Life's Mathematics

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Author Topic: Life's Mathematics  (Read 876 views)
fabian (f)
Life's Mathematics
« on: October 12, 2005, 03:21 PM »

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
More willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
ariba (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #1 on: October 12, 2005, 06:55 PM »

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of
money was talking to his lawyer.

"If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of
cigars?"

"Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical
behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him
against you. He might even hold you in contempt
of court.  In fact, you shouldn't even smile at
the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a
decision in favor of the defendant.

As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to
his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars.
It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd
sent them."

"But I did send them."

"What??  You did???"

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

"It's easy.  I sent the cigars to the judge, but
enclosed the plaintiff's business card."

hot-angel (f)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #2 on: October 14, 2005, 04:08 AM »

 Smiley
esconedge (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #3 on: October 14, 2005, 10:38 AM »

 Undecided
fabian (f)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #4 on: October 14, 2005, 10:54 AM »

why  are you going Undecided Undecided?
Are you undecided???
dason4life (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #5 on: November 02, 2007, 01:08 PM »

na wa o
ximo (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #6 on: November 13, 2007, 04:19 PM »

E b like say you no get job to do. Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed
tope_teadr (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #7 on: November 13, 2007, 04:52 PM »

You guys are getting it all wrong.
You add  a girls bed, subtract her cloths, divide her legs and enter into her square root. Hope she dosent multiply.
Migines (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #8 on: November 13, 2007, 04:57 PM »

Lol
clemcykul
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #9 on: November 14, 2007, 10:52 AM »

@teadr thats a funny mathmatics Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

sweetie howz was ur night Huh Huh Huh
tessybaby (f)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #10 on: November 14, 2007, 11:17 AM »

Quote from: tope_teadr on November 13, 2007, 04:52 PM
You guys are getting it all wrong.
 You add a girls bed, subtract her cloths, divide her legs and enter into her square root. Hope she dosent multiply.
@ Ituen
I hope u have read this? put it into practice
               
ituen (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #11 on: November 14, 2007, 04:57 PM »

wata joke
tope_teadr (m)
Re: Life's Mathematics
« #12 on: November 15, 2007, 01:25 AM »

Yeah i'm cool, my day was great.
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