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Monicaa
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Though I am really moving on or moved on because it's been long, I know I still have feelings 4 my ex. I sumtimes wonder even "IF" it was possible we cud get back 2geda or work things out, how possible is that? After I had told him I was healing nd moving on? How likely/possible is that? Wouldn't he already think I'm moving on nd may not want 2 consider again? Pls anybody with sum thuts?
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alfchye (m)
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See person when use hre hand pour sand for garri,You still want to to start to dey pick am comot inside. Let me ask you. Did the bobo do anything wrong before you decide to go your seperate ways. Because I think going back to him now will amount to nothing.The guy will take advantage of you now, SINCE HE KNOWS YOU LIKE HIM VERY MUCH. Juts move on and forget it, There are bunch of idiot like him out there, We men are really bunch of Idiot.So get going, maybe u might meet your final busstop. I go pray for u  |
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ezinne1212 (f)
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Do yourself a favour and move on , really move on with your life. It's not a case of indecision here. If you told the guy you've moved on, chances are he listened and did the same. Let go!
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iice (f)
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Can An Ex Still Get Back Together After Telling Him/her U R Moving On? NO. once the decision is made, it is made. Gone are the days when a person's word meant anything  Though I am really moving on or moved on because it's been long, I know I still have feelings 4 my ex. I sumtimes wonder even "IF" it was possible we cud get back 2geda or work things out, how possible is that? After I had told him I was healing nd moving on? How likely/possible is that? Wouldn't he already think I'm moving on nd may not want 2 consider again? Pls anybody with sum thuts?
You haven't moved on. You have deluded yourself into thinking you have moved on.
As for the bold part ~ duh! |
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Monicaa
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@Iice, u cud be right I haven't moved on, but it's been long nd I've dated sum1 else nd still meeting pple but it's like he is still @ d top. U said once a decision is made, it's made but y do sum couples reconcile nd get back afta breaking up? I don't think in all cases 1ce a decision is made, it's made, sum things cud have been said @ d heat of d moment.
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Monicaa
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@ezinne1212, I'm moving on or have moved on, but I still gat love 4 him.
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Monicaa
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@alfchye, thanks 4 your prayer lol. I have moved on I think.
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topup
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For the fact that you are still trying to keep your options open, you really don't want your ex to forget about you and move on, but you want to give him the illusion that you have - probably just to threaten him in a hope that he'll fight for you.
Well, I believe you should start with honesty. It isn't a crime to admit that you are harbouring feelings that a lot of people here will judge you for. Hey!! You're only human. However, what are the reasons for you wanting to re-consider the relationship??
Is it because you haven't found another guy to replace him??
From your posts (if I remember correctly) - he deserved to be let go, you did the right thing, and we here on Nairaland were ready to offer support for you to restore yourself, so it's a little confusing.
I don't want to be a hypocryte, because I've been there before, but in all honesty, you should try and make a decision, don't waver too much because even he won't take you seriously. Make your decision, make a list if you must, of why you think the relationship was better broken off and why you think it'll be all worth the hassle stress and confusion to try and re-open the healing wounds.
I think if you're honest, you'll be able to rationally convince your heart that bit longer that you are better off without him.
Everytime you feel weak, come on Nairaland, I'm sure others will advise you on ways to move on.
Alternatively, if you discard everything and decide to do a U-turn, you can just follow your heart, because I doubt anyone here will be able to give you a rational reason as to why you should go back to a failed relationship.
U said once a decision is made, it's made but y do sum couples reconcile nd get back afta breaking up? I don't think in all cases 1ce a decision is made, it's made, sum things cud have been said @ d heat of d moment.
Things like this confuse me, because the impression I got was that you made a rational decision in breaking-up with him and that you knew deep down inside that you were better off. Yes, that feeling fades over time, but the reasons should still be there.
If you feel like you've misrepresented the guy or your relationship and you believe it was really special and definitely worth fighting for, this is your chance to convey that, but until you do, most people will say the same as what's above (iice & ezinne1212).
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iice (f)
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@Iice, u cud be right I haven't moved on, but it's been long nd I've dated sum1 else nd still meeting pple but it's like he is still @ d top. U said once a decision is made, it's made but y do sum couples reconcile nd get back afta breaking up? I don't think in all cases 1ce a decision is made, it's made, sum things cud have been said @ d heat of d moment.
Yes people do reconcile. Yes people tend to say things in the heat of the moment, that is why it's usually advice to keep certain things off till one has calmed down.
