My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him

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Uche2nna (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #32 on: September 12, 2006, 07:33 PM »

Quote from: dennylove on September 12, 2006, 07:15 PM
ally,remember you are a lady,and AGE is telling on you, if you really LOVE this guy like you ''ve said,then CONFRONT him about the marriage stuff,jst like UHCE2NNA, will say if the mountain does not come to MUHAMMED,let MOHAMMED go to the mountain.so if you know that the guy belong to you,then fight for your POSSESSION.peace. Cool Cool Cool
[/quote
 That is what i am talking about!
tochikc
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #33 on: September 12, 2006, 07:55 PM »

please i want to settle down.please will u marry me?
Uche2nna (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #34 on: September 12, 2006, 08:03 PM »

You know tochik you have to wait till ally comes online.And I do not think she is even ready to leave that her man yet!
Geez talk about bumrus Grin Grin Grin Grin
Boom
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #35 on: September 12, 2006, 08:18 PM »

Ally! Hold up,  did u say some other guys are proposing marriage to you? How could you consider that a serious proposal if u've never dated these guys? According to you, u've been with ur present boyfriend for 15 months. For me, if you talk about marriage after 15 months,  I'll run. Basically because I'm not ready and the girls that I date know not to expect anything serious from our relationships. Only you will know how ready for you this guy is.
A yoruba adage says "A pregnant woman knows what she will name her child before she bears it" Your best bet is to take to @dipotepede's advice.
"Ade, I am a woman and women have limitations like menopause, because of this I want to get married early albeit I love you so much and I am willing to wait for whatever reason. But we must come to an agreement when you want to get married so I can know how long to wait. It will hurt me a lot if you say no but I will understand and move on."
mochafella (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #36 on: September 12, 2006, 08:20 PM »

Quote from: Boom on September 12, 2006, 08:18 PM
Ally! Hold up,  did u say some other guys are proposing marriage to you? How could you consider that a serious proposal if u've never dated these guys? According to you, u've been with your present boyfriend for 15 months.

That question remains unanswered  Undecided
raldsfield (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #37 on: September 12, 2006, 08:21 PM »

Girls are just funny. The guy is just your boyfriend and you are thinking about marriage.

You have to engage, ( become the financier). i have friends that have being dating for over

6 years and they are not yet married. Well check the guys pocket before you talk about marriage.

If he is na Igbo guy, has he got the millions to pay your bride price. Abi to marry na free.

No mind me, some people feel marry 1 week after they meet. best of luck.

I support you. Ask the guy or bring to Nairaland make we ask am for you.
Uche2nna (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #38 on: September 12, 2006, 08:34 PM »

Quote from: raldsfield on September 12, 2006, 08:21 PM
Girls are just funny. The guy is just your boyfriend and you are thinking about marriage.

You have to engage, ( become the financier). i have friends that have being dating for over

6 years and they are not yet married. Well check the guys pocket before you talk about marriage.

If he is na Igbo guy, has he got the millions to pay your bride price. Abi to marry na free.

No mind me, some people feel marry 1 week after they meet. best of luck.

I support you. Ask the guy or bring to Nairaland make we ask am for you.
God Punish you,ralsfield. Angry Angry Angry what do you mean if he is an Igbo guy,,,Meaning that we must all be Millonaires b/4 we can say I do Grin Grin Grin Grin
Amobi 1 (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #39 on: September 12, 2006, 08:47 PM »

Just tell a friend to ask you guys when together thats the best thing to do. and when she ask u guys just say,uhm it depends on the Oga OOOh!!!!
Uche2nna (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #40 on: September 12, 2006, 08:53 PM »

Good tactics!Follows closely what I have been advocating, that is you got to give the guy a little push Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley
Ndipe (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #41 on: September 12, 2006, 09:58 PM »

How about you propose to him? Nothing wrong with that!!!
raldsfield (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #42 on: September 12, 2006, 10:39 PM »

Uche O gini na eme gi. Why you dey cause me. In our tradition, you do not course a chief.

I will deal with you when we get back to the village for opening your a$$ in the market place.

But you know what I mean, you can't take a girl home when you calculate the indices of getting married.

We want to be made before we marry, am sure if you are suffering or struggling to feed, will you go and marry. Considering that the girls of these want to spend all you have ever worked for on their wedding and talk of the town traditional marriage.

i think I have talked too much.

Uchenna agamu e me gi ife! Alu
Uche2nna (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #43 on: September 12, 2006, 10:48 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
yeah i think i understand what u are saying.Most girls don't mind spending all you have on one silly wedding and then starving later.Na wa for them!I pray that the one I will say I do with will have a different opinion ie spending as likkle as possible on the wedding day but making sure she and the kids are properly catered for subsequently
Nwanne carry go!
chinani (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #44 on: September 12, 2006, 10:55 PM »

Quote from: mochafella on September 12, 2006, 08:20 PM
Quote
Ally! Hold up,  did u say some other guys are proposing marriage to you? How could you consider that a serious proposal if u've never dated these guys? According to you, u've been with your present boyfriend for 15 months.
That question remains unanswered  Undecided
Hey it's the African way of lifeor one of them at least. 'Dating' isn't embedded in our culture so dudes don't feel bad poaching gfs to 'take' as wives. With this in mind, when a man proposes to you, you can still consider his words "serious" b/c you know his mindset/p.o.v on the whole 'dating' issue.

