What If I Don't Want Children?

Why do people look at you cross eyed when you say you "don't want kids"?  Never understood that.

I realise that some people feel as if they're obliged to get married and have children because that is what is drummed into them from birth.

However, there seem to be a lot of people out there who believe that EVERYONE should get married and EVERYONE should have children.  I'm pretty sure that this "one size fits all" mentality is the root of most of the problems and general discontent we see in society today.

Also, why is it considered selfish to not want children? Surely it is more selfish to desire an extension of yourself in the form of a child.

Personally I don't care whether people have children or not, but the reasons given as to why they want children are often (if not always) selfish...

1. Because it's the 'done' thing (and you wouldn't want to look different!)

2. Because it cements the relationship (making it harder for either partner to leave the marriage, but placing pressure/importance on the child)

3. Because my parents want granchildren (laughable!)

There are host of other reasons that may come to me later...

But to summarise my feelings on child rearing:
Unless you sat down and decided that you wanted children 100% because it would benefit the rest of the world, with not a thought as to what you as a person desired, I do not think you can honestly claim that decision to be entirely altruistic.

I believe having children or not should be an agreement between the husband and wife. If they want no children so be it and there is nothing bad in that.

If You don't want children You have the choice to remain
childless.
But don't get offended when someone says u are
BARREN

I Guess u are a Nigerian and You know how
mothers-in-law in Naija behave.

my dear u really sound adamant about this. is there a particular reason u don't want to have kids? did u have a bad childhood? do u think ure a bad side of your parents? because i thot u said something like that-yes? girl i used to hate kids. i mean,really dislike them. my sister never left me alone with her kids because i was mean to them. i would fite with them over toys(i still play with barbie) because am a big baby, over the tv channels,whether to watch mr. incredible or bugs bunny( i think bugzy is just great,i love him), u know i always wanted to see kids cry everywhere. my 1st kid was not a planned pregnancy so imagine how i felt when i found out i was going to have my own personal fighting youngmate. but baby, when he came,one look and ive never looked back. i have another girl now,still intend to have more. more than my ma(she had nine of us- but that is if my husband is up to it!!! babygirl think about it sum more, u don't want your mother-in-law to turn u into meatballs now do u?   

@fabian. oh no fab dear! she IS entitled to her opinion. i just thot maybe i can make her reconsider.as a woman, i know how i feel when i see my kidz run around,kiss me and all that,its a good feeling,really nice. i wouldnt want anyone to lose having the chance or oppurtunity to expirience the same feeling. u get my drift?

Hi all,
I've never met any one that didn't want to av kids. But those that don't may av had a nasty eperience in da past. Personally i may nt be a fan of kids because their wahala is something else but i'd love to av sweethearts of my own especially if i'm married to d love of my life. Even if nt i'd still have kids.

some factors could affect now wanting to have kids, for example
- Most of the models i know don't want kids because by modeling, they make their living and their job requirs that they  maintain their shape all the time
- A lot of female musicians i know don't want kids atleast not at their prime time (A time when most ladies want a kid)

- If you're infected with hiv and other comparable deseases, you don't want to infect another person by wanting a kid.

- If you are top level executive in big firm, usually due to pressure, male and females at that level either have had kids ealier of if they havent, may decide to adopt or wait until they retiere

I want children, I adore them. But I'll wait till I get married.       
I don't really think it's normal not to want children 

Guess there are men who don't want kids too. 

Its ok if someone dose not want kids.
Same as it is okes for me to say i do not want anymore.
And i do not want to try for a boy.
When my marrage broke up , friends were telling me.
Am still young, i can get married.have more kids,.
I i said no.
I got some stupid answers,"you are not a man"  , you cannot stay alone" do you not want a boy".
Better to have non , than to have one that you do not want.

  Na Waohhhhhhhhh

marriage's primary aim is for procreation but if u don't what kids then there is no big deal there. it's up to u and your spouse and as far as u can live with it there is no sweat at all. i have seen childless couples that are far more happier than couples with kids so its no big deal . as for me the whole idea of marriage and having kids is not just on my cards (it doesnt appeal to me).

A conscious decision not to have children can be an altruistical act. Anyway, it's OK to have children, but it is selfish to have too many. We're already pushing this planet to it's ecological limits. More children are really not going to help.

exu

look at it this way, u are almost guaranteed a kidney if u need one in the future