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henry (m)
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Do you believe that having too much sex with your wife to be risks the posible marriage?
I think having sex with your wife to be risks the chances of marriage getting successful. I decided that the woman I am going to get married to at most I'D only have sex with her once and if i can avoid it i won't at all, because the few times have had it with a lady i get tired after a while like a predator finished with his meal looking for another prey.
What do you think guys and ladies does it go the same way do you get tired of having sex with a particular guy?
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layi (m)
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Sex between singles (illicit sex) is never as rewarding as sex between married couple. When you get married, your perception would change. U can't predict how many times u'll have sex because it takes 2 to tangle. When you're neutral and watching TV, she could come sit on your laps or say the typical "honey, i'll be in bedroom". What would you do? Sex is a very good thing and was designed for married couple. U could argue that its same P entryin V but believe me phsyche plays a big role in whether u enjoy sex or not. U have it with peace of mind, no fear of unwanted pregnancy, gettin caught etc. Anyway my advice. Stop illicit sex. U'll enjoy it with your wife. Trust me.  |
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jogego (m)
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Do you believe that having too much sex with your wife to be risks the posible marriage?
I think having sex with your wife to be risks the chances of marriage getting successful. I decided that the woman I am going to get married to at most I'D only have sex with her once and if i can avoid it i won't at all, because the few times have had it with a lady i get tired after a while like a predator finished with his meal looking for another prey.
What do you think guys and ladies does it go the same way do you get tired of having sex with a particular guy?
So when you don't have sex with your wife to be, does that change the fact that you get tired easily of the same babe? The fact of the matter is you aint ready to settle down so just go on and enjoy ya life. When you are ready to settle and u meet the right person, you aint going to have any of this misgivings. |
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jogego (m)
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Sex between singles (illicit sex) is never as rewarding as sex between married couple.
And pray tell my dear sir,what do you base this arguement on? Are you married? If not, you definitely cannot compare pre marital sex to marital sex. |
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angela k (f)
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Please spare me!  . |
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legs (f)
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So what exactly are u saying Henry? That you will manage by the hair of your chin not to have sex with her or at most have it just once (testing for sexual compatibility you might say) and then get married, have sex with her like its going out of fashion, get bored (as usual) then what… proceed to subject the poor chic to a lifetime of sexual frustration while you get your mickey on outside just because she does not trip you any more.
I don’t understand people on this forum sometimes it seems like some of us here think marriage is a magic spell, you slip on the ring and you are suddenly a responsible married man. Abeg na lie! If you will cheat you will cheat; if you will get bored, you will get bored whether you are married or not. As the saying goes, ¨teeth wey go break go still break inside akamu.¨
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Bibi (m)
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@henry: Can you define "too much sex"?
How much sex is "too much?".
As for others talking about sex before marriage, an uncle of mine once said "have as much as you can before marriage, you never know how many have passed over the man/woman you will marry". My Advice, play it safe. No point argueing whether unmarried people should do it or not.
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Danfo (m)
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You convey the impression that sex is what makes a marriage succesful, but I disagree. Sex is definitely important as it makes the marriage more vibrant and bring partners closer for instance after a quarel. But what makes marriage more succesful and enduring is more than sex. Let me help to understand what I mean: Some time ago I was chasing up this beautiful and excellent lady I met at a business conference , and after much effort we hooked up and we went through the routine of going out for candlelight dinners and the rest. On a saturday evening she came over to my place and I was excited as you can imagine...  .....Anyway, on arrival we fooled around my crib for a while, ate , drank, and then we got down to "The Action" and it was steamingly hot...I mean the roof was shaking!!  The next morning at about 5 AM I woke up and we started at it again and I guess maybe by 6 AM we were totally drained and exhausted, and as I sat up on my bed with the lady sleeping quietly beside me I thought in my mind: Now that we've had sex what else are we going to do for the rest of the day? And that is a very, very critical question. I guess the point I am trying to make is that unless you take into account all the factors which usualy binds people together and unites their hearts such as love, commitment, honesty, love of each other's company etc...whether you " know" a girl before marriage or not the marriage cannot last. |
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bagoma (f)
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I agree with legs on most of the points raised. is sex d only reason for marriage? after marriage you most certainly cannot run away from "too much sex" will you not get bored then? what happens then? you move on as usual, you divorce her? eh?
The crux of the matter is YOU. your mind-set and all. you"ve got issues to deal with and settle, learn more about marriage before you contemplate going into it!
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Motee (f)
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FROM DANFO: I guess the point I am trying to make is that unless you take into account all the factors which usualy binds people together and unites their hearts such as love, commitment, honesty, love of each other's company etc...whether you "know" a girl before marriage or not the marriage cannot last.
Part of truth of the matter!
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nferyn (m)
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FROM DANFO: I guess the point I am trying to make is that unless you take into account all the factors which usualy binds people together and unites their hearts such as love, commitment, honesty, love of each other's company etc...whether you "know" a girl before marriage or not the marriage cannot last.
Part of truth of the matter!
And as Sex is one of these factors, it is better to know beforehand wheter or not you are sexually compatible. Just protect yourself |
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Balogun (m)
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Have been with the same woman for 21 years. Premarital sex was great. Marital sex has been fantastic. Our lives don't revolve around sex as we have so much else in common. But we still try to have sex twice a day when possible. Each sexual encounter is always a new experience.
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uchetobi (f)
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@ Balogun
Thats so sweet. good luck to both of you
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CimonJorr (m)
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Ba'Balogun.... Baba O... We need more Elders in this forum... It is well with u...  Have been with the same woman for 21 years. Premarital sex was great. Marital sex has been fantastic. Our lives don't revolve around sex as we have so much else in common. But we still try to have sex twice a day when possible. Each sexual encounter is always a new experience.
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Scorpio (f)
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Pre-marital sex is not neccessary, but hey! there're people who say it is, so it's up to UIf you're already tired of havin sex with her before marriage, what's it goin to be like when you guys get married?
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uchetobi (f)
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do you need to ask??? thats why people call off engagements. they've had it so much there is nothing to look forward to again some guys could be mean  to be on the safe side... don't sleep with him before marraige so he wont do hit and run (just ma opinion) |
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legs (f)
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uchetobi what are u saying that you wont mind hooking some guy into marriage mainly because he is so intrigued with u because you guys have not had sex, you forget that once he does have sex with you irrespective of whether it happens inside or outside marriage, he is still going to get bored because that is his mindset! And marriage is not going to change that unless he is genuinely ready to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating pre-marital sex I am just saying that you should only marry a man because he is ready to settle down with you and have you bear his children not because he is so keen on having sex with you.
For a guy who is ready to settle down, whether or not you guys have done it will not be a prime factor for you and forget that argument about only good girls not putting out because it’s a lie. Women are calculating and will put on any act to hook a man.
Furthermore God help you if the sex, when you eventually have it, is not explosive because he will be like ¨what was all the gra-gra about anyway?¨
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Greatpeter (m)
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I will spit fire here ooo.
Sex between intending couples?
Hnmmm watch out.
I will be back.
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layi (m)
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GP is around....all make wayyyyy.
We are waiting to hear from the elder.
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Greatpeter (m)
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Layi not this night.
elders don't rush but wait to hear the younger ones first.
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pophoney (m)
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I and my wife had to marry earlier than we planned because she got pregnant, I was just 22yrs then and she 21yrs, a price to pay for pre-marital sex. We once felt that the marriage ceremony could have been better, bigger and more respected if we had not indulge in pre-marital sex.
God has been merciful though, we have a beautiful home with a daughter and son, prospering businesses and every other wonderful gift from God.
The attraction now is not really sex but the other things that binds us.
Sexual attraction does wear off expecially after a lady has given birth, building a career, coupled with the stress in raising and caring for a family, with stress marks in various corners, breast sagging etc.
Guys sexual sampling shouldn't be the most important factor rather it should be trust, love, mutual respect and understanding.
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nddy (m)
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Despite the fact i like sex, don't mean i would have sex with my wife to be, i would not want to have sex with her before our marriage because what would i look forward to on our wedding night
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nferyn (m)
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Despite the fact i like sex, don't mean i would have sex with my wife to be, i would not want to have sex with her before our marriage because what would i look forward to on our wedding night
That's valid, but you are taking a risk. What if you're not sexually compatible? And how then do you relate to the women you had sex with before? Do you respect them less? |
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uchetobi (f)
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uchetobi what are u saying that you wont mind hooking some guy into marriage mainly because he is so intrigued with u because you guys have not had sex, you forget that once he does have sex with you irrespective of whether it happens inside or outside marriage, he is still going to get bored because that is his mindset! And marriage is not going to change that unless he is genuinely ready to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating pre-marital sex I am just saying that you should only marry a man because he is ready to settle down with you and have you bear his children not because he is so keen on having sex with you.
can a guy be so intruiged about bedding a girl that he will wait maybe say 3 years and get married to her for the sole purpose of bedding her??? i don't think so |
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Greatpeter (m)
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Pre-marital sex has consequeces and it's not advisable. God also frowns at it.
The bible says "marriage is honourable with the bed undefiled"
But I believe love that comes naturally can't be quenched by frequent & sporadic sex.
But if it's a lustful desire a mere five minuutes sex will damn the relationship and the love dies intantly.
So make sure you are genuinely in love before making advances.
A word is enough for the wise.
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legs (f)
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uchetobi he may love other things about you but where its the fact that the major attraction you hold for him is that he hasn't bedded you, then its not safe a guy should want to marry u because he wants to wake up every morning looking at the same face irrespective of whether he has slept with you or not. it would surprise you how tenacious guys could be
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uchetobi (f)
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well lets assume you are right.... a guy may also marry you because of your prowness in bed... looking at it from the same angle... so i prefer the former risk if its a risk atall
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legs (f)
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Its not all about prowess uche, if you need conclusive evidence, look at balogun’s post, he had pre-marital sex with his wife (though this is not necessarily a good thing) but it did not stop post-marital sex from getting even better and that’s simply because he loves his wife and looks forward to each sexual experience even if they’ve done it a thousand times before.
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Greatpeter (m)
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I like this conversation between legs and Uche because it's coming from females and I start watching and following.
Please increase the tempo.
I'm enjoying you all.
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uchetobi (f)
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i think you are misunderstanding me legs so let me make myself clearer
the topic is having too much sex with your spouse to be. the point i was making is that. some guys( i know someone it has happened to) would pretend they want to marry you or maybe they really had the intention too. but when you sleep with them. they come up with one excuse or the other why mrraige wont work between both of you. because there is nothing to look forward to again. Guys are like that they want to eat their cake and have it. so in my opinion its Risky. thats just my opinion
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