Ever read The Sun? Half the men in there say they proposed to their wife w/ half a dozen other men at bay.

That's my take, but I'll wait for Ally to respond for herself.
raldsfield (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #45 on: September 12, 2006, 11:05 PM »

Nwanne mu, thanks for the support.

Meanwhile I dey go sleep. Marriage no dey rain again.

Na career women dey rain now. Single Mums and Working class Ladies.

Why will a chic want to mortgage her freedom.

I don't understand these ladies sometimes.

I done dey miss yan am really feeling sleepy.

Good Night all the single men and women on this site and to the coupled hold them tight and propose this night before you sleep or make love this night.
Uche2nna (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #46 on: September 12, 2006, 11:16 PM »

Did you just say Good night.what time is it over there
delboy (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #47 on: September 12, 2006, 11:20 PM »

Having known this chap for 15 months, u should know his attitude towards marriage, what he wants from life,where he wants to be financially and career- wise.

I'm done.
yemmydavid (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #48 on: September 12, 2006, 11:38 PM »

i don't think 15months is such a long time (i read sumtin like this in sunday punch 10th sept).some people have stayed longer than that and the guy has not said anything bout marraige.
    probably he is shy to say it.
    probably he doesnt have the money to think bout marriage yet. (he doesnt have a house,car ) most girls go for guys because of that
    he might be watching you.
you can ask him tactfully just like seun and others adviced.
but please be patient with him,he just needs time
adewaleafolabi (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #49 on: September 13, 2006, 12:54 AM »

hmm the "M" word. well its so natural for guys to be scared of committment all u just need is a little understanding. just ask the guy politely when he would like to settle down. don't try and force it on him cause that might scare him off. i know u have limited time but everything comes with patience  Smiley
Radiant (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #50 on: September 13, 2006, 01:29 AM »

Here we go again!!! Smiley
Did anyone even ask Ally her age Undecided una just deh open mouth anyhow Grin she might be less than 25 and be desperate to get married due to peer pressure or she may be above 30. We don't really know. Getting married is not really the issue but staying married like someone said earlier. Did you say 15 months or years? my dear u have just began. I know a lady who dated a guy for 10 years and they didn't get married and guess what happened? she got pregnant on the 10th year and my dear the guy abandoned her. She's our family friend so it's not a hear say talk.10 solid years! I saw it live Grin
15 months is enough though for a guy to propose but one thing you should know is that, until a guy is MADE, he ain't gon pop that question cause he knows the pressure to say "I do" will be the next on the agenda. Wink
Proper and correct guys want to make it first. If he has never discussed marriage with you, then you should tell us the reason cause that's a common conversation among partners and friends. My cousin who's 33 years is just getting married this saturday.You shouldn't be worried about that cause girl, you don't want to jump out the next day. Be prayerful and patient honestly. Marriage no deh trip me at all. 80% of my friends are guys but i can't see myself settling with any of them. I see marriage as being in bondage. Neway, whatever the case, NEVER PROPOSE TO A GUY no matter what. He will use it against you one day and you don't want to know what will come afterwards Sad people discover the kind of partner they have after years and run for their lives and you getting worried after 15  months, girl open you eyes o. God knows better Cool
BobbieMae (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #51 on: September 13, 2006, 04:21 AM »

This is why naija girls never get married. don't PRESSURE THE GUY. What is wrong with you? Are you a desperado??? Na by force?Huh You use nyash cook stew??

Be patient, and let the man do shit at his own time.

If na marriage dey do you then yall should talk about it. For all you know he may not see you as wifey material. Go figure.

katherinae (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #52 on: September 13, 2006, 04:23 AM »

ynot that is what best friends are for, hang out and enjoy friendship
katherinae (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #53 on: September 13, 2006, 04:36 AM »

look here
i say smack him over hte head fly to vegas and wed him while he is unconscious, and make sure to not sign a prenumptial agreement that way, u guys can't get a divorce immediately., he will eventually come around.  bu ton a serious note, i would advise u not to wait for him
go wiht the guys that are asking u to marry them, preferrable not all at once  ooh.  pick the best one that compliments u and invite me to the traditional wedding.
BobbieMae (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #54 on: September 13, 2006, 05:21 AM »

Thank God i didnt have to sweat before my man proposed. He proposed one month after he met me. Yes i got it like that.
adconline (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #55 on: September 13, 2006, 07:46 AM »

Why do most girls think  that guys are  always ready for marriage? When u get into a rerelationship , take time to study the guy's position. Guys don't JUST get married OK. You have to connect the dots. How to make  a family, quit bachelorhood, your family and friends.
Given our cultural background, its the man who  shelters the woman. He directly or indirectly becomes a member of   his wife's family . He has to be financial and emotionally stable.  Its every guy's dream to have a super-duper wedding
NB; Guys cannot be pressurized into marriage. Its a number one turn off for guys.
Ally1 (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #56 on: September 13, 2006, 08:46 AM »

Thanks alot girl. Am actually 30 and yes, the pressure is there. Especially since am an only child.
So i guess you understand. We do talk about marriage but its never been a direct discussion. Most times he brings it up. But he's never just asked.

