Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon

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Nairaland Forum  |  Entertainment  |  Jokes Etc (Moderator: dani1luv)  |  Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
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Author Topic: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon  (Read 11098 views)
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #704 on: October 11, 2009, 08:15 AM »

I hope u are not really talking to me Undecided coz first of all am not a dude and dat is my pic.
lightwalk (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #705 on: October 11, 2009, 08:54 AM »

Quote from: sexyLeamon on October 11, 2009, 08:15 AM
I hope u are not really talking to me Undecided coz first of all am not a dude and dat is my pic.
Of course it is your pic. You are just too sexy and cute with that raffia and you don't need to be told and you are not a dude Huh (who said you are one?)
If it had been mine, I would be boasting of it just like you. So keep boasting about that highly cute and sexy girl (It may also be a good option to use it as your my profile pic) Wink
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #706 on: October 11, 2009, 11:37 AM »

Wo!wo!wo!.@ sexylemon.don't tell u're not a dude.i ve been readin your jokes 4rm page 1.since u're not guy,mayb we can relate.i need a girl to marry.but first i need u to send in your pic and tell how old u re.let's start from here first.
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #707 on: October 11, 2009, 11:44 AM »

Send in the best of your pic.cos i might reject u.and don't lie 2 abt your age.IMPORTANTLY don't say what can keep you behind the bars for the next 25yrs.that rule nø 1.OK.
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #708 on: October 11, 2009, 12:01 PM »

Quote from: Onyeasi on October 11, 2009, 11:37 AM
Wo!wo!wo!.@ sexylemon.don't tell u're not a dude.i ve been readin your jokes 4rm page 1.since u're not guy,mayb we can relate.i need a girl to marry.but first i need u to send in your pic and tell how old u re.let's start from here first.

Quote from: Onyeasi on October 11, 2009, 11:44 AM
Send in the best of your pic.cos i might reject u.and don't lie 2 abt your age.IMPORTANTLY don't say what can keep you behind the bars for the next 25yrs.that rule nø 1.OK.
U are hilarious ain't you Grin Grin abi o  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #709 on: October 11, 2009, 12:10 PM »

I'm one of a kind,unique,one in a million.Nne,don't miss your opportunity,it's comes once a life time.
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #710 on: October 11, 2009, 12:19 PM »

Quote from: Onyeasi on October 11, 2009, 12:10 PM
I'm one of a kind,unique,one in a million.Nne,don't miss your opportunity,it's comes once a life time.
with all the jokes I have posted, none have make me laugh the way you did you are funny jore Grin Grin Grin you and i know marriage is not a joke.
you do not even know me, u have no ideal whether i have a bf or not yet u are here telling me to post my best picture so u can decide whether u will marry me or not oh burst in to laughter u are funny jore Grin
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #711 on: October 11, 2009, 12:21 PM »

Rule nø 5.whenever i asked a question,give me de correct ans.without informing u.i am the PRINCE OF NKWO-OBI OF ODEKU LAND IN OWO OWO ONU town.u can email me also in ducelemo@yahoo.com
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #712 on: October 11, 2009, 12:25 PM »

Rule nø 5.whenever i asked a question,give me de correct ans.without informing u.i am the PRINCE OF NKWO-OBI OF ODEKU LAND IN OWO OWO ONU town.forget your boyfriend.do whatever dat pleases.very soon u will become a queen but on one occasion,if pass the exam
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #713 on: October 11, 2009, 12:27 PM »

Quote from: Onyeasi on October 11, 2009, 12:21 PM
Rule nø 5.whenever i asked a question,give me de correct ans.without informing u.i am the PRINCE OF NKWO-OBI OF ODEKU LAND IN OWO OWO ONU town.u can email me also in ducelemo@yahoo.com
omg I don die with laughter  Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
bigtin (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #714 on: October 11, 2009, 12:28 PM »

It's only God dat wil help all of u.
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #715 on: October 11, 2009, 12:32 PM »

I can see you are new, u have no ideal what u are saying Undecided
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #716 on: October 11, 2009, 12:39 PM »

@ bigtin.wat brought into this conversation.get out of here and find somewhere to hang on.Remember,de PRINCE is givin an order,so obey it
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #717 on: October 11, 2009, 12:40 PM »

@ bigtin.wat brought into this conversation.get out of here and find somewhere to hang on.Remember,de PRINCE is givin an order,so obey it
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #718 on: October 11, 2009, 12:48 PM »

may I see the prince photo pls Grin Grin Grin
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #719 on: October 11, 2009, 12:59 PM »

