian women? We are fat, desperate for love, submissive, dependent? Where did you people get that? Have you ever been to Nigeria? Most Nigerian women work. A huge number are well educated, with more than one degree. Even the uneducated women work to contribute to the family's income. Irrespective of their level of education, they work hard, trading or farming to earn a living. Most of my friends are married, raising children, working at professional jobs and studying for second or third degrees. Nigerian woman are slim, fat, tall or short, just like other women from other parts of the world. We are beautiful and fashionable. We take care of our homes, our husbands and our children. We respect our men but we are not footmats. We appreciate them even though not all are fulsome and extravagant in the expression of their feelings for us. Don't tell yourself he left a fat old hag at home and is chasing after your gorgeous self, to make yourself feel better. You were played, just like millions of women all over the world are played. Rant and rave all you want but don't insult Nigerian women in the process. We will keep our men, thank you very much, despite all their faults (real and imagined), and we would not exchange them for anyone else. Perhaps you should start to appreciate men from your own country.

one thing I do know if nothing elese. Nigerian men want a women who is submissive,who loves God and who represents him in the best way.That's one thing I know.If you give them some ass then your ass is trash!Keep your legs closed and you will be amazed at how many will want you.I know from experiance.So many men at my church and men who know me threw members of my church like me so much because of the reputaion I have of being a "good girl"They sure don't want someone who has been "around the  block" one time too many. If you show them that you are very sexual,they will enjoy your body but will not want you for much more than sex.You can kiss alot flirt alot touch a little but keep those legs closed if you want him to really want you.They feel that if they can get it without marrying you then anyone can.Even if you aren't a virgin,they still want you to respect yourself,and you better believe they will be thinking if she can do this and this to me then she can do it to another guy.Save the freaky side until after he marries you.

I respect your contribution, may God bless u with more wisdom.

Nigrian men are wise, the fact about it is that if u give them sex all time tyhe love will not be there anymore b'because what u eat every time will not has value again.

To all ladies learn to close your legs and zip up always

sometimes i think these men do these things to you because you take it, forgive, forgive and forgive some more. There is only so much a woman, any woman can take be she white or pink. when a man cheats on you HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU  no matter what anyone says!!!!!

Dont forget that many come to america to seek greener pastures.
Before they hit it big or finish schooling or whatever, they need a pillow of support. warm body, hot delicious meals and lots of  . When a man is down or desperate you are his everything. when he wants to marry , he suddenly remembers he can only marry from his tribe? please!  he might have already been married to her before he ever set sail for america (yes, i didnt stutter on that one!) . Anyway one thing ive learnt in my life as a woman is that a man will treat you only as well as you let him. first strike for me and you are out. i never trifled with any man .ever. so i don't expect to be trifled with.

and african men have some original tricks too. some have been known to fake their deaths to break up with clingy women. 

thank you.

Just remember that whatever you decide to do always think of yourself first because if you don't take care of you and your well being nobody will! 

when will these women learn? eh?    

Some whitewomen marries blackman for sexual satisfaction while some come to make family. When a brother discoverer that his family is built only on his sexual capacity, he starts thinking other wise, so in that case BACK TO MY ROOT will be his favourite song of the day.
   There are so many ways to know when a whitewoman is for real and when they're out for your horse size d**k.
And also you whitewomen should not be fool to believe when a brother is telling you he's working on a divorce with his formal Nigerian woman. We don't divorce rather we marry on top. So to avoid comming here shouting like  OKE MGBADA that just loose her wealth to a 419ER NEVER AND NEVER LISTEN TO A MAN TELLING YOU OF HIS EX NIGERIAN WIFE, WE DON'T HAVE EX WE HAVE FIRST OR SECOND WIFE.

Upon reading all these stories and comments I must say people would not speak so passionately and badly about Nigerians if the majority of them were no indeed crooks and users. They have a comraderie when they leave Nigeria and meet each other,which isnt bad, but they do tend to isolate themselves from other groups, bird of a feather do flock together but where theres a group of nigerians there is a scheme brewing. Not always but mostly.
I'm an East-African girl, educated in Britain and my encounters with Nigerians have always left me with a slight bitter tang.
I fell in love with a Nigerian man, I'm still deeply, ridiculously in love with him. It was instantaneous really and the time we spent together was beautiful, precious and of course the sex was astronomical as the general consensus seems to be. However, my suspicions were raised from the beginning but strong feelings do cloud good judgment and I carried on with him falling deeper in love. I discovered his undesirable occupation, confronted him about it and even tried to say to me that I couldnt be angry with him for what he did and for lying to me about what he did and that if I used that as a basis for leaving him then I was pathetic,  I am in such deep conflict because I believe that he is just a man in a desperate situation doing what he can to survive and I do believe him when he says that he loves me deeply, We have a wonderful friendship, we talk openly about everything under the sun and then some. He has a wonderful mind, beautiful soul and is strong,  We have discussed family, marriage, where we would live,  There is a significant age difference there too but I don't think that really matters aslong as you are aware of the nature of the relationship and nobody is being abused or used. I am over a decade younger than him, but I am not a stupid young girl.He is still doing his undesirable job and I worry that its only a matter of time before the law catches up with him because the penny will not drop for him to see the bigger picture here. I want to keep the hope that he is not going to use me, but mr common sense is telling me to ditch this guy and focus on what really matters:my future. But, I've never loved a man like this before, I've never met anyone with such an amazing light, who makes me feel so truly myself, proud and beautiful in my skin. He is normally a very secretive person,but he was honest with me about his occupation and his reasons for this. He trusts me above all. It's hard to let go. Part of me would do anything for him, but another is thinking run before you're his wife and the mother of his child, but that also doesnt seem like a terrible prospect. I do want his children. I just don't know what to do,  why must this man bind me so much?

If he is not willing to change his occupation for you, then you should leave him.

I am African American and  I personally believe that it  is not just Nigerian men who cheat, lie, or have affairs. Majority of men do, of all nationalities and cultures. It is in a man's nature. But as women we should not allow ourselves to be used and mistreated. I have dated an Nigerian man before he didn't dump me, mistreat me, or use me. Only because I didn't allow him to.  Actually still to this day I periodically receive a emails, texts, phone calls expressing his feelings of emotion and  concern. If everytime a man broke our heart we resorted to making it a race thing we wouldn't even date our own race.

And this you speak of from experience?  Happy beef-sampling!