Do I Let Go Of My Son And Risk Losing Him To My Ex-wife (ex Bitch)

I am a 34 year man and me and my wife has been seperated for the past 1 year.
don't really want to go into the reason and everything, but lets just say its a situation that cants be remedied .But we have a son that is 1 year 5 month and 17 days.
When we seperated she took the child with her to her parents place and they have been there for the past 1 year and all efforts to settle the rift has been abortive. And right now I no longer love her anymore .
My problem is this. The child is with her and i was told to stop coming to the parents house to see the boy.
Before them she communicates with me grudingly about My son's needs and we are not on talking terms at all. I would have prefered that despite the fact that we hate each other guts we should act like decent human beings.

For a period of 3-4 weeks I did not send supplies partially because she did not communicate with me regarding his exact needs ,also I was so broke during that period and I was protesting the unreasonble demands made.
When eventually after 3 weeks I went there to see my son. I sent some things to him but my ex-wifes parents and she herself refused those things and sent for me.
On getting there I was told that I should stop bringing things for the boy and that henceforth I am banned from coming to the house again.It was a big scene and I exchanged words with parents for the first time in 12 months.

My problem now is the next step to take.
Most people advise that I leave the child with them and face my life and rebuild my failed buiness and carreer(hidden and real reason why the my ex-bitch left me)
But its not easy for my me cause I love my son to pieces and can't bear not being part of his childhood.
My ex-wife is asuch a nasty bitch that she will probably take the child away soon and disappear.

The second option is to go be a man's man and go and take my son from them.
Technically we are yet to divource and that means I still have the right to go and take my son. If I go to court , the court might grant her custody and I will lose out. But now that noone has gone to court yet.My lawyer says that I can exercise my natural right as the father and take him away using reasonable and mininal force.
Note that I don't love her any more and she does not love me.
But She and her stupid family is using the boy as a bait.
Majority ask me to leave her and the child and face my life.
But my heart is heavy and also they will tell the boy stupid stpries when he grows up.Remember that history is written by winners.

Note that we were legally married