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Joan4427 (f)
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Nigeria, West-Africa!!! Why me, ?Novel coming this July!!! The text below is just a blog. Read excerpts of the actual novel and reserve a copy at http://bernardbooks.com/form.html So I beat-up on two kids half my age and landed them in the emergency room with cracked ribs.
"What's the big deal?" You ask from the side or your mouth, not letting go of the Nintendo cruiser you clutch in your hands.
Well, the big deal is my parents panicked and catapulted us from the our lovely home in San Francisco to the middle of nowhere in Owasso, Oklahoma. Major downer!
You sip from your soda can. "I still don't get it," you mutter, slurping the drink around in your mouth, "so you relocated to the mid-lands, who gives a shit?"
I have just one question. You ever been to Owasso, Oklahoma?
No?
Then shut the hell up and take my word for it. After living most of my life in 'Frisco, Owasso felt like cowboy land to me. Shoot! They even have cowboys and totally have like, native Indian names for their towns. Osawatomie, Oolagah, Owasso, Okmulgee,
Like, who the hell named these towns? The guys from 'Dukes of Hazard?' Crazy!!!
Anyways, we moved to Owasso (pronounced 'Owass-ah' by many natives), and I hated my parents for it. They put me in some middle school filled with a bunch of stupid kids that know nothing about being cool. Many of them wouldn't even know what a cigarette looked like if it came poking them in the eye.
Bummer!!!
I had no friends. My best friend Sasha was back in 'Frisco dating cute guys and lounging in pools and beaches, sipping slushies and eating ice-cream. Me? I was caged in Owasso, wearing drab clothes to school and eating cafeteria-cooked-crap for lunch. Yuck!!!
Even the extracurricular activities in the school was like, totally booorrriiing! There was no group for aspiring actresses like me. No serious music group with incredible talent like mine. And definitely no musicals or talent shows whatsoever. Instead, they had baseball. Who the heck wants to play baseball?
You give me a reproachful stare. "Baseball is an American fave," you say.
Yeah, yeah, Baseball and the Angels and the Braves and yatty-yatty-yada!!! Give me a break!
So, like, the only kid I identified with at that middle school in Owasso was this guy named Samuel Machiovich. Cool kids in the school nick-named him 'Slinky Sam.'
I was cool, so I called him Slinky Sam too. He was the major and the most widely connected supplier of cigarettes and drugs in the school. I was one of his frequent customers, Lol!!!
"What!!!!" you scream. "Cigarettes? Whatcha go picking up that disgusting habit for?"
First off, smoking is not a disgusting habit, at least, not when you stick to the occasional cigarette. It's when you become addicted and or graduate to reefers that it becomes disgusting--and at whatever age you start doing it.
In my case, I started smoking cigs when I was like, eight? Nine? I forget. But, while in 'Frisco, I only smoked like one or two sticks in three months.
Then we moved to Owasso and I met Slinky Sam and the likes of him. Things quickly took a turn for the worse. I started smoking more frequently, you know, just for relaxation and to let-off steam. I was netting in at about two sticks in three days. Then the urge to smoke became more insistent. Before I knew it, I was smoking a whooping pack of cigs in two weeks! Gawd!!!
Then guess what?
"What?" you ask, all eyes and ears now. (Finally, I've been able to gain your full attention. Lol!)
Okay, so, Slinky Sam totally introduced me to something stronger than just tobacco.
"I knew it!" you yell. "The Slimy bastard!"
Well, it's not totally his fault. I could have said no if I wanted to. Problem was--I seriously needed something to get my mind off my parents selfish decisions and judgment. Jeez! What do they know about my life?
So, at first, I tried a few kinds of weed, nothing too serious, just harmless grass and stuff. Then one day, Slinky got me the real deal. Marijuana!!!
"Marijuana??!!!" You yell,
Yup, it cost me ten bucks a roll too. Slinky said it was the best weed in town.
"Whatcha do? You smoke it?" You are now at the edge of your seat, perched and staring at me in awe and unbelief.
To be fair to you, the answer is yes! I did smoke the reefer, We cut classes and went behind the school dumpster during school hours. I took one puff and closed my eyes, hoping to savor the promised freedom the warm smoke would bring.
The next thing I knew, a heavy hand clamped down on my shoulder.
I was busted!!!
By the time I snapped my eyes open, Slinky Sam was nowhere to be found.
You laugh so hard you fall to the floor and roll around. "I told you so!"
