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dablessed (f)
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Very well said Layi. I sincerely Wish there were more men on the same path of reasoning. Well done and keep the hold on brother, you will have no regrets you did.
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sage (m)
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nicetohave + sage + Cimon Jorr, may the almighty God be with u all. Simon, that is why u will always remain my main GEE on NL  It is only a foolish and useless man or woman that thinks of only sex. For a mature and serious minded person, sex doesn't come just like that, its going to be natural, when both never expected it will happen, they will just find themselves doing it. True love will take charge and every other thing will follow. I will first of all love my girl, care for her and I will make sure we are always together. If both parties are really fond of and love each other very well, the feelings for themselves will then take charge. By the time we eventually agree to have sex is not going to be determined whether it should come before marriage or after marriage, it will come naturally, since that first day we develop true love for ourselves. Someone telling me that sex before marriage is a SIN is on his/her own. Arrant Nonsense. I will marry a lady because she possesses everythin I want from a woman and in all ramification of life, so therefore, sex isn't going to be an exceptional. Besides SEX NA SERIOUS MATTER, when it comes to a serious affair and a serious marriage. Not all these TATA affairsGod knows who dey serve am. If u are a virgin or not, that is your own cup of tea, u know your inner-mind. Nobody is going to fool me, what of, if she says she doesn't want sex before marriage and u concur, and she goes out there to do it with another guy? How would you feel when u get wind of it? Such happened to a very close friend lately @ Kenflavour i agree with you in a way. I am not saying that i will go after any girl 4 simply sex in the disguise of wanting a solid relationship (hell yeah u can alwayz get sex) but if we are to get into a real serious relationship, a pre exclusion of sex is not acceptable period. Our relationship should be left to define itself, not u to define it 4 me. Funny enough, it is only a woman that i am planning a future with that i really want to get intimate with( not minding the side plays). Sex solidifies relationships. It also breaks others. It boils down to what u want (or rather what we want). If we are going to make progress in our relationship then u can not pre exclude anything. For me, all aspects have to be open. So if any girl comes around me blabbing what i don't want to hear, we might well leave it at the good friend stage. In the long run anyway, even after the marriage, we will still get more or less tired of the sex and what keeps our union together wont be based mainly on the sex(whenever it happened will not be an issue then). Time and experiences help define a relationship and keep it going in the long run, but many things help in solidifying the relationship. Money and sex are not to be equated, but the fact is that they are both means of expressing affection and are necessary if a relationship is to be built up(my own views) b/because of the role that they play in building up the relationship. As the relationship grows with time, the inverse effect sets in and those two factors slowly decline in importance. Both however are usually important in adult relationship development. Funny enough, i don't place the utmost importance on it (i believe it comes with time and naturally), but a move to singley isolate it and pre exclude it would not work with me even if the compactibility issue was completely put aside (which i am not saying it will). I want to ask all these guys that keep coming from a religious angle I have discovered that many of them(many of them around me) are even 1st class wankers. Does christianity encourage wanking (even of a 1st class order)? Would Jesus clap for you for leaving sex and then imagining u were forking some imaginary girl while twisting your waist in different directions and beating your poor meat ( i wonder if those guys would like to see their faces when they do that) Even though the later part of it is not part of the discussion, i just want to draw their attention |
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sage (m)
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Funny ironies of life
1 the presence of much money is not enough to make a good and loving relationship.
The absence though is enough to break up a relationship
2 Good sex alone cannot make a completely good relationship
The absence also is enough to destroy a relationship
( and talking about relationships, marriages are included)
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kenflavor (m)
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Thanks a lot sage, you have just taken the word out of my mouth. I meant exactly what u stated above. No lady should pre exclude or isolate sex in any relationship, every decision should be understood by both parties. I am not into looking for girl friends, coincidentally, I am presently searching for my bone (running mate) and I am very sure when I see her I will know and she wouldn't tell me that sex after marriage is one of the pre-requisites to marry her. We will both love ourselves and take care of ourselves in all ramification. Besides, I am not even looking for a virgin for marriage. @ LayiI feel you and I am very happy for you. Just keep it up and I believe my God will make u remain steadfast until after your marriage. What is good for you might not be okay with Ken. What really matters most is our individual relationship with God almighty. If the only sin I commit is to make love to a woman I intend to get married to before the marriage thingy, I am cock sure HE will understand and forgive me, by the time HE sees the way I take good care of her and my commitment to her after marriage. What about those (for example, Abuja Marriage) that live together because of accomodation problems and they bulala themselves until the woman gets impregnated and they continue from there as husband and wife, is that also a SIN? dablessed please answer me |
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dablessed (f)
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@Kenflavor: Yes, it is a sin.
