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Greatpeter (m)
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Legs over to you.
Do you comply with this idea of Uche?
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legs (f)
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Then my darling uchetobi he never intended to get married, he was just scoping the chic (and I know this is the trend), and that does not count as a genuine relationship because it was founded on deceit. When we say spouse-to-be/fiancée/fiancé (call it what you like), we are talking about people that think they have a future together not just someone who is trying to get into a girl’s pants which is why I say that a real genuine intention to settle down wont be based on whether you will get bored with the sex because if you feel that way then it only means you are not ready to settle for one person for the rest of your life (at least that’s the ideal situation)
I am not saying you should go knocking boots with your fiancé/fiancée because he/she really wants to marry you I am just saying that kind of criterion being the basis for picking a life partner is plain wrong.
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Hnd-holder (m)
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Sex can never be too much. You are aroused by the attraction of the man or woman and it has nothing to do with marriage.
Those ladies at the corners of hotels want to sell sex and men do pay for such sex. You are lucky if you have a lady that want sex always.
As a man your desire for sex go down with Age and number of years in marriage.
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uchetobi (f)
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@ legs you are still getting me wrong. i dint say it should be a criteria.
As per the he never intended to get married how do you know who wants to. is it written on the face
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bagoma (f)
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uche, are you saying that you'd advocate no-sex in a relationship simply because of the fear that the man will end up breaking the relationship because he,d been under the covers with you?
so it doesn't matter how you both feel. the word is NO. not because it isn't right according to the WORD, not because it isn't right according to mum and dad but because of the FEAR the guy might run away after doing it!
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legs (f)
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you answered the question yourself it is not written on the face, which is the exact reason why you should not advocate a no sex relationship you can't tell if he really wants to marry you so if you saying no-sex then it should be for some other more concrete reason just like bagoma said
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Greatpeter (m)
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And again sex can not be too much for the person you love.
The more the sex the more I love, become more hungrier.
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uchetobi (f)
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Anyways the topic is too much sex with your spouse to be. if i can help it i'd rather wait because i believe its not too wise. afterall we are going to be married so we may as well wait till we've made a commitment to one another before God and man. But then its just my opinion
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legs (f)
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@uchetobi: and its a good stance to take if you remember i said i was not advocating pre-marital sex i believe couples should wait ... if they can!
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uchetobi (f)
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Exactly if they can..... because its not easy at all
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datchild (m)
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The issue of sex differs from people to people. And everyone knows best how to handle their issue... my opinion is, since the issue of sex is the major reason for the most things we do in life, we should put enough energy to handle its negative effect.
marraige is a sensitive issue, and trust me only very few people understand it... and they won't let us know, because they have sworn to some weird secrecy...
Do what you have to do.. but bear in mind that they all come with their reward - good or bad!!!
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omotee (f)
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I don't think sex came to my mind the first time I met my husband. Sex is part of marriage but shouldn't be the only factor to be considered. If you really love someone, the sex could only get better. Good luck in your search, 'Henry'.  |
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mh826
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Henry old boy....the sex is going to be same when you're married as when your single. Just not as new, sometimes it'll be pig sex and sometimes it'll be very meaningful. Nobody can predict how active your sex life is going to be after a couple of years, so you're setting yourself up for failure if you don't base marriage on love, common interests and goals. Good Luck.
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cletuskpelle (m)
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If I find out that the girl I have the intention of marring is a sex maniac, I'll run like a race horse. Period.
A few months into marriage, that is if you are lucky to go that far and it is over.
Sex alone should and must not be a determining factor in any relationship.
Sometimes the urge to make love will always be there and very strong as long as you're not married.
But when marriage is consummated, the urge to make love diminishes and other factors then becomes the determining factor of your being together as man and wife. The highest of which should be true inner feelings for each other.
Love making may then be for reproduction purpose and also a maintainant factor that should bond you together, as you now have to work even harder and save much more for the future of a larger family to be. Tiredness then comes in after every hard day's work and sex is then relegated to the bottom of your priorities.
So what stops him/her from seeking pleasure elsewhere if he/she too tired after a hard day's work to make love.
See what I mean?
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Greatpeter (m)
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Sex! what this sex will cause it won't be able to rectify it.
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Hnd-holder (m)
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Corect! cletuskpelle got it well.
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jogego (m)
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I have to say that having gone through a lot of this stuff, so much strikes me as coming from people who don't have any experience in relationships and love not to even talk of what marraige is.
