Poetry Contest

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Nairaland Forum  |  Entertainment  |  Literature/Writing (Moderator: StephenP)  |  Poetry Contest
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Author Topic: Poetry Contest  (Read 12570 views)
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #128 on: November 10, 2006, 10:30 PM »

Quote from: Genial on November 10, 2006, 10:29 PM
I don't know another Nilla, Nilla.


ok

hope it wasnt bribery also  Tongue
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #129 on: November 10, 2006, 10:32 PM »

No. It was a gift.
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #130 on: November 10, 2006, 10:33 PM »

Quote from: Genial on November 10, 2006, 10:32 PM
No. It was a gift.

awwwwwwwwwwww.

so sweeeeeeet.

 Kiss
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #131 on: November 10, 2006, 10:34 PM »

we already know i like it.

i'd wait to see what the others have.
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #132 on: November 10, 2006, 10:36 PM »

LOL.

Ok.

I love it when you smile.
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #133 on: November 10, 2006, 10:39 PM »

when did you see me smile  Cheesy ?

anyways i'm smiling now  Grin

If anyone comes into my office right now, they will be wondering whats gotten into me. wide smileeeee on my face
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #134 on: November 10, 2006, 10:42 PM »

You always smile in my minds eye.
That's how I see you, Nilla.


Can you critique the poem, please?

I'd like you to show me the picture it paints in your mind, how effectively I have communicated my thoughts, and what exactly you like about it.

There you go again.
Your smile makes me warm.
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #135 on: November 10, 2006, 10:46 PM »

Quote from: Genial on November 10, 2006, 10:42 PM
You always smile in my minds eye.
That's how I see you, Nilla.

There you go again.
Your smile makes me warm.


*blushing*


alright i will critique it but not now.

i havent still recovered  Grin
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #136 on: November 11, 2006, 12:40 AM »

Now I have to fight with some dude over my girl, my own personal Nilla, and that aint funny.storms off to meet genial

Omo genius, them pay you? Nna una see me see trouble oo. You're in my teeth, my hair, I can't even breathe. You need'a back off. Grin Just kidding. But I guess the guy sharp pass me; I'll go find greener pastures somewhere else. . . it still aint funny

hmm
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #137 on: November 11, 2006, 12:49 AM »

challenger

One tip for my adversary in armor-blue:
I shall swing my sword low
And with stealth I shall blow
And with feigned cries of pain
I shall bid you cocky
And might you think for once you have me
But for your pride, I'll watch you lose.
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #138 on: November 11, 2006, 01:21 AM »

Nilla? Your attention is needed here quickly!
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #139 on: November 11, 2006, 02:58 AM »

I'm still trying to say the contest is kind'a flawed when the judge is hyper-ventilating. "challenger" is a reply to frank. Here's my piece below.
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #140 on: November 11, 2006, 03:15 AM »


MADRE

Her brow sweaty, clothes ragged, figure gaunt
She looks tired, she is tired.
Hair dread-locked by dirt, feet with dust covered
Closer. She humms a raspy tune
The tune is raspy or might be her voice
But her eyes seem focused, dirty and focused.

By God, I wonder where she comes from,
Maybe I should wonder where she goes.


But those eyes stare like royalty, who is she?
Who could she be? A queen? A warriors widow?

The desert sun scorching. There's only one tree, I sit under.

Alas! She walks toward me. I feel terror-- numbness-- I'm speechless
Knees weak I stand. Our eyes meet. She falls.
She is dirty, she must smell. But she's in my arms smelly or not.
She's out. How long has she but walked? She needs water.

She's under my tree; still in my arms, still beautiful. Still out.
But who is she? I wipe her face. SUCH CONCEALED RADIANCE!

Those eyes open and catch me sobbing and wishing and cursing
and swearing--


I gasp "who are you?"
And from beauty interior she breathes:
"My name is Nigeria" . . .
franc1982 (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #141 on: November 11, 2006, 11:44 AM »

'Deja Vu'

A cold  drizzly moonlight night,
Somewhere in the woods lying in hay,
Only the moon kept our wet bodies in sight,
Where love alone had a say.

Naked as we first were,
Our hands and tongues wander in febrile fire,
The earlope, neckline, nipples, backline, public hair,,
Giggles, kisses, ecstasy
Like it never were.
Licking and tracing,
Moving down the navel,
While a hand caresses and squeezes,
I find and make an ice-cream of it.
Farther down the region,
Climbing with fingers and everything within my mouth,
leaving my warm tracks moist,
You convulse in round and rounds of orgasm.
Weak but undone,
You pull and push me in, in phases,
Slidding deep and deeper into your warm slippery pot,
Until the very end leaves me cooking and breathless.
Your eyes urge me on with legs wrapt round thighs
They keep me locked and rocking,
A slow continuous rhythmic ritual,
A streaming orgasmic dance,
Till we're done but lost in embrace and breath.

