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chinani (f)
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Talking about them "bragging" and "praising themselves", in what sense d'u mean that isn't clear to me?
Bragging about how the men beat them? Or how they maltreat them? Or how they ground them? Or how the men solely depend on the women to feed their asses and clothe them? Or is it the marital unfaithfulness?
Can you please tell me what they brag about? Chinani I was asking you the above questions. I wanted to know if it was the above they brag about or other things?  I didn't say that's what you said. Neway, takia No, I've never heard anyone brag about the above, as in brag about beatings or unfaithfulness etc. Mentacide maybe?  You're bad! |
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Radiant (f)
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lol
Chi baby! You missin my point. I'm asking you, what do they brag about? lol
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chinani (f)
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lol
Chi baby! You missin my point. I'm asking you, what do they brag about? lol
Oh sorry, I must be slow today. I meant bragging about themselves as in forming an exclusive group for the sake of feeling "better than others". (I'm not against self-help or self-esteem.) |
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laudate
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Laudate, what's your point?
Did I condemn all the marriages?
Did I say they only stay 'cause of the kids?
You only chose to emphasize on these two huh?
You said in one of your posts that "if these women can make their marriages work, then why can't Nigerian women married to Nigerian men make their own work"? Correct! And that's where I came in to say that only 'bout 20-30% of the marriges work out.
Now what the fuss??? What's your annoyance or objection? There is no-one fussing over anything, anywhere. And last time I checked, there was no reason for annoyance of any kind. Or is there a problem? You did write in a previous post, that most of those expatriate women stay in their marriages to Naija men, because of their kids. Please go back to your post no. 198 made on October 20, 2006, where you stated that " Most of these women are in Nigeria because of their kids not even because of the man.Those of them who are still in Nigeria are not happy but because they've found themselves in circumstances they can't help or don't have courage to speak up to avoid physical abuse, they decide to remain a slave for the sake of the kids." Do you recall this statement? Good. I merely chose to point out the fact, that I do not agree with this assertion. And I gave reasons, why. It is wide-sweeping & too generalised. So am not sure why you have chosen to keep asking the question , " what's your point?"At the risk of repeating myself, I must reiterate the fact, that the points have been made. Simply free your mind. |
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Radiant (f)
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How else will I free my mind when what I've said is hard for you to swallow?
I saidMost of these women stay in Nigeria for the sake of their kids. Yes!
Some of them have good marriages and the rest can't afford to help the bad situations and have no choice than stay back, kids or no kids.
Still don't get it???
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mamaput (f)
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How else will I free my mind when what I've said is hard for you to swallow?
I saidMost of these women stay in Nigeria for the sake of their kids. Yes!
Some of them have good marriages and the rest can't afford to help the bad situations and have no choice than stay back, kids or no kids.
Still don't get it???
i second that |
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laudate
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How else will I free my mind when what I've said is hard for you to swallow?
Tsk, tsk, why are you asking someone else to swallow a prejudiced, generalised view?
I saidMost of these women stay in Nigeria for the sake of their kids. Yes!
Hmmn, thank goodness. , In another previous post dated 25th of October, you had asked: "Did I say they only stay 'cause of the kids?
You only chose to emphasize on these two huh?" All I did, was to point out the fact that you had indeed made those statements in a previous post, which you were now turning round to deny, in a latter post. The contradiction was merely highlighted. Secondly, most couples stay married for a variety of reasons. The decision to stay or leave a marriage is the sole preserve of those involved in such marriages. Whether they stay for the sake of their kids or leave despite the presence of such kids, remains their prerogative. No one can say categorically, that the kids are the sole reason, for their decision to stay behind. There are different strokes, for diffferent folks. Some of them have good marriages and the rest can't afford to help the bad situations and have no choice than stay back, kids or no kids.
Still don't get it??? Oh , pity, you should have put this across clearly much earlier, instead of making wide-sweeping statements like '70 per cent of those marriages are dead', in your previous posts. Now that you have used the word "some," it helps the reader to put the issue in proper perspective. There is no point in using misleading statistics, which are not backed by research, to get subjective points across. |
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Radiant (f)
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Geeez!!! wtf? I want to believe you have a sight problem.
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laudate
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Geeez!!! wtf? I want to believe you have a sight problem.
(Sigh), so you are lost for words, !! There is no need to be rude, tsk, tsk! |
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sammyjl (f)
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 If you are mature enough, girl, follow your heart. The world is changing and everyday things are changing, yeah sure your parents won't approve of something like that, but why don't you sit and discuss this matter with them. Sometimes parents do not tell us why they do certain things, and we assume they just hate our boyfriends or girlfriends. Find out all the facts first. There is always reason to everything and there is no greater problem, bigger than an elephant and was never solved. Every problem has its solution, one way or the other. I don't see what is wrong to mix culture or tribes. In my country its not a problem, we see mixed cultures and tribes dating each other all the time and its very common and normal this side. Maybe your man's tribe did something to your tribe in the past or something else, find out. But one thing is for sure NOTHING CONQUERS LOVE, ITS A VERY STRONG FEELING.
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mamaput (f)
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Many of these women married against the wish of their family.
Some even turned their backs on them.
Comming back with children makes you first dependent on someone to make a new start.
A lone the i told you so looks.
These women know they many not even get a visa back to visit their kids.
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abdkabir (m)
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Hurray  , my hundredth post on Nairaland. Fair enough, its on an issue of great importance to Nigeria, Africa, da World. I guess there are times referring to a previous post would just do. Sammyjl has given a very good comment. Make attempts to, Balance your views with that of your parents..You might get to convince them or learn somethings from them.I tell you, it's always good. Salutations to the people of Namibia. |
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Yahoze2000
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It would be good taste to remove his name from your comment, out of respect
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OpeLovely (f)
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There's nothing wrong with Inter-tribal relationships but what matters is one's happiness and whether the families accept each other especially the immediate family (not extended). And some people say, the angel you know is better than the angel you don't know. I've dated an Igbo man and an Ijaw man and i must admit those experiences taught me valuable lessons.
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laudate
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There's nothing wrong with Inter-tribal relationships but what matters is one's happiness and whether the families accept each other especially the immediate family (not extended). And some people say, the angel you know is better than the angel you don't know. I've dated an Igbo man and an Ijaw man and i must admit those experiences taught me valuable lessons.
Pray tell, what were the lessons you learnt? Do share them!  |
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OpeLovely (f)
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They are personal but i will rather stick to my yoruba roots. Kudos to those dating outside their tribes. Enough said.
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omoovie (f)
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My dear this kind of mentality is sadly rampant in Nigeria. Yoruba and Igbo or Birom and Bini or Urhobo and Isoko intermarriage will cause katakata within the family. I bet you if your brother brings and Oyibo girl home though you mum will give alllowances for error and differences in culture and background. Naija peeps are confusing my dear. It's the old nepotism and tribal divide rearing its ugly head. If you truly love the guy do what is within your power to make your mum and the rest of your fam accept him because our culture entails a marriage of families rather than of individuals. However, at the end of the day remember to ask yourself this two questions, "is this man truly worth all this work and heart ache on a spiritual, mental, physical, financial and emotional level?" "Do I love him and does he love me enough to place ourselves ahead of our families?" If the answers are yes then honey go for it (Na una two go dey house together afterall), if not---reconsider.
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