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Ally1 (f)
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Ok, i have been with this guy for like 15 months now. We 've been going steady all this while. He says he's happy with me and I am also happy with him too. But the dude just aint popping the question and am worried.
Some other guys are already asking me to marrying them but i've asked them to wait. I really love this guy am with but I can't wait for him forever can I? What do I do because i don't want to put the marriage pressure on him and at the same time, I want to settle down?
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Seun (m)
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You should have indirectly made it clear from day one that you're the kind of girl that wants marriage. He might not even have considered it seriously. He might be thinking it's not something he should think about yet.
Here's what you should do. Ask him when he plans to get married. Then listen carefully, and say no more. If you listen carefully, you will hear what he has to say and not what you want to hear. Good luck!
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lioness (f)
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My dear Ally1, alot of girls are faced with this kind of situation. The worse part of it is that, at the end of the day, when u tell the other suitors off, he might just leave you. Then your old, single and desperate  |
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Ally1 (f)
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tnx lioness, tnx seun
am actually thinking of asking him if he would marry me but i guessed it would seem too desperate.
i cld ask him when he intends to get married though.
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thupsie (m)
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If i were u i would just be patience with ma self because life is full of misery! If u rush in u rush out  is not as if age is not on your side any more at least u are still young and agile please wait patiently And u might not know what he is up to he might be testing your skills, |
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lioness (f)
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@seun,
if she ask's him when he intends to get married and he says nxt month, whats even the assurance that she will be the bride. Life is a risk but we must take wise risk so i suggest u just ask him if he thinks u guys will end up together.
Hear what he's got to say.
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favormLord
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I am in the same position my dear i have been with this guy fori had guys then that wanted to marry me on the spot but i was like NO i love this one now see  . Now wheni indirectly say marriage he says he want to get this and that before thinkin of marg i have no choice but to keep praying my adv: Ask the guy indirectly about marriage and see what he will say |
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Ynot (m)
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Do we have to get married?  Can't we just live in peace and enjoy our friendship?  |
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Busta (f)
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Simple. The guy ain't just ready for marriage. when he is, he'll pop the big question.
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Rhea (m)
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You should have indirectly made it clear from day one that you're the kind of girl that wants marriage. He might not even have considered it seriously. He might be thinking it's not something he should think about yet.
Here's what you should do. Ask him when he plans to get married. Then listen carefully, and say no more. If you listen carefully, you will hear what he has to say and not what you want to hear. Good luck!
Seun has said it all. Enusre he's in his best mood before you throw the question. |
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nico (m)
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As the saying goes Why buy the cow, when u can get the milk for free |
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SweetLola
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Ally
You just have to discuss it with the man. It doesn't mean you are desperate! . But we get ourselves into a lot of unecessary wahala by simply not communicating.
If you are in a serious relationship, you guys should have a good idea of where you are going , and should have already discussed issues like 'do you want kids' 'how many kids' etc etc informally.
Choose a relaxed moment and ask …when do you see yourself settling down ?. and as Seun said …listen.
As a woman you should know whether or not this man takes you seriously…how does he treat you? . Have you met his family? Do you know his friends? Do you go to church together …or other outings/ family functions?
If its something you are thinking about then you definitely need to discuss it. The answer might not be something you want to hear, but at least you will know!
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michy (f)
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As a woman you should know whether or not this man takes you seriously…how does he treat you? . Have you met his family? Do you know his friends? Do you go to church together …or other outings/ family functions?
i think what sweetlola said is true.if he doesnt ask u,then ask him i guess there is no law that says that a guy should propose first.be bold and ask him.this is a matter of the heart.if he is not interested,then u ll know what to do.be fast before it is too late. |
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dipotepede (m)
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It does not seize to amaze me how ladies leave their happiness in the hands of a man!
A man!
A mere man!
Just because you are emotionally hooked, does not mean you are stupid. Think of it this way;
If you ask the man when he wants to get married and says a day that is not in your preference; so you will just give up. Ha! You need to know what you want and be more assertive.
If his name is Ade.
"Ade, I am a woman and women have limitations like menopause, because of this I want to get married early albeit I love you so much and I am willing to wait for whatever reason. But we must come to an agreement when you want to get married so I can know how long to wait. It will hurt me a lot if you say no but I will understand and move on."
You don't have to follow this verbatim but take the strategy.
You are not the only one in love; he is also in love. This will make him think about things and sought himself out.
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pati (f)
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i agree with seun. When it come to matters like this men need to be pressurized a bit but don't over do it
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babadee (m)
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Simple, the man aint ready!!!
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mrmayor (m)
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My people, What I don't get is why do women insist on the "M"word 2 weeks into the relationship,take a step back and enjoy the moment.What pisses me off is whenever women bring up this issue of non committing boyfriend they always tell you that there are men queuing to marry them.  |
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otokx (m)
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which is a lie from the pit of HELL
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Nutter (m)
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@Ally 1, Other blokes are asking for your hand and you told them to wait instead of saying no? You sure you want to get married to your fella - or is it that you just want to get married? which is a lie from the pit of HELL
My goodness! That's so funny! |
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iice (f)
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My people, What I don't is why do women insist on the "M"word 2 weeks into the relationship,take a step back and enjoy the moment.What pisses me off is whenever women bring up this issue of non committing boyfriend they always tell you that there are men queuing to marry them. |
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sammie.k (m)
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just fifteen months and you are already crazy about marrying the guy? Men, allow the guy take his time, marriage is a life time affair oh, not for 15 months. So, relax .
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Damollar (m)
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@Ally - look, baby I dear u so much, I can't do with out u, will u marry me?, I will do everything for u to make u happy. I think it sounds all funny. , You can ask questions on any topic, get answers from real people, and share your insights but not on this except you're d guy |
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ten (m)
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MARRIAGE. . every relationship dosent lead to marriage, you should know the guy, i mean. he his meant to be your boy friend, you should know what he is capable of ,marriage is a life commitment,you had better know what your doing, marriage isnt everythin, getting married aint it,its the aspect of staying married. Good luc sis |
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Damollar (m)
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If i had a sister, she would never listen 2 u |
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tochikc
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please marry ME am READY
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saintchux (m)
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if you are sure that people are asking your hand in marriage, tell him about it. There is nothing wrong is telling him what is happening around you. For you not to have told him about it untill now seem as if you are hiding something from him.
Please feel free and tell him that people are asking you hands in marriage.
Cheers
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hot-angel (f)
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Okay sweetie. It's hard to hear, but have you ever thought deeply that maybe he's just not that into you?
Now you've been dating for a year and 3 months. Do u know his views on marriage? As he ever said things like he'D love you to be his wife someday? Does he give hints that he'll want to marry you? Do u know whether or not he's in support of marriage?
I espect that you know all these stuffs. I mean u should have in one time or the other talked about family.
You might already know the answers to this questions, but maybe u are just afraid to admit that dude just aint that into you. If he loves you so much, excuse me but he'll give u hints that he wants you to be his wife someday.
Now u have people already asking you to marry them. WHy not start up a conversation about this 'marriage issue' with your boyfriend? At least know his views on it. He might not be 'ready' to settle down. BUt at least he should let you know that he wants to be the one to marry you.
Don't Threaten him by saying "if you don't want to marry me, i already have a whole bunch of guys asking for my hand and leg in marriage". Now , that's just wrong.
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Oracle (m)
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It is obvious that he is not ready for marriage, maybe he wants a longer courtship
which is what i'll advice. to me 15 months is too short a time to make a decision that will affect your life forever
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