I was referring to myself. Once my decision is made, it is made. There is no breaking it. Something only Anton Chigurh would understand  |
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ezinne1212 (f)
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@ezinne1212, I'm moving on or have moved on, but I still gat love 4 him.
I believe you still see an avenue open for you and your ex, i guess that's why you're undecided about still moving-on and having moved-on. My ex got another girl pregnant, and tried to run. Later i found out he was trying to stop being an asshole and be committed to me. The girl came to me knowing this , and i helped her out without saying to much and told him to take care of his child. After 2 years he called me when they were about to have their second child and thanked me for doing what i did. I smile now because at least i know that the good i saw in him, was there, life's not perfect. I talk to his wife, we're friends  , such is life. Am i bitter, i was in the beginning, but i think i did good, i have no regrets, i hope for the best for us all. Moral of the story for you, my chapter is closed. Now i trust my instincts and i'll keep going till i'm with the one meant for me. Dig deep and ask yourself if that's the same for you? if it's not, don't deceive yourself, finish what you started regardless of what happened, else you won't ever open your heart or mind to someone else. |
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topup
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I believe you still see an avenue open for you and your ex, i guess that's why you're undecided about still moving-on and having moved-on. My ex got another girl pregnant, and tried to run. Later i found out he was trying to stop being an asshole and be committed to me. The girl came to me knowing this , and i helped her out without saying to much and told him to take care of his child. After 2 years he called me when they were about to have their second child and thanked me for doing what i did. I smile now because at least i know that the good i saw in him, was there, life's not perfect. I talk to his wife, we're friends , such is life. Am i bitter, i was in the beginning, but i think i did good, i have no regrets, i hope for the best for us all. Moral of the story for you, my chapter is closed. Now i trust my instincts and i'll keep going till i'm with the one meant for me. Dig deep and ask yourself if that's the same for you? if it's not, don't deceive yourself, finish what you started regardless of what happened, else you won't ever open your heart or mind to someone else.
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CrazyMan (m)
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If you still love him, why not tell him how you feel. . .
Why suffer in silence when the solution is right in front of you
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Monicaa
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Well, I believe you should start with honesty. It isn't a crime to admit that you are harbouring feelings that a lot of people here will judge you for. Hey!! You're only human. However, what are the reasons for you wanting to re-consider the relationship??
Is it because you haven't found another guy to replace him??
From your posts (if I remember correctly) - he deserved to be let go, you did the right thing, and we here on Nairaland were ready to offer support for you to restore yourself, so it's a little confusing.
I don't want to be a hypocryte, because I've been there before, but in all honesty, you should try and make a decision, don't waver too much because even he won't take you seriously. Make your decision, make a list if you must, of why you think the relationship was better broken off and why you think it'll be all worth the hassle stress and confusion to try and re-open the healing wounds.
I think if you're honest, you'll be able to rationally convince your heart that bit longer that you are better off without him.
Everytime you feel weak, come on Nairaland, I'm sure others will advise you on ways to move on.
Alternatively, if you discard everything and decide to do a U-turn, you can just follow your heart, because I doubt anyone here will be able to give you a rational reason as to why you should go back to a failed relationship.
Things like this confuse me, because the impression I got was that you made a rational decision in breaking-up with him and that you knew deep down inside that you were better off. Yes, that feeling fades over time, but the reasons should still be there.
If you feel like you've misrepresented the guy or your relationship and you believe it was really special and definitely worth fighting for, this is your chance to convey that, but until you do, most people will say the same as what's above (iice & ezinne1212).
Honestly, I haven't seen someone that can replace him yet, much better, as much as I loved him, I don't want to settle 4 less. I want something much better than him, that's the only way I feel I might get over him, but it just hasn't happened, making me think nd believe he might have been d best. I know the relationship was not all that great nd I deserve better, like u said, I should not deceive myself, I love him but i know if I meet someone higher than him, it would fade away making me believe that's d only way I can let go of him. |
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Monicaa
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I believe you still see an avenue open for you and your ex, i guess that's why you're undecided about still moving-on and having moved-on. My ex got another girl pregnant, and tried to run. Later i found out he was trying to stop being an asshole and be committed to me. The girl came to me knowing this , and i helped her out without saying to much and told him to take care of his child. After 2 years he called me when they were about to have their second child and thanked me for doing what i did. I smile now because at least i know that the good i saw in him, was there, life's not perfect. I talk to his wife, we're friends , such is life. Am i bitter, i was in the beginning, but i think i did good, i have no regrets, i hope for the best for us all. Moral of the story for you, my chapter is closed. Now i trust my instincts and i'll keep going till i'm with the one meant for me. Dig deep and ask yourself if that's the same for you? if it's not, don't deceive yourself, finish what you started regardless of what happened, else you won't ever open your heart or mind to someone else. U r a strong lady nd I commend u for such, I want 2 think dat way but so fa d people I've dated rnt beter than him yet, nd i don't want 2 wait 4eva. I really still love him but if it's not meant 2 b, then i guess it wouldn't be, but I really don't want 2 settle 4 less 2 make me let go of him completely. |
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Monicaa
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If you still love him, why not tell him how you feel. . .