Yeah, and honestly, I don't blame ya! That weed-smoking escapade was the last straw for my parents. I got expelled from middle school and three weeks later, I found myself on a plane nosing its way to Nigeria, West-AFRICA!!!
You betcha! I'll be back with more, so hang around!
Lotta Luv,
Carlotta
For more information about the upcoming novel FEDDIE GIRL, visit Bernard Books Publishing http://bernardbooks.com
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Joan4427 (f)
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Also see: Feddie Girl's Blogs http://joanpeck.wordpress.comThe novel FEDDIE GIRL is about the experiences and adventures of an American teenager that is enrolled in a Nigerian Federal school. Reason and motivation to blog about this upcoming novel is to enable readers and fans of the novel get to know the major character personally. The blog is written in the voice and seen through the eyes of this American teenager (Aka Feddie Girl). She communicates directly with her fans and periodically updates interesting bits of information about her personal life and family. Thanks! Joan |
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bluespice (f)
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awwww that sucks! but your parents. . . . . . really, like seriously!!!!  okay so what? u whacked a coupla 6-yr olds in your defense they totally asked for it i mean u warned them hey! n u got busted for weed lol almost every kid in middleschool tries that shit once its a pity u just got unlucky n wat were they expecting u to do anyway? like seriously they dump u in a school where uve got no friends, the kids r totally uncool n the same parents rarely ever talk to u i think sending u to Nigeria (where the hell is that anyway? asia?) was pretty intense i mean arent there school counsellors? isnt that that what they pay them for anyway? *rolls eyes* (sorry was too tempted  ) |
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Joan4427 (f)
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Lol! Who can predict how parents would react these days? Bluespice, My Dear, you haven't even heard the whole story. You haven't heard the gist about her parents. You can read the earlier stuff at http://feddiegirl.blogspot.com. Lol!!! Glad you were tempted. Thanks for your opinion. I'm sure Carlotta appreciates it. BTW, you've earned a complimentary copy of the main novel, FEDDIE GIRL. Go to http://bernardbooks.com and click on the 'reserve' button. Fill in the information and in the 'comments' section type: Joanpeck/Nairaland/Bluespice. I will alert our sales dept and they will mail you a free copy when the novel gets published in a few weeks. (Let me know when you've made the reservation!)  |
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bluespice (f)
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gee thanks lol i did n then i realised by july my address woulda changed  a soft copy will do just fine tho  really appreciate it tho  |
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oyinda. (f)
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I just read excerpts from websites and I don't like the character of this Carlotta girl.  too much nasty attitude (ie swearing at prefects, unkind description of classmates etc). I don't think the readers will sympathize with her character at all. . . But the book seem to have a unique story. . . yeah Nigerian parents tend to send their kids back to Nigeria if they are proving to be too much of a problem child. Nigeria has a really strict disciplinary culture. lol but i'm surprised at carlotta's case though since her dad is half-nigerian with a white wife. He seems to be very detached from the country. I don't know why he would send his only child there.  that's quite interesting. |
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Joan4427 (f)
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@ Oyinda
Lol! So you don't have sympathy for the girl but identify with why her parents would make such a radical decision and ship her off to boarding school in Najia.
I actually agree with you. This is exactly the way it starts: First they become aggressive and start beating-up their classmates. Next, they start smoking cigarettes and weed. Then who knows what next? Guns? It's good that her parents thought of arresting the bad behavior before it becomes much worse. At least sending her to boarding school in Naija will help shape her up. Trust Naija schools--the senior girls will knock sense into her head in no time. Lol!
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Ifez
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I have just one question. You ever been to Owasso, Oklahoma?
No?
Then shut the hell up and take my word for it. After living most of my life in 'Frisco, Owasso felt like cowboy land to me. Shoot! They even have cowboys and totally have like, native Indian names for their towns. Osawatomie, Oolagah, Owasso, Okmulgee,
Like, who the hell named these towns? The guys from 'Dukes of Hazard?' Crazy!!!
Anyways, we moved to Owasso (pronounced 'Owass-ah' by many natives), and I hated my parents for it. They put me in some middle school filled with a bunch of stupid kids that know nothing about being cool. Many of them wouldn't even know what a cigarette looked like if it came poking them in the eye.
Bummer!!! This part is just sooooo great. If this is just a blog, then I'm definitely interested in reading the whole novel. |
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Joan4427 (f)
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Lol!!!
You've got a good sense of humor, Ifez.
