What Is Wrong With Dating Or Marrying An African American Man?

The only thing you may take away from this Drusilla is that No Africans born and living in Africa especially Nigerians because I'm one sees any sense in your happy African republic.
We are as different as Spain is from Germany in culture,language,foods,dressing.

If you think Spain and Italy can be one big happy country of whites then you have a point there.

Do you wonder why Northern Ireland wants to leave the UK?same reason they are different .
This is hard for you to grasp because your image of Africa and what the motherland should be is a mirage,it does not exist.

lol.I just used those word in quotes,I wonder what the joys may be.

Drusilla, there are lots of instances that can be referenced that indeed points to the white man's divide and rule nature regarding africa, but believe me, I grew up in Nigeria, there are plenty of diiferences in our culture as africans.

We are not that homogeneous at all. When people like babyosisi and donzman (now including me) suggest that it would be better for you to live in an african country to have first hand experience, we are not trying to undermine your knowledge, not at all.

This is just one of those instances were you have to "live it" to have a deeper understanding. And we are by no means saying we are not africans or we are better than other africans (e.g. Kenyans). This is far from the truth.

You seem to think that those of us trying to highlight the fact that we are Nigerians and want to be referred to as such, have bought into the white man's ideology of "divide and rule". Again, this is far from the truth.

In my opinion, the best and only way of getting an understanding of this is to physically be there for a period of time. There's no exception to this.

@925


I have been trying to swallow what was the use in you posting this?
Where did I ever say that you should not be with your wife? I only said that you are hypocritical to be telling black women that black men get a real white woman because the black women who try to look like white women are fake. In my opinion, with your position, having a wife who is white, that can be perceived as your trying to give and indirect reason for your choices. I gave you several reasons to back that up if you bothered to read them.

Also, it seems like you try to promote your wife more than you promote your self when it comes to black peoples business, who are you trying to convince with always telling people of the good things that she does? people in Nairaland or your self? When a person is doing good from their heart, they don't feel the need to keep telling people about it unless they have an ulterior motive. What is yours? Your wife probably goes through a lot trying to satisfy you in keeping up this image that she is a good white person and that she is sincere about seeing black people as equal to whites. I can imagine it is not easy for her but evidently you are doing something for her that is well worth the hassle for her to continue everyday with the hate whitey on one hand but accept the good ones on the other hand. Geez, what a tough job to have to convince people that you are one of the good white people, particularly when your husband is an alleged Afrocentrist.



Never heard of a Russian King, why didn't you supply a link or a name of this alleged King? And if this did happen like you say, that does not negate that fact that the King saw it as okay to have a black slave. And, what was it that this alleged slave did to make this white King like him so much that he actually saw him as human? What ever he did, it wasn't good enough to make the King help in putting slavery to an end for the rest of the black people. Don't you get it? Thats not good enough.  As far as your saying that slave lived as a free man, was he really free to go back home, maybe back to Africa if that was his home? Or, only free enough to keep the Russian King and his associates company? You say they named a street after him in every city of Europe? Well, haven't you figured it out that his name is not an African name so at least 95% of Russia is thinking this man is another Russian.

Again, what are you trying to convey with this story?

The only thing I get out of this story is, it was another story of how if a black person pleases whitey, he may or may not get a street named after him in all the city's of Europe. Let's say though that what the king did was actually a good gesture, haven't you noticed? The slave had a Russian name, not an Africa name so who really cares that streets were named after him? This is nothing but slavery, that slave was a high class house Negroe What else did you expect me to get from this story? Are you trying to indirectly say that there are some good Russian people? I know who you know and love that must be Russian, and that is what this story must be the underlining of. If not please explain?



I'm taking note, and from what I can see you have shown nothing. The Russian King his self saw it as okay to buy a black slave so I don't see how a place where he ruled, if he existed would not have the same ideals as he. Besides, if this is true, that the Russians were brainwashed as much as the Nigerians, I can hardly see how it is the same being that the brainwash of Nigerians is causing them the inability to run Nigeria and it is causing Nigerians to flea Nigeria. Whereas with the Russians, they lost nothing and they are not fleeing their home land in search of something better.  

Bingo was his name!!!


Donzman,

I did not know how to express how excited I was that you had finally gotten it.

Cultures are all the same. They eat, they shit, they die.

Trying to pull some different this is our culture and that is yours -- leads you down the path whites are taking you. To say that one culture is better than the other.

Their not because their all the same, as defined as currently.

Thank you the lesson in slang. Maybe if you read Mamdani and African scholar, then you can learn in fact that Africa is the same so much so that he proves how South Africa experienced the same as the rest despite being "western".

@Drusilla

I never said experience led to accuracy. I said that to ensure accuracy in your argument, experience is definitely neccessary even though it isn't a sufficient condition. Do you see the difference in those statements? I believe you do because I believe you're smart enough.


