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rihanna (f)
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Well @Michelin89 i always use to have problems wit' my mom! but leavin' will not make things any betta. if u know u'll leave n u'll not want any help from her that'll be fine. but if it turns out that u'll be callin' home each time for help, gurl it's betta u stay home. i get along so well wit' my mom's friends but sometimes when she's (my mom)around it's like i become dumb. it was too much that one day i told her to her face that when she behaves the way she does, she makes me hate her. that was the day we started gettin' along. i think the main factor between you two shuld be communication.
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nucca (f)
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try to 'train' yourself to get along with ur mum, u'll need that experience to survive in the outside world especially the work environment.
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Seun (m)
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Getting along with a parent is harder than getting along in the workplace, because your boss won't come to your room in the middle of the night demanding for changes in the way you live your personal life!
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goodguy (m)
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Seun, this is about Michelin not you. Don't take this matter too personal  |
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Seun (m)
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Should I remove my last post?  |
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goodguy (m)
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If you wish..  |
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michelin89 (f)
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you can leave it seun since what you said was right and pertinent to the topic
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WesleyanA (f)
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michelin, you know what you can do? buy your mom some christmas gift in december and next mother's day. she'll get excited and treat you like her favorite. watch!
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goodguy (m)
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How do u expect her to do that? She says she hates her mom. (..or am I getting something wrong here?)  |
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WesleyanA (f)
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she says "she hates her mom" doesn't mean she hates her. she's just mad at her that's all.
hate is a strong word that is used as an understatement nowadays. when she says hate, she means dislike.
michelin, you tell your mom "i love you" on mother's day. don't say you're sorry or anything because she's the one that's wrong. just say that and buy her gifts. she'll love you forever (well, if buy her gifts once a year). she wouldn't raise a finger at you.
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goodguy (m)
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when she says hate, she means dislike. "Hate" and "dislike" are synonyms...duuhh! Despite the fact that "hate" sounds harsh, it still has the same meaning as "dislike". |
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WesleyanA (f)
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michelin, you'll get on fine w/ your mom when you graduate from being a teenager.
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Jillianne (f)
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Well this is what I have to say about this. I am 16 right now. And when I told my boyfriend/fiancee that I did not like my mom, this is what he told me
He said that I should like my mom because she is the only mum that I have and she is the only one that I will ever have. And that when there are family functions and I get asked where my mom is I just say I don't like my mom. How good of a thing is that to say at a family function. So from that day on I just started to ease my way into my mom. And you can not just jump into trying something so big. You have to take it in baby steps. Little steps are best then trying to pass everything and miss what you could have seen if you were not going so fast. So just stick in there. If she hurt you so much you could also go to an abusive place. I forget what they are called. But maybe you do not have them there in Nigeria. But over here in USA we have them all over the place. So please just do it slow. I still want to move away from my mom but she will feel so hurt if I leave her because I am her little baby. And she loves me and I will still have love for her inside me. So just please stick in there. Just take it slow talk to her when she is in a good mood and just go from there. And keep me posted on what she does or what you do OK
Jillianne
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mantha (m)
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A mother's love should be unconditional. Advising this person to "buy" that love is bad advise indeed. This woman sounds like she has issues and is taking it out on her child.
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Jillianne (f)
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True True True in deed. My mom likes to take things out on me all the time. But just the past weekend, I talked to her about it when she came to pick me up from work. And everything went pretty good. She came to understnad what i think of her and I asked her to change her ways and she said ok. So well all I have to say is it takes time to make things work.
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WesleyanA (f)
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A mother's love should be unconditional. Advising this person to "buy" that love is bad advise indeed. This woman sounds like she has issues and is taking it out on her child.
if you were refering to me, buying your mom gift on mother's day or making her a card isn't "buying love" from your mom. It's more like "showing love" to your mom. |
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mango
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No offense guys, but some mothers can be very evil and I mean evil in the spiritual sense. I don't get on well with my mother too - but mine is kind of spiritual. We don't get on well because she was (and probably still is) into all kinds of things that affected my life and one of my children's. She only calls when she needs money and can not stand the fact that I'm a born-again christian. I have forgiven her and certainly wish her all the best, but I won't let my guards down when I'm around her, let alone eat her food. When I was in my teens, she complained that I was always looking in the mirror and wondered if I thought I was pretty etc. - a mother ? I was such a quiet, helpful, obedient child then. There is so much more but I had rather not spill.