But thanks for the advise. When you live in a society where everyone's expecting u to get hooked soon, not caring is never an option  Undecided

Quote from: Radiant on September 13, 2006, 01:29 AM
Here we go again!!! Smiley
Did anyone even ask Ally her age Undecided una just deh open mouth anyhow Grin she might be less than 25 and be desperate to get married due to peer pressure or she may be above 30. We don't really know. Getting married is not really the issue but staying married like someone said earlier. Did you say 15 months or years? my dear u have just began. I know a lady who dated a guy for 10 years and they didn't get married and guess what happened? she got pregnant on the 10th year and my dear the guy abandoned her. She's our family friend so it's not a hear say talk.10 solid years! I saw it live Grin
15 months is enough though for a guy to propose but one thing you should know is that, until a guy is MADE, he ain't gon pop that question cause he knows the pressure to say "I do" will be the next on the agenda. Wink
Proper and correct guys want to make it first. If he has never discussed marriage with you, then you should tell us the reason cause that's a common conversation among partners and friends. My cousin who's 33 years is just getting married this saturday.You shouldn't be worried about that cause girl, you don't want to jump out the next day. Be prayerful and patient honestly. Marriage no deh trip me at all. 80% of my friends are guys but i can't see myself settling with any of them. I see marriage as being in bondage. Neway, whatever the case, NEVER PROPOSE TO A GUY no matter what. He will use it against you one day and you don't want to know what will come afterwards Sad people discover the kind of partner they have after years and run for their lives and you getting worried after 15 months, girl open you eyes o. God knows better Cool
mrmayor (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #57 on: September 13, 2006, 08:52 AM »

Ally1,

I understand where you are coming from,I think the problem is men generally don't feel the biological pressure to get married.You should have a serious discussion with your man,No Holds Barred discussion and get this matter sorted out ASAP
lioness (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #58 on: September 13, 2006, 09:00 AM »

~~~~ yarns, just getting up from sleep~~

Plenty talk! If i were you, I'D be alittle patient. I  suggest u give him till the end of this year and see what happends. If he says and does nothing, Go with one of the others. don't push the other guys away and don't start a r/ship with them also, be nice to them and get to know them. Thats not cheatin.

If mr loverman decides to dump u tomorrow, u know u've got someone to fall on. don't GO ASKING HIM FOR MARRIAGE. KEEP YOUR DIGNITY GIRL ~~ and die in silence ~~  Grin
mrmayor (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #59 on: September 13, 2006, 09:12 AM »

Ally,

Quote from: lioness on September 13, 2006, 09:00 AM
. KEEP YOUR DIGNITY GIRL ~~ and die in silence ~~  Grin

Bad advice,why die in silence,this is the twentyfirst century for crying out loud,what a man can do,even better.If a man can can go on his knees and ask for your hand in marriage,you can lie on you stomach and beg for his hand in marriage Grin Grin only joking.
Please be bold and talk to him,don't assume he is thinking like you
lioness (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #60 on: September 13, 2006, 09:22 AM »

don't do it girl. Keep your pride.  Embarrassed
ope_emi (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #61 on: September 13, 2006, 10:38 AM »

Quote from: Ally1 on September 13, 2006, 08:46 AM
When you live in a society where everyone's expecting u to get hooked soon, not caring is never an option Undecided

Ally1, influence is another topic on its own, don't get influenced by the society you live in, they don't have the power to make your own choices.

Quote from: Ally1 on September 13, 2006, 08:46 AM
Thanks alot girl. Am actually 30 and yes, the pressure is there. Especially since am an only child.

There are ladies/women making it big time and they are single, marriage is another way of life, not that its not important, Patience is the only way of getting solution solved not rushing into something that will only cause you more sorrow.  Follow your Heart, you can listen to advice but don't let people make your choice, ok.
Damollar (m)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #62 on: September 13, 2006, 10:39 AM »

Quote from: lioness on September 13, 2006, 09:22 AM
don't do it girl. Keep your pride. Embarrassed


@Ally - If he hasn't asked you yet, there must be a reason,

The other part of him misses you, but he hasn't got the guts to just be honest and say he made a mistake. , it’s new and fun and i’m not nagging about him not asking yet…, i think it’s great to wonder
Makeda (f)
Re: My Boyfriend Hasn't Asked Me To Marry Him
« #63 on: September 13, 2006, 10:55 AM »

@Ally1
Maybe he just does not want you for a wife, becasue if he did he would have proposed by now. Men know what they want, and they will make a move if they really want you. My husband asked me to marry him only 2 months after we met, and I married my husband after only 9 months of dating. Keep your options open honey.
 If Your Girlfriend Gets Pregnant Unexpectedly  Ten Things Guys Like About Girls And Ten Things Girls Like About Guys  "To Hell With Love: I Just Want To Get Married!"  Page 2
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