Is It Advisable To Keep Your Ex-lover As Friend?

On the surface there is nothing wrong with it .but I for one might not be against it but think its a very bad idea.

Remember until some years ago the mere notion of doing this was frowned upon.

so as you can see there is probably a 50/50 split on keeping ex as friends.

Chances are you will most likely date/marry  a person who does not believe in keeping ex as friends and this can cause tension.Often they will not even say a word until one day a big arguement will happen and it will come out as ammo against you.

If you can avoid trouble why bring it ? There are so many people in Nigeria to make your friend.Why should your woman have to see or hear you with a woman who don see your rod?

Also as someone pointed out we are all human and you can easily fall into temptation in a single moment of weakness.And if caught or even suspected you cannot even defend yourself.

Also I would be weary if someone says they are comfortable with it and don't keep ex as friends.It often means they are just been silent about it.It might be a different case if both have ex as friends.

also even if your intentions are good ,what stops the girl coming to your wife and lying against you?

Imagine if your wife accuses you of cheating and she tells her family that your ex is regularly phoning or texting you.Do you think even if innocent your own family will support you?

120 million Nigerians .Find some friends who are not your ex.Why risk your lovely new relation or marriage?

I am not saying if you see her make you take cutlass chase am! That na police matter.

Just simple hello and goodbye if you see each other on the road is fine.

Why so big? 

@post
it depends on the reason for the breakup. . . you  guys might realized you were better as friends and broken up, and might end up as close friends afterwards

Not for me to keep all ex-lovers include ex-husband as friends- - - no thanks!

  :PI have heard o.Miss Teacher, BTW.see the liars? LOL, ex ma ass wish their tongues will blaze of fire, knowing they never screwed a fly back in the days, LOL,

Dnt mind her, she is just jelous

This is quite a nice topic, because Im glad to see am not the only one who thinks having exes around you is a bad idea.
Most of the pple saying yes, its ok seem to be ladies. Look, stop deceiving urselves. If u guys used to be intimate,and the other party knws all your vulnerabilities  you would simply just fall, its just abt waiting for the right moment. Me, once I leave an intimate relationship, thats it, if we meet on the road, its hello and hi, not me calling u and finding out  about your issues, n getting close and all that. Im only friends with 2 exes and thats cus nuthin went down, so Its ok, for the others, no!!
And like people have rightly said, if ure in a relationship, and its realli based on love, cmon, the other party wont be comfortable with u still being friends
with your ex. We men like to hide our feelings under "maturity", but it just festers inside till it blows up. Is it worth it? Is it worth holding on to something in the past?
Sometimes u gotta depart to arrive, u cannot run foward n look backwards at the same time.
Oh @octopus, nothing personal, but I dont think your hubby would be happy if he found out u kept things from him,
Leave the past, "just friends" wont work, esp if u want a good relationship in your present , forget saying "Dont u trust me", things can happen u didnt plan, so fashie that.
Cheers!

You have a good point.Indeed most saying its ok are women and also mostly women do this .Maybe its a way to prove their current boyfriend how desirable they are.

The men I know who do it call it "back up"and I will be frank with you I don't know a single guy who in his mind wants to be just "friends"

So really how would women feel if a girl keeps calling their manw ith a hidden agenda of having sex or stealing him?

So many people in the world why on earth will you want to cause friction with your current man.If he says its ok can you not at least read his feelings and see it is not?

Abi o, na which one be all this -ex this, -ex that? Why can't exes keep their distance from each other? 


Na you talk am well well, pass.

Too much stress in the world, why complicate things by having an '-ex ' as a friend? Keep them as aquaintances, passersby or even strangers from the past. Why keep them as friends? What kind of yeye friendship be that?

Another problem is that very often, -exes don't respect the boundaries of friendship drawn for them.

There is usually this easy familiarity especially with the ladies (maybe because they feel they have seen all there is to see, about you or they know all there is to know concerning you), so sometimes they just forget themselves and say things they shouldn't even say, or even act too familiar towards you in a way that is likely to cause friction between you and your current girlfriend or boyfriend. And you know what they say about familiarity breeding contempt. Unfortunately, most guys often interprete such actions as their -ex being friendly or nice, while their girlfriends see such -exes as babes with a hidden agenda. By the time the truth comes out, it is often too late to remedy the situation, and the guy is left pants down trying to do damage control.

I know a case where a girl told an ex-boyfriend of hers', that his current chic was 'unfashionable' and shouldn't be seen wearing jeans. The guy too laid down the law for his new babe, and said she should henceforth desist from wearing jeans. Meanwhile, only this ex-girlfriend has ever said that jeans look bad on the current babe o! 

To cut the long story short, I always wondered why the guy would take his ex-girlfriend's words as the gospel truth without seeking a second opinion, and even go as far as insisting that his current chic should dance to the ex-girlfriend's fashion rules.

Needless to say, their relationship is now over, and word on the street from the guy's office mates is that he is now back in a steamy relationship with his ex-girlfriend after breaking up with the other chic that was tagged 'unfashionable'. 

Shey una see the harm wey some -exes dey cause?? She don take mouth spoil di other babe, and then she come take style move back into the bobo's arms. . . . .God dey!

 

One of the things that I think most sensible guys dislike in any lady is one that flirts, not just flirting with new guys but with their excapades. If she wants to keep her ex as a friend, no problem, I will show her the door, her property and her transport money to her excapade and the relationship is over.

U if u both are happy with your new partners and happier bein JUST friends, y not?

If u both are happy with your new partners and happier bein JUST friends, y not?
hey, am a female, wats so in ma post that makes me sound like a male?  I believe a relationship is based on love and how happy both partners are, watever caused the breakup btw him and his ex its up to them but as long as they are happy with who they are with rite now, its ok.
     Albridge, sh*t happens and to move on we have to get over it!

Well it depends on what leed to the break up.

Just because a relationship with someone didn't work out doesn't mean he/she becomes an enemy automatically. . .I've come to realize some exs make really good friends. . .you just have to work out which one is worth keeping as a friend and which one needs to be discarded. . .

some exs though didn't work out. . .but contributed something meaningful to your life. . .and when I mean meaningful. . .they helped you grow as an individual. . .Yes you can keep these ones as friends. . .


some exs did nothing but contribute trouble and take from it. .  . . .you discard these ones. . .because they just bad news with a capital B.

really