Are My Feelings Real?

I broke up with my boyfriend (of 1year) in november 2008 and in april 2009 i started seeing someone else. now my ex is back & wants me back in his life. the feelings for my ex are deeper than that for the new guy, but i dont wanna break the new guy's heart,  & i feel he may be better for me.

what should i do, pls advice!!  Is 'feelings' the main thing??   

No feelings are not the only things- especially if you at the age where you are consideringa  more long term r/ship with a possibility of settling down - feelings are as impotant as compatitbility.

why did you start seeing someone else without giving yourself time to recover and get over yoru ex? like you would only have to deal with the issue of takinghim back - and not the double wahala of hurting someone else!!

how open are you with your bf? - i say talk to him - it s a young r/ship so best sort out the issue of your ex now, before it gets deepr with time.
take time away form both of them and think about it - think about who treats you better, who fits in to your life more, who is ablet to love you the way you will love them and want to be loved, who you can build a life with - and i am sure if you are honest with yourself you will haave the answer sooner than you think

but be honesty with all parties - especially YOURSELF

i think u will have to make do with luxoire's suggestion.

Talk to both of them, balance them, compare and contrast them, then choose one.

We argued (quarelled) a lot abt everything, the truth is, he was my first very serious rship that cud lead to marriage and i wasnt handling it very well (am 25). Secondly, i think he was controlling and manipulative, and that was wat kept us going instead of the natural trust that should exist.
it was six months already, & i thought i had recovered, at least i did until he started coming back. Funny, thing is that they both treat me well, but the problem (i think) is that i am used to (familiar with) my ex's and all his wahala, & i am scared of knowing someone new (and his wahala) and also, my ex lives closer, so he uses proximity to his advantage and comes to my house after work everyday, i see the new guy only on sundays.
How can i get over this fear?? Is this love or just 'sentiments'??

Do u think hes changed completely over a one year period??

Do u think his controlling and manipulative ways are healthy for u??

And lastly does your new guy treat u wid respect and dignity??

The need to make such excuses keep coming back, and i think about him inspite of miself,  guess i'll work at that.

Love basically is about choice! You've gotta learn how to trust your instincts and still work with your head (reason reasonallably), because my dear, you can actually fall in love with 200 men. It is perfectly normal!

So, here is my advice. Keep away from these two guys for some time and find a quiet time with yourself to answer serious personal questions. Be sincere to yourself.

1. Does he have a good standing with God? (I didn't say, "Is he a christian?" coz these days, anyone can be.) Is he concerned about the spiritual growth of you both and is he trying to develop?

2. Does he look marriageable a year to 2 years from now? Can I wait for him?

3. Do I really love him?

3. Does he really love me?

So, go ahead girl. It could be tough, but it's gonna be worth it. Trust me!