No Sex Tonight

This was forwarded to my email - not sure if it should be on the jokes board but i think it's worth a discussion

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'D just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like
she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am
and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

This is a lovely joke.

lol! that is good one!!! seriouzly sum women can bankrupt a guy if he's not careful!!

thats cool jo. love that................lol

this is a cool joke,well i like the guy.He's such a wise one that knows how to deal with ladies.....

funny
but really guys, why can't u just hold your babe even when u feel like going all the way?
a girl just needs to be held and cuddled sometimes.

This is a very nice one     

Wow! omo the guy harsh o!  but i really think that guys should know that there are times when ladies just want to be held

Awesome!!! Thats what I call it, Its very wonderful. Well, it reminds me about what I did to a girl last night.

2 weeks ago, i called her and she said she needs to buy some things. i sent the money to her through her account with UBA. She called me last week that she wanted to buy some other thing and I told her that i didnt have money since i wasnt paid yet for the job i did for a multinational company. She simply hung up the phone. I called her back and she gave her mobile phone to her friend who told she wasnt around while I could hear her voice in the background telling her friend what to tell me. Well, 2 days ago she found out that i was paid the money by the company because her friend works at the company.  She called my mobile phone last night but she hid her own number i.e. it was showing a private number on my phone, so i didnt know who was calling. I answered the phone and I said "hello" , she then said "sweetheart...", recognizing her voice, i didnt let her finish saying seetheart before I said "YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICE MAIL OF 08028832212, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER, AND I WILL GET BACK TO YOU IF I CAN" then i hung up immediately. .     

nigerians at work!!!!!!!!  paypal that is funny and even though i wouldn't do it that way.  some sisters behave like your mum raised up a fool or you were born yesterday.  good on u brother

i don't know why money makes people behave weirdly.

God help us 

very funny!

@paypalgod, good one!

ahahahahhaha...no sex tonight sounds like a song

That's right...

Men it was very funny
OUTSTANDING

Playpal, you are wicked! But serves her right tho! 

thats a good joke,you can't give him sumthin,He can't give u sumthin 2