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9ja4eva (m)
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Hope you didnt have a contract thing for papers?White girls too like Blacks.
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bluenubian (f)
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Go ahead and have your precious baby and jus pray he comes around, he doesn't want to accept the baby because of the stigma surrounding the situation, maybe he ll learn to overcome that with time.
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Eurphoria (f)
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exactly she should just go have her baby and forget him, if he wants to see the child fine, if he doesn't, his loss.
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sammyjl (f)
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 Oh my! Girl, you aint the first and surely aint going to be the last.
Go back to your home country and raise the baby on your own. Remember this is the world we are living in and each second, its turning, so meaning, where u were today is not where u going to be tomorrow.
Who knows what the future holds for your child to come. Never forget that God is there to listen. As for the man, leave him and see where it all ends.
Take good care of yourself and do not bother about him. If your child grows up oneday wondering, tell him/her the truth. 
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Beautygyal (f)
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1 thing am going to tell u is u on't need that man to be the father of your baby. God is the father of your baby. PC  |
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NdukweJC (m)
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Hello,
You didn't tell us whether your boyfriend is an Ibo,Hausa or Youruba,since Nigeria is a very diverse
community with different cultures and family values and a lot will depend on which of these tribes he hails from.
If your boyfriend is an Ibo man,I think I can give you some practical advice.
I am a Nigerian and I live in South Korea, I'm married to a white lady, from Russia.And we live happily together.Your situation is very familiar to me, it is a very common situation in Russia where we have very large number of african students.You can contact me through my e-mail for a private discussion.
All the best!
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Eurphoria (f)
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whether he is ibo hausa yoruba i don't think it matters many men do this to women across the world and they are from all the ethnic groups in Nigeria. case is he left her, she is left holding the baby and thats that.
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NdukweJC (m)
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I agree with you that many men can behave such and abandon their children in such situations,
I can only speak for the Ibos,because I'm an Ibo man and live in the eastern Nigeria where mostly the inhabitants are Ibos.
An Ibo man hardly can abandon his child in a similar situation,it does not even come to his mind since he knows
that the child is his blood.This is what our culture and tradition teaches us,he is not just a sperm donor like some people are trying to put it,he has passed to that child his gene,and of course this inheritance biologically makes him an Ibo man;a Nigerian.If he is an Ibo man and his family knew about it of course they would encourage and support him to officially establish father child relationship and support the child morally and finacially.I know it sounds as if we are sinless but this is they way we are born and brought up.If you like agree with it or not if he his an Ibo that is the minimun way he will treat this matter.
All the best.
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Uche2nna (m)
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If the husband is an Ibo, then he is lying to You. Nobody is going to crucify him for having a kid outside. It is not encouraged, matter of fact it is severly frowned at. But once the deed is done there is no turning back. He will break the news to his people.Of course, there will be utter disappointment. The wife will threaten fire and brimstone. But at the end of the day, nerves will be calmed and feelings will be soothed.The cliche Blood is thicker than water will carry the day.Our family values are very strong and no matter what the circumstances are we always would rather not allow our flesh and blood leave or stay as an outcast.
If your boyfriend comes clean to both his Nigerian wife and his people, they will surely accept your baby as one of their on. Do not even be surprised if he gets to be mentioned in the sharing of the ancestral's lands.
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Radiant (f)
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Ummm. . . .First of all, I have a feeling you not white and there's more to your story.
Anyway, why bother about telling his family about the baby? If you insist on having the baby then go ahead and leave the man alone if he doesn't want to share the responsibility with you.You can't force him 'cause anyway he doesn't want the baby. You are the one who insists on having the baby.
So what if you have an abortion? Will you be the first to do it? No! and will definitely not be the last. It's possible you've had an abortion before but just want to have this one.It's also possible you haven't done it before.
All this noise about lying to you and all that 'ish is pointless! You've got the money and the ability to raise the kid so go ahead and leave the man alone!
Why worry about what the family will do? They can't do anything than accept the child but can't promise they'll accept you if he's indeed married to another woman.
If you want to tell his family and wife, despite the man's objection then go ahead. If the news ruins his marriage I guess you'll be happy.