The fact that a guy ends up marrying a flat mate he has been fornicating with does not justify the act. Truth be told, they were first fornicators, then husband & wife.
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Ashbaby (f)
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My answer to the subject question is one....YES!
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IAH (f)
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Sage, what you are now saying is totally different from what you said previously on this thread.  |
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jen (m)
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not all guys are intrested in sex. take me for an example i don't go out with a girl just for SEX i go out with her for what she see's in me and what i see in her. i don't tell i love her just because i want to make out it's becoz i do love her. i respect her and wait when she's ready. and in your question i think the guy should really respect her and wait until she's ready.
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sage (m)
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Sage, what you are now saying is totally different from what you said previously on this thread. Hi @IAH what did i say b/4 that is totally different?  If u were talking about what i said about money, then that was just my thoughts on any girl i percieve as a gold digger telling me bullsh!t and thinking she will have me clapping 4 her and then get me to spend a penny on her. Its no secret that most girls tell some men who are willing to listen to their crap (b/because they believe that denying a man sex would make him keep spending money since he has not gotten what he is supposedly looking for) and then keep taxing those guys. I have seen these happen so many uncountable times. I have had personal experiences too. I have had one friend and from day one she is already blabing that she will sleep with only her husband to me. I never asked her for anything and y she was alwayz putting stress on it was what i did not know then. If she only wanted to sleep with her husband, that was her own biz and her cup of tea. I did not need to know about that because such info don't do nothing 4 me. When she thought i had gotten that hammered into my head, the only other things she came up with was how to spend my money. She was always telling me that i was the stingiest guy she had ever seen(but at the same time coming up with ridiculous ideas of how to spend a clubbing weekend in a 5 star hotel and always stressing that we would keep off each other or better still pay 4 two rooms) When i asked how the bill was to be shared, she starts ranting that i am the man. What Bullsh!t. Anyway, in my good nature i never answered her (but in my mind i alwayz thought is she crazy or what? Does she think my mom gave birth to a fool) Ive never suggested sex to u in anyway and u keep talking rubbish. Y does she not get that her husband, whoever that would turn out to be, to do that 4 her, or maybe her pastor since she was claiming holy or even her father. This is just one of so many experiences. Ive seen all that crap b/4 Bottom line is the woman i would even marry would not pre exclude sex from our relationship, so any lady suggesting such wont see much daylight from me (unless she wants help in pursuing the rats in her house) |
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sage (m)
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Every other part of a relationship is left to grow, y should this be pre excluded. If i am in love with my woman and she is with me, then we should be completely open to each other, ready to take care of each other, and willing to make sacrifices. I will not pre exclude anything from her and neither would she from me
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kenflavor (m)
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@sage simple as A B C, my brother. I feel u and I guess we were born on the same day and same time. because u are just my replica A lady also told a friend, whom he met two months ago and the first thing she would say to my friend goes like this ...........hunny, please oo, I am not into sex relationship, I have promised my God not to go into a relationship that involves sex, I will rather wait till after my marriage ............... and two weeks later she brought a list of things to be bought against Xmas and New Year celebration. Do u know what my friend told her? ....... sorry dear, last month I took a vow and promised the almighty Jah to save my money and don't spend it unneccessarily until after my marriage.............. |
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sage (m)
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@sage simple as A B C, my brother. I feel u and I guess we were born on the same day and same time. because u are just my replica A lady also told a friend, whom he met two months ago and the first thing she would say to my friend goes like this ...........hunny, please oo, I am not into sex relationship, I have promised my God not to go into a relationship that involves sex, I will rather wait till after my marriage ............... and two weeks later she brought a list of things to be bought against Xmas and New Year celebration. Do u know what my friend told her? ....... sorry dear, last month I took a vow and promised the almighty Jah to save my money and don't spend it unneccessarily until after my marriage..............  . Ah kenflavor my man. its only guys weh never wise de learn lessons the very hard way. I am usually on the alert for girls with such stories. I have had those kind of experiences so many times. If a girl rants that she is a virgin, i will only have sex with my husband, i am waiting for the 'glorious night' bla,bla bla that is her own goddamned business and her cup of tea. What has that got to do with me?. That is too much info from my own angle and i surely don't need to hear all that. Take it to those who have time 4 such stories or better still go and tell that ur story to the bank. I am sure the manager might be pleased to hear all that and might grant u a loan, but as for me ur yarn no put money 4 my account. When she will truly get to know my true colours is when she thinks anything will make me spend my dime on her then i will tell her of my own personal vow, ie never to spend a penny on a woman that is not my wife period . Even if she thinks i am playing time will tell her otherwise. I don't see why i would love a lady unconditionally and then u dig out restrictions on our relationship from all places. I know how to place restrictions too and lets place that and start to see where it gets us. Really though, i can't build a relationship that a lady starts by yarning me that kind of dust from the begining. The irony is that i will never rush a lady into anything. I don't even believe in asking ladies 4 sex. When it will come up in our relationship, it would come up naturally based on the kinds of feelings and emotions that we have b/w us. U can't bury genuine emotions. If me and my lady feel we are ready for it we would go 4 it. Its just an aspect of our relationship. Its usually up to couples to decide what works for them, and what works 4 us might be diffrent 4rom what works for the other guys. No two relationships are the same and no single path produces exact results. Life is not all black and white |
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kenflavor (m)
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yes oooo, my brother. What is good for d Admin may not be good for Ken |
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sage (m)
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yeah my bros. I live with one good ethic and that is Decieving others is bad enough, but to decieve oneself and to live ur life lying to yourself all ur life is the worst thing u can do to yourself. It does not do you any good, it does not do anyother person any good. (if i know in my heart i can go 4 something, il go 4 it. Whatz the gain of going about decieving myself and others just to say what they want to hear. Life has many simple choices and if it dosent work for you, it could 4 me. don't complicate it by trying to please everybody because u can't U called Admin |
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kenflavor (m)
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Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies Never spend your money before you have it. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today Sage is that what u meant??? |
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snazzydawn (f)
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Kenflavor and Sage-----Two of a kind!!! |
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kenflavor (m)
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thank u buzzy body |
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snazzydawn (f)
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u go soji oooo!!! you no go fit type again o!!! |
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kenflavor (m)
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make adesodgi gbab u. He go bulala you. You are making fun of his name
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dablessed (f)
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Ken and sage! Am ashamed at your reasoning. Its quite disappoining to read that you guys will not freely spend on your girlfriends unless she releases herself for sex. What do you guys take ladies for by the way? An object of prostitution? Very disappointing indeed.
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sage (m)
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Ken and sage! Am ashamed at your reasoning. Its quite disappoining to read that you guys will not freely spend on your girlfriends unless she releases herself for sex. What do you guys take ladies for by the way? An object of prostitution? Very disappointing indeed.
Hello Sister dablessed. Ah easy now. Nobody is saying what u just said now. The posts were quite clear. You don't have to be dissapointed ok. its just simple facts of life. dablessed 4 real don't you know that i could have taken a vow not to spend my money on any woman who is not my wife? Why should she not love me sincerly even if i don't spend a dime on her? Am i giving her money in exchange 4 love? Why should she be in a hurry, afterall we would be spending money each and every day after our marriage and even for the rest of our lives. Why can't she wait for me till whenever i am ready (in this case after our marriage) to spend anything on her? Is our love just 4 money? If she wants to spend money so bad why can't she simply take care of herself? What does she see me as; a money spining machine? Why can't we achieve other things without bringing in the issue of spending money now into it? Any woman is free to answer all these |
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sage (m)
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Kenflavor and Sage-----Two of a kind!!! guys are just beign real, if you no shine ur eye, person go shine am for you. If after that person u still no wan wise, na u sabi Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies Never spend your money before you have it. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today Sage is that what u meant??? Yeah men u see i know u feelz me |
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bedone (m)
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GUYS!, is the relationship going to turn to marraige or what. Let us face reality, you are like 19 years of age to 21 or younger, still going to college and have no plan or focus on a relationship leading to marriage and you have a girlfriend, you are both enjoying each others company, experimenting to gain experience and having sex. Men, the girl should understand. What does the girl want, me calling her, taking her out everyday and reading her bed time stories? A girl who is not ready for sexual relationship should not even smell relationship because the question will definately come except he his "the boy is nice" (Slacker).
