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Psalty (f)
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@OP Trust me, its not fun. My coz who's a nurse recently resigned to become a housewife so as take care of de kidz', and yeah, true to the meaning of 'housewife', he doesnt let her go anywhere, she simply sits and stares out the window until another 'housewife' duty calls, hmmm. Honestly, me being a 'house-sister' has also not been funny, i cant wAit to get a job fast!!! Anywaiz, thanks to NL   |
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apol
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its nt realy rit dropin your cert to becomin a house wife
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Beaf
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"nothing is broken down about uk societies either" - oyinda Eh!? When babies are being born with knives in their hands like zorro  |
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Nezan (m)
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I have nothing against being a housewife but I can not see myself in that position. I am too Ambitious and Independent. I like the idea of going out there and making my own money. I think a husband will better respect a wife that makes her own money than a woman that relies on him for everything. I do not care If I marry a billionaire, I will never be a housewife. I will be out there doing what "real women" do.
Excuse me, baby.U wanna want to do ,what real woman wanna do.Check well well, what real woman is really doin, then talk your words.
If u r so much Ambitious, then y u getting married.Stay single n carry your wahala go, till thy kingdom come.
I think 'real women' should save themselves the trouble of marriage. Going into marriage with this mindset is bad. Situations may arise when you will have to work to make your marriage work, as well as relinquish your work to make your marriage work. Emphasis in any happy marriage is on 'making the marriage work' than on the individuals involved. |
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OMO IBO (m)
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it is mostly the unmarried, single and young ones who come out barking and screaming 'real woman/women' and how they won't stay home.
nothing wrong with that.
having a pre-determined mindset especially in marriage/family home is definitely not the way to go.
i am not married and wont be for a couple of years but it does not take rocket science to understand that.
These women NEED TO STOP LISTENING TO OPRAH
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JJYOU
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I think 'real women' should save themselves the trouble of marriage. Going into marriage with this mindset is bad. Situations may arise when you will have to work to make your marriage work, as well as relinquish your work to make your marriage work. Emphasis in any happy marriage is on 'making the marriage work' than on the individuals involved.
you are very correct. there is a topic with similiar title here from i think last year and listening to our people ( sadly mostly women ) you get the impression that all that matters in life is money and nothing more. i came out of that thread with the impression of most nigerian marriages are as good as marraige of convinience. the idea of a happy healthy home is allien to us as a people. you can easily see why a generation educated by mostly uneducated society is busy creating the next set of unfulfilled illeterates. as usual money answereth all things for the nigerian mind. it is mostly the unmarried, single and young ones who come out barking and screaming 'real woman/women' and how they won't stay home.
nothing wrong with that.
having a pre-determined mindset especially in marriage/family home is definitely not the way to go.
i am not married and wont be for a couple of years but it does not take rocket science to understand that.
These women NEED TO STOP LISTENING TO OPRAH
you wish sister O was their problem |
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Gentlelady (f)
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I can't be a full time housewife! I have seen what some widows/divorcees in Naija pass through. The woman becomes the sole breadwinner, it is not fun starting a career or business when one is advanced in age and without a partner to support you. One does not pray for evil things to happen but we must be prepared for it when it come. Money does answereth all things! It pays the bills and keep the kids happy! These days in Nigeria the wife has to support the husband to meet up and of course she has to have something doing incase things go wrong.  |
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JJYOU
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I can't be a full time housewife! I have seen what some widows/divorcees in Naija pass through. The woman becomes the sole breadwinner, it is not fun starting a career or business when one is advanced in age and without a partner to support you. One does not pray for evil things to happen but we must be prepared for it when it come. Money does answereth all things! It pays the bills and keep the kids happy! These days in Nigeria the wife has to support the husband to meet up and of course she has to have something doing incase things go wrong. plan well becos what we plan for does almost always happen. fera certainly has torment. |
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gen2genius (m)
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Frankly, even if I became the richest man in the world, my wife would still use her degree to have a meaningful contribution to the society. What's all the fuss about a woman staying at home for the rest of her life, burying her talents, certificates etc because she wants to have a happy home? Sonya Carson (mother of Ben and Curtis Carson) was a single mother who worked tirelessly to feed and educate her children. Yet she still had ample time to bring them up to become responsible men. There are several other women like that. You don't have to stay at home all-day long to have good children. You can have a successful career and a successful marriage. It's a matter of being resourceful and being able to set your priorities right.
Which of the men advocating "full-time housewife" role would be happy to send their daughters to school up to Masters level only for her to bury everything in the name of marriage and family life? Can any of these men agree to be full-time househusbands? Was a woman created JUST to bear and rear children, cook and clean a house? If yes, why didn't God just give them mothering abilities without any other skills? Why are women created with the same mental abilities as men? And why do we even have to send our girls to general schools? I mean we could just create a School of Mothering and Family Life and send all our girls there instead of spending so much money to train them to study a course like Mass Communication only to end up communicating nothing except lullabies and kitchen songs!