You not the first to be in this kind of situation and I can assure you that this man will definitely want to know his child someday.
The future of the child depends on you who insist on giving birth to him/her. The family has nothing to do with his future!
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mamaput (f)
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It depends.
Like they say latest at the death bed of the man we get to know the family.
What of the childs birth right.
We cannot assume that all kids born abroad will not want to "Go home "one day"
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Radiant (f)
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Exactly! It all depends on the woman and the man though. They have to agree! But the future of the child has nothing to do with the man's family!
I barely know my extended family and believe me, they've not contributed jack shit to my bright future.
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Uche2nna (m)
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@ Radiant It is not a crime that the woman in question would want her son to be intergrated into the father's family. As a mara of fact, that should be the ideal situation. If the father thinks otherwise then he should come up with better and cogent reasons then serving the woman with this cock and bull story of running the risk of being ostracised from his family if they get to know that he has a child outside his matrimonial home. Who will ostracise him?  |
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Radiant (f)
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Uche, and if she goes to the man's family, what happens next? They'll give her a room in the family house and take care of her and the baby? Abeggg! White people don't really bother about this 'ish. I really wonder if this woman is white She can keep in touch with the man but to go digging into his family is giving herself a long lasting headache! Uche, you talking as if you not a Nigerian. She want's to know the family huh? She should go ahead. Not my problem!
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choongtin (f)
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not been horrible or anything i don't believe you because really u dnt sound like a white girl because if you're a real white girl u wuld go to your country and get benefits init and life goes on
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Eurphoria (f)
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true, i think it is boggy bogus  |
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mamaput (f)
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That woman is white and not stupid.
She wants to have more or less a fixed address of the man. Whats better than the fathers house.
She knows that child will grow and ask Questions.
And this woman whats some answers,
If she is smart she will assume her child will be smart and not be satisfied with a "Your father is a Nubian prince somewere in Africa"
She will want to be able to locate the father when ever the boy wants it.
What the father will say is an other ball game she will know she did her best.
This is not some Whitetrash getto girl that did not go to school and just wants a brown baby .
This is an educated woman that felt she was in Love
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Radiant (f)
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What will the man's family do for her and the child? How concerned can she be? Abegg!
Like I said earlier, she should keep in touch with the man and the baby will be fine. The idea of meeting his family and ancestors is completely pointless! My opinion!
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mamaput (f)
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Its not about what they will do.
Its that they will acknowledge it.
As in Grandma grandpa,
If it was you that had a child for some one will you like it if he is not telling his people-
She has to tell them and everything is then left to them.
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mamaput (f)
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Radiant i read that advise you gave her. I find it very bitchy and not what one would give a friend. It even full of Vernor. That woman did nothing to You. You know what they say about birthright, roots,heritage,lost. So if the father dies tomorrow and the boy is looking for him he should go and suprise some relations at his fathers grave,, A boy comming from no were?  I know many people looking for their fathers, |
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Radiant (f)
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My post, bitchy? Hmm!
As for the woman, she should be prepared for anything and expect both the good,the bad and the ugly. Having a baby for the man is no guarantee she'll be accepted. Ohh! Prolly will get to know the man's village and his name like you'll say at least if nothing good comes out of her visit.
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Eurphoria (f)
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don't think it was bitchy at all, it was her opinion besides the poster is not Rad's friend so what does it matter ? its a forum
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Radiant (f)
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lol. . . Eurpho, I'm amazed too |
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Radiant (f)
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Where's the woman sef?
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Eurphoria (f)
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lol she has bigger issues Rad, please there is a Bambino to care for |
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Radiant (f)
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lol. . . I wonder what kind of advice she was expecting to get here. She should do what she wants to do and stop painting Nigerian men black. They're dark enough to be painted black again  Na today! Infact, make I no talk sha before this thread go turn into. . . Eurpho, help me out  |
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Eurphoria (f)
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lol what do you want Rad? |
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Radiant (f)
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No worry sha. Them deh craze! |
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Eurphoria (f)
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yes they have a problem with slowness |
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Radiant (f)
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lmao. . . there are days like that |
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