Why suffer in silence when the solution is right in front of you
This is some1 dat has humilated me with my love, how else can I show him, than wait in silence nd see d future. |
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ezinne1212 (f)
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U r a strong lady nd I commend u for such, I want 2 think dat way but so fa d people I've dated rnt beter than him yet, nd i don't want 2 wait 4eva. I really still love him but if it's not meant 2 b, then i guess it wouldn't be, but I really don't want 2 settle 4 less 2 make me let go of him completely.
I hate to break it to you, but by holding on to someone who you know didn't treat you right, you are settling for less. My dear, free yourself before it's to late. Don't say you're waiting for someone better, you're just making the same mistakes. Do some soul searching! |
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Monicaa
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I hate to break it to you, but by holding on to someone who you know didn't treat you right, you are settling for less. My dear, free yourself before it's to late. Don't say you're waiting for someone better, you're just making the same mistakes. Do some soul searching!
I have done some soul searching, it's been so long but he had his good side nd bad side. There r worse guys out there, when I say some1 better, i mean some1 I could love too better which i believe is d only way i can get him off my mind 4eva or close to without thinking too much of him. We know we can't force love on ourselves 2 love sum1, it has 2 come naturally. |
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ezinne1212 (f)
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I wish you the best, i really do. You've chosen a path that i decided wasn't healthy for me. I decided to focus more on me, because if that wasn't in order i wouldn't respect the right guy if he came along and would probably choose someone like my ex all over again. I'm sure you know what you're looking for and if this is the best option for you to heal, then all i can say is thread wisely.
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Monicaa
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I wish you the best, i really do. You've chosen a path that i decided wasn't healthy for me. I decided to focus more on me, because if that wasn't in order i wouldn't respect the right guy if he came along and would probably choose someone like my ex all over again. I'm sure you know what you're looking for and if this is the best option for you to heal, then all i can say is thread wisely.
I quite agree with u, maybe u r misunderstanding me. I know i deserve sum1 better than him, i'm just battling with my feelings 4 him becos it's been so long n yet feelings 4 him r still there with me. i want sum1 else but not just any1, sum1 dat wud make me think less of him, mayb i'm just being impatient or skeptic about d future, but like u, i have 2 believe d right 1 wud come around. |
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brows (f)
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its your life after all said and done
there is always a thin line between second chance and being fooled twice
i would say go over the whole r/ship in your mind,be objective and sincere to yourself
do you think you might make now the same choices you made then given the same scenario
there are things we can live with and some we cant so i'll say since you do not have peace about your decision
no harm in second chance than to live with who knows what would have been
no one is above mistakes and at the same time value yourself enough not to take somethings
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gbengaziki (m)
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Pls move on 9c and simple. He'll probably take advantage of u if u go back.
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TheSeeker (m)
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@Ezinne
You're for real. One of the intelligent women on this forum. Keep it up
@Poster
Come to terms with your feelings for this guy and stop pretending like you can handle your sh*t when you barely understand it.
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topup
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Honestly, I haven't seen someone that can replace him yet, much better, as much as I loved him, I don't want to settle 4 less. I want something much better than him, that's the only way I feel I might get over him, but it just hasn't happened, making me think nd believe he might have been d best.
I know the relationship was not all that great nd I deserve better, like u said, I should not deceive myself, I love him but i know if I meet someone higher than him, it would fade away making me believe that's d only way I can let go of him.
If you weren't being treated right in the relationship then I doubt that he's the best. He may after all just be the best of a bad bunch, and not exactly the best for you.
