The Dead Life

inspiration comes standard . . . read and tell me what you think. I'm open to constructive criticism.

Let me try to understand it: It is about religion, that religion has its fault.

One of them is the unchristian behaviour of exorcists (at least in the past, no idea how they work today) that would even “scare[--] a demon” (l. 2).

Another criticism that religion can only exist as long as there is evil in the world from which people seek rescue. Therefore, there is a “symmetry” (l. 3) between “darkness and light” (l. 3) which makes it impossible for them to exist without the other. Hence, in a world without evil, there was no need for religion and that is what the church is fearing.

Another one is indulgence, that you can sin as long as you can afford to pay the church for cleansing you afterwards. That’s why some “sinners [are left] unpunished” (l. 5). Some of them can afford it easily while others are left with out money and “famished” (l. 7). Hence, they suffer and might die but at least they got the “bright […] mask” (l. 8 ) of their religion to wear. Life in fact might be so horrible that they wished they’d already died and so that they “revere the dead (l. 9) who are already enjoying after-life in heaven. The church reminds the “living” (l. 11) of their sins all the time (“fed[s]” their sins to them, l. 11), making it impossible for the “living” to enjoy their life, hence they “live like there was no light” (l. 12).

But even death won’t bring them salvation and they will “die in darkness” (l. 12). Instead of waiting for the after-life, people should rather concentrate on their life now because “eternity is now” (l. 13, so it’s not the eternity in heaven promised to you by the church).

If God was really “love” and “mercy” (l. 15)  in person, s/he would not let us suffer and change the concept of  “eternity” and “death” (l. 16). However, if the “darkness” (l. 17) of fanatic religion (such as exorcism etc.) should return, there will be no hope/light (“white”, l. 18) left.

However, I have the feeling it is not only a criticism of religion but a contemplation about life itself. What will make life alive so that it will not be “dead life” (title)? What is the purpose of life?

Macalurs, any comments on my reading?

PS: I will see if I can get to the stylistic devices used later.

First thought: Bad rhyming!

Not as if it matters much though, but,  I like it well done if to be done at all.

Poor finnicky me.

gwatala,
I write what is revealed to me. . . not that it rhyme . . . but that it make sense.

But I commend your nose.

Great work,Macalurs. As a budding poet,you are one of my role models in this forum. please view my poems too and let me hear your comments;whether good or bad.