How Can I Stop Choosing The Wrong Men

@Kaypinchi,
u must be a guru. i met a gal who had abt 5 ear rings on each of her ears. she must be a charlygirl and if anyone outside the charlyboys family comes to her, she must not expect much.


@poster,
pls dress as you wld want to be addressed. u must start this journey with telling urself the bitter truths. criticize urself on areas u know u slack. something in u is chasing gud guys away and attracting bad guys to u.
in most cases, they come with sweet songs promising to make water available in deserts because they believe that is what u want to hear.
be informed that even the insane men go sane when they meet the right gal. in a normal situation, every man is a radical but the presence of a woman makes the difference. you can carry urself in such a manner that your man will not like to offend u for no just course.
men of these days are terrible but women,  so i wish u luck as long as you are ready to tell urself the truth.

I have no  real idea how to help you. but from what I have heard people say. Stop looking and the right one will come to you. thats how I married my husband. I just stopped thinking of going to church to find a man. I stopped using force to step outside the house and go to parties in hopes of finding one. I became myself and I dont like going to parties. My husband was brought to me. My car broke down in the middle of a town I did not even know and he helped me.

The church we married in is even adjacent to the place we first met. Stop looking. and also I heard somewhere that if you find yourself always complaining that everyone around you is a jerk, maybe you need to look in the mirror and you will see the real jerk. but I am not calling you any names because the guys you have described are every woman's nightmare.

But nkan ti mo fe ki o fa yo ni be ni wipe,,  change your lifestyle. stop going to the same places you used to. go to a different market to buy your eggs. etc your man may come.

.

SEXY logan,

that is the worse advice you can give anyone. to always look out for flaws, like you dont have any. why dont you whip out the lie detector while you are at it? it will help to save a lot of time.

Have you heard the saying "wa pe nibe" it means you will be waiting a while. You get to know people through courtship. their flaws will reveal themselves eventually. I have flaws,but my husband still loves me. He has flaws too and I still love him. I saw his flaws before I married him and loved  him inspite of them.

Yes one needs to be careful, but Mother Theresa is dead and Jesus is not trying to physically marry any woman right now, so we all imperfect.

If you are a true believer of Jesus Christ and you know the truth. Do what the Word says. Pray to God to give you the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. You are Bless that you have not made the decision between those two guys. If you do not know Jesus Christ yet, then give your life to Him and Cast your yoke upon Him. You have to ask Him with your mouth what you want, but for you to be able to ask Him, you have to know Him as your Lord and Saviour. May the Spirit of Truth shine light on you . Amen

@Ezinne 1212

Be open and honest, no need to hide things as simple as email address. The world isn`t just about us, think of others. Me me attitude can scare off potential partners. your nairaland profile speaks volumes. I like your name, what does it mean and in which language?

I believe to get the right man,you have to be the right woman. Search  and better yourself and I assure you that you will attract the right kind of men to yourself. And don't forget that you need prayers too.

Good things come to good people, hope you can figure out the rest yourself

stop looking at they pockets, shikena!!

Thanks for all your feedback. This is a forum, it's the beauty of the internet. I'm amused that some guys think cash is involved, really! if i were looking for someone with dough, would it have been those two? Please don't let your insecurity answer for you, God knows I've been doing it for too long, else i wouldn't have given those losers the time of day.

@ Redfox, i believe I've stated my flaws, i neva said i was a saint, my description of those guys was to show that i wasn't looking for anything in particular but in effect there ended up being a pattern. I wont reduce myself to choosing based on cash, but i wont let my standards down again, everyone is entitled to their own. I thought being God fearing that it was necessary to keep an open mind. What i expected from each of them was honesty, but what i saw was conniving deceit, it was quite scary. It will amaze you how some  guys will act out the role of good guy if they feel it would pull in an unsuspecting victim, for the life of me i cant understand what drives someone to be so mean. All said and done, i'm still learning but not searching, there's much more to life right now than relationships with men. We're all equal, but some people give human nature a bad name! So i'm working on being the right me, cause i do believe good things will eventually happen to good people. So far, life  has been fair, i have faith.

Its ok gal, I believe you know what you want and you can tell when you've found it. Just be patient and the best will come your way.

My Dear Sister Look Before You Leap. Stop chasing Money or Luxury, try to be diligent in your dealings and your Right Man will sure come your way.

THis the key;

Look for a man that has a stable style of doing things.

AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS, ITS THE ONLY FILTER I KNOW OF.

NO STYLE = NO CLASS = NO STABILITY = ANYTHING (I MEAN ANYTHING) CAN HAPPEN

Once you see a stable man with style, check the way he does things and the things he does and see if it makes you think of who you are and what you have to offer in love and life (and a future); IF makes you feel that way then he is your mark, if not - BOUNCE.

No man changes - only growth happens, look well, if he is an idiot today, he will be worse tomorrow. If he tells you he was a "redeem" and now is "deeper life"; then tomorrow he will take you and your kids to a shrine to "swear".

Always remember, look for a style (NO STYLE - RUN AWAY!!), if he has, then check them and yourself, IF you can picture, GO AHEAD, IF you cant, BOUNCE NICELY.

AND YOU YOURSELF BETTER BE WORTH IT!!

Start looking in the right places.
Abandon the night clubs, beer parlours, et al

na wa o,may be yu need to go see some spiritualist for check up.

Relationship is a matter of good feasibility study. If you study a person very well befor entering into a relationship with such you will definitely have a little regret