Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderator: iice)  |  Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
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Author Topic: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?  (Read 3488 views)
lioness (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #32 on: November 17, 2006, 10:46 AM »

depends
Mystique (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #33 on: November 17, 2006, 12:38 PM »

Its never been advisable, an EX is an EX, case closed, no friendship, no whatever,   Cool
Radiant (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #34 on: November 17, 2006, 01:38 PM »

Quote from: Mystique on November 17, 2006, 12:38 PM
Its never been advisable, an EX is an EX, case closed, no friendship, no whatever, Cool

You wrong baby! A friend is a friend. Either ex or 'y', I value good friendship. Duhhh! Cool
rawlings (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #35 on: November 17, 2006, 02:39 PM »

Hello,plz lets say the fact in here.One fact is that is not good keeping out from your ex and another fact is that is not good having them as Friends.I once had an ex,we called on phone after break,no one told each other it was over. it depends on the way u broke up.i used to call her but at a time she said i should should bkos i guess she hates me then bkos the break up was still very fresh.And i had to stop.Believe me after many months of no calls no contact no seeing,the next we saw each other was in a cyber cafe,and gosh come and see the looks on our eyes and the come back of memories.Friendship,r.ships can die but the question is what can u do to memory to fade away.You will always remember the feelings u once had,all the good times,romance,sex and bad times,ecept u tells me that when u people where going on that there where no feelings there.Believe me feelings can only be kept cold but can't die.My Principles on this issue is that,FEELINGS NEVER DIE.Immediately u remember the memories things becomes new and is dangerous to your present r/ship, Lets face the fact non of your new partner will allow u to have contact with your ex,we all are jealous boys or girls.I can't have my ex having contacts with her ex.No matter how pure thire friendship may seem to,i might be skeptical about her intentions.So bro plz keep off and let your friendship with your ex be brief and let it be only nature that brings u together.
Cheers man.
Raimond (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #36 on: November 17, 2006, 05:57 PM »

Guys, my point is not borne out of a preconceived notion,but experience.Ive been married for 4 years and i had never strayed.But i`m glad this topic was posted because i`m a victim in someway.My wife had gone on training to the UK andf i really felt lonely,so i resorted to the innocent company of my immediate past ex and it turned out to be a disaster.Not only did we get down,it became a routine thruout the duration of my wife`s absence.I really love my wife,and would not want to hurt her,but now the fling has ended,each time i look my wife in the face to tell her i love her,i feel guilt.The main problem now is that i can`t seem to get over some of the things that girl did to me,meaning the urge is stil there.[b]FOLKS PLEASE DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR, kEEP UR EXes AWAY FROM UR LOVE LIFE OR BE TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH THEM.THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE TSUNAMIC Sad
Radiant (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #37 on: November 17, 2006, 06:10 PM »

Quote from: Raimond on November 17, 2006, 05:57 PM
THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE TSUNAMIC Sad

lmao. . . . Nice one bro  Grin Grin Grin

dominobaby (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #38 on: November 17, 2006, 06:46 PM »

I do quite agree with chumac. Keep them as friends but at arms length, you never can tell where you could need help. But if your present girlfriend is not comfortable, if you do care for her happiness, then you do what you got to do.
kheme (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #39 on: November 19, 2006, 01:11 PM »

Well, here is my opionion,  or part of it The Breakup Ideology
ObaMan (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #40 on: November 21, 2006, 04:13 PM »

Yes, because your ex- is human and can be a moment of respite, at times
geniusbami (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #41 on: November 23, 2006, 12:38 AM »

Whether You Can keep your ex as friend is both personal and relative.

From personal experience, if you haven´t corrupted yourselves, both of you would be free, bold and confident around each other. She would even be a testimony to your chastity with your wife.

I took my wife to my ex´s introduction and wedding ceremonies and her parents´ and siblings´ comportment around me reassured my wife it had been a platonic relationship. She thus trust me more.

