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decency (f)
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If your spouse is not sexually active or romantic, how do you cope?
If you find out that your spouse is very bad in bedmatics, what do you do? Because ije my girl friend just found out after they got married. I am a lady please.
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layi (m)
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Anyway just teach him the bedmatics you know?
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owo (m)
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Nobody is too old to learn, nobody is too wise to be taught.
How did she (your girl friend) know the things to do in bed? - she learnt!!!
With patience and some care, she can teach the guy what to do and how to get things going. She must be lucky to have a virgin mind which she can mould into what she has always wanted in bed.
No need to sermonize. When a woman really wants to make you to please her in bed or teach you what you need to do, there is almost no way of escape for the man.
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osofuye (m)
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men its bad!!!!
i just encounter one some month ago. don't be surprise i only had sex onces! men its hell becourse i couldnt just cope. the relationship just got broken like that. i even try to plead but she wouldnt listen.
come to talk of this campaign about sex it just dosnt go well me.
anyway i blamed my dad for that! kept indoor for more than 21 years
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Bibi (m)
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what happens to the vow? - for better for worse. She should stay in there and work it out.
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Jio (m)
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Pre-marital sex would have saved your friend from this stress. All those saying teach him, it's like you guys have forgotten that somethings are best learnt during the teenage years.
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nferyn (m)
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Communication is key. Both partners should be able to openly talk about their wishes, be open for them and express what they're feeling.
And learn some things about sexual anatomy as well. Do not get your education from a porn movie, that's more like sexual Olympic gymnastics than anything else.
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Seun (m)
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Jio, I'd think I'd rather be thought by my wife, who loves me, than some random girl I pick on the street.
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nferyn (m)
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Jio, I'd think I'd rather be thought by my wife, who loves me, than some random girl I pick on the street.
Seun, you're putting in a false dichotomy here. there's not just either going with your wife or going with some girl you pick on the street. There can be meaningful relationships outside of marriage as well. |
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tunku (m)
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just get the husband some hoodrats and let him work out his bedmatics problem with them, then comeback to his wife and show her what his learned. He may even have a few surprises for her. Hopefully no body parts will fall off.
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Seun (m)
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Why should I want some strange girl to teach me how to please a woman rather than my wife, who is the only woman I care about pleasing?
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jenny247 (f)
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Why should I want some strange girl to teach me how to please a woman rather than my wife, who is the only woman I care about pleasing?
Nice one Seun, i like that. |
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Bibi (m)
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Its pure hypocrisy to expect that your eventual spouse will be your "bedmatics tutour". You will surely discover something was missing. Anyway, one person at least surely brings the experience along. If you believe that you will keep yourself for your married woman, perhaps your wife will bring the experience along and teach you. The only problem is the aroused curiousity (typical man) where the experience comes from, you feel cheated because you didnt acquire it upfront and you now wonder if you spouse has had it a lot better before meeting you.  |
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Seun (m)
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And that, in turn is why I want my wife to also be a novice/virgin. So I get to be the one to teach her what I like, too!
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slary (m)
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Please i will advise the couple to go for more counselling.
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ldollier (f)
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this is a tough one... hmmm get back wit me on that...
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decency (f)
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thanx guys for those wonderful replies, i think its better the wife teaches the husband the one she know ,if the husband is not bull headed he will surely learn what the wife know and together they grow in acquiring more skills in their lovemaking and foreplay .i don but the idea of the man going outside to look for an amatuer, it may cause serious problems in the marriage .
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Ediyna (m)
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 Two heads are better than one. Let the woman do the teaching and man patiently learn fast. Man don't worry just cool, the woman go say your own too much very soon.
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chum (m)
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 decency You've happily said thanx guys, cause that's what you want to hear, " Let the wife teach the husband "hope you know that some women cannot be satisfied no matter what the man dose, plz, also advice your friend to adjust to the straight and style of the husband. I pray it dose cause family problem.
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sexyb_2_19
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it's better for the man to let his wife teach him how to please her instead of getting some random girl to teach him how to please his wife.
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Bibi (m)
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so, the woman comes with some experience |
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Seun (m)
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Every woman comes with some experience about how to, um, please herself. If she's enjoying a certain 'move' she can tell you, and if she's not enjoying it she can also tell you and you keep trying different 'moves' till you have a library of 'moves' that are mutually pleasurable. Same goes for the man.
There are also lots of books from which one can acquire additional information, without running the risks of STD, unwanted pregnancy and broken marriage.
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CimonJorr (m)
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If I've said it a million times, I'll still go and say it again.. BOOKS can not teach u everything... snip... There are also lots of books from which one can acquire additional information... snip.. And also, where are these "risks of STD, unwanted pregnancy..." supposed to come from?? .... without running the risks of STD, unwanted pregnancy and broken marriage.... Not all sex is indiscriminate sex...  |
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IAH (f)
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Why are you all talking as if virgins are some dummies who would just lay still in bed?
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Seun (m)
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IAH: thank you my sister! These people are just looking for reasons to justify premarital sex. Whatever I cannot learn from a book, I can learn from my wife. The lady whose husband is sexually inexperienced just needs to show her husbands which buttons to press. That's all!
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nferyn (m)
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IAH: thank you my sister! These people are just looking for reasons to justify premarital sex. Whatever I cannot learn from a book, I can learn from my wife. The lady whose husband is sexually inexperienced just needs to show her husbands which buttons to press. That's all!
Let's try another analogy: Take a surgeon. Learned everything from a book. Has practiced operating only on one body, no more. Would you trust your life in the hands of that surgeon or would you rather have someone with a little more experience? between, you're still reasoning under the assumption that premarital sex needs any justification. There's nothing wrong with it. |
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Seun (m)
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Nferyn, nobody is going to send a medical doctor to seven years of school and thousands of hours in training only to restrict him to just one surgery. Your analogy does not apply. Why do I need to be trained by 10 women of different shapes, sizes and preferences when I have a lifetime to spend with my one wife? Even if it takes my wife 5 years to teach me properly, that still leaves several decades of being able to have sex with her. This is like sponsoring a woman to get the highest level of education and then asking her to sit in the kitchen for a lifetime. I am not going to discuss this issue any further.  |
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nferyn (m)
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Hi Seun,
My analogy is about the training, not the actual surgery.
Look, obviously you are entitled to your opinion about virginity and pre marital sex. The only thing I'm trying to explain is that there is no implicit moral value to virginity or abstinence.
As I said before, pre marital sex does not need any justification. There's nothing wrong with it.
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goodguy (m)
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Adam and Eve were virgins. They simply figured it themselves.  People, please stop trying to justify the act of premarital sex. What is wrong is wrong and there should be no excuses. Funny enough, one major excuse that so many of you give is: For sexual experience and compatibilty with your future partner. This is just too lame. If the husband is not competent enough, with time he'll learn. Even if the wife refuses to teach him, when the urge and zeal and drive is there, he'll definitely be competent. @nferyn, can u please tell me what makes Premarital sex right? |
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nferyn (m)
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[SNIP]
@nferyn, can u please tell me what makes Premarital sex right?
It provides pleasure, it releases tensions, it's good prevention against prostate cancer (for the men), ... The question is: what on earth, except for an arbitrary moral code could make it wrong? |
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IAH (f)
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The question is: what on earth, except for an arbitrary moral code could make it wrong?
For a lady... Unwanted Pregnancy. Possibility of being used by too many men. |
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nferyn (m)
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For a lady...
Unwanted Pregnancy.
You have birth control measures to counter this problem Possibility of being used by too many men.
What do you mean by this? |
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