Be more prayerful and nip it in the bud girl! God will show you deep and secret things, if there are any concerning your situation
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larger_20 (m)
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Honestly....I have been a pretender to my mom just to satisfy her needs but now am more of being myself and concidering that am no longer a baby, if i go home..I am sure gona freak out with her but oh well..NOt to the extent that she will cry..I can't afford to see my mom cry...I will i mean...I don't know what to say again  |
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michelin89 (f)
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this morning i was to have a maths test but unfortunately due to the traffic my bus arrived late at the station, so i also missed the coach that takes me to school. i was scared and didn't know what to do so the only solution i thought was to call home to inform my parents of what has happened. honestly i didn't want to arrive to school late for the test and also i was frightened. all i wanted was just some words of encouragements and do you know what i was told: "i don't care about what you would do! you can go to hell if you don't want to go to school!" is it possible for your mother to act like this when you are in difficulty by making you worse than you already are? some people here on this forum might say i have my faults in what is going on between us or maybe i shouldn't make this problem a worldwide news but i can't just help it. that woman just gets on my nerves. there's no day she does something to comfort me in my moments of sorrow. all she does is to add more instead.  |
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Ralex (m)
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Give her the benefit of doubt. It is true she might hate you but that could be thoroughly misplaced. (You did not mention anything about your father).
Show her some love, LOVE CONQUERS ALL THINGS .... one day stumble in on her and tell her you love her when she least expects it. Maybe after a quarrel, maybe when she is cooking when she least expects it (Do not expect her to open her hand wide for you immediately) but it would stick to her mind when she calms down it would stick to her mind.
Give Love it would come back. .... full measure; pressed down; shaken together; running over.... Respond to here insults with "I love you" and say it sincerely CRY if you feel like it. Anything you want you must it first. And reach out to her she needs you as much as you need her
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michelin89 (f)
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i can't say daddy fully understands me but at least he tries. but that woman...she is something else.
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hike man
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see you are going through teenage stages, there must be a certain reason she acts like that towards you , try to talk to her and understand why she gets mad easily, some parents find it difficult to say sorry even when they know they are wrong. Just keep doing you r best
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michelin89 (f)
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ignore..ignore..that's all i can do for now.
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michelin89 (f)
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when people see a 16 yr-old girl fighting her mother the fault is always the girl's but when she also grows adult that's when people might think that maybe the mother has also contributed to the problem.
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Ralex (m)
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Michelle ... you feel just the way she feels .... angry, rejected, neglected in short UNLOVED. people are just mirrors to our own emotion. You can not get any love from her if you present this facade, she would only try to defend herself (Very few people, very few would not instinctively spring to protect themselves when attacked. you and her are just protecting yourselves by hating (My opinion)).... what I suggested to you in my earlier posting is to turn the ball against her but in a positive way. SHOW HER SOME LOVE. she would be forced to look at her relationship with you
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Ib (f)
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I was 7 when my mum got a job with a high profile banking in lagos. She left us in the hands of our dad and went off to greener pastures. I was the first child so i had to take responsibility for my younger ones and we were left at the mercy of househelps and my dad ( who lost it a lot of times). Although my mum was very hardworking and provided us with the best, the one thing she was not able to establish with me was that mother/daughter love.
When my dad lost his job, we all had to move to stay with my mum in lagos. And i tell you, it was war. My mother and i could not see eye to eye. I lost count of how many times she disowned me and i also lost count of how many times i ran away from home. There were times when my mum wouldnt even come home because of me. My mum destroyed so much valuables by throwing them at me. There was even once she chased me out of the house and i spent in an uncompleted building with mosquitoes and ants and to top it up, armed robbers were in the area and i could hear all the gunshots and the robbers running around the area. I can't forget the times when i went on hunger strikes for up to a month at a time and family members would come begging me because i had lost so much weight and looked like i had full-blown AIDS. I hated my mother with all my might.
To cut a long story short, my mum eventually decided to come to england and she took myself and my younger brother with her. Our relocation was such a difficult phase for us and we all had to stick together. I don't live at home now, as i've finished school and now working but my mum and i are best of chums. We talk almost every day and she is a rock for me. Whenever i feel depressed or lonely and i look for love without prejudice, i call her. I can tell my mum about men, difficulty with weight loss, my problems at work, everything.
So i can comprehend what u guys are going through, but i can assure u that it will get better. Life abroad is so stressful and your mum might just be going through some rough and patchy times herself. I advise you guys to hold on and be strong. It can only get better and when it does, i can assure u that apart from God's love, a mother's love is the greatest love of all.!!!!!
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larger_20 (m)
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Does anyone know how to unsubscribe from a particular trend or discussion? Some discussion are really getting boring and i want to leave
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michelin89 (f)
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no..the only way is to ignore them like i do
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I.B. (f)
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Ib, I must congratulate you and your mother. I wished I could talk to my mom in that level, although we are cool now but there is still some kind of line we are both uncomfortable with. Those lines u mentioned which I believe every mom/daughter should have. Talking about things that really matter to us. I mean, I just don't call my mom up and talk to her about things that bothers me.
Regards,
I.B.
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