I think it's going to be harder for you to find someone you think has potential because this break up seems to have gotten you to evaluate things, you've considered the past relationship (probably in a lot of detail), so you're less likely to waltz into anything.
I get the sense that you want to be in a relationship even if it costs you your happiness, it seems bareable now, but imagine putting up with rubbish again, I'm sure being single would look highly appetising then.
Don't lose hope now, it's harder to get a great guy, that's just the way it is, but it is definitely worth holding out. In the meantime, find some hobbies, keep busy, maybe if you work on your interests you might bump into a guy who shares them with you.
All the best.
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Monicaa
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Thanks all that contributed.
Here is the new problem now, since my ex did me wrong nd i told him i was moving on nd would find someone that would treat me better but now I'm guessing it is wrong. There is a guy that has been disturbing me only 4 me 2 find out he has a girlfriend but im yet 2 confirm 4rm him which i would 2moro. That's d difficulty making me let go of my ex even though the relationship wasnt all dat, at least most guys r d same.
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Hollysmile
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Monicaaaaaaaa!
Where've u been?
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Monicaa
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Monicaaaaaaaa!
Where've u been?
Hollyyyyyyyy!! I've been here nd around. how u doin? |
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pej
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dear monicaa,hw r u.i hv a question 4 u.hw do u really kno your guy?is he a kind of a temperminded man.wel if u still love him or hv dat same feelings 4 him as u said.give it a trial,dont think or guest but make a step.i wod like 2talk 2 u on phn.my numbers 08039270871.bye
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JJYOU
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Thanks all that contributed.
Here is the new problem now, since my ex did me wrong nd i told him i was moving on nd would find someone that would treat me better but now I'm guessing it is wrong. There is a guy that has been disturbing me only 4 me 2 find out he has a girlfriend but im yet 2 confirm 4rm him which i would 2moro. That's d difficulty making me let go of my ex even though the relationship wasnt all dat, at least most guys r d same.
get on with your life. you are trying to make a point to yourself even if you have to lie to yourself in the process. is he really worth it? no one is big enough to make you stop living. get on with it life is tough. |
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Monicaa
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get on with your life. you are trying to make a point to yourself even if you have to lie to yourself in the process. is he really worth it?
no one is big enough to make you stop living. get on with it life is tough.
Thanks, i really need this. dear monicaa,hw r u.i hv a question 4 u.hw do u really kno your guy?is he a kind of a temperminded man.wel if u still love him or hv dat same feelings 4 him as u said.give it a trial,dont think or guest but make a step.i wod like 2talk 2 u on phn.my numbers 08039270871.bye
Hey pej, monicaa is ok. my ex nd I r not even in talking terms or communicating now even if i wanted to. |
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Hollysmile
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Monicaaaaa! I'm cool, (in luv wif your name). Dat's by the way!
Really wonderin how hurt u truly are on the inside. But, DID U SAY U GUYS AREN'T ON TALKIN TERMS? Now, dis is de one thin i hate in break-ups. No matter what comes between lovers, it's usually adviceable to stil be in a 'once in a while' talkin terms. A'mean, de world is so small dat u neva know what's gonn' happen in the next few yrs. IT'S A ROTATING GLOBE U KNOW!
My point: Even if u don't make-up, i advice u be in good terms (not necessarily makin up), It's always very good. Dat's how i run mine.
Besta luck, Monicaaaa dearie!
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C2H5OH (m)
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Of course you won't be "into" the other boys you've been with since you are still deeply "sprung" to the asshole that mistreated you. In short, they were probably rebounds and you hoped they would help you get over him, but they didn't.
I Lol @ you. LOL
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Monicaa
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Monicaaaaa! I'm cool, (in luv wif your name). Dat's by the way!
Really wonderin how hurt u truly are on the inside. But, DID U SAY U GUYS AREN'T ON TALKIN TERMS? Now, dis is de one thin i hate in break-ups. No matter what comes between lovers, it's usually adviceable to stil be in a 'once in a while' talkin terms. A'mean, de world is so small dat u neva know what's gonn' happen in the next few yrs. IT'S A ROTATING GLOBE U KNOW!
My point: Even if u don't make-up, i advice u be in good terms (not necessarily makin up), It's always very good. Dat's how i run mine.
Besta luck, Monicaaaa dearie!
Hollyyy!! Hun, thanksss. Yea no commnication mainly from his side and I don't plan on initiating it at this point with what he did to me. I'm like u in that, why cant we keep in touch even if we r not together but i guess, so be it. |
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