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alheri (f)
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Well hello everyone.
I just thought we should have a special thread for those of us that are married and engaged. We can get to talk about those things in marriage or relationships that are so wonderful, nice, sweet and those that are annoying, terrifying, disgusting etc. You know, all the works.
Please single people can join in too, if they've got something to contribute. So, hoping to hear from you guys.
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Michellej (f)
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i am not married yet; but in a serious relationship(we live together and all that). Most tiimes i feel like i need my freedom, want to still do things i did when i was single, its like i feel like once i get married i am going to get very bored of the whole thing. We argue a lot too so i am not sure if that is a good thing.
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Seun (m)
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Hello alheri and Michellej, thanks for sharing. ' Tell us About Your Marriage' is a thread where the married members of this forum can tell us all about their marriages or read the stories shared by other married people. I am single but I look forward to learning a lot from the engaged and married members of the forum. Thanks! |
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alheri (f)
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i get what you mean. like u just want to get away,catch some fresh air. But then ure out there and you're still thinking about him. its all so craaaaazy!
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alheri (f)
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And i also think that arguing is good.because when youve said it all in the heat of the moment,you can later discuss it amicably and profer solutions.
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Michellej (f)
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yeah i do miss him when we are not together but at the same time i feel like there is still so much out there for me. Not sure if i am being greedy but i just feel like i want More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Its really bad as well when I go to Nigeria on holiday, so many guys chasing after you and all that; to be honest i don't understand the whole relationship/marriage thing, but i hope that i do soon..............
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alheri (f)
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don't worry about it there,its really complex but its still GREAT!! don't mind all those guys chasing after you,its because they probably know u have a good relationship and they just want to find out what makes you TICK!!!
There really isnt that much out there,because those out there wish they were in your shoes.
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Michellej (f)
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you are probably right, thanks a lot for your advise. Will give it my best shot and see how things go.
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alheri (f)
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Good for you girl! hope to hear from you soon!
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Michellej (f)
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yeah babes, take care and i am sure that we will chat again.
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Oracle (m)
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HEY HEY What about us singies  |
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lioness (f)
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yeah, what about us singles?
I have a question for 'em married people
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alheri (f)
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okay lioness, wats ur ?,SHOOT! singles please feel free to join in the jist.
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lioness (f)
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;Dyippyy i get to ask a question
Okay, am single and am hoping to get married someday but am worried.
Is marriage really worth it? I hear some married couples say" they wish they were still single'
And there's this saying that "those in marriage are wishing they could come out of it' is it true.
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alheri (f)
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honestly, for me. I love been married,especially to my husband. people who are married and now wish they are single are people who have "oju kokoro" or "longer throat" or are "greedy". Marriage isnt easy, u got to try make it work.
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chum (m)
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Yeah alheri am ok with your believe, i love that...ha. ha. ha.
even thou am not married, but i think i like everything about marriage
Hope to be married someday, my father once told me that,
it's only then i can start reasoning like a man
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lioness (f)
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I think maybe they got married for the wrong reasons or they werent sure about their marriage.
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alheri (f)
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yeah maybe,but u see the thing about marriage i believe even if u werent sure, u can still make it work. in a marriage,even respect should be rated higher than love. with respect, u can make it work too. look at our parents,some of them had arranged marriages in those days but we still grew up and saw them together. they mite have had arrgd marriages but they respected each other and with respect,love can develope. i believe.
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lioness (f)
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kool, am learning. Okay this last one, if you were to rate 5 things [order of priority] that would help make a successful marriage, what would they be  |
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alheri (f)
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FOR ME
1. respect
2. love
3. sex
4. friendship
5.honesty
priority changes sometimes,i mean like when am fifty sex mite have to go lower in priority and all that, u know.
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fabian (f)
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@ lioness, I thought you were married?  |
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lioness (f)
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hahahaha i aint. do i sound it  Am getting on the track soon though  @aldheri thats a good list.........tks |
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fabian (f)
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hmm, I was referring to the Tell us U R married thread where you send you are married to an alien..........I guess you were kidding then!
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alheri (f)
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why does love have to hurt so much sometimes? why can't it just be a smooth sail all through? somebody? any clues?
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Seun (m)
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Because people think they know everything about relationships, whereas they know nothing. So they hurt each other in their relationships, since they really don't know what they are doing!
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alheri (f)
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my dear seun, i don't think so. i mean this is some one you love,just because the persons actions are hurting you doesnt mean they don't love you or that theyre hurting you intentionally. what do you mean people don't know what they're doing? couples don't plan fights or misunderstandings they just pop up from the blues sometimes. sometimes you think back and u don't even know how an argument started.
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Seun (m)
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couples don't plan fights or misunderstandings they just pop up from the blues sometimes. sometimes you think back and you don't even know how an argument started. Nothing happens without a reason. The fact that something "pops up from the blues" doesn't mean it has no cause. It simply means I don't know why it happened - maybe I was not attentive or I really don't have enough knowledge in the area of relationshps and communication. If you have knowledge about something, then when there is a problem at least you will know why and what your options are. There are people that specialize in the dynamics of relationships and really have a lot of information about what makes relationships fail and what makes others work, but we don't utilize them. Instead we make assumptions based from our upbringing and culture, and we act based on our emotions. |
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fabian (f)
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Love hurts! Ouch!
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alheri (f)
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oh oooh! seun, now you're getting too intense. what might work for mr. a may not work for mr.b and it could be because of those same reasons ure putting down(upbringing and culture). Professionals may load u with lots of information but they don't have all the answers. they'll give you theory, but you want reality!!! i don't think there is a manual anywhere for relationships,marriage or even a forum like what we have here. We all relate based on our backgrounds,cultures and upbringing. even though we have rules,we break them everyday. Its not just about having information,my dear, somethings happen and must not have 1 explanation.
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