First off, if anyone thinks that marraige is a bed of roses,hello, u better wake up. Marraife is as good as u make it. I don't advocate premarital sex, but the reality is that, if u marry someone and you are not sexually compatible, then the marraige is doomed from the outset.
If anyone asked me on a scale of 100 how important sex is in a marraige, I would say 75%. Maybe am lucky to have someone who is on the same wavelenght with me. But if you don't have a meaningful sex life, all the other things that make marriage will not automatially make up for it.
As you grow older maybe in your 50s and 60s it might not be as important as now, but for crying out loud, as young men and women, sex is important in marraige.
You can never have too much sex with your partner. Pure and simple.
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cynthia (f)
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Hi, it's trach.
Why can't you just wait? As 2Face would say, "pull a couch and relax". If you truly want to marry her, then you should drink some patience water, ok?
Marry her first. This is my own opinion. Think about it.
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Hnd-holder (m)
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The topic says
'Too Much Sex' With Your Wife-to-be (or Husband-to-be) that is he /she has made up her mind to me this person. Then what are you waiting for. This is the time you can have it as much as you can. Now I have to send the children to bed to see my wife. Still we still feel they can knock at the door.
Contrary to popular belief, experts say frequency of sexual intercourse has nothing to do with sexual desire or satisfaction.
"there is no normal frequency or set of behaviors and things change with time," says Jan Shifren,( an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School)
when a woman experiences a significant decrease in interest in sex that is having an effect on her life, it's considered a problem of low sexual desire or HSDD.
sexual desire is more than just an issue of low libido or sex drive. sexual drive is the biological component of desire, which is reflected as spontaneous sexual interest including sexual thoughts, erotic fantasies, and daydreams.
It's about your body signaling that it wants to be sexual. Whether or not there is any intention to act on it, we all have a certain level of drive.
That sexual drive declines naturally with age based on physiological factors. But sexual desire also encompasses interpersonal and psychological factors that create a willingness to be sexual.
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Hnd-holder (m)
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It is the sense of intimacy in the relationship,
If you are mad at your spouse, you could be horny but you're not going want to be sexual with that particular person.
Common causes for a loss of sexual desire and drive include:
Interpersonal relationship issues. Partner performance problems, lack of emotional satisfaction with the relationship, the birth of a child, and becoming a caregiver for a loved one can decrease sexual desire.
Sociocultural influences. Job stress, peer pressure, and media images of sexuality can negatively influence sexual desire.
Low testosterone. Testosterone affects sexual drive in both men and women. Testosterone levels peak in women's mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause, when they drop dramatically.
Medical problems: Mental illnesses such as depression, or medical conditions, such as endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid disorders, impact a woman's sexual drive both mentally and physically.
Medications: Certain antidepressants (including the new generation of SSRIs), blood pressure lowering drugs, and oral contraceptives can lower sexual drive in many ways, such as decreasing available testosterone levels or affecting blood flow.
Age. Blood levels of androgens fall continuously in women as they age
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salako
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Dude, you just need some self control. there is more to life than sex. if you have not yet grasped that, then not only are you insulting your own intelligence, but so is your future wife by choosing to marry YOU. Practice moderation, by needing constant sex, you simply objectify the person you may claim to love. Sharing sexual pleasures is important to maintain a fair and safe relationship.  |
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Hnd-holder (m)
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I am now 12 years old in marriage. I still want more sex from my lovely wife. But I have no time for even just once a month, the fact of the matter is that when you marry newly you will think she will run away then you have HONEY moon. Also wife to be will want to please the hubby with all her thing so that he will not look else where.
As wife to be, if it is not moderated, nature has away of doing things as the fact remains that there is no normal frequency as things change with time.
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jam_bya (m)
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Sex is a subject worthy waiting for. Actually it is not easy but why having sex with your partner when you think that could make you abhor her now or in the coming future.
Partners are two set of people that are meant to stay together for the rest of their life after their conclusion to come together. Come what may, Sex or whatsoever is not meant to separate you in future. Because you can't do without having sex with your partner, is a form of relaxation or coolant to human abnormal body temperature. Then if that could make you hate your partner that mean, what you precisely want from women in general is sex making not love forming.
thanks.
