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sexyLeamon (f)
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This foreign man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and in a thick accent and somewhat broken English says, ”I like to buy those ladies drinks.” The bartender replies, “It won’t do you any good.” The foreign man, with a confused look on his face says, “Not matter, I want buy those women drinks.”
So the bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and they acknowledge the drinks with a nod of their heads. About a half hour later, the man approaches the women and says, “I like to buy two drink more for you ladies.”
The women both reply, “It won’t do you any good.” The foreign man says, “Me not understand. What you mean ‘won’t do me any good’?” The first woman says, “We’re lesbians.” To which the foreign man asks, “Lesbians? What is a lesbians?” To which the second woman replies, “Lesbians… we like to lick female orifice.”
The foreign man yells, “Bartender, three beers for us lesbians.”
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rokiatu (f)
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nice work madam, am loving this thread  |
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Onyeasi (m)
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Hello sexy.If i came up wit dis situatiom.I will definetly turn 2 lesibian.
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Onyeasi (m)
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Hi sexy.Hw u dey?.I'm a kind of missin u.If u hav 4got,na d PRINCE.
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sexyLeamon (f)
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Hi sexy.Hw u dey?.I'm a kind of missin u.If u hav 4got,na d PRINCE.
oh yeah I remember the prince  how is your kingdom? |
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sexyLeamon (f)
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband. "It is 3 o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push!" "Did you help him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!" The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello. Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
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sexyLeamon (f)
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A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.". "What?" asks the priest, "what happened?". "You gave birth to a child!". "But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby." About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".
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rokiatu (f)
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband. "It is 3 o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push!" "Did you help him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!" The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello. Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
best joke everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
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sexyLeamon (f)
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darling you look lovely  |
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rokiatu (f)
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same goes out to you thanks
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sexyLeamon (f)
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Two engineers were riding in a hot air balloon. They were blown off course and were completely lost. They finally saw a guy on the ground and they shouted "Can you tell us where we are?" After a few minutes, the guy yelled back "You're up in a balloon." One engineer said to the other, "Just our luck to run into a mathematician". The other engineer responded, "How do you know he was a mathematician?" "Well, in the first place he took a long time to answer; second, his answer was 100% correct; and third, it was totally useless."
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sexyLeamon (f)
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A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to "enforce the laws pending".
He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, "Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?"
The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden.
The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's butt, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?"
The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license.
The warden took a second duck, inserted another finger in the bird's butt, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?"
The hunter, getting annoyed, produced an Idaho state hunting license.
The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said,
"This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon state hunting license?"
Once again, only this time more aggravated, the hunter produced the appropriate license.
The warden, a little disappointed at having struck out, handed the ducks back to the hunter and said, "You've got all of these licenses, just where the hell are you from?"
The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and said "You're so smart, YOU tell ME!"
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sexyLeamon (f)
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This guy is hunting duck one day, and manages to score only one. He chases down the carcass, only to find that it has landed on the other side of a fence marked "PRIVATE PROPERTY -- KEEP OUT!"
He looks around for signs of other people, and not finding any climbs over the fence.
Suddenly a shot rings out. "Hey! What are you doing on my property?" he hears. A second later, an old man comes into view riding a 4 wheeler.
"I came to get my duck," the hunter tells the old man.
"Like hell you are! That duck is on MY PROPERTY, so it's MINE!" shouts the old man.
The hunter, clearly not willing to give up without a fight, yells "I SHOT it! It's MINE! Now, get out of my face before I hurt you, old man!"
"Well," muses the old man, "around these parts we have a way to solve this kind of problem. We take turns kicking the other guy in the nuts, and whoever gives in first, loses."
The hunter, thinking he's in pretty good shape and obviously a lot tougher than this old man, says "Fine! Bring it on, old man!"
The old man says, "Since this is my property we're on, I get to go first."
The hunter steels himself, and says, "Ready, old man!"
The old man winds up and delivers a kick that almost knocks the hunter out from the pain. He writhes on the ground for 15 minutes, squirming and holding his bruised nuts.
Finally, he stands up and snarls, "Now it's MY turn, old man! GET READY!"
The old man says, "Nah, that's OK. You win. You can have the duck."
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2Direct (m)
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All dis jokes are too long to my liking jor
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rokiatu (f)
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lazy |
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sexyLeamon (f)
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All dis jokes are too long to my liking jor
studio get your azz outta here, you ain't been force to read it! |
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donjon
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Wetin do studio username?
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sexyLeamon (f)
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what do u means?
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sexyLeamon (f)
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are u obsessed with my picture or whot  |
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rokiatu (f)
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who nor like good thing  |
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sexyLeamon (f)
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A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a list.
"Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging scavenger hunt?"
To which the little boy replied, "Our sitter's boyfriend."
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sexyLeamon (f)
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A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside and kicked the shit out of him.
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sexyLeamon (f)
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The virgin
A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor
how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, "Well, you need three things.
A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel."
The man was astonished and asked, "So what do I do with these?"
The doctor replied, "Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue.
If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever [/b][b]saw', you hit her over the head with the shovel."
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sexyLeamon (f)
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There were 3 ministers a Hindu priest, a Rabbi and a tela evangelist that were on a trip together and were traveling all night and began to get very tired on the trip.
They decided to stop at the next town and catch up on their sleep. When the arrived all the rooms were taken, however they were told there was a farm house down the road and the farmer should be able to accommodate them.
When they arrived the farmer told them he had only 2 rooms and that one would have to sleep in the barn. So the Hindu priest ok, I'll sleep in the barn. Well about ten minutes later there was a knock on the door it was the Hindu priest he said he could not sleep in the barn as there was a cow in the barn and the cow is a scared animal and that was against his religion.
The Rabbi ok, I'll sleep in the barn and left. About ten minutes later another knock at the door it was the Rabbi and he said he could not sleep in the barn as there were pigs there and that is not kosher according to his religion.
The Tela- evangelist said OK, I'll go and sleep in the barn and he left, about ten minutes later there was a knock on the door.
Are you ready for this???
Scroll Down,
The farmer open the door and, the Cow and Pig were at the door!!!!!!!
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2Direct (m)
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Still too long
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