No.i can't.because if i do.all the ladies in nairaland will come after me.
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #720 on: October 11, 2009, 01:04 PM »

just put it on for 5 minutes everyone wouldn't see it. or are u the opposite of what u have been saying all this while Grin Grin Grin Grin
lightwalk (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #721 on: October 12, 2009, 04:36 AM »

Na wa oh Grin Grin Grin
Spammers don enter the joke section too

And the lemonade is starting to believe Huh Huh

A prince with a username meaning "The Lier" maybe telling the truth after all. Grin Grin
If you understand what I mean Wink
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #722 on: October 14, 2009, 12:19 AM »

Hello guys.i'm so happy to lost my virginity on an ashawo.
lightwalk (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #723 on: October 14, 2009, 12:31 AM »

^^^liar!
Kunbee
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #724 on: October 14, 2009, 06:20 AM »

 ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d :d
rokiatu (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #725 on: October 14, 2009, 04:42 PM »

nice jokes S leamon keep it up
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #726 on: October 18, 2009, 09:57 AM »

Dan's 5 day golf trip


Dan and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife
wouldn't let him!

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dan headed home totally frustrated.
The following week when Dan's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were
shocked to see Dan sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his
putter!

"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Dan?"

"I didn't have to," Dan replied. "Last night I slumped down in my
chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and

covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she
was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me
into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want' ,

SO HERE I AM !"
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #727 on: October 18, 2009, 09:59 AM »

Never argue with a woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing
  and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
  wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,
  anchors, and reads her book.

  Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside
  the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

  "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

    "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
  "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

  "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
  start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

  "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
  says the woman.

  "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

  "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
   you could start at any moment."

  "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.


  MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
  also think.
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #728 on: October 18, 2009, 10:03 AM »

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own.

But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor.

So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock.

But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.

So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, “Why can't I touch its fur?” as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it.

Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla.

He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.

Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else's sports car and drove off.

In the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behing him.

He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree.

He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest.

The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla.

The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shaddow coming down the street ahead.

The gorilla!

It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked striaght into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly.

This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint.

The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, “Tag! You're it!”
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #729 on: October 18, 2009, 10:04 AM »

A white guy is sitting in a bar next to a black guy. "Hey, dude," he asks. "How's it you black dudes are so popular with the ladies?"
"Well," the black guy replies, "it's all a matter of fuckin'. When you white guys mess, you just stick it in and Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am! It's all over before it's even started. When we make love to a woman, we tease her first, and then only when she begs for it, we stick it in slow, and gentle like. We put in hard, then pull it out real slow and easy. That's the secret man, tease her until she begs you for it, and then jam it in real hard and fast an pull it out real slow and gentle like. Works every time."
The white guy finishes his drink and goes home. That night, in bed with his wife, he remembers the black guy's advice. First he teases his wife until she begs him to put it in her, and then he starts fucking her, but he jams it in like before, but pulls it out very slowly and very gently.
"Hey," she says to him passionately. "When did you learn to mess like a black guy?"
Onyeasi (m)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #730 on: October 18, 2009, 11:22 AM »

Oh girl u don spoil.u don dey learn our tricks.but i 4 like 2 knw more.so y don't u teach me
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #731 on: October 18, 2009, 11:36 AM »

so the prince goes around doing bad things Grin
rokiatu (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #732 on: October 19, 2009, 03:44 AM »

Quote from: sexyLeamon on October 18, 2009, 09:57 AM
Dan's 5 day golf trip


Dan and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife
wouldn't let him!

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dan headed home totally frustrated.
The following week when Dan's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were
shocked to see Dan sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his
putter!

"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Dan?"

"I didn't have to," Dan replied. "Last night I slumped down in my
chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and

covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she
was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me
into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want' ,

SO HERE I AM !"

lol Cheesy Cheesy
muffins (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #733 on: October 22, 2009, 02:43 AM »

Nice Joke. Tongue
benanne (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #734 on: October 22, 2009, 02:11 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
the guy is high!
he had better not return home any time soon. Cheesy
sexyLeamon (f)
Re: Coolest Jokes By Sexyleamon
« #735 on: October 23, 2009, 06:56 AM »

A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner Love ? Chicken, beef or lamb ?"

He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."

"mess You," came the reply, "You're having soup. I was talking to the cat."
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