So, like I said, it´s a both personal and relative issue.
lioness (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #42 on: November 23, 2006, 09:13 AM »

 Cool
moremia (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #43 on: November 23, 2006, 04:24 PM »

they can't become  enemies simply because u have broken up with them
but then,they don't have to come so close
because old feelings could always up Wink u no what i mean
well,all d best
buzortech (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #44 on: November 23, 2006, 09:31 PM »

Please if u can, keep them far off. From experience, my ex n i started being close when we started casual gist, later it went on to prolonged calls, talks about past good experiences together, talks about what caused the breakup. We got close, or rather she go too attached ( I already had a new girlfriend). She got to know i loved my girlfriend very much n she grew violently jealous(that is the only way i can describe it). Now i know she can harm me because i have realised my mistakes and have been strong to resist any attempt to get close to me.
Glorya (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #45 on: November 24, 2006, 09:45 AM »

it depends on the both of you, some people might be vulnerable after a seperation while some others can handle being around their ex, so if u know u can, no big deal but if you can't just let sleeping dogs lie. Undecided
lioness (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #46 on: November 24, 2006, 09:45 AM »

 Cool
kkutecolo (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #47 on: November 24, 2006, 12:42 PM »

because yes, y not
osegwu (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #48 on: November 24, 2006, 02:04 PM »

I want to keep in contact with my numerouse Exes but i always advice them to
be careful with me because my memories are always very sharp and and keep flowing
back each time i say them and i always ask for another piece of cake.
So it could be good or bad depending on the individual involved.
jimaj4life (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #49 on: November 29, 2006, 02:47 PM »

hnm, it depends,u can still be friends but atimes you remember your past times which makes you miss him/her,but you can still be friends,if it were to be my girl friend that broke up with me,i will call her to make her realize wot she did all the time till i get over the shock,but u can still be friendz!!!!!!!!!!!!
kemoade (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #50 on: November 29, 2006, 03:56 PM »

yes u can keep them as friend but with some extra cares, l hope u understand what l mean
jimaj4life (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #51 on: November 30, 2006, 12:35 AM »

hnm,its not easy to maintain friendship with your EX cus it makes you remember your past times,but its a good thing to still be friends cus no friend it wasted,
jaybaby (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #52 on: November 30, 2006, 02:51 PM »

its good but it will also be good if u inform your new luver that the person is your ex lover and if he /she reject the idea of frndship with him/her, then don't,
Gridlock (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #53 on: December 01, 2006, 02:54 PM »

It depends on what went between the two of you. If you have an Ex that being alone together with them used to ultimately end up in sxe, then hanging around them is a no-no. Because those feelings will always come up again, causing tension in yiour present relationship and a lot of distrust.
lioness (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #54 on: December 07, 2006, 01:14 PM »

 Undecided
candylips (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #55 on: December 08, 2006, 07:41 PM »

Quote from: lioness on December 07, 2006, 01:14 PM
Undecided
Huh
eslynera (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #56 on: December 08, 2006, 07:53 PM »

@Topic, it depends with how the breakup keeps u goin. Tongue
lioness (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #57 on: December 12, 2006, 01:55 PM »

 Kiss Grin
Quote from: candylips on December 08, 2006, 07:41 PM
Huh
diyobdw (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #58 on: December 12, 2006, 02:26 PM »

seriously there is no big deal if the breakup was on understanding bases.
Got an EX that we are friends and i can say keep him as a friend open my eyes to my mistake with him.
am cool having him around because he is out of my heart as a lover.Though i have to proof that to mister man Grin
Gridlock (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #59 on: December 12, 2006, 07:34 PM »

I have been saying it
I am still saying it
And i will continue to hammer on it:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'LETS JUST BE FRIENDS' IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT USED TO BE INTIMATE. FLAMES WILL AWAKEN AGAIN. DONT BE FOOLED.
iice (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #60 on: December 13, 2006, 04:17 AM »

But i have been there, am way cool with my ex but it's a no-no for anything else other than friends because of how i feel. . .no attraction
smokie (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #61 on: January 01, 2007, 12:29 PM »

I'll keep in telephonic contact but would not want to meet them, just in case all those old memories come streaming back.
boladonas (m)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #62 on: January 01, 2007, 06:37 PM »

Dont play with fire
Old flames don't ever die
I am talking from experience
Eurphoria (f)
Re: Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?
« #63 on: January 01, 2007, 07:14 PM »

@Topic
Not advisable to, but if there is no Bf in sight then maybe for the winter months never know when you'll need a winter warmer Tongue ----**just friends** yeah riteeee  Grin
 I Cheated On My Girlfriend: Now She Doesn't Respect Me  Why is Love so Painful at Times?  Romance With My Subordinate? (I'm Married)  Page 2
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