I'm a horrible teacher and will soon start hurling insults at you if you don't smarten up. Cultures are different and that isn't the white man's invention. There is more to people's way of life that eating, shitting and dieing and you must be dumb if you don't realize that. I never said one culture was better than the other, all I said was that the cultures were different. There can be a difference between two things without  one being inferior and the other superior.

Donzman,

Thank you my good man. I have been trying to get someone to engage in a definition of culture for weeks, with few takers. It seems you are willing.

What is culture?

There is nothing wrong with dating or marrying an AA man if you can connect with one that is focused to succeed in life. AA men do not engage in more bad acts than other races. A lot of them don't just give a damn about their actions and end up ruining their chances of succeeding in their hustle.

@Drusilla

I just read what you are going through with Babosis and Donzman. You did good sis, you was hanging in there. I been down this road with Donzman. He believes that a white Egyptian woman is more African than I am, that was his opinion. Babosisi, she does not want anything to do with AA people and that is the bottom line. The proof is in the absolute advice she gave Uju and how she never has anything good to say about AA's. I mean this woman has never said anything good about AA's. Any how, good luck!

Culture is based on the resources that govern your area. If you live in a place where Gold is an abundant source, more than likely it will be a cultural thing for you to where gold to adorn your self. If you live in a place where torqoise is abundant, most likely the people in that area will have some kind of cultural belief that there is something spiritual about torqoise and they will adorn their self with Torqoise. No difference, only environmentally different.
 
(Example) Culturally speaking, what is trading all about? Is it about trying something new? Is trying something new cultural? Is trying something new a necessity? Or is trying something new about producing a product in demand?

Reason why I asked, Africans were not aware of guns until introduced by Europeans. Today, Africans use guns but it wasn't in their culture/history to even know about guns let alone producing guns. How has the knowledge of guns and the use of guns affected Africa and Africans as a whole/ As a matter a fact, how has the introduction of foreign weapons period affected the entire Africa? So called Culturally speaking of course.    


The thing is though, what ever the earth produces more so in our area, that is how we will shape our culture according to our environment and the resources that environment offers. If our environment changes, we will change. Like Nigerians moving out of Nigeria, is it a cultural thing for Nigerians to move so far away in order to make their life better? If so, school me because I didn't know that Nigerians have a history/culture of being a nomadic people


This goes to show that culture should not make a point in how to divide us and say we are different. All Africans need to eat, shit, clothe their self, have a home and raise children. How Africans do this is determined by their environment, the part of Africa they occupy. If your environment occurs a long time drought, I bet no one is going to care about what they eat, dress, how they build their homes and all that so called cultural stuff when it is time to find a place that does not have a drought, to relocate to, in order to survive. (Example) some where else in Africa or somewhere out of Africa if the need be. Like Drusilla said, when it comes time to eat, shit and basically live, Africans all have that need and culture will change if need be in order to survive. All Africans are Africans. If your enviorment don't produce what you need to eat jellof rice and plantains, if you got to resort to eating dirty rice and sweet yams, believe me you will an at that time, you will be the same as the people who you are eating that food with. I wonder who that could be

When you look at it, the only thing Africans do not have in common is what part of Africa they occupy and the production of resources that part of Africa they occupy produces. This alone does not make one group of Africans any different from another group of Africans.

Sista of course you already know the answer. I told Nutter that the ethnicities (tribes) of Africa could be compared to the gangs of America, which are east side west side north side south side, east coast, dirty south.

He was so offended. He is still out to get me.

Anybody else can easily understand that at the base level all people are the same, it's just a matter of geography that makes an Kenyan a Kenyan and a Nigerian a Nigerian.



Once again Sista, you have hit the nail on the head. Now a place that was full of fires, disease, religious wars, serial killers, slaves-serfs, religiousity gone mad ---- is a bad environment. So that type of environment is going to produce a people who are forced out to survive and they bring with them lots of bad habits.

Quite different from the -- anybody would have done what we did argument that whites are making, it was quite clearly their environment that led to their culture of violence.

The rest of the world suffered because they turned their home into a hell hole with their "way of life".

Whites have had to introduce the same horrible factors into other cultures to get those cultures to mimic their horrible "way of life" and see this as proof that everybody is just the same.

Only problem is them, and without the intro of them all the so called problems melt away.

Nutter is a good guy. Just a kiddo who wants Biafra to be free. (Igbo land)

That does not go well with my view that ethnicities in Africa have become more of a problem than a blessing our anscestors intended.

@debowsky



I was a joking when I asked to be schooled on whether or not the Igbo are a nomadic people.
However, in response to this quote, Not only in west Africa are there Nomadic people, herders or people who travel far for business dealings, this is something that some Africans all over
Africa do. My point is, for these people this is either due to choice that they do this or it is because of environment AKA the make up of culture. If you beg to differ, tell me how?