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CimonJorr (m)
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After listening to reading what has been said by sage above, I must admit, he does make some valid points.. |
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luridguy (m)
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@ bedone .......i feel if u really like not love now just like her u should respect her wishes at least for some time till she comes arround and its not about being a slacker sex does make the relationship u mean u can't just hangout with ur girl friend she should not just be someone u have sex with she should like ur pal so sex does become the most important thing don't get me worng it matters and if she really likes u she would end up being being the one asking for sex
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kenflavor (m)
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Ken and sage! Am ashamed at your reasoning. Its quite disappoining to read that you guys will not freely spend on your girlfriends unless she releases herself for sex. What do you guys take ladies for by the way? An object of prostitution? Very disappointing indeed.
@dablessed Plz don't be, and do not mind my last post, I was only kidding and also to butressed sage's post. I will advice u to start this thread all over again and I am cock sure you will understand our points. Why should a lady meets me today and starts telling me that I should forget about sex until after marriage, when I have not demanded for such. So it's as good as to tell her that she should forget my attention and money until after marriage |
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Helly (f)
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This topic is a very nice one. One thing about me is that i like setting things straight at the initial stage so that there'll be no problem or arguement whatsoever later on. If i want to date a guy, the first thing i'll let him know is that i'm not into sex then if he can cope fine because' most guys are like that...the moment u agree to go out with them then the next thing is sex...they'll want to have sex with u and when u refuse they'll assume u're doing with someone else. so i wouldn't like a situation like that and that's why i'm going to let him know that i can't have sex with him so that if that's the reason he came to me in the first place he'll go try his luck somewhere else. PEACE!!
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kenflavor (m)
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Helly that's good. please I will advice u stay away from relationship until when u are ready for marriage, because I guess is only a virgin, someone that matubates or a slacker that will go into a serious relationship with you after spelling to him what should hold in ur relationship with him
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ty4eva (f)
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The problem lies with the guy, they often ask for sex as if it's a true test of LOVE. I'm happy for the guy who finds his girl asking him instead.
Sex is a spirit and shld not be misused.
Guys should not pester their ladies for sex, it shld be a mutual consent, otherwise, girls cut out from any relationship where u r being forced to do what u don't wnat to do.
It's a matter of choice
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sage (m)
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Helly that's good. Please I will advice u stay away from relationship until when u are ready for marriage, because I guess is only a virgin, someone that matubates or a slacker that will go into a serious relationship with you after spelling to him what should hold in your relationship with him
Ah Ken my man, u know, ive seen so many guys that spend all their money on a dust yarning b!tch, and then go home and spend all their time wanking (esp my overly religious friends, they are something else when it comes to wanking (real first class wankers) The problem lies with the guy, they often ask for sex as if it's a true test of LOVE. I'm happy for the guy who finds his girl asking him instead.
Sex is a spirit and shld not be misused.
Guys should not pester their ladies for sex, it shld be a mutual consent, otherwise, girls cut out from any relationship where you're being forced to do what u don't wnat to do.
It's a matter of choice
Exactly. Its a free world |
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Helly (f)
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Sex is not all there is in a relationship, there's more to a relationship than just sex...does it mean that one cannot have a clean relationship without sex? this is what u'll do and even get tired of after marriage so why the rush?.....ok for the ladies, what if after messing yourself up with a guy thinking that he's going to marry u then he dumps u later? and for the guys, how would u like to marry someone that has been seen in and out by another man? it's more like a 'second hand' like people would say, wont u appreciate a girl who has kept herself morally chaste inspite of all pressure's just for you? a girl that it's only u that have access to her body?...c'mon guy's it's just wonderful considering the fact that we live in an immoral world where sex is the order of the day, if i'm going to have sex with a man, it MUST be after marriage...i mean i can't give my pride to another man who would'nt cherish it 4ever...i believe that a girl's pure moral stand is what make's her beautiful and unique. so for the girl's who are on the right track as regards morality i'll advise u to hold on to it strongly.. never allow anyone take it away 4rom u no matter the gift's and all that...i'm sure the owner will greatly appreciate and cherish ur effort when u find him...and so will the Almighty God. PEACE!!!
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