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Davidcares
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Guys once again I thank u all for all your contributions, suggestions, advices and comments. Ever since the day this happened she and I have been taking and she had been saying sorry n sorry n sorry and all dat. I knw that all the sorry can not reverse wat had happened. I have forgiven her but forgetting, am working on that. I have decided to give her a second chance I just hope I wont regret this. If we eventually get married I will let u guys know. Once again I thank u all. maybe am just loving with my heart and not my head as some of u guys said, I hope I wont regre this,
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
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Busy_body (f)
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Did she find out you cheated on her?
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Davidcares
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I told her, dats was two years ago
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Busy_body (f)
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I told her, dats was two years ago
I take back some of the harsh words I said against your girlfriend. What you wrote above is the reason she did what she did, because according to you, she was a very good girl who even stood by you when you had nothing. She did not do it on purpose and she definitely did not do it for money, but just found herself in it and got carried away with it, and this was because when you cheated on her, she was not able to get satisfactory answers from you to help her move on then. Knowing what betrayal feels like now, and acknowledging that this what your girlfriend felt like too when she also found out that you cheated on her, would help you both if you both decide to continue the relationship, and the realisation might actually bring you closer to each other more than you were before. Use this common ground to work on your relationship. You have to forgive her like she forgave you. |
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topup
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It's such a shame such a thing happened to you, that particular girl took your love for granted. She cheated on you, and it's not just the fact that she didn't tell you, because even if she told you, it wouldn't change a thing, whether she would not do it again, or whether she would.
I believe what the others have said is good, you should suspend the engagement, if she truly is sorry, she will be willing to do whatever it takes to make things right and would accept the suspension.
You need to suspend the formalities because she needs to know the consequences of her actions, without letting her know (putting her on guard) you should observe her.
I always advice people to love with all their heart, but not blindly, keep an eye out for any suspicious behaviour, and it probably won't be the same signs, she'll probably be a lot more secretive about it.
A typical person will try to make their lives transparent after such a thing, she should be updating you frequently, reassuring you that you that she's not with someone or cheating again by just calling you to let you know how she's doing during the day.
Nothing should be forced, because after all if she wants to leave, she'll do just that.
If you can forgive her that's a great start, you two still have a fighting chance, but the both of you will have to do just that. You will have to fight any insecurities or doubt in your head, and she will have to fight to prove to you that she's changed.
You can also pray to ask for wisdom to deal with this situation and any more that arise in future.
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sweetnekys
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Bros try to setttle with your lady and pray hard about it and follow the lord`s direction to avoid any mistake because this is onces in a life time
I wish you the best in life.
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Am Alone
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Once A Sheet Is Always A Sheet!!!
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Davidcares
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thank u all for all your advices
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ifihearam
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@David
No matter what we say here,as far as i am concerned you have made up your mind to forgive,accept and continue with the marraige formalities,all i can say here is that
ITS your CALL AND NOT OURS
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bluespice (f)
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oh well,
y'all have both cheated in your relationship and from what i can see, atleast both of y'all are truely sorry about it,
i suggest u try to move on and build commmunication more
when i say communication, i mean trust here
feel free to tell her how u feel, make her free enough to tell you exactly how she feels also
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topeorekoy (m)
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david,
if i must tell u something, she will definitely repeat it again. why would a lady go and sleep in another guy's place after just meeting him after 2 mths. i guess she saw something in the guy that she aint seeing in u. i call some1 like that, some1 thats not contented. the fact that switched off her fone, she just doesnt want u to disturb her so that the guy wont knw she has some1. i am very sure she told the guy she doesnt have any1. u knw the most irritating thing abt issues like ds, the guy might just not have any feelings for her. if i must just tell u, move on with your life. it might be very painful but that not the end of the world.
i knw u love her so much but dont let the love stop u from thinking right, just ease urself out of this situation. why was she now crying? didnt she knw what she was doing?
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Bossman (m)
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Are you guys reading the whole thread or just OP's original post. OP was asked if he has cheated on her, and he answered yes. So, why are some of you guys blaming the lady.
OP, as you already thought of doing, print out this whole thread and show it to her. Get together with her, may be go to a restaurant or so, and talk it over. You have both done wrong at some point in the relationship. So, it's up to you guys to decide if you want to stick it out.
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Busy_body (f)
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Are you guys reading the whole thread or just OP's original post. OP was asked if he has cheated on her, and he answered yes. So, why are some of you guys blaming the lady.