It may or may not be that they lack cows in those areas and want to preserve them. Or, It can be that they do not want to eat meat because the Hindus do not want to do what the Moslems do. Or it could be that they do not lack meat but have other desirable things to eat that they have a high source in. Or it could be that a cow produces milk and they revere the cow as some type of animal relating to fertility. Bottom line, if it ain't nothing else to eat on this planet, but cow, they will not care about their preference due to what ever reason. Preference is a luxury, something we all can do without. But, we can't all do without what we need. We all need to eat, sleep and go to the bathroom oh, and be happy None of those things require one to be a part of a certain culture. Again, preference is tied into environment or what one is exposed to by other environments.

(Example) Starving Ethiopians, Ethiopians have a culture but the rich ones have a luxury called prefereance. The poor and starving Ethiopians, they don't get to be included in culture made up by preferances. They eat what you give them and if their little bones and muscles can help it, they will shit out what they eat afterwrds. One will not talk about or boast about ones culture when one is hungry and one needs to shit  


I was not over simplifying the differences, the bottom line is they are all black people and they are all African. They are also all Natives to the Continent of Africa. If whitey decided to come and move all the Africans off of the continent, are Africans going to be stupid enough to say we Igbos will fight these white people by our self? Or, are the Yurobas going to be stupid enough to say we will wait on the Oba to tell us to help the Igbo save our land? Will South Africans be stupid enough to say, we will just let whitey have his way, west Africa is no where near our culture? Will the North Africans be stupid enough to say we are Arabs, not Africans? and so fourth through out Africa. Yes, those Africans may be stupid enough to say or think something like that if they keep harboring on the distinct differences in culture. It is so interesting to me how all of the Nigerians want to be claiming Fela as there brother, in fact Africans from various parts of Africa claim him as their brother and someone they identify with culturally but only if someone is famous or has money, he or she will be the one all Africans claim no matter what part of Africa he or she is from. 

(Example) One of my Igbo friends talks bad about the Yoruba, I mean really bad to the point where it makes me sick to my stomach. But, as soon as I start talking about how much I love Fela and I'm talking to another AA fan of Fela about how Fela studied AA Jazz when he went to Europe, he starts complaining and telling me I don't know what I am talking about, that Fela is the origianl and he learned nothing from AA's. The whole things is, Fela is Yuroba, from the same tribe as thoughs Yurobas he talks bad about.     



I don't know much about this but I am going to give an example of how this is not a matter of culture but a matter of choice due to the need of enviroment or the want of luxury, choice. An Igbo man posted in nairaland saying he lives in China and he is married to a Chinese woman. He said the Nigerians in china harass him and his wife and things are hard for him. He also mentioned some differences between he and his wife. Now, that Igbo man would not be in China if he was making it, surviving in Nigeria the way he feels he should but my point is, he ended up in China married to a Chinese woman. Igbos circumcise but not Chinese people, they leave that nasty looking skin right on their little boys stuff. The Igbo man said he had a problem with that but in the end, the child was not circumcised. He was conscious when he married this Asian woman that he may have to change some of his so called culture, again a choice a preference due to enviroment. Not something we people need. Preference is a luxury. Something that we don't need but something we acquire along the way due to circumstances or just plain old preferance.



But, this stuff amongst Africans happens everyday. This still proves that in the end, culture depends on where you live and who you are influenced by in the area that you live or migrate to.

(Example) All Africans of today are no where near the way the ancestors were. Another example, at one time, all Africans lived in the bush, mountains hills, etc., but some of them, not all of them migrated out into so called civilization. Was this do to an over crowding of environment?



African people are the original people, Gods first. African people are distinct from everyone because of blood types giving birth to all blood types and the high Melanin they posses, making them sun people. The sun loves African people. White people can assimilate into the ways of a certain African group, but that does not mean they are descendants from Africa or African and definately not sun people. They can by law be a citizen of Africa if they were born there or are there by choice but still, they are not African. It just means that they are long time visitors to the land of Africa and they have been very much welcomed by African people.

(Example) If you take an African violet out of African soil and place it in China soil will that African violet become a China violet and will it's children become China violets?

Roots is what makes you an African.



I agree and this is why Africa should not be wasting time on what African eats this, or what African is nomadic and so fourth.



Glad you are open, even if we agree to disagree.
 
 

I too suggest that Drusella gose to Nigeria for some time.
without dollers .
Take a regular job and go to a regular school.
Then we can talk again.
I can tell my kids stories that they wish they were there but there is the other side of the coin.
I is a hard life
It always has been even be4 any white man came.
And i still say it was rum.
my history books tell me it was rum.

@Sista:

Well, I use different languages because each has a unique way of saying things and also I just love to play with language. I remember you playing around with Sweetlove in Spanish. So I would think you could understand that.


No, my point was not that blacks are humans (that goes without saying and only a very foolish or racist being would argue against it), but that ALL humans – whether they are white/black/etc. – should not fight each other. You can disagree with each other and you don’t need to LOVE everybody. However, you should not hate people just because they are different.