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Ifez
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One of the best-written posts I've come across on this forum.  The story is funny, interesting and very engaging. The write-up is well-written, punchy, articulate, and rich. It engages the senses and makes it a joyous and sensational reading experience. Kudos!!!!!!  Looking at your profile, you seem to be a professional writer, as well as in the publishing industry. I am not surprised at all. |
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Ifez
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@ Joan,
The same question applies to this one. It is just a blog, right? Not actually part of the main Feddie Girl novel? Please, in future, indicate which is a blog and which is an actual excerpt from the main novel, so that readers will understand and be able to distinguish one from the other.
As for me, I've been to both the publishers website and the two blog sites you maintain (WordPress and Google Blogger).
I like you marketing angle with the blogs. Many of us Niaja writers should take a cue from you.
Way to go, sis. Please keep it up!
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Joan4427 (f)
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One of the best-written posts I've come across on this forum. The story is funny, interesting and very engaging. The write-up is well-written, punchy, articulate, and rich. It engages the senses and makes it a joyous and sensational reading experience. Kudos!!!!!! Looking at your profile, you seem to be a professional writer, as well as in the publishing industry. I am not surprised at all. Thanks, Ifez. However, I can't take credit for a work that isn't mine. The excerpts and blogs you see about FEDDIE GIRL are all written by the author, Nona David. The publishing house I work for acquired the sole right to publish her works starting last August. I am the book publicist for Bernard Books Publishing, although I posted the works here, on blog sites, etc, I did not actually write them. I will pass your praise over to the actual author though. And BTW, she's on Facebook should you need more info about her and her work. Alternatively, you can also become a fan of FEDDIE GIRL on Facebook and keep in touch that way. Thanks for all the kind words! Joan |
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Joan4427 (f)
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@ Joan,
The same question applies to this one. It is just a blog, right? Not actually part of the main Feddie Girl novel? Please, in future, indicate which is a blog and which is an actual excerpt from the main novel, so that readers will understand and be able to distinguish one from the other.
As for me, I've been to both the publishers website and the two blog sites you maintain (WordPress and Google Blogger).
I like you marketing angle with the blogs. Many of us Niaja writers should take a cue from you.
Way to go, sis. Please keep it up!
Ifez, Yes of course, you are right. This is just a blog, it isn't part of the actual novel, FEDDIE GIRL. I had no idea the prospect of having both excerpts and blogs was confusing to readers, though no other person mentioned it. Also, all the blog articles have a disclosing statement saying they are blogs about the main character of FEDDIE GIRL, i.e. Carlotta Ikedi. One would think that was enough disclosure, but, who knows? Thanks, though, for pointing that out. I'll call the Senior Editor's attention to it and see what can be done. Like I said before, I am just the book publicist, not the author. The author of both the actual novel and the blogs is Nona David. Thanks. Joan |
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Ifez
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Okay, thanks. We get the idea now. I wrongly thought you were the author but I know better now. I'm sure others do too. |
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Ifez
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I'll like to meet the author, please recommend me. Thanks! |
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Joan4427 (f)
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Oh, alright. Send me an e-mail.
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Joan4427 (f)
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Thanks Ifez. The FEDDIE GIRL fans on Facebook are growing steadily. Joan |
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Ifez
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We are still waiting for this book. When exactly can we expect to see copies?
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Joan4427 (f)
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We are still waiting for this book. When exactly can we expect to see copies?
Lol! Patience is a virtue. I just spoke with our procurement and marketing division. Advance copies of the novel should be available to the general public starting first week of July. Right now, we are catering to celebrities, blurbers, major reviewers, wholesalers, distributors. Don't worry 6 weeks will go by in a flash. Soon you will have your copy and be transported back to those glory days of boarding life. Lol! |
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beaubrains (f)
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Hey Joan,
Read everything on the blog, it was absolutely intriguing very entertaining , it's been a while since a Nigerian experience was written so fluidly!!
I have a couple of questions though, is this fiction and is the writer (Nona David) a Nigerian?
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Joan4427 (f)
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@Beaubrains, Thanks a lot for the kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And "yes" to both your questions. Nona David is also on Facebook if you wish to know more about her and her works. http://www.facebook.com/home.php? Alternatively, she can be reached at nona.david@yahoo.comJoan |
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Joan4427 (f)
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Unseal the lips, Lol! If you haven't reserved a copy of FEDDIE GIRL, there's still a chance to reserve advance copies coming this July. http://bernardbooks.com/form.html |
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Joan4427 (f)
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Novel coming to Bernard Books Publishing this July. The count down continues: 4 weeks to go! Copies available by reservation only! Reserve your copy today! http://bernardbooks.com/form.html |
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