Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Religion (Moderators: mukina2, A_K_O)  |  Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
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Author Topic: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?  (Read 9315 views)
queen2 (f)
Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« on: October 25, 2005, 11:27 PM »

Just curious, i want to know if its right for couple to live together before their marriage?

I need your views on this, all your replies will as well be appreciated,  Wink

- Co-habitation Before Marriage -
angel baby (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #1 on: October 25, 2005, 11:50 PM »

i think it depends on the situation
sade (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #2 on: October 26, 2005, 12:13 AM »

 Its wrong.I'll give u details tomorrow.
stababy (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #3 on: October 26, 2005, 09:36 AM »

   Its wrong.period!
IAH (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #4 on: October 26, 2005, 11:19 AM »

It's WRONG!!! No debate.
dovey (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #5 on: October 26, 2005, 11:54 AM »

It's wrong for a couple to live together before marriage because there would be no respect and dignity.
whocares
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #6 on: October 26, 2005, 12:21 PM »

It is your choice, just use your instinct.

By the way, where is it written that "it is wrong period"?
casper (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #7 on: October 26, 2005, 02:17 PM »

no matter what IT IS WRONG!!!! Angry
Greatpeter (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #8 on: October 26, 2005, 02:18 PM »

It's absolutely wrong!
layi (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #9 on: October 26, 2005, 02:36 PM »

I don't think its wrong. It depends on both of you.  What is wrong is carnal knowledge of yourselves before marriage not living together.  So I'll say it's risky but not wrong.
JWdayise (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #10 on: October 26, 2005, 03:26 PM »

i think it is wrong, because of respect
Seun (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #11 on: October 26, 2005, 03:30 PM »

Respect?  How do you mean?  How does cohabitation destroy respect?
Odeku (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #12 on: October 26, 2005, 03:35 PM »

No as this will bring them closer to each other, and they will learn to accept each others fault.
fabian (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #13 on: October 26, 2005, 04:10 PM »

For me, its not wrong if they wont have any carnal knowledge of themselves before marriage, but really how resilent are they? Its not advisable because Body no be firewood oh!
Motee (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #14 on: October 26, 2005, 04:37 PM »

To those of you saying it is wrong:

JUST A THOT:
Do you have sex before marriage and feel comfortable because you are not staying together so no one knows?

OR

You rather stay together and let us know yes, they are doing it and they are not pretenders.

layi (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #15 on: October 26, 2005, 04:44 PM »

Exactly fabian.
Apost Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:23 - All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
Its not outrightly wrong. Neither is it a sin. If cohabitin wit ur lover is a sin..cohabiting wit ur mother/siter is also a sin.
Its risky though and strict measures should be taken to guide against premarital sex if u MUST live together
.
Quote from: Motee on October 26, 2005, 04:37 PM
To those of you saying it is wrong:

Do you have sex before marriage and feel comfortable because you are not staying together so no one knows?

OR

You rather stay together and let us know yes, they are doing it and they are not pretenders.



The thread is not about sex within or outside cohabitation.  Most people who said its wrong are actually guiding against premarital sex.
fabian (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #16 on: October 26, 2005, 04:56 PM »

@ Motee,
Neither!

@ layi,
wassup? long time eh? i have jist for you!
layi (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #17 on: October 26, 2005, 05:17 PM »

Thanx for the Gist. I appreciate it. love ya sis.
michelin89 (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #18 on: October 26, 2005, 05:59 PM »

absolutely no! I even think it's the best idea a future husband & wife could have! In fact once they get married they have to live in the same house and get used to each other's habits: good and bad. But sometimes you may find out that you don't like most of the things your companion does and this can bring insatisfaction into the marriage..that's why i suggest before getting married to try and live together for at least some months to see the example of life you're going to go into once you pronounce those words: "I WILL"
nana (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #19 on: October 26, 2005, 06:09 PM »

no,i don't think it is bad for as long as they are both serious about their marriage!
ocho (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #20 on: October 26, 2005, 06:23 PM »