Well the OP was economising with the truth initially, and since a lot of posters on NL only read the OP's write-up without bothering to go throught the rest of the thread, that is why they want the girl to be burned at the stakes or skinned alive  |
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wavemasta (m)
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Before I type anything, I would like to say that personally, I believe in treating others as we would want to be treated. In our imperfect society however, things do not always pan out that way.
To the OP, it's going to be difficult to forget, and even to forgive. Very difficult. Thing is that (And I know some people are going to shout) for a woman to cheat on you, it runs deeper than just the desire to get laid. For us guys, its like an itch, you are in the situation, you get horny, you do, you zip up, you move on without any emotional attachment. For most women, theres got to be an emotional connection. In this case, the girl felt something for the other guy. She was pregnant for the OP for crying out loud. Fine, the OP had an indiscretion, he confessed, she wasn't planning on doing so. When a man's chick cheats on him, his masculinity, ego, and all, are shattered, especially as he feels like, 'whats the other dude providing that I can't?' and he probably knows there was some kinda 'connection' between the girl and the other person, unlike we guys that can do things without any hint of emotions with the other party involved. It still doesn't say its right for the guy to cheat, though, don't get me wrong, women too have emotions, so I advocate decency on both sides.
I personally do not condone cheating by any party. I don't believe in cheating, and I do not expect my woman to cheat. I am trying to explain why the OP would find it difficult to get over this, and also, the fact that he cheated before is no justification for what the woman did, two wrongs do not make a right. She was pregnant with his kid when she cheated, they were going to get married, he has every moral right to be pissed off,
I am not advocating that its ok for a man to cheat and not for a woman, I'm trying to let us understand, we live in an imperfect world, and two wrongs do not make a right, and whether you like it or not, a woman will mostly not cheat with a dude she has no emotional connection to, but as guys we can, but it doesn't make it right though.
Thats why its gonna be difficult for the OP to forget about this.
@OP, pray about it, if you know you cannot forget, please don't play God or superman, love yourself, and let go, jejely,
Regards
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soulamanne
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grow up fast,heal up fast, it s been said all u can NEVER trust her again.forgiven but forget thats hrd.delete her and learn your lessons.time will heal u
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edogram (m)
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Well, what edogram will say to this, mmmmmm.
That girl don’t truly love you, she likes you. defrend from like and love, she remove the belly 2 reason. this day if girl love u she will never remove the belly no body can stop her. for the fact this happen means things like this have been going on before. And can still repeat it self it’s just a matter of time.
It’s just like when u say “I have stop masturbation” this is had to follow.
Continue dating this girl, don’t love her again, try to be hating her when she is around u. before u know u will hate her fully.
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kalmebad (f)
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Taking a deep breath mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, haven gone through almost all d comments.
@poster
I am not advocating for the girl, but let him or her who has never cheated in his entire life cast the first stone her
I wont hold my brief for your girl, especially for the fact that she was carrying your own child while going to sleep with another guy. was totally unacceptable.
But with all said and done, , here she now ask for your forgivness, how sincerely remorseful is she?? (the big question)
The problem here is finding it in your heart to forgive and forget, how do u come to terms with this??
If you can truly find it in your heart to do so, then and only will u be able to accept her back. (so search your heart, can you?) and if u will hv reasons dwelling in it for the rest of your life, then it only means u can't move on as u will never have sanity of mind. The decision hence lies with you.
I can't tell you to kick her away if truly she is sorry and has turn to a new leave (not fallacy)
Do we because our wife or husband cheat and we divorce them??? Some pple here, if found in this same situation won't do more.
Let your love for her and her's also in return stand the True Test of Time. True love forgives all things.( on a serious note)
So dear,, let the choice be your's, let your heart guide u
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Uyi Iredia (m)
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, and i can't tell anybody not even my best friends @@ Davidcares >>>>can't tell your best friends!!!  wonda if they're friends at all  at least the type 1 can count on
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shanda (m)
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I'll advice u leave the bitch. Do u know that she would have continued if u guys had married without u finding out earlier. Let me be frank with you, a leopard can never change its spot. You are just lucky to have found that out, do u know the other ones still hidden from you. Such lady can never be trusted. Y waste your time in a rtelationship where there's no trust. You'll always remember that I adviced you to leave her. That's the best decision u can take. The best advice I'll give you is this, don't ever get emotionally involved with a lady.
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PERO79 (m)
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REALLY SORRY 4 your EXPERIENCE BUT THE TRUTH REMAINS THAT
THE ISSUE OF TRUST 4 NOW BECOMES CONFLICTING,
TAKE HEART.