A little turn,
And I jolt out of sleep biting fingers,
Cos it really never was,
And I'm all messed up.
franc1982 (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #142 on: November 11, 2006, 12:04 PM »

@ Genial
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I see bribe flying all over the room. I don't want to be Jose Mourinho, but the bros are pushing me. How do want her to be fair after such a poem? I nearly wet my pants, a male for that matter. Easy bro, she's the judge not a lover. Huh Huh Huh
LMAO!!!
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #143 on: November 11, 2006, 12:20 PM »

LOL, Franc! Are you also a comedian, as well as an accomplished poet?

Thanks, by the way.
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #144 on: November 11, 2006, 12:28 PM »

I like this, Macalurs.

Quote
But those eyes stare like royalty, who is she?
Who could she be? A queen? A warriors widow?

She's under my tree; still in my arms, still beautiful. Still out.
But who is she? I wipe her face. SUCH CONCEALED RADIANCE!

"My name is Nigeria" . . .

Good job.
somegirl (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #145 on: November 11, 2006, 01:19 PM »

 
   Madre --- mother, how beautiful she could be
   if not for her bad luck and the ill-treatment she receives.
   Pride, strength, compassion sleep in her heart
   Macalurs, thanks for showing her true self in your art.

nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #146 on: November 11, 2006, 05:26 PM »

my poem first then my comments later. Macalurs i see you have a Nigerian poem now. so do i.


my first poem ever.


NIGERIA

Oh hail Nigeria
Land of multiple languages
Land of multiple cultures
Land of variety and diversity

You may say its troubled
You may say there is no hope for it
But I urge you, think again
For its the dawn of a new era

No other place would you find such uniqueness
People are happy regardless of adversity
Grace, style and persevearance is their hidden name
Always colorful in exotic outfits

Oh hail Nigeria, my home
Can't love any other like i love you
Love undisputed
Value priceless.
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #147 on: November 11, 2006, 05:27 PM »

My heart went out with the piece. Nilla inspired it. like for real. . .  no woos

Thanks-- somegirl & genial.
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #148 on: November 11, 2006, 05:30 PM »

Nilla is that really your first painting? it's breathtaking. . . "Just like vanilla"
somegirl (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #149 on: November 11, 2006, 05:30 PM »

My dear Nilla, na lie o! This can't have been your first poem ever - just way too good for that. Grin I like em - your and Macalurs' poems - better than those that paint Nigeria in very dark colours.  Smiley
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #150 on: November 11, 2006, 05:35 PM »

Quote from: somegirl on November 11, 2006, 05:30 PM
My dear Nilla, na lie o! This can't have been your first poem ever - just way too good for that. Grin I like em - your and Malacurs' poems - better than those that paint Nigeria in very dark colours. Smiley

darling it is.
cant you see how long it took me to come up with one. like i said earlier i never really paid attention to poems until francs thread.

Quote from: macalurs on November 11, 2006, 05:30 PM
Nilla is that really your first painting? it's breathtaking. . . "Just like vanilla"
thanks.
Nilla is actually from vanilla  Smiley
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #151 on: November 11, 2006, 05:43 PM »

Quote
Can you critique the poem, please?

I'd like you to show me the picture it paints in your mind, how effectively I have communicated my thoughts, and what exactly you like about it.

Genial
i like everything about it. but just wondering what this line means: Twin peaks alluring, so very turgid



meanwhile,
Genial and macalurs pls no fighting on my behalf  Grin


"Madre" and "Deja vu" i will comment on later.
Genial are you sure you dont want to put in one to compete with those two?


macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #152 on: November 11, 2006, 05:43 PM »

Nilla is actually from vanilla It takes some guts to keep a name that beautiful. You seem it.

Anyways, I've read your poem and you don't seem a first-timer. Trust me you'll be powerful after the next score.powerful as in-- somegirl no go even see your break-light Grin
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #153 on: November 11, 2006, 05:46 PM »

lol.

i dont know how soon i'll have another one out.
meanwhile i added you to my YIM.
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #154 on: November 11, 2006, 05:47 PM »

 Kiss you're perfect
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #155 on: November 11, 2006, 05:51 PM »

perfect how?
macalurs (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #156 on: November 11, 2006, 05:53 PM »

Just another way of saying thanks for adding me on your YIM
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #157 on: November 11, 2006, 05:55 PM »

aight  Grin
Genial (m)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #158 on: November 11, 2006, 06:06 PM »

Quote from: nilla on November 11, 2006, 05:43 PM
Genial
i like everything about it. but just wondering what this line means: Twin peaks alluring, so very turgid

That was a description of the breasts. I shouldn't have to tell you this, you know.

Quote
"Madre" and "Deja vu" i will comment on later.
Genial are you sure you don't want to put in one to compete with those two?

All in good time, senorita. Methinks those two were in response to my Nilla.
nilla (f)
Re: Poetry Contest
« #159 on: November 11, 2006, 06:13 PM »

Quote
That was a description of the breasts. I shouldn't have to tell you this, you know.

who's breasts are you talking about   Embarrassed  Embarrassed  Embarrassed Grin  Grin  Grin
lol

Quote
All in good time, senorita. Methinks those two were in response to my Nilla.
lol

so you want me to judge "Nilla" "Madre" and "Deja Vu"
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