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SAM MILLA (m)
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The teacher brings a picture of a naked woman into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert."
"The long hair," says Robert.
"Very good. And you, Peter?"
"Her breasts!" says Peter.
"Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust.
"And you, Johnny?"
"I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving, "
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Kajiang02 (m)
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sam you're good
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rasulua (m)
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Sam u really good
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SAM MILLA (m)
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The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."
Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework."
The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."
Mary says, "The sky is very dark, perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."
She calls on Little Johnny in the back.
Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were going to pee on the piano."
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Akinagirl (f)
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sam, this is great, keep it coming, please.
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SAM MILLA (m)
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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor."
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Two yoruba ladies are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, BISI, what do you have in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"
"I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm, , five?"
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A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.
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SAM MILLA (m)
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TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
===
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
==
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime
==
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the
same at home.==
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
=
Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
==
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North Africa.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered Africa?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm John Okafor.
TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
ALFRED: I get up early and start.
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not. HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher , snakes don't have feet.
HYGIENETEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is,
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defense," and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
MATH TEACHER: If you received 100 from 100 people, what would you get?
JOHN: A new bike.
TEACHER: If you had one 20 NAIRA and you asked your father for another 20 NAIRA, how much money would you have?
VINCENT: 20 naira.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father ,HE wont give me.
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank goodness!
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Migines (m)
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Hilarious man! I've read d ist few before tho.
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SAM MILLA (m)
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man talking to his friend man:I cannot see your face His Friend:Why is that so?  man:Today i am wearing my wife's eyeglasses friend:Why is that so? Is your one broken? man:No.Its only because my wife wants me to see the world her ways == Wounded American A wounded American soldier in a battlefield hospital in Iraq tells the nurse: "How I wish I could kiss the American flag if I am going to die!" Nurse, extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism: "Actually, I have the American flag tattooed on my bottom. You may kiss my ass, if you don't mind it." Soldier: "Of course I wouldn't mind it. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish as a patriot American." The nurse took off her undies and the soldier kissed the flag. Soldier: "Thank you, nurse. Would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Bush too?" |
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SAM MILLA (m)
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Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter, First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know, " First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."
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Migines (m)
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Dats 1 smart ass dog. Lol
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SAM MILLA (m)
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The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?"
"Yes," said Jackie, and she did.
"Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?"
"That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!
===
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?
Fred: None!
Fred (surprised): Why not?
Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
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Migines (m)
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I guess this thread is your diary.
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SAM MILLA (m)
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yes , this is where i pack them all.
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SAM MILLA (m)
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The teacher of the school geography class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked:
"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude, ?"
After a confused silence, little Johnny volunteered - "I guess you'D be eating alone!"
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Christino (m)
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Sam You are the best!!!
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efuah (f)
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Sam u are great  |
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SAM MILLA (m)
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LITTLE BOY: "My math teacher is crazy". MOTHER: "Why?"
LB: "Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2."
====
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lancaster (m)
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[b][/b]  ;Dman you are something,you always make my day very ''sammy'' |
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SAM MILLA (m)
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One sunny day in 2012, an old man approached the ASO ROCK, . He spoke to the SECURITY OFFICER standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President YAR ADUA."
The OFFICER replied, "Sir, Mr. YAR ADUA is no longer President and doesn't reside here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the ASO ROCK and said to the same OFFICER, "I would like to go in and meet with President YAR ADUA".
The OFFICER again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, YAR ADUA is no longer President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away . . .
The third day, the same man approached the ASO ROCK and spoke to the very same SECURITY, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President YAR ADUA."
The SECURITY, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to YAR ADUA. I've told you already several times that Mr.YAR ADUA is not the President anymore and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!" The OFFICER snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you
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SAM MILLA (m)
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Confessions Of A Kid
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a
troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's
mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his
birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last
year. "Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this
year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your
birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to
write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would
like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote
a fourth letter.
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a
good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a
bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as
Bobby looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother
told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby
went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if
anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He
slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the
street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room
and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his
letter to God.
.
.
.
.
.
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE
BIKE!!!!!!!!!!
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SAM MILLA (m)
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A HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE GETTING READY FOR BED.
THE WIFE IS STANDING IN FRONT OF A FULL LENGTH MIRROR TAKING A HARD LOOK AT HERSELF.
"YOU KNOW LOVE" SHE SAYS, "I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I SEE AN OLD WOMAN.
MY FACE IS ALL WRINKLED, MY BOOBS ARE BARELY ABOVE MY WAIST, MY BUM IS
HANGING OUT A MILE. I'VE GOT FAT LEGS AND MY ARMS ARE ALL FLABBY."
SHE TURNS TO HER HUSBAND SAYS,
"TELL ME SOMETHING POSITIVE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF."
HE THINKS ABOUT IT FOR A BIT AND THEN SAYS IN A SOFT VOICE,
"WELL, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR EYESIGHT."
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SAM MILLA (m)
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Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
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mdsocks (m)
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Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
wow sam-milla i dey enjoin you ooo |
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Migines (m)
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Lmao
just like d old lady at da bank.
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SAM MILLA (m)
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Two calabar girl are walking along in a park one morning.
Suddenly, the younger one notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The older stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where is it?"
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SAM MILLA (m)
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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner in here."
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skyfaze (m)
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that 's nice joke GUNNER 4 LIFE A HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE GETTING READY FOR BED.
THE WIFE IS STANDING IN FRONT OF A FULL LENGTH MIRROR TAKING A HARD LOOK AT HERSELF.
"YOU KNOW LOVE" SHE SAYS, "I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I SEE AN OLD WOMAN.
MY FACE IS ALL WRINKLED, MY BOOBS ARE BARELY ABOVE MY WAIST, MY BUM IS
HANGING OUT A MILE. I'VE GOT FAT LEGS AND MY ARMS ARE ALL FLABBY."
SHE TURNS TO HER HUSBAND SAYS,
"TELL ME SOMETHING POSITIVE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF."
HE THINKS ABOUT IT FOR A BIT AND THEN SAYS IN A SOFT VOICE,
"WELL, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR EYESIGHT."
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