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lechatte (f)
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I'll advice u leave the bitch. Do u know that she would have continued if u guys had married without u finding out earlier. Let me be frank with you, a leopard can never change its spot. You are just lucky to have found that out, do u know the other ones still hidden from you. Such lady can never be trusted. Y waste your time in a rtelationship where there's no trust. You'll always remember that I adviced you to leave her. That's the best decision u can take. The best advice I'll give you is this, don't ever get emotionally involved with a lady.
Shaaaraap dia!! Did you read that OP also cheated in time past(post #39), why didn't you cuss him out? His girlfriend has fallen the way OP fell and you are calling her a bitch. If we are to go by your logic, it also means that OP will also cheat again in future since a leopard can never change its spot.  Hissssssssssss |
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acidrop (f)
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@poster, u said u love her so much that u wanted to marry her, then how come u were trying to abort the baby i mean your baby, obviously u havent found out about her cheating b4 u decided tp abort the baby. . . . . .well there are 2 sides to a story and i dont normally comment to a story like this unless i hear the other side. . . . .but if u love her n still want her go get her
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Am Alone
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@poster, u said u love her so much that u wanted to marry her, then how come u were trying to abort the baby i mean your baby, obviously u havent found out about her cheating b4 u decided tp abort the baby. . . . . .well there are 2 sides to a story and i dont normally comment to a story like this unless i hear the other side. . . . .but if u love her n still want her go get her
Go And Read The Story Again. . . He said her mother wont aprove it b'cos she is pregnant! |
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Davidcares
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@poster, u said u love her so much that u wanted to marry her, then how come u were trying to abort the baby i mean your baby, obviously u havent found out about her cheating b4 u decided tp abort the baby. . . . . .well there are 2 sides to a story and i dont normally comment to a story like this unless i hear the other side. . . . .but if u love her n still want her go get her
Like I sed be4 her mother wont approve of that before we get marry. |
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chaircover (f)
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This has been said over and over again. Generally speaking women do not just cheat just for the fun of it. There is something wrong with the relationship certainly from her point of view (maybe not yours) and as such decided that she wanted to try something else.
She could have been bored, wanted some excitement, wasn’t sure if she deeply loved you or not etc
She cheated and got caught. Only this girl and God know if this has happened before; she sure won’t tell you even if it has.
The poster cheated 2 years ago but they both chose to forgive & forget so that is not enough reason for her to go and do the same thing 2 years later.
I am an advocate of marriage with eyes wide open so as to minimise problems later on down the line
Only and I repeat only marry for love, trust and respect on both sides.
The trust issue has been breached so the marriage will start with a blip. If trust is lacking in a relationship then the relationship goes no where and will be full of accusations, jealously and arguments.
Can also point out that morally It is not the done thing to sleep with other men while pregnant with another mans child.
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REAL TRUTH
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This has been said over and over again. Generally speaking women do not just cheat just for the fun of it. There is something wrong with the relationship certainly from her point of view (maybe not yours) and as such decided that she wanted to try something else.
She could have been bored, wanted some excitement, wasn’t sure if she deeply loved you or not etc
She cheated and got caught. Only this girl and God know if this has happened before; she sure won’t tell you even if it has.
The poster cheated 2 years ago but they both chose to forgive & forget so that is not enough reason for her to go and do the same thing 2 years later.
I am an advocate of marriage with eyes wide open so as to minimise problems later on down the line
Only and I repeat only marry for love, trust and respect on both sides.
The trust issue has been breached so the marriage will start with a blip. If trust is lacking in a relationship then the relationship goes no where and will be full of accusations, jealously and arguments.
Can also point out that morally It is not the done thing to sleep with other men while pregnant with another mans child.
Just wanted to add to the above,,In a relationship like this and others,,the first thing to do is to use your HEAD,,Listen to what your HEAD is telling you,,,secondly,,No man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or any woman,,,My advice is this: You guys should end the relationship,,you both should agrre never to tell anybody what transpired,,If you quit this relationship, you would very likely find someone that is better than her,,,also,if she quits this relationship,,she also would likely find someone better than you are,,,I hate when people use the word LOVE without using there HEAD,,,Every functional LOVE or Relationship exist because the parties involved there BRAINS and HEAD,,,,gOOD LUCK MAN!! |
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whitechriz (m)
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.HELLO, GUY .
To me am happy this happened to you now not when you are married and you are a nice guy to come ut straight you know , Go ahead and marry her put that behind yourselves and build a new dreams , And the most important of all ALWAYS PRAY TO GOD.
BEST OF LUCK
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onyeben
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Never make a hoe a housewife! U'll end up regretting it for the rest of your life
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mmaks
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@ topic
a very big eeeyaaahh
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