Okay, if u say living together and not having  sexual intercourse, that'll be a  different issue because there might have been difficult circumstances that warranted them living together so i wouldn't consider that wrong, i mean they could be living under the same roof and sleeping in separate rooms but if living together and having sexual intercourse before marraige, in my honest opinion and going by my christian beliefs, that's  wrong!
NduGod (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #21 on: October 26, 2005, 06:26 PM »

 Christians in this forum should know that the holy Bible is against it 
otokx (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #22 on: October 26, 2005, 06:36 PM »

VERY WRONG
shockreaction (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #23 on: October 26, 2005, 07:34 PM »

Quote from: NduGod on October 26, 2005, 06:26 PM
Christians in this forum should know that the holy Bible is against it 

BEST. POST. EVER!

Seriously, dude, what Holy Bible are you referring to?
queen2 (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #24 on: October 26, 2005, 08:11 PM »

got the idea, thanx y'all
CimonJorr (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #25 on: October 26, 2005, 09:35 PM »

I'm curious..  Huh Huh

For those that say it is wrong, then WHY???

For those that say it removes respect and dignity, then WHY??? Huh Huh

And for those that say that the Christian Holy Bible specifically states that this is wrong, then WHERE??? Huh Huh Huh

It would be nice to know ur sentiments... objectively...
Seun (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #26 on: October 26, 2005, 09:47 PM »

The assumption is that unmarried couples who live together are likely to be having sex on a regular basis like a regular husband and wife, and that's why Christians and Muslims generally frown at it.

Culturally speaking, a woman who lives with a man who is not her husband is seen as a 'loose' woman because she's not only taking part in forbidden sex (as assumed), but she's 'flaunting her immorality' for the whole community to see by living with him.  She's not being discreet about it. 

The society's attitude is like this, "yes, we know that you're having sex with your boyfriend, but don't flaunt it as if there's nothing wrong with it."  We know that we are all sinners, but let's at least respect the fact that what we're all doing is wrong!  Let's show some shame, and discreetness.  This is called hypocrisy!
CimonJorr (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #27 on: October 26, 2005, 09:49 PM »

So... working from the above..

The issues at stake are more of a "public opinion" issue and not based on laid down tennets or practices.. It's more a case of what people might think or say, rather than laid down instructions to the contrary... ?? Huh
nferyn (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #28 on: October 26, 2005, 09:56 PM »

Quote from: michelin89 on October 26, 2005, 05:59 PM
absolutely no! I even think it's the best idea a future husband & wife could have! In fact once they get married they have to live in the same house and get used to each other's habits: good and bad. But sometimes you may find out that you don't like most of the things your companion does and this can bring insatisfaction into the marriage..that's why i suggest before getting married to try and live together for at least some months to see the example of life you're going to go into once you pronounce those words: "I WILL"

I cannot agree more. Marriage is a serious thing and you should be very certain that you will fit together. You cannot possibly get to know each other if you haven't lived together. When lovers meet, they always will want to show their best side. Only living together helps you find out if you're made for each other or not.
CimonJorr (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #29 on: October 26, 2005, 10:01 PM »

@nferyn..

Any comments on the issues I raised above Huh
michelin89 (f)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #30 on: October 26, 2005, 10:01 PM »

percfect answer
nferyn (m)
Re: Is it wrong for a couple to live together before marriage?
« #31 on: October 26, 2005, 10:15 PM »

Quote from: CimonJorr on October 26, 2005, 10:01 PM
@nferyn..

Any comments on the issues I raised above Huh

Yes, I think you're right.
1. It's not wrong when people that love each other want to be together, it's only natural
2. It does not remove respect and dignity. People that claim that have a skewed perspective on respect and dignity. let them define the terms first.Than we can discuss
3. The Bible is not my favorite reference material when it comes to ethics. I prefer Peter Singer's utilitarism.
4. These issues are indeed based on society trying to impose an arbitrary morality on people that do no-one any harm. If they want to live by the teachings of whatever book they fancy, fine, nobody's stopping them. But let them not impose their particular brand of morality on others
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