A woman could stay at home with her kids in their formative years, but anything after that, count me out!!!
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JeSoul (f)
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hmmm . . . I can certainly appreciate the very different dynamics of being a housewife in Nigeria vs in the West, they are two very different scenarios and I certainly empathize with those in Naija who say you must have a back-up plan, I don't blame una jare. But at the end of the day it really comes down to the kind of man you chose to marry.
Well as for me I can and am going to be a housewife for a short time . . . for one major reason - to raise my future children myself. I will be at home until they are old enough and I'm confident enough in the job I have done. I will not leave their fate to the hands of daycares and morally and academically deficient schools - they will be my #1 job, along with my future husband.
To my fellow sisters, there is nuthin demeaning or reducing in staying home to raise & take care of your family for a while - infact I see it as the hardest job and the most noble a woman can do. Of what use is it if I succeed in a career but lose my household? It is extremely hard to be successful at both - you must pick one for a season to focus on, and you can always do some kind of part-time gig if you have a lotta time of your hands. This is not to say you won't have dreams and other goals - those can come before or after the children are grown.
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boy1 (m)
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labba labba! bla bla! too much talk
i want a woman that stays at home
she may get a part time job in future,if d need arise.
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brein
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i no be gurl, * |
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darmilorla (f)
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NO, i cant b an housewife, doing nothing, just seating at home, ko jor, am a very ambitious lady, who has got dreams any guy who tells mi 2 seat at home is just decieveing him self, although family comes first but at the same time a responsible woman will knw ow to take care of the family and work at the same time, the only time i can see my self stoping work is when my kids are still below age 4 because that is when kids really need their mothers most, after that struggle continues,  |
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zaliya
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NEVER AGAIN!!!
I got married soon after NYSC and was 'automatically' made a HOUSE WIFE for close to 5 years due to child bearing. This period was not it at all.
I had to take a post-graduate course (with the support of my husband) in order for my mind to stay alive.
Guess what? I've resigned from being a HOUSE WIFEY to a HOME MAKER .I now have a job, a career, and I still do take care of my home.
I feel the word 'HOUSEWIFE' is just a euphemism for 'HOUSEHELP'.
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JJYOU
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hmmm . . . I can certainly appreciate the very different dynamics of being a housewife in Nigeria vs in the West, they are two very different scenarios and I certainly empathize with those in Naija who say you must have a back-up plan, I don't blame una jare. But at the end of the day it really comes down to the kind of man you chose to marry.
Well as for me I can and am going to be a housewife for a short time . . . for one major reason - to raise my future children myself. I will be at home until they are old enough and I'm confident enough in the job I have done. I will not leave their fate to the hands of daycares and morally and academically deficient schools - they will be my #1 job, along with my future husband.
To my fellow sisters, there is nuthin demeaning or reducing in staying home to raise & take care of your family for a while - infact I see it as the hardest job and the most noble a woman can do. Of what use is it if I succeed in a career but lose my household? It is extremely hard to be successful at both - you must pick one for a season to focus on, and you can always do some kind of part-time gig if you have a lotta time of your hands. This is not to say you won't have dreams and other goals - those can come before or after the children are grown.
jesoul, plenty plenty thanks. is that you on the youtube video? |
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mystikal (m)
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If my wife decides 2 be a housewife, I wouldnt love her any less! and wont even try 2 play god. Being a Housewife has its loads of benefits
having said that, I will prefer a woman with a career. its fun when u and your wife can exchange ideas and talk about work issues on d same level. Taking care of the kids would be our joint responsibility. Both my Parents were working, and i didnt exactly turn out 2 be an "Hitler"
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Fhemmmy
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Although, i am man, and hope y'all dont mind me contributing my own one cent.
Being a housewife could be a very tough job, i remember my Mother.
Cos you have to take care of the home, manage the home, cook and make sure everyone is doing great.
A housewife should be termed, the "home Manager' cos that is what it is, and i think it is a full time job, cos being a house wife, means, the kids expects, so is the husband, and most times, the wife always have her own needs last.
So there is a need to have more respect for the "Home Managers" and pay them well too.
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ifedy (f)
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With all these years I am spending in school and my with my profession just 4 a man to tell me to be an housewife chei I go cry!!!
But if my job stands in the way of raising my kids in the way I want them to be then I will av to quit the job, but that is after all other options has failed.
I need to put all that in prayers from now. I no wan marry man that will tell me to give up my career and I dont want what will make me give up my career in Jesus name. AMEN!!!
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Fhemmmy
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With all these years I am spending in school and my with my profession just 4 a man to tell me to be an housewife chei I go cry!!!
But if my job stands in the way of raising my kids in the way I want them to be then I will av to quit the job, but that is after all other options has failed.
I need to put all that in prayers from now. I no wan marry man that will tell me to give up my career and I dont want what will make me give up my career in Jesus name. AMEN!!!
If you are studying Biz Management, that will still work too now. You will be the home management. If you studying Financing, you can manage the finance of the home. So you still in the range of good things |
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Fhemmmy
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Law, you will advocate for your kids when they bad to Daddy.