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lioness (f)
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Lioness in da house!! huhh hahahenhen SEX SEX SEX! Heennnrryyyy, 'Too Much Sex' With Your Wife-to-be. IS IT JUST ABOUT THE SEX THAT ATTRACTED YOU TO THE WOMAN. because if it is then you'll get bored whether its before or after the marriage. Its not about sex before or after marriage, ITS YOU, YOUR MENTALITY, & your thingy. I suggest you look out for other qualities in your women than just physical sexual attraction. Sex whether 1wice before marriage or 2wice after marriage is sex. Its best you don't start at all than do once and say its okay. who u kiddin? GreaterPeter, I hail. True talk on the biblical aspect. I strive to avoid sex but Bros, that thing na God;s grace person need....... true. This sex thing is more of how people regard it these days. Its almost like a BAM- WAG thingy u know. because the society tells you you can play safe doesnt make it right. No fear for STD, unwanted pregnancy, fear of God or even our diginity. |
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lioness (f)
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Come, legs and uchetobi, GIVE IT A REST girlfriends
wetin una dey argue sef? She says, I say, then she says again and I must talk.
"Umuwanye", na so our things dey dey. Who talk go finish for I'm mouth.
Anyway, on a serious note. I feel u both but personally, i think a whole lot of stuff in life varies from individual. If a guy bumps a gurl and drops her doesnt mean ur guy's goin 2 do the same to you. Your life is different from the next man. we can only learn from the experiences of people and not pattern our lives according to theirs. What works for A may not work for B.
Some people can wait and some can't........... all fingers aint equal.
lets just pray and build our r/ship & marriage.
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AngelaZ (f)
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See Mail below as you explore the world of Sex, Before or after marriage. Just be Careful.
Nigeria Has World's 3rd-Highest Number of HIV-Positive People
USAID has disclosed that Nigeria has four million people living with HIV/AIDS, the third-highest in the world. Nigeria needs to adopt a multisectoral approach to fighting the disease, USAID-Nigeria Deputy Director Natalie Freeman said.
The US. has pledged to provide antiretroviral drugs to 350,000 people and support 1.7 million HIV-positive people in Nigeria, including children and orphans. USAID also pledged to provide Nigeria's National Action Committee on AIDS with technical and logistic support. Four million "is not a small number at all. It is a large number of people," Babatunde Osotimehin, NACA's national coordinator, said, adding that the Nigerian government has ordered the number of HIV-positive people on the country's antiretroviral treatment program be increased to 250,000 to help fight the virus.
Nigeria Today Online
Published by Community Communications & Publishing Limited
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lioness (f)
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Your right angelaz. It didnt strike me much until someone at work died of it. Now we have everyone at work running in for test. How many people in this forum has gone for a test???  |
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starfish
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well i feel if there's true love no matter how much u have sex with the person it will always fell as if u just met or u just did it for the first time. love really matters u don't have sex with the person u love u MAKE LOVE, and the fact that he gets tired of anybody he as had sex with may eventually affect him because after marriage he\she might get tired of his\her pattener. so really love matters alot.
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trinity
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Mmmmmm! This is one topic that I never imagine will crop up in the forum but thank God it came so that I can express my own personal and vehement opinion.
I'll take myself as an example. There's this chic I've been dating for over 6years now and we have been 'bunking' each other since then but right now i'm having a kind of mixed feelings about her. I love her no doubt but settling down with her i presume won't be interesting as regards our sex life( let me not use love life). Why? you may ask.
Just last week she came to my abode and decided to stay for a week. we had a fill of it during the first 2days but after that I got tired of the whole thing and it was apparent that she was aware that I'm bored with the whole sex thing with her as I hadly sleep with her in the room but rather I'll opt for the sofa in the sitting room. She didn't like the idea as she took it personal and it resulted in a disagreement but thank God we've sorted it out and we are still dating.
Folks what I'm trying to bring out here is this, sex should be adventurous, durable and sweet. The reason I'll say i got fed up was that my chic ain't the adventurous type. So Henry, I bet you, if you have a girl that knows what love making is all about, you will marry her even if you've slept with her for the umpteenth time because you will be the one yearning and craving for more. I believe the reason why you sent the topic is because you've not met the 'give-it-all' type girls and i believe that the girls you've been bunking are the 'mama and papa style crazy chics'.
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Greatpeter (m)
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I bow o.
I've been overtaken
I will soon bounce back.
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Hnd-holder (m)
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As the elder of the house, I would not want anybody to get outside this topic Having 'Too Much Sex' With Your Wife-to-be (or Husband-to-be) It is you wife to be means you have met all the condition including HIV test andparental demands. You are only waiting to formalise the relationship. |
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