Engineering, you will take care of all engines in the house.
Medicine, you will make sure Daddy and the kids are well taken care of, take good medication when they need to and all that.
Chikena.
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JeSoul (f)
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jesoul, plenty plenty thanks. is that you on the youtube video?
yes sir, it is I Law, you will advocate for your kids when they bad to Daddy.
Engineering, you will take care of all engines in the house.
Medicine, you will make sure Daddy and the kids are well taken care of, take good medication when they need to and all that.
Chikena.
Lol |
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FerrariGP
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@ jesoul and fhemmy u guys have said it all,
To all the young single ladies screaming careers and jobs now on this forume, when your boobs start to sag u will be singing a different tune,
I wonder the kind of careers we have in naija thats making most em scream, bank marketing or wat,
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kok (m)
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does working makes you a "real woman"? Our grand mothers were real women yet they were house wives. No doubt they worked, either going to the farm or selling petty stuffs but they were always there to keep up the home. If you ladies are saying you have to work because you have a career or you dont want to rely fully on your husband, I wonder the kind of jobs we have these day if it will allow you the time to keep your home, probably you will get a house girl who will take your position. abi!
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Nwaka77 (f)
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No, I cannot be a housewife. I take a break from work when the kids are infants and toddlers but after that, its back to work. I am the daughter of 2 career minded parents. Myself and my siblings all turned out to be well educated, career minded, responsible members of society with our own families. I do not believe that my goal in life is just to pop babies out and rear them and that is it. My parents did not bring me up that way (thank godness!). My dad supported my mom in her chosen career field and my mom did the same to him. Both my parents put their heads together to raise us and today, we the children (all adults) have made them very proud. All that money they paid to send us to school all the way up to graduate level did not go to waste. Thank God my parents do not have that backward mentality I see being displayed here and I am glad I ended up with a hubby (very supportive) who does not have this type of mindset I am seeing here on this forum.
Let every couple decide what is best for them. What works for one couple might now work for the other. There is no "one glove fits all approach" when it comes to this topic. Do you and leave others to live their lives accordingly! Do not dictate other people's lives!
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kok (m)
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I take a break from work when the kids are infants and toddlers but after that, its back to work. [/b]
That very possible if you are working as an entrepreneur or in conducive society where every individuals condition is considered, but not in the present day nigeria where your employer expect you to be at work by 8:30am (at most) and you leave your home as early as 5:30am to beat the ever tense traffic, then you leave the office by 4:30pm and end up in the traffic again only to get back home by 9:00pm. what time would you have to keep the home??? Though I dont anticipate to have a house wife but she must be in-charge of her time. |
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Fhemmmy
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That very possible if you are working as an entrepreneur or in conducive society where every individuals condition is considered, but not in the present day nigeria where your employer expect you to be at work by 8:30am (at most) and you leave your home as early as 5:30am to beat the ever tense traffic, then you leave the office by 4:30pm and end up in the traffic again only to get back home by 9:00pm. what time would you have to keep the home???
Though I dont anticipate to have a house wife but she must be in-charge of her time.
hahahahaha pray she is not a marketer with a bank |
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tolutara (f)
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I think where most of us are missing the point is the notion of "I am Making My Own Money". It doesn't matter who works or not, the money belongs to the household (It is our money) both husband and wife have equal rights to this funds according to the structure, purpose and goal of the family.
The real issue is not who works or stays at home. It is a mindset issue that need to be corrected during courtship and it is also respect issue. If both realize they are working towards the same goal(which is whats best for our family) issues like this will not matter.
The only exception to this rule is if one of the spouse is not very management conscious of the family funds. Then some restriction can be placed to help the santity of the household.
Well my household works according to this structure and we have never had money fights. Cause the boundaries are very clear.
my 2 cents.
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boy1 (m)
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@ jesoul and fhemmy u guys have said it all,
To all the young single ladies screaming careers and jobs now on this forume, when your boobs start to sag u will be singing a different tune,
I wonder the kind of careers we have in naija thats making most em scream, bank marketing or wat,
no mind dem, there r millions of single women wasting all over d world all in d name of career. |
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Fhemmmy
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I think where most of us are missing the point is the notion of "I am Making My Own Money". It doesn't matter who works or not, the money belongs to the household (It is our money) both husband and wife have equal rights to this funds according to the structure, purpose and goal of the family.
The real issue is not who works or stays at home. It is a mindset issue that need to be corrected during courtship and it is also respect issue. If both realize they are working towards the same goal(which is whats best for our family) issues like this will not matter.
The only exception to this rule is if one of the spouse is not very management conscious of the family funds. Then some restriction can be placed to help the santity of the household.
Well my household works according to this structure and we have never had money fights. Cause the boundaries are very clear.
my 2 cents.
May you walk and never stumble jare, and if at you wanna stumble, may you stumble on a nice man with 6 packs and all the wonderful heart. You have said it all. It